Something New
by Female Heero Yuy
Summary: Sebastian is a demon this we all know. So as a demon, he has to learn human things to keep from being found out his true identity. Can he do it? Can he take it? Each chapter he learns something different. Enjoy.
1. Human Health

Something New

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Yeap I had another thought again. XD_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The Phantomhive manor was the same as it always was. Bard blew up the kitchen again, Maylene polished the banister with shoe polish again, and Finni killed every living plant in the garden again.

Sebastian sighed in frustration as he made his way towards the stairwell. A knock on the door came as he was about to make his way up the stairs. Going to the door he opened it. It was the post man.

"Evening sir, he's the day's post." the man said as he tilted his hat.

"Thank you." Sebastian said as he took the pile of letters from him, the man left and Sebastian shut the door as he looked through the mail quickly. Flipping through the mass amount of letters he took out the mail he usually dealt with. Bills, sales flyers, actual mail for the other servants and the like. Separating those onto an end table for later. He took the mail that was for Ciel and headed towards his original destination. Once he got to Ciel's office he knocked.

"Come in."

"Young master the nightly post just arrived." Sebastian said as he dropped it infront of Ciel on his desk. Causing a loud thump to sound after it hit the desk.

Ciel sighed as he looked at the pile before him. "I guess I should take care of this before heading to bed." He groaned as Sebastian got out a pen and piece of paper to write down any declines. Ciel did his typical tossing of rejections as he went through his mail. "No letters from the queen."

"It seems your assistence has not been needed as of late." Sebastian replied as he kept writting.

Ciel's eye widened as he came across a letter with his Aunt Frances's seal on it. Grabbing his letter opener he opened it slowly as if he were afraid it was going to bite him.

"Young master?" Sebastian inquired as Ciel looked over the contents of the letter.

"It seems my uncle's sister had a child." Ciel muttered as he read the letter.

"That's wonderful young master, shall I send a gift to the family for their addition?"

"No."

"No?" Sebastian repeated puzzled. "If I may young master it would be quiet rude not to do so."

Ciel put down the letter and looked at Sebastian, "I didn't say we would give a gift, I meant we wouldn't be sending it."

Blinking at Ciel, "Oh?"

"It seems we've been invited to a bris."

"A bris?" Sebastian looked at Ciel as he didn't know what it was. "Pardon me young master, but what is a bris?"

"I have no clue, but the letter states it a type of party."

"I see. So does the letter state the gender of the child? I'd hate to acquire the wrong gift and shame the Phantomhive name."

Ciel picked up the letter again, "It's a boy. The celebration is in three days, in Oxford. Aunt Frances insists I show up for it."

"That's a long journey young master, we may have to leave early just to make it in time."

Ciel sighed, "Have the others get ready as well."

Sebastian lifted a brow at that, "Young master are you sure thats wise?"

"It can't be helped, we're to stay for a week. If we leave them we might not have a house to come home to." Ciel put a hand to his head as he remembered the last time Sebastian and he left on business. Half the house was in ruins, and the other half was non existent.

Sebastian remembered it. It was horrible coming home to that. Or lack of home. They had to stay in a hotel while the repairs were being done. And to make matters worse he had to remake all the sentimental items by hand himself. "I see your point young master." Sebastian said with gloomy expression.

"Make the necessary preparations." Ciel ordered.

"Will you not sleep tonight master?"

"The sooner we start the journey, the sooner we get there."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yay! We're going on a trip! We're going on a trip!" Maylene, Bard and Finni chanted with glee.

"You hear that young master, their so excited." Sebastian said with a smile as he drove the carriage.

"Ah...let's just hope they don't destroy anything." Ciel said as he looked back toward the other carriage.

Driving towards a large manor, the two carriages continued until they finally pulled up to the front of the manor. A young man, who looked to be about Bards at awaited them.

"You must be the Earl Phantomhive. We've been expecting you." the man said as he bowed. "I take it your journey was enjoyable?"

"Indeed." Ciel replied as Sebastian helped him out of the carriage.

"I apologize Earl Phantomhive, but your Aunt Frances gave me instructions to bring you to her in the lounge upon your arrival." the man said.

Ciel's expressioned turned into a gloomy one, even Sebastian sweated alittle behind him. He hoped she wouldn't grab him like she'd done the last time and yell about their fringes. "Please lead the way." Ciel responded with Sebastian following behind.

Sebastian stopped for a moment, "Please make sure to deal with the luggage." he told the others before following Ciel again.

"Yes sir!" The other's saluted.

"Ho, ho, ho."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian was actually taken in with the inside of the manor. It was about the same size as Ciel's manor, but the decor was different. Lavish lamps, with plush couches, paintings of the highest quality, the rarest plants lined the halls as if they were walking through a green house­­­­­­­­, thick curtains covered the windows, were partially opened to let in very little light. He even saw cobbwebs and spiders. Over all it was a very cryptic looking manor. Sebastian loved it.

"Oh...young master maybe we should get some of their designing tips before we go?" he said as he looked over a vase, while Ciel sat on the sofa.

"No. I won't have my manor look like a dungeon." Ciel said annoyed at Sebastian for even thinking of such things. Sometimes he wondered what would happened if he actually allowed Sebastian to decorate his room. He shuddered at the thought. Sebastian's room would probably have satanic symbols everywhere, with a coffin somewhere and deep red walls. He shuddered to think of what else would end up in the room.

"Oh my just look at this poor intriguing portrait." Sebastian's voice came breaking Ciel out of his thoughts. "Is this your Uncle's sister?"

Ciel looked over at the portrait. "Yes, that's her." It was probably the only normal thing in the room.

"She's abit...." Sebastian started before shutting his mouth.

"Abit?" Ciel inquired interested in what he was going to say.

"Forgive me young master, but she's abit....I honestly don't think I should say it." Sebastian looked sheepish as he turned away from the portrait.

"He means she's the ugliest thing he's ever seen." a voice came from the doorway.

Ciel and Sebastian looked over at the speaker.

"Aunt Frances! That was uncalled for." Ciel stated in shock.

"Uncalled for it may be, but it's the truth." she said as she took a seat on the sofa. "I see you both have yet to make yourselves decent."

"Uh...forgive us Aunt Frances, we've only just arrived from our trip." Ciel looked over at Sebastian, who'd taken residence behind Ciel as if to use him as a shield in case she attacked them. "In any case, you wished to see me Aunt Frances?"

"I did. As you know we're here to partake in a bris. Strangely my sister in law is allowing servants to join in on the festivities. So I must ask that your servants." she stressed servants as she looked at Sebastian, "Be on their best behavior."

"Yes Aunt Frances."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that the house was in chaos. With the servants of the house preparing for the bris that was to take place in a matter of hours. Sebastian was preparing Ciel in his party outfit.

"Young master seems disappointed." Sebastian said as he worked on Ciel's cuffs.

"I honestly don't want to be here." he replied. "Parties are so dull."

"Ah but I guess you came to support your family in this occastion." Sebastian smiled as he finished in work. He got up and dusted himself off.

Ciel sigh, "Actually Aunt Frances insisted in her letter."

"I see. Then all we can do is enjoy ourselves until we have to make the journey home." Sebastian replied as he picked up a little. The others were busy getting ready themselves. Sebastian had already gotten himself ready, wearing a simple suit the color of chocolate, with a velvet orchid vest and a simple red ribbon tie. It almost looked like his normal butler suit, but his coat in the back was like Ciel's instead of the normal swallows tails. "Young master, have you found out what a bris is?"

"From what Aunt Frances told me, it's a party for boys. She said I would understand during the party."

"Oh." Sebastian said in confusion. He was hoping Ciel would know since he didn't know what it was. He'd never heard of a bris before. And since they were so busy he didn't get a chance to find out what it was.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The party was extremely boring, as Ciel predicted. Everyone was chattering, and enjoying the conversation of the room. Ciel along with his servants just stood off to the side, looking very much like outcasts.

"Young master, it's very rude to stay by the wall." Sebastian chided, giving Ciel a little push. Ciel just glared at him before walking slowly to the closest person.

"Bard no smoking!" Maylene said as she snatched a cigarette from Bard before he could put it in his mouth. "It's bad for the baby."

"Aw come on I wasn't gonna light it. Besides, even if I did, it's not like the kid can get an uglier." Bard remarked.

Sebastian smirked when Bard said that, he wouldn't admit it, but he did think the child was horribly hideous. At first he thought someone had brought their pet and put it in the baby crib as a joke. It wasn't until Ciel's relative kissed it, was when he realized it was the baby. He'd seen baby ogres look cuter. Heck he could go as far as saying the ugliest thing he'd ever seen looked cuter. And that was an understatement.

Bard sighed, "I really wish they'd get this over with. I already feel bad for the kid as it is."

Sebastian blinked at Bard's statement. He couldn't believe Bard knew what this was about. "Excuse me?"

Bard looked at Sebastian in surprise. "You know..with the snipping part."

"Snipping?"

"You can't honestly expect me to believe you don't know what a bris is do you?" Bard said in surprise.

"I've never been to one, so I don't know what it is." Sebastian replied.

Bard smirked, "Well then your in for a big surprise."

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked, but Bard just walked away towards another servant girl, hitting on her. "I don't understand what he meant."

"Sebastian do you really not know what a bris is?" Finni asked in surprise as well.

Sebastian was starting to think his world was crumbling, how could the idiot servants know something he didn't. "If I did I wouldn't of asked."

Finni gave Sebastian a worried look. "Umm..Sebastian.." he started, but was cut off.

"Alright everyone, it's time for the bris!" Ciel's relative announced. She pushed people to huddle in a circle. Everyone gathered around to view the special moment.

Ciel's Aunt Frances stood beside Ciel and Elizabeth, putting a hand on each of their shoulders.

Sebastian got as close as he could, trying to see what it was all about. He saw a man put on some rubber gloves and pick up a pair of scissors. He stood over the baby and brought the scissors up to the child's area. Sebastian's eyes widened in shock. His mouth became agap as the man did the snip. Everyone applauded the doctor. Just as they finished, Sebastian did something no one thought he was even capable of doing. He fainted.

Ciel looked over in shock. "Sebastian!" he shouted as he ran over with Bard picking him up off the floor.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Sebastian woke up he was embarassed. He couldn't believe he'd fainted. Bard had taken it upon himself to rub it in at every given moment. Atleast until Sebastian threatened to castrate him.

Ciel poked at him through the sheets. "Are you going to mope all day?"

"That poor child." came Sebastian's voice from under the sheets.

"Sebastian circumcision is a perfectly healthy proceedure." Ciel stated as he continued to poke at his butler. "Don't demon's do such things?"

"NO!!" Sebastian shouted from under the sheets. "Only humans do such cruel things!"

"Didn't you notice the differences between.....*cough*?" Ciel covered his mouth, embarassed.

"I just thought human male's penis grew slight different." Sebastian groaned.

Ciel's Aunt Frances came into the room. "Is he still moping?" she asked harshly.

"Seems so." Ciel replied.

She walked over to the bed and yanked the sheets off with one swoop. "Get up and be a man! I need you to help clean up!" she ordered as Sebastian jumped slightly.

He looked at her with sad eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After cleaning the items used for what Sebastian called a cruel human act. He was near the crib looking at the baby. His head barely coming over the side as he bent down, his hand held the side of the crib. "You poor thing." he wallowed, giving the baby sad puppy eyes.

"Sebastian will you get over it! He's not even going to remember it when he's older!" Ciel shouted, though it was surprising he didn't wake the baby.

"The poor baby." He whined still looking into the crib. He'd gotten past how ugly the child was and now pitied it. For demon's sex was a way of life, thus they protected their areas like a human protected their young.

"Sebastian.." Ciel growled. His Aunt Frances came into the room with the doctor that'd done the deed. Sebastian didn't look over as he was busy feeling sorry for the baby.

"Ciel I need to have a word with you." Frances stated as he sat on the sofa, ignoring Sebastian.

Ciel took a seat, as the doctor stood by. "Yes Aunt Frances?"

"I know this is possibly none of my business, but are all the younger males....circumcised?" she asked as she looked at Sebastian. He gave no reaction that he was even listening.

"I wouldn't know." Ciel answered her.

"You know very well we can't allow the chances of getting diseases from our servants. You need to have them checked, and if not..." She started, then did a scissor motion with her fingers. "If you catch my implication." The nobles were very adamant about health and did anything to keep their homes disease free. Which also meant all servants underwent the same procedures.

"If I may suggest, I can do the inspection myself since i'm already here." the doctor said as he watched Sebastian wallow over the baby. "I can also carry out the procedure if you like."

"I don't think.." Ciel started, but when he got a glare from Frances he changed his reply, "Thank you very much for your assistence."

"The appointment is tomorrow." Frances announced as she left, "And make sure he..." she pointed at Sebastian, "is there on time."

Ciel gave her an expression that clearly stated, are you serious?! After she and the doctor left, he looked over at Sebastian who had yet to move from the baby's crib. He was very sure tomorrow was going to be a bad day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Young master what is this doctor's appointment about?" Sebastian asked as he followed Ciel down the hall. He'd apparently not heard a single word his aunt had said yesterday.

Ciel walked into a room where Finni and Bard were waiting. Ignoring Sebastian's question entirely. "Finni, Bard, block the door and don't let Sebastian out." Ciel ordered as he took a seat.

They walked past him to sit by the door. As their appointment had been done earlier.

"Young master...what's going on?" Sebastian asked abit worried. He didn't like the look Ciel was giving him. The doctor came in holding a clipboard. Sebastian took a few steps back when he recognized him as the doctor from the circumcision. "Young master....why is he here?" he asked, sweating a little.

The doctor snapped on some rubber gloves, "Now then Mr. Michealis, let's see if you've been properly snipped."

Those words made Sebastian dash towards the door. Finni and Bard tackled him down and pulled him up. "Come on it's really fast." Bard smirked as he held on. Though Sebastian was making it difficult to pull him back.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!" He shouted still trying to pull himself out of their grasp. He might of succeeded if it was only Bard holding him. But Finni's inhuman strength kept him from making a run for it.

"Sebastian if you just cooperate it'll go by faster." Ciel stated as he read a magazine with boredom. Not really paying attention to what was going on.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maylene was in the hall waiting by the door. Ciel had ordered her to stand watch there in case Sebastian had somehow got away.

That's when she heard Sebastian scream. She sweat when she heard it. He made it sound like he was being murdered. Though in Sebastian's opinion he was.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian had locked himself in his room after the procedure, or act of cruelty as Sebastian forever named it, had been done.

"Sebastian open the door!" Ciel shouted at it for the millionth time. Because Sebastian was being stubborn, Ciel hadn't gotten anything done. He wasn't even dressed for the day.

"Never!" came Sebastian's voice from the otherside of the door.

"OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Ciel shouted even louder, as he tried the door handle, which he'd done 30 or so times.

"You had a piece of me cut off! A piece of me! AND I CAN NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!" Sebastian shouted back, then a loud bang came from the door. He'd apparently thrown something at the door to emphasize his point.

Ciel was starting to get stares from the other guests in the manor. Everyone was wondering what the commotion was about, speaking in hushed whispers. Some giggling at the sight before them. He was starting to feel very embarrassed, especially since it was his butler he was arguing with. Some of the whispers were, that his butler and him were having a lover's quarrel. Another was they got into a fight, and his butler was spoiled rotten due to getting the benefits of the noblility. One interesting whisper, was secretly Sebastian was a member of the Phantomhive household, but he was the bastard child and to keep a scandal down they'd made him their butler.

His Aunt Frances was coming down the hall, looking very angry. "What is all the commotion about?"

Ciel looked at her, "Nothing."

She gave everyone else a stiff glance, which made them all return to their rooms. "It does not seem like it is nothing. Explain this instant."

Ciel sighed as he looked at the door, explaining to his aunt about what happened at the appointment, and where they stood now. It was a short explaination. But then again what was there to explain. Sebastian got circumsized, he was upset, locked himself in his room, and wouldn't come out. Ciel couldn't even use his contract to make him open the door as there were far too many people who could see him doing it.

"Of all the childish things. This is why a woman is needed in the household." Frances muttered as she pulled out a skeleton key.

"Where did you get that?" Ciel asked shocked.

"Are you kidding? I could hear you banging on the door from my room. It doesn't take much for one to realize a key would be needed." she said as she opened the door. "Sebastian!" she then shouted. "Come here this instant!"

Looking to the bed there was a huge lump in it. Presumably Sebastian covered in the beds sheets. This proved to be so, when a reply came from the cacoon. "No!"

Frances started tapping her foot, "Of all my nephew's servants I thought you to be the most mature. It seems I was wrong."

"Your one of the causes of my pain! I can't forgive you either!"

"You should be thanking me, because of me, and tradition, you'll avoid far more diseases than most commoners who live non servatude lives."

"Tradition?! You took a piece of me for tradition?!"

"No, for health reasons. As a butler of noblility it is expected for you to serve for life. Now stop being childish and come out from under the sheets!"

"No." Sebastian said far more calm than he'd replied before.

Still tapping her foot, "And why not?"

There was some mumbling, but nothing could be clearly heard.

"What?" Frances asked getting closer to try to hear.

"I'm not....mahmentm."

"Your not what?" she asked as she lifted a brow.

With a huge breath, "I'm not wearing anything!" Sebastian uttered more clearly.

"Oh please, do you honestly expect me you are under those sheets in nothing?" Frances said as she started pulling the sheets off. She got part of it off revealing Sebastian as he sat up trying to regrab the sheet, she was holding the sheet like it was a tarp luckily, so it prevented others from seeing him. Very slowly she recovered him with the sheet, and walked away, blushing furiously. The floor was very interesting to her as she left the room and shut the door. Leaving Ciel and Sebastian alone.

"I told her I was in nothing." Sebastian responded after she shut the door.

Ciel glared at Sebastian as he wrapped the sheet about his waist. "Shut up." Ciel replied as he walked up to Sebastian. "Feeling better now that it's been explained to you for the millionth time?"

"No." Sebastian pouted.

"Uuuhhhgg! Your impossible. Why can't you accept it!" Ciel threw his arms up in the air.

"I'm a demon, that's a sensitive area." Sebastian snubbed.

"Then you can take pride in knowing that your the only demon whos been circumsized!"

"More like embarassment!"

"Sebastian, the baby is over it, follow his example!"

"Hmph."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The journey home was a silent one. Even when they got home it was agonizingly silent. Ciel admittingly thought he was going to get an earful from his Aunt Frances about the Sebastian being naked incident. But he didn't which he was relieved for. Sebastian walked into the house, making no attempt to help with the luggage.

"Where's he off to?" Bard asked, frustrated that he'd get stuck with Finni and Maylene doing the luggage.

Everyone else just shrugged.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian surrounded himself with books upon books about circumcision. He'd read each and everyone like it was a religious need. Though he did find circumcision was done in some religions.

Ciel came into the library and sat on a nearby sofa. "So....find anything interesting?" he smirked.

"Your family isn't jewish." Sebastian replied still reading his book.

Ciel lifted a brow, "No...no we are not, but we've never claimed to be either."

"So then why have it done? Everything i've read states everything is questioned about the health benefits of it."

"True, but it's better to be prepared than to take a chance don't you think?"

Sebastian looked at Ciel, ".......Did it hurt when you had it done?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't know, I was a baby."

"Oh......so why does your family throw a bris? A bris is apparently a jewish thing." Sebastian asked as he put his book down.

"Hmmm...I think my relative is the only one who's thrown a bris." Ciel replied scratching his head. "She is abit...strange in that aspect."

"Oh...."

"Are you satisfied yet?" Ciel asked abit annoyed.

"....I guess." Sebastian replied looking at the floor.

"Good then there will be no more discussions...or arguements about it." Ciel stated before getting up to leave the room.

Sebastian started picking up the books and replacing them on the shelves...Humans....have strange customs. He thought, then he thought about his experience with it. "Heh....i'm the only demon who's been circumsized. That's...weird...yet..interesting." he said to himself as he put the final book back on the shelf.

"I hope I don't endure further human methods of health. I don't like the idea of not being able to endulge in my own pleasures for almost two months." He said as he shut the door.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Wow...I need a life..seriously XD. I couldn't help but think what Sebastian might do if he was put in that situation. I made myself laugh with this story. Plus it gave me an excuse to use Ciel's Aunt Frances abit more. XD_

_Reviews and critique appreciated._


	2. Clever Elderly

Something New 2

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

A few weeks had passed since the bris had happened. Sebastian was over his so called punishment, which Ciel was grateful for. Though Sebastian had gotten his revenge by denying everyone in the house sweets during his healing period. Even though the doctor had told him it'd take 2 months to heal. He'd fully healed in about two and a half weeks. His Aunt Frances even came to visit, and it seemed she was over the incident from the previous visit. Though it seemed she now took whatever Sebastian said to be the absolute truth as a precaution.

"Ciel, I must request your assistence in a matter pertaining my grandmother." Frances stated with the utmost sterness in her voice.

"Oh?" Ciel looked intruged by how she said it.

Sighing Frances looked as though she had to find the right words before speaking. "As you know granny is abit.....weak minded."

Ciel knew very his great grandmothers mental condition wasn't the greatest in the world. She sometimes called him by his fathers name and told him of all the stunts his father pulled, thinking he was his father. "Indeed."

"Do you remember the Countess Silvia I used to converse with?" she asked.

Indeed he did, for even as a child she thought was a very pretty woman, thin frame, very young looking for someone her age, her long hair. "Yes I remember her. But why bring her up?" he asked, he rememberd the Countess had unfortunately come down with an illness that could not be cured. As such she passed away.

"Granny will be coming for a visit, and as such, the Countesses family is unable to come on such short notice. I was thinking we could disguse Sebastian as a member of the family for the duration of the visit."

"Hmmm, well it would make it easier to handle granny." Ciel muttered. His great grandmother was apparently coming to his house for a visit, but also sent his Aunt Frances an invitation for them to gather.

Ciel looked over at Sebastian, smirking, "I think that would be a fine thing to do. Since granny....can't take much more surprises in her age." he smiled. The countesses family were known for being quite loyal in pleasing others with stating whatever they wanted to hear.

"Very good, well then..." Frances started as she yanked Sebastian to follow her, "Your training starts now." she announced, as a very surprised Sebastian was dragged away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Frances had apparently trained herself from feeling embarassment as she stripped Sebastian of everything except his undergarments. Ciel had ordered him to wear them if he wasn't to prevent further shocks. She measured him, checked his body for any unwanted hair she didn't want. Such as on the legs, arm pits, arms, she seemed satisfied when there wasn't a hair on any of those areas. Though she became curious as to how he kept the hair away as it didn't seem it grew anywhere except his head, brows, eyelashes, and his area that she'd seen before.

"It seems you barely reach the height requirement, but it's good enough." she muttered as she pulled out items from the suitcase she'd brought with her. Pulling out a garment, she looked at him threateningly. "Now then, let us begin."

Sebastian trembled as she neared him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ciel was annoyed due to Lizzy following him around the manor. He wondered which member of the Countesses family his Aunt Frances was going to pick. He hadn't seen either in hours, and he was getting hungry.

"Lizzy how much longer is she going to take?" he complained, he didn't even know which room she'd dragged Sebastian to for his training. But she did say he'd be very surprised when she was finished. Looking ahead in the hall he saw a door open and his aunt come out of the room.

"Ah your just in time. Please do come in." she said looking satisfied with herself. Ciel and Lizzy walked into the room, but Sebastian was no where to be seen. "Please take a seat." she said with utter politeness which was freaking Ciel out. But he sat now to await the unveiling. He thought Sebastian could of been dressed as the Count himself, his over weight body, with a bald head. Or the Eldest son, with his droopy expression, and pathetic eyes. Ciel snickered at those thoughts. But nothing prepared him for what he saw.

"Sebastian, come here." Frances ordered.

The door to the bathroom opened slowly, and instead of a male coming into the room. It was a beautiful young lady, with long raven hair, a lavander dress with flowers on the trim. A simple head piece with bows on each side, a chocker on his neck with a simple gem hanging from it the color of grass. Ciel's jaw dropped.

"WOW!! Sebastian you look so wonderful!!" Lizzy shouted as she hugged him. Sebastian looked like he wanted to die.

"Sebastian, women do not hunch over in depression!" Frances barked, making him stand up straight immediately.

He looked to be a completely different person. Ciel's curiosity got the best of him as he noticed Sebastian's chest. Walking over he poked at the appendages. "Oh...." he started, but was wacked on the head by his aunt.

"A gentleman does not touch a womans chest!"

"Eeeiiee." Ciel rubbed his head. But he couldn't believe how realistic they looked.

"Can I kill myself now?" Sebastian asked without remorse. Apparently he wasn't thrilled in the slightest.

"Certainly not! You will act as a lady, even until granny comes. We can't have you slipping up while she's here." Frances responded in her lecturing tone. "Now walk, I need to make sure you can walk like a lady.

Sebastian just sighed and walked as a proper lady should. Surprising Frances tremendiously since he'd done it with ease. "Are you sure....your a man?" she asked as she looked him over.

"How could you forget so soon Aunt Frances, you saw him naked." Ciel snickered and Lizzy blushed.

Frances just blushed slightly as she coughed into her hand. "Well then, let's see what else we have to do to make you a proper lady."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After several days, Ciel's great granny finally arrived. Sebastian whined the whole time before she came through the door.

"My, my Vincent you have such a lovely home." she commented to Ciel.

"Granny I told you, i'm Ciel." Ciel muttered, gaining a smack on his head from Frances.

"Oh and Frances you've grown to be such a lovely lady." She said as she hugged her.

"I trust your journey was well?" Frances asked.

"But of course, traveling does wonders for a woman of old age this time of year."

"Granny it's so nice to see you." Lizzy said as she hugged her.

"Oh Elizabeth, my how you've grown! I bet Ciel will be thrilled when he see's you!" she replied as she looked Lizzy over. Then she turned to the servants. "And who are these people?" she smiled.

"These are my servants, Bard, Maylene, Finni and you already know Tanaka." Ciel introduced. Each servant nodding, except Tanaka.

"Ho, ho, ho."

"Oh Tanaka you get funnier with your jokes every year." she said, confusing everyone except Tanaka.

"Oh granny do you remember the Countess Silvia?" Frances asked politely, which was awkward for everyone else except Lizzy and Granny. No one had ever seen her be so polite before.

"Oh Silvia? How's the little darling doing? I haven't seen her in ages!" Granny proclaimed with delight.

"When I told her you were visiting she just had to come to see you." Frances lied as if she were speaking of the weather.

"Oh, where is she? Please take me to her. I haven't seen her since her mother passed away. And I must pay my respects. Abraham!" She stated, then turned when she called the young man. He looked to be of noble class, with short brown hair, and blue eyes.

"Yes my lady?" he bowed.

"Come there is someone I wish for you to meet. And it seems fate has deemed it appropriate for it to happen during my visit."

Everyone was confused by her statement, with the exception of Abraham who simply bowed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian sat on the porch of the back yard awaiting to be introduced to Ciel's great grandmother. He sat slumped in his chair as he tried to get comfortable with a too small corset tied on. Frances had made him wear a pink dress, with long sleeves and modest neckline. The puffy upper part of the sleeves annoyed him to no end, but since he couldn't do anything about it he took to playing with the wide part of the sleeves. He was just grateful that the other servants hadn't seen him. He had avoided them as much as possible during the past few days. While he was thinking he heard footsteps coming his way, so he quickly sat up to make himself more ladylike.

"Countess, granny is here." came Frances's voice.

Getting up he presented himself as a repectable lady. "Granny it's so good to see you!" he said in his move feminine voice. Then hugged her. She hugged back. "Oh Silvia i'm so sorry for your loss."

"My loss?" Sebastian asked, he didn't know what she was talking about, so he pulled away from the hug and looked at her awkwardly.

'Gah! I forgot to tell him Silvia's mother passed away!' Frances thought to herself.

"Oh you poor dear, blocking out your mothers death. I'm sure it was very tramatic for you." Granny continued.

"Oh...yes, indeed." Sebastian faultered abit. But regained composure after a moment. Then he realized the others were staring at him. Which was something he could live with, but he didn't like the look Bard was giving him. It was like he was trying to be a classy man, winking at him and giving him other signals.

"Oh Silvia there's a young man who's been dying to meet you!" Granny said breaking his attention from the stares.

"Who might that be granny?" he said as if he didn't care, but she didn't seem to catch on.

"Abraham!" She called, then the young man came over, taking Sebastian's hand and kissing it softly. Sebastian shuddered in disgust slightly, but no one seemed to notice.

"How do you do my lady?" he said as he glaced up at Sebastian's face, then was taken aback. "You are as beautiful as a spring flower." he said after.

'What's with that cliche line?' Sebastian thought, "I am very well kind sir, I thank you for your compliment. I was enjoying some tea while enjoying the fresh air, would you care to join?" he said, wishing the man would let go of his hand.

"Indeed I would, it would be very un noble of me to deny such a fine lady's offer." he said in a tone that made Sebastian want to throw up.

"You two enjoy yourselves." came granny's voice.

"Granny, why don't you join as well?" Sebastian offered, he didn't like the look the man was giving him.

"I'm sorry dear, but i'm old, and need my rest. Frances, Lizzy, Vincent, do this old woman an act of kindness and show her the way would you?" Granny stated to them making them stare at her in wonder. But they didn't have time to ponder as they were forced to follow her into the house along with the others. But she stopped after making a turn from the door. "Oh to be young again." she said as she glanced back.

"Granny, what are you doing?" Frances questioned.

"Nothing a little spring air won't do." she smiled as she continued in her walk. "I'm glad he's taking a liking to her."

Ciel's eye widened in shock, apparently his great granny was a very clever woman. "You.....you brought him here on purpose?" he said not really meaning to.

"But of course. Frances always invites the Countess to come when I visit. I thought it was only fitting I brought a young gentleman who had an interest in looking for companionship." Granny smiled.

Ciel snickered into his hand. He wondered what the man would do if he knew Sebastian was male.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian gawked as he watched everyone leave him with the man. It didn't take much for him to realized he'd been set up. Looking back at the man who'd yet to let go of his hand he watched as the mans eyes twinkled in delight. Then tried to take his hand back. But the man wouldn't let go. "Ummm...could I have my hand back?" he asked in his normal voice, but the man didn't seem to notice.

Abraham got up but kept his hold. "Please allow me to bask in your beauty for abit longer my dearest lady. I'm so stunned that I feel as though i'm looking at a goddess from the heavens."

"........Riiiiiggghhht...I think...i'm done getting air and it's time for me to go inside now." Sebastian said as he forcibly pulled his hand out of Abrahams. "Good day to you." he rushed, but was grabbed from behind and pulled back in to his unwanted embrace. "Hey! Let go!" Sebastian shouted as he tried to unclasp Abrahams arms from his waist.

"I cannot do that, i've become love struck by your beauty." he said as he snuggled against Sebastian.

"I said let go!" Sebastian said as he shoved the man off and then made his getaway into the manor.

Abraham just got up and dusted himself off, "Playing hard to get are we? I can deal with that.", smiling he walked back into the manor.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian ran all the way to Ciel's room and locked the door once inside.

"Oh? It's presumptious of a lady to come into a gentleman's room." Ciel teased.

Sebastian glared at him, "Shut up!"

"But you know Sebastian you can't use your normal strength. It'll give you away in a heart beat." Ciel smirked. He was enjoying Sebastian's torment.

"Damn you...." he growled at Ciel.

"You know, granny wants to hold a party, please be sure to prepare for it." Ciel turned away as if he was doing something else.

"Oh darling! Your prince has arrived!" came Abraham's voice from behind the locked door. Causing Sebastian to freak out.

"How did he find me?!" Sebastian said in shock.

"It seems he have a love sense for you." Ciel cooed.

Sebastian looked incredibly disgusted at that remark.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The party was held two days later after that. And Sebastian was in for a huge surprise. When he walked into the courtyard with Ciel as his escort, he saw that a vast majority of the guests were young men, and each were holding a flower. When all of them turned to face him and Ciel, he shook with distaste as all of them glanced at him with adoring eyes. "What...kind of party is this?" Sebastian said silently. Ciel's granny came up behind him.

"Oh my dear don't you know? As your mothers last request it was my duty to find you a finance. All these gentleman are here seeking your hand in marriage. Isn't it wonderful to have so many suitors?" She smiled in her own enigma way.

Sebastian started trembling, as Ciel looked on in surprise. There was atleast 50 young men, each with a different flower.

"Oh and besure to take the flower of the one you like. Although from a few days ago i'm sure you it's Abraham you fancy." she continued, making Sebastian quake even more.

"I'm not feeling well..." he said as he tried to get back into the manor, but he was blocked abruptly.

"Oh? The little flower is trying to make her escape now is she?" Bard teased, "Now, now we can't have you breaking these young men's hearts without a chance now can we?" Bard said as he grabbed Sebastian's wrist and started dragging him into the courtyard.

"Let go! Bard!" Sebastian shouted as he was about punch him in the head for touching him. But it was apparently mistakened for distress. Since after he said it Bard was getting tons of glares from the other men.

"Unhand her you filthy beast!" came Abraham's voice from behind them. As Bard was turning he was punched right in the face, with an unexpected blow. Shocking everyone including Sebastian. Sebastian's shock was short lived however when Abraham grabbed him, and pulled him into an embrace.

Bard rubbed his aching chin, "Hey! That was uncalled for!"

"A lowly servant such as you should know better than to put his hands on a lady!" Abraham responded.

"Why you...." he growled.

"Bard!" came Ciel's voice. Even though he was enjoying the show, he had to atleast make it look like he was protecting the so called damsel in distress. "I'll over look this, but you are to get back to work!" he barked.

Bard scoffed and returned to his duties. But not before glaring at Abraham.

As the silence grew heavy, there was a sound of clapping, "Now everyone, please enjoy the party." granny announced, which made the party go back as it was before. She then walked to Sebastian and Abraham, "Why don't you two find a nice quiet place to chat." she pushed softly as to make her point.

"Indeed." Abraham said as his eye sparkled.

Sebastian trembled with disgust as he was dragged away.

"Now my lady, you should hold on to the arm of a gentleman or you'll trip." Abraham cooed.

"Uhh...no...thank you." He muttered as he saw how far they were actually going away from the festivities. They were getting pretty close to the boat that Ciel had on his property. Which meant they trees gave them a little too much privacy.

Once Abraham stopped, he offered a fallen tree for him to sit at. Sebastian sat down as far away from Abraham as the tree would allow, but Abraham kept sliding over until he was at the edge. When he was about to get up, Abraham wrapped his arm about him to keep him from going further. He was starting to wish he was anywhere, with anyone else, than where he was now. "It's a pleasant evening isn't it?"

Sebastian blinked in surprise, and thought for a moment he'd misjudged Abraham....almost. Abraham decided grabbing his rear at that moment was a good opportunity. So Sebastian did what any other person would do in his situation. He slapped him across the face...hard. Abraham fell to the ground in a heap, as Sebastian stood up. Tugging on his glove he started to walk away. When he was suddenly tackled from behind, then flipped onto his back.

"How...how dare you hit me?!" Abraham enraged as he shook Sebastian by the shoulders.

Sebastian glared at him in a way that clearly said, get off or i'll kill you. Abraham didn't seem to notice however as he raised his hand to backhand Sebastian. Right when he was about to defend himself he felt a burning sensation on his left hand where the contract was, stopping him. Thus he received the slap which was keenly felt, and made his face snap the to the same direction the hand finished at. For a brief moment he wondered what had happened, but then dread filled the pit of his stomach. He'd forgotten he was under specific orders to do nothing that gave away he was male until otherwise stated.

"I'll show you what it means to show disregaurd towards me!" he said with venom as he picked Sebastian up and slammed his back into a tree. "It's a good thing granny has a liking for me. Because when this is over you'll be my wife, and you'll learn to obey."

Sebastian panted as the pain shot through his shoulders, but it wasn't enough to make him loose his footing. "If..you think i'm going....to marry a bastard such as you..your insane." he shot back, giving Abraham a look of defiance.

Abraham slapped him again, "Listen well girl, I always get what I want. Once I marry your i'll have a high title, and the social prestige I need to do whatever I please."

"Oh...is this how you treat a lady? Your mother must be ashamed of you. Then again...it explains why you lack the same social rankings as your own family." he grinned, he was going to enjoy beating him when granny left.

This turned out to be a mistake of words, as Abraham punched him hard in the stomach. Norminally such a blow wouldn't of affected him so easily, but since the corset was already constricting his normal breathing ability, he lost the little air he was able to maintain and collasped into Abrahams arms. "I'll make sure to have my pleasure with you. I'd wait until the wedding night, but I don't want to take a chance that you'll become involved with someone else." He said as he picked Sebastian up and put him over his shoulder. "Now lets see where we can have some alone time."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ciel was starting to become abit anxious. Sebastian had been gone for a long time with Abraham and he hoped it meant he was behaving himself. Even with his order he wasn't sure how much damage Sebastian could do even until limited circumstances.

"It's such a lovely evening don't you think?" granny calmly stated as she stared at the moon.

"Yes granny." he responded.

"A lovely night for many truths to come out."

That made him blink in confusion as he didn't understand what she meant. He also noticed Bard hadn't been around for a while. But thought nothing of it. He was sure he was upset about earlier and was sulking.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abraham walked near the manor and came across the shed for the gardening tools. He smirked as no one had seen him. "Well now, it's not what I had in mind, but it'll do." he said as he let himself in. Shutting the door behind him, he looked around and saw a sheet in the corner. He picked it up and set it up on floor hastily. Using his feet to straighten it out as he was still holding Sebastian on his shoulder.

Sebastian groaned in pain as he started to become concious. Abraham put him on the sheets and licked his lips evilly. "Now then, let's get started in procuring you as mine shall we? Oh and do try to make sure it's a boy, I can't have my first born be a girl you know." he said as he started lifted the hem of Sebastian's dress. He got as far as lifting it to his upper thighs when he was hit in the head suddenly. "Gahh!!....What that?" he said as he turned and saw Bard holding a blunt object.

"I thought nobles were supposed to be gentlemen, but I guess your an exception." He said in a cool calm voice as he glared at Abraham.

"Then i'll deal with you first before I mark her." Abraham replied as he threw a punch.

But this time since Bard was more prepared he dodged it easily, dropped the object he was holding and punched him in the stomach. As it was a clear hard blow, Abraham went down, holding his stomach. Dusting himself off, Bard fixed Sebastian's dress and picked him up bridal style. "I think the lady is done chatting with you." he said as he walked out of the shed.

"You...bastard.. YOU'LL PAY!" Abraham shouted after him.

But Bard ignored him, and just walked towards the manor. He wondered if he should walk to directly to the party, or take the Countess inside the manor first. "Man where's that guy when you need him?" he muttered, "Of all the times to take a vacation, he really did choose a bad time." After a moment of thinking he decided is was probably better to just head to the party, even if he was accused he was sure Ciel would believe him once the information was given. He also didn't want to take the chance Abraham would beat him to the party and tell a false tale. He got to the doors to the courtyard and stopped short of the lights. Looking down at the Countess who'd yet to awaken, he hadn't really thought about it, but he just couldn't get off how beautiful she was. "Heh, a girl like you wouldn't even give a guy like me a second glance." he muttered, then looked as her partially parted lips. "Would..it be okay to have just one kiss?" he asked himself. Then slowly dipped in for a stolen kiss without realizing it.

Sebastian started waking up, and felt something touching his lips, groaning he started to become fully concious. When he opened his eyes, he saw Ciel and many others looking at him in shock from the door. When he tried to speak he became shocked himself as if finally dawned at him what was happening. For a second he thought it was Abraham, but then the scent of the person came into his nose like the a sudden wave, and he felt even more nauseated.

Bard pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes. Smirking nervously as he saw everyone was staring at him, "Uh..hi....I bet your all wondering why I was kissing the Countess...heh..heh." he said, then looked down and saw two very angry pairs of eyes glaring at him. Two very recognizable angry eyes.

"I'm sorry...countess..let me explain! Ow!" Bard bawled as he was hit in the head.

"BARD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Sebastian shouted as he picked up a nearby table, and lifted it over his head. Ready to attack him with it.

Bard was shocked as he recognized the voice. "SEBASTIAN?! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A WOMAN?!" He shouted in shocked. Then it dawned on him that he'd just kissed a man, and not any man, but Sebastian, and started sputtering.

Ciel had managed to get Finni to take the table away from Sebastian before he could use it as a weapon. He was now holding him by the waist to keep him from making his threat a reality.

"I'm going to kill you!! How dare you kiss me?!....Gah!!" Sebastian had started in anger, then he was now revolted. "Ahhh! I was kissed by Bard!!" He shouted after and started gagging.

Granny came into the room like nothing was happening and walked over to Sebastian. "Thank you." she said.

Sebastian kept wiping at his lips, "Huh?"

"Thank you very much young man for helping me." she smiled, which shocked everyone.

"You mean...you knew?!" Sebastian stunned, he didn't know what he did to give it away.

"I must say at first I thought you were a woman, but of course...the good countess has long passed. And there is no other woman who could disguse themselves as her so easily. Your a very good actor."

Frances responded, "Granny, how did you know?"

"Frances.. i'm old, and there are days when I don't know who I am, but I could never forget someone as noble as the countess. She did after all, take care of me when I was ill, and was like a daughter to me."

"So why did you follow along with this?!" Sebastian asked hastily. "Why couldn't you of said something? I wore a dress for almost two weeks for you?!....I ENDED UP GETTING KISSED BY ANOTHER MAN!" he continued in panic and disgust.

As she turned she smiled at Sebastian, "And you make such a lovely woman too. But as for following with it...well. Unfortunately it was requested of me to prove Abraham was guilty of abuse."

Everyone was shocked to the point where they could not speak. So they listened on.

"His mother...was worried. So many young ladies had disappeared after they'd come into contact with Abraham. But we had no proof. I apologize young man for putting you in any danger." she continued as he touched Sebastian's reddened cheek. "But I hope...you'll speak when asked by the police what you endured. Sebastian just nodded. Even though on the inside he wanted to do Abraham's punishment himself. That's when Abraham came stumbling in, looking wornout, dirty and in pain.

"It's a trick!" he shouted. "Have that man arrested!" he pointed at Bard. Not really taking the hint that all was already revealed.

"Whatever do you mean Abraham?" granny asked playing along for the moment.

"That man assaulted me and the countess! He plotted to bed with her to gain noble rank! Constable! Arrest him before he gets away!"

Many of the young men surrounded Abraham, "What are you doing?! Get him?!"

"Abraham, your mother gave me a message to give to you." She started as she walked towards him and stopped short of the officers who were disgused as eligible bachelors. "I'm doing this for your own good."

"What?!"

"Abraham, your mother knew all along what you've done. She's just sorry she couldn't save the other girls." she then nodded to have him taken away. Once he was taken the suffocating air lifted.

"Wow! Sebastian! Your so pretty! I didn't know it was you the whole time." Finni awed as the officers left. "But I thought you were on vacation.."

Sebastian just huffed as he crossed his arms, "I wish I got a vacation." he said to himself. Then he felt the side of his dress being lifted. Looking down he saw it was Bard looking at his legs.

"My god! I can't believe how feminine your legs are!" he said mesmerized by them. "I don't know if it's a waste or not."

Sebastian shook with anger, "Bard....." he growled as he made a fist.

"I also can't believe you can walk in heels so easily!" Bard stated as he gawked at Sebastian's legs. He was tempted to touch them to see if they felt as smooth as they looked.

Sebastian kicked in his direction but missed. "I'm going to kill you and this time I mean it!" he shouted as he started chasing Bard around the room.

Ciel just laughed at the scene before him. While Frances scoffed in distaste, but giggled herself as she thought it was very amusing watching them run around the room, while Finni and Maylene chased them to try to stop the fight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later, everyone was preparing for bed. Sebastian was with Ciel in his room.

"Sebastian, your wasting toothpaste." Ciel complained as it was his favorite brand of toothpaste. It had a very pleasant mint flavor that lasted for hours.

Sebastian was in Ciel's private bathroom, scrubbing feriously at his mouth which was filled with as much toothpaste as he could use. Gargling he spit for the 10th time to empty his mouth of it. "AHHH! It won't leave my mouth!!" he whined as he could still feel Bard's tongue in his mouth. Putting more toothpaste on his toothbrush to scrub again.

"I thought it was interesting to see Bard steal a kiss from you." he giggled as Sebastian gargled again.

"I'm going to have nightmares!" he said as he walked back into the room. Now in his regular butler attire minus his coat.

"You don't even sleep." Ciel reminded.

Sebastian just glared at him. "I can if I want to!" he said as he wiped his face dry and tossed out the empty toothpaste tube and a ruined toothbrush.

Ciel just turned away as the smirk on his face stayed in place. "Though it was interesting to find out granny knew the whole time."

"Indeed. I can't help but wonder how she knew everything that was going on." Sebastian replied as got Ciel ready for bed.

"Well she was a Phantomhive before she got married." Ciel responded as he got up so Sebastian could remove his pants.

"I can't help but still feel disgusted and used." Sebastian groaned as he pulled Ciel's night shirt over his head. Alittle more rough than usual.

"I think i've learned a lesson as well." Ciel said with aggitation as he climbed into his bed.

Curious, Sebastian responded, "Oh? And what lesson is that young master?"

Ciel smirked evilly, "You make a great woman with a great set of legs." he snickered after, gaining a glare from Sebastian, whom after a moment smirked himself.

"Ah, but I seem to recall the young master made a very find lady himself." he said, then dodged the pillow that was thrown at him. "Now, now young master, let's save the games for later." Then he headed towards the door after tossing the pillow back.

Ciel had one last thing to say before going to sleep, a greater smirk on his face than the last one, "Don't go making out with Bard if front of my door Sebastian."

Sebastian cringed physically before he got to the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shutting the door to Ciel's room, Sebastian made his way down the hall while thinking. "First circumcision, and now complex plans from the elderly....what's next?" he sighed. "Humans are so complicated."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. XP I just wanted to put Sebastian in drag. I think he'd make a really sexy gal. Lol. Fair warning this probably won't be the last time Sebastian is in a dress in any of my stories. XP_

_Please review/critique. XD_


	3. New Candy?

Something New 3

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Sebastian very much enjoyed bringing pain to Bard. Oh yes indeed. Everyday he made him squat down and hold heavy bricks until his was in so much pain that it took him numerous tries to get up. This was his punishment for stealing a kiss from him. Even if he was dressed as a woman, he wanted to nip such a habbit in the bud before Bard became to comfortable with stealing kisses from noble women.

"Sebbbasstian!!" Bard whined as he arms and legs quivered from the heavy load he was holding above his head.

Sebastian was sitting idly in a chair reading a book. He was looking for some new receipes to try out since they'd have to go shopping for groceries soon anyway. So he figured he might as well add any needed ingredients to the list. "No, you you still five minutes." he said not taking is eyes off the pages. Some roasts looked good, but they'd had it so many times before. Flipping a page he came to a section on meatloafs. Another thing he'd made before, but not often.

Finni opened the door to the kitchen slowly and peaked in. His posture was very anxious as he glanced about the room and spotting Sebastian at the small table in the corner. Walking slowly he approached Sebastian, ignoring Bards trembling body. "Sebastian." he squeeked, as he tapped his index fingers together.

"What is it Finni?" he asked, flipping a few more pages. He was starting to think about getting another cookbook since nothing in it was intriguing him.

"Are.....are you going to buy anything special for dinner today?" he asked innocently.

"Maybe, if I can find anything." he said in a bored manner. Only taking a moment to look at his pocket watch. Bard still had two more minutes for his punishment.

Almost as if heaven itself had opened up, Finni became excited, "Then...then can you get me a fresh pineapple?!" his eyes gleaming with joy.

That actually threw Sebastian off, making him blink and look at Finni directly as the book he was holding nearly slipped from his fingers. "A fresh pineapple? Whatever for?" he asked. Finni had the most random requests at times. Of all the servants he confused him the most at times.

"I...I want to eat some fresh pineapple, and since we've never had it before."

It was true that in the Phantomhive manor they'd never purchased a fresh pineapple before as no receipe Sebastian had ever done required it. A reason for that was tropical fruit tended to be very expensive. So Sebastian never bought anything he wasn't going to use. Their food storages were filled with various other fruits, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, tangerines and the like. Some of which he grew himself in a secluded spot in the yard. Away from Finni's destructive habbits of the yard. Thinking for a moment he placed a light fist to his chin. Tapping his index finger against it. "Hmmmm, that sounds intriguing." he said.

"So?....We're going to get one?!" Finni bounced.

"Maybe...if the market has it." he replied. It wasn't a yes, but not a no either. As such Finni cheeered for joy as he ran about the room. 'Pineapple.' Sebastian thought, looking over his cook book again. Flipping through the pages quickly he found a receipe that looked enticing, reading over it and jotting down ingredients he'd need once they went to the market. Closing his book he got up. "Bard to ready the wagon." he said as he left the room.

Bard promptly collasped, dropping the bricks about the floor. "Ah...yes sir.." he said in pain. Bones popping as he got up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian walked into Ciels office after knocking a few times. Ciel gave a low approval for him to come in and he approached the desk. Ciel was practically not visible from his own desk as he was hidden by the piles of paperwork surrounding him. Only the top of his head could be seen from over the large stacks.

Groaning in frustration Ciel got up from his chair and walked around the desk so he could see Sebastian. Sebastian could see how distressed he was over his paperwork. But it was Ciel's fault for taking to much time away from his work that it all piled up. "What is it?" he asked as he scratched his head. A habit of his when he was extremely frustrated.

"I'll be going to the market in a few minutes. Will you be joining us young master?" he asked politely. Glancing at the mountain of paperwork. It seemed the only way it would get done on time would be if he took it upon himself to complete whatever was left after the young master was asleep in bed.

Ciel gave an exasperated sigh as he weighed his options. One hand said if he went it'd take away hours from work, leaving more to possibly be added tomorrow. The other hand held the options of taking a much needed break and getting away from it. Either option left him the paperwork. "No, i'm going to work on this paperwork some more." he decided. He knew it wasn't the smartest idea to be left at home without Sebastian. But if he did otherwise, he'd never see the end of the paperwork.

"I understand." Sebastian bowed. "Oh I might make an additional purchase at the market today."

"Oh?" Ciel looked at Sebastian with interest. In reality he didn't care what Sebastian bought at the market. Sebastian knew what he needed when it came to the grocery list. So Ciel never really bothered keeping an actual budget for the groceries. Though if he had, he wouldn't of had an enormious amount of demon dog snacks that the others had bought. Even if they did use their own money for it.

"Strangely Finni has requested a fresh pineapple. I thought if the market had any i'd acquire one. Not specifically for him of course." he responded. He never bought anything for one specific person. When he got groceries it was usually because when he cooked, everyone was going to eat it. Finni's pineapple request was no exception.

Ciel smirked as Sebastian finished his sentence. A pineapple sounded very tasty. "Cooking anything to use it in?"

"I haven't decided on an official menu for this evening, but if you would like I could find something that calls for it."

"No." he smiled. He remembered reading in a book something the japanese did and he wanted to try it. So this gave him the perfect excuse. Tanaka's japanese style seemed to be rubbing off on him. "Sebastian make sure to get one. But we won't be eatting it today."

"Oh? May I ask why not?" Sebastian tilted his head. It was very rare when Ciel didn't want something to get eatten when it sounded good.

"Make sure to get an asian dinner table while your out as well." he ordered, then returned to his chair.

Sebastian blinked, "Yes my lord."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After getting the table Ciel requested, as well as some sitting pillows. Sebastian was at the local produce stands with Bard and Maylene. He ordered Finni and Tanaka to watch the house and Ciel. Picking up a tasty looking plum he test it for readiness. "Ohhh plums are in season." he said with delight. There was a dessert he'd been wanting to make for a while, but plums hadn't been in season at the time.

"Yes sir, and I guarantee they are freshest you'll find. Just picked today off my very own trees." the vendor responded.

He was an elderly gentleman, though obviously younger than Tanaka. Sebastian liked coming to his particular vendor because he grew all his produce himself. If he didn't he would ensure it was only the freshest available. He never tried to sell nearly rotten produce. If one happened to be in his stock. He'd give a very nice discount on your purchases with a great apology. Not once had Sebastian ever found a piece of rotten produce. And that was why, Sebastian ended up becoming a very loyal customer of his. Though he tried to feign ignorance when Ciel asked him about it. Claiming Sebastian was having a human tendency towards the vendor.

"I'll take all of your plums then." He said as he looked over at the other products. So far his order was tomatoes, carrots, peas in their pods, lettuce, cucumbers, melons, grapes, cherries, potatoes, squash, pumpkin, apricots, almonds, peanuts, and the now added plums. Bard was walking back and forth to carrying everything from the shop to the wagon. He'd send Maylene to another shop to pick up other ingredients such as salt, sugar, cinnamon, etc.. As the Phantomhive manor was a ways from the market, they usually bought in bulk to lesson the trips.

"But of course sir." the man smiled. He liked Sebastian as he was his best customer. He nodded to a younger man to bag his order. Who smiled back and did as such. "Is there anything else you'd like?" he asked.

"Are pineapples in season?" he asked, as he looked over the produce he hadn't purchased yet. The onions looked very fresh. He eyed them while he asked his question.

"Oh? I never thought i'd see you ask for such a thing." he laughed. Even if the purchases were far inbetween he knew Sebastian's orders very well. And a pineapple was not one of them.

"I take it you don't then?" Sebastian asked as he picked up an onion to inspect it.

"That's not it, i'm just surprised you requested something outside your usual requests. Usually when I obtain such a fruit I don't sell it easily you know."

"I see." Sebastian replied as he put the onion down and picked up a yam.

"But I like you so i'm willing to sell you one and give you a nice discount." he said as he nodded to an elderly woman. She nodded as well and walked inside. After a few moments she came back with a pineapple. It was abit large, but it was indeed fresh. "A friend of mine overseas sent me quiet a few. You see. Does it partake in your tastes?" He asked as the woman handed Sebastian the pineapple, allowing him to inspect it further.

"Indeed." he smiled as he felt it's skin poking at his fingers though his gloves.

"Then i'll give it to you as a gift."

"Oh, thank you very much." he replied, then smiled. "I'd also like some onions and yams."

"Of course, of course." the man smiled.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they got home, Bard thought he was going to die. Sebastian had made him work very hard that day. But they finally got all the purchases in and put away in there rightful place. Finni came running into the storage in excitement.

"Did you find it?!" he asked hastily.

"Yes. But we won't be eatting it today." Sebastian replied as he started preparing dinner. He'd put the pineapple on top of the fridge.

Finni's face filled with disappointment, "Awww why not?!" he whinned.

"The young master, wishes for us to wait until tomorrow." he replied as he mixed ingredients that would be applied to the meat he'd purchased. Tonight they would be having sirloin steaks with yams and a side salad. For dessert a plum pie with almonds and cream on top.

"But..but I was the one who asked for it." he whined as he hugged Sebastian's back. Nearly making him drop the bowl he was holding.

Turning he sighed as he hung his free arm limply at his side. "Finni, we're still going to eat it, just tomorrow." he mumbled. He hated it when Finni got whiney. Which was pretty much everyday.

Finni looked up at him with watery eyes, but made no more complaints.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning had for once gone well for Sebastian. Since yesterday Ciel finished the vast majority of his paperwork, and completed the small amount he had left early in the morning. Even with the usual small mishaps from the other servants it was so far turning out to be a good day.

"Sebastian, place that table I had you get near the balcony." Ciel ordered as he was holding a book infront of his face. Apparently he was using it as a reference to a typical japanese home.

"Yes my lord." he bowed.

"Also set up a sheet before placing the table and put it on top of it."

"Yes my lord."

"Hmmm." Ciel stood in thought holding the book in front of himself. Then looking at the spot he wanted to use for this small event. While he was doing that Sebastian did as he was told. Placing the items where Ciel wanted them until he was satisfied. When he was about to place the sitting pillows near the table, Ciel gasped. "Sebastian!" he shouted.

In midstep Sebastian froze, his foot hovering over the sheet that he was about to step on to set up the table. "Yes master?"

"No shoes on the sheet!" he said hastily, sighing in relief that he'd caught him in time.

"Young master I understand your worry, but I guarantee you this isn't one of the best sheets we have." he remarked, he'd made sure to grab a plain tan cotton sheet to use for Ciel's image. He wasn't about to use a perfectly good silk sheet.

Ciel shook his head. "That." He pointed to the sheet. "Is the boundary to which shoes are not allowed, shoes are only allowed outside of it. No one is to wear any inside that boundary."

Sebastian gave Ciel a look that clearly stated your crazy. But kept his mouth silent. So he just tossed the pillows to the spots Ciel wanted them to be at. They landed perfectly in alignment. He wasn't going to remove his shoes over pillows.

Ciel then nodded again when everything was set up. "Now we just need the pineapple."

"If I may, what is this about young master?" he asked as he followed Ciel out of the room. Curiosity getting the better of him as he'd never seen Ciel so adamant about something so trivial as shoes on cloth.

"Nothing. I just wanted to try to eat like another culture would." Ciel responded as he walked into the kitchen. A very rare occurance. Spotting the pineapple he picked it up, hissing when it's skin pricked at his own. Turning it random ways, "How do you cut this thing anyway?"

Sebastian stiffled a laugh at his master's actions. It was indeed a rare moment when Ciel acted his age. Taking the fruit from his master, Sebastian took out a cutting board and a rather large knife from a drawer. After removing his coat and swapping his gloves he set about slicing the pineapples top off then continued by cutting it down the middle. The other servants came and watched with awe as he did it with ease. when he was finished he'd sliced a quarter of it into even triangles, putting the rest away for later use. Finni bounced in excitement. The fruit he wanted to much was ready to be eatten. After going back to the room that'd been prepared, everyone sat around the japanese style table. Sebastian served the fruit on small plates along with some tea. Tanaka looked very much in place at the table.

"It looks so good..." Finni drooled as he couldn't wait to bite into his piece. "We're like a family sitting at a dinner table." he stated after he looked around the table.

"Don't be silly Finni." Bard responded as he took his unlit cigarette from his mouth.

Finni simply ignored him as Sebastian placed his piece infront of him. "Oh...Sebastian aren't you going to have some?" he asked, noting Sebastian was the only one without a plate before him.

"Oh, don't you like pineapple?" Ciel smirked, though no one got the inside joke he hid within it.

Sebastian looked at the last piece and put it on a smaller plate for himself. Glaring at Ciel as he did so. He wasn't really interesting in consuming it.

"Let's take a bite at the same time!" Finni announced, strangely a silent agreement came as everyone picked up their pieces and took a bite at the same time.

The longest silence in the house was at that moment. Sebastian pulled his piece away and tried chewing the bite he had in his mouth. It was hard, crunchy, and very dry. Not at all very sweet. He wondered if maybe he cut it too soon as he tried to swallow it.

Ciel gave a disappointed look himself as he replaced his piece on his dish. "That was disappointing." he said, after he swallowed what he had in his mouth. Though atleast the setup wasn't wasted in the least. He found much comfort on the sitting pillow. Twiddling his toes in his socks behind him.

"I wonder if it was too soon to eat it." Sebastian questioned as he stared at his piece. Other than being very hard, it looked like the pineapples he'd seen that were very sweet in aroma.

"It's not very good." Maylene stated herself, looking at her own as if she had to decided whether or not to finish eatting it.

"I guess we can take comfort in knowing we got it for free atleast." Bard remarked as he put his own half eatten piece on his dish. He thought it was going to be good, so he took a rather large bite out of it.

"Ho....ho....hoo." Tanaka sighed. He was apparently disappointed as well.

Finni's face was filled with gloom, he felt bad since he'd requested it. So he was currently forcing himself to chew his piece to eat it. Even though he really wanted to spit it out.

Sebastian looked at Finni, then slid his plate to you, "Uh...you can have mine." he said as he watched Finni try to endure eatting his own piece still.

Ciel slid his own dish toward Finni as well. "Mine too."

It seemed Sebastian and Ciel were pawning off their slices on Finni. But no one was really laughing about it. Sebastian got up, "I guess that's one fruit we won't be buying again." He said as he walked in his white socks to the food cart with a few empty dishes. Wondering what he should do with the rest of the pineapple in the kitchen.

Bard watched as Finni finished is own piece and picked up the piece Sebastian gave him. Taking a bite, his face was filled with disgust. "Hey Finni, you don't have to finish it if you can't eat it." he said.

Finni swallowed hard, "But I requested it. So the least I can do is eat it." he said, then took another bite. In the back of his mind he was hoping Sebastian would make something to take the flavor from his mouth.

"I guess I can finish my piece in the least." Maylene stated as he picked up her piece again. She was very grateful that Sebastian had cut them so small.

Sebastian came back with some tea and poured everyone a cup. Even taking one for himself to remove the texture in his mouth. Somehow it improved the flavor abit, bringing the sweetness of the pineapple out. This confused him for a moment. When Finni was about to pick up the piece Ciel had given him he snatched it and took a bite.

"Hey!" Finni half whined. Though he was more surpised at Sebastian's action.

Taking a sip of his tea with the pineapple piece in his mouth, he was hit with the sensual flavor in his mouth. It was sweet, but not too sweet and it even made the piece abit easier to chew it. Even Ciel was surprised by his sudden action.

Maylene blushed, "Se..Sebastian indirectly kissed the young master." she said as she put her hands to her cheeks. Not even mentioning that by her logic, Finni would of indirectly kissed Sebastian since he ate his piece.

"That's strange...it tastes...better." he said, surprised that such a small thing could create such a flavor.

Everyone blinked at him, then did the same, Ciel retaking his piece from Sebastian and copying his movements. He too was struck by the sensual flavor of the pineapple being mixed with the flavor of his tea.

"Wow." Bard said as he just finished. "That was delicious. What kind of tea are we having again?"

"Lemon tea." Sebastian said. Then it struck him. 'Of course!' he said in his mind. "The acidity of the lemon must of brought out the flavor of the pineapple." he said as he was coming to his conclusion. It was like candy with every piece.

Though the other's were now enjoying what was left of their pineapples. Sebastian and Ciel had one thought at the same time. A new product for the Funtom company to produce. Now they just had to figure out how to do it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few days Funtom's new pineapple candy had turned out to be a success. Though it took Sebastian many nights to figure out a good receipe for it. Many of the customers enjoyed the taste of real fruit in a glaze covering. The candy was apparently addicting as well since the stores had already sold out on the first day. Though in honestly they weren't sure how well it'd sell so they didn't make much of it to begin with.

"Sebastian." Ciel eyed his butler. For the past few days he'd been acting abit odd.

"Yes my lord?" he replied.

"Come here." he ordered. Blinking Sebastian walked over to the side of Ciel's desk. "Kneel." was his next order. He did as such, waiting for what Ciel wanted him to do. He clearly saw something in Ciel's hand, but he didn't get a good glimpse of it. Ciel put a hand at the nape of his neck, "Endure." was the last thing Ciel said, before shoving the thing into his mouth and clasping his hand over his lips.

It wouldn't of been hard for him to remove Ciel's hands, but he was ordered to endure the concoction in his mouth. At first his eyes were wide with surprise, but then he shut them tightly as the flavor assaulted his tounge. He grab at Ciel's wrist that was covering his mouth, he wanted to remove the hand making him keep the thing in his mouth. He was torn between keeping up with his order, and his instinct to spit out the awful thing his mouth. It tasted horrible! He could honestly say in his mind it was the most disgusting thing he'd ever tasted. He started shifting his head from side to side, but Ciel kept his hand over his mouth. Which wasn't actually needed, but Ciel wanted the assurance he wouldn't spit it out immediately.

The thing in question was hard, and tasted very fowl. Like someone's vomit turned hard, with ash, something burnt and was melting in his mouth. He was sure he was going to vomit at any given moment.

"If something like you won't eat it, it's safe to say humans won't." came Ciel's voice from above him. Then the hand covering his mouth was removed, "You can take it out of your mouth now."

Sebastian spit the thing quickly, "Ecchhttch!!" he responded and started wiping at his tounge quickly to try and remove the horrible flavor. Ciel just smiled as he watched on. Sebastian started hacking a few times. "What was that awful thing?!" He asked while wiping at his lips. Even Bard's cooking tasted better.

"Who knows." Ciel responded as if he were bored. "Lau gave it to me but I wasn't sure if I should try it."

Sebastian glared at Ciel for a moment, then started blinking and waving a hand infront of his face. "My visions fading!" he shouted as he kept waving his hand before his eyes.

"WHAT?!" Ciel shouted back as he jumped from his chair in fright. Sebastian smirked at him after seeing Ciels panicked face. That's when Ciel knew he'd been dupped. "Oie!"

"I'm honored the young master would care about my sight." he teased, picking up the thing that'd been in his mouth prior and eyed it. It was black and oval.

Ciel clicked his tongue. "Who'd care if you went blind." he mumbled as he sat back in his chair.

Sebastian go up and went towards his master. "My, my your not very honest with your feelings are you young master?"

"In anycase, I want you to make a strawberry version of that pineapple candy."

"I already did young master." he replied, holding a small red piece of candy.

Ciel looked at him and reached for it from his palm. But Sebastian promptly pulled his hand away and popped it into his mouth. "Sebastian!!" he yelled as he chewed the confection while smirking at his master.

"Ohhhh it was delicious. Much better than the pineapple ones." he continued to tease.

"Are you going against the contract?!"

Licking his fingers, "Was eatting what I cooked against the contract?" he asked, happy that the treat removed the horrible flavor.

"Ah...eh...I guess not." Ciel replied defeated. But Sebastian's hand appeared before him, another of the candy in his palm. Ciel looked up and saw Sebastian's smile. "You bastard." he stated as he picked it up and ate it. Sebastian went to the side to pour a cup of tea for Ciel. "These are good, possibly a best seller." he compliemented as Sebastian put a cup of tea before him. It was black. "What tea is this?"

"It's my own special blend, I hope you like it young master." he smiled, then started for the door, "I'll take my leave."

"Hey..." Ciel growled, but Sebastian had already left. He eyed the tea for a moment, then took a sip.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian purposefully wanted to leave as quickly as possible after serving Ciel his tea. He couldn't seem to remove his smile from his face even as he walked down the hall. '3....2....1...' he counted in his head.

"SEBASTIAN!!!" Came Ciel's scream in anger.

Ah it was so wonderful to know that disgusting thing would dissintergrate in water. He pulled out his butler's notebook and flipped to the back page where the intitials S and C were separated by a line. "Two for me today, and one for the young master I believe." he marked, making lines to keep score. The S side was in the lead with a total of 72, and the C side with 31. "You'll have to do better than that to prank a demon young master." he stated to himself as he pocketed his book.

If there was one thing he'd learned it was to always be prepared with a sudden call from his master. Though Lau's candy was just an extra when it came to turning it into tea.

"Now if only I could figure out why the young master wanted to eat the pineapple in a japanese setting." He mumbled to himself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_And another lesson is out, though Sebastian only learned that the candy Lau gave Ciel dissintergrates in water XD._

_Comments and Critique appreciated._


	4. EWWW! Warning can be considered gross

Something New 4

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Fair warning: This is not for the squemish at heart._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Ciel looked at the letter in his hand with distain. Apart of him wanted to shred it. But he knew better than to do such a thing. For it was a letter from her highness. And it would be disrespectful to do it. There was a knock on his door. "Come in."

"I've brought the days dessert young master. An apple cobbler with vanilla ice cream on top." Sebastian stated as he served the confection. And started working on the tea. When he turned he was abit surprised that not even a single bite had been taken from it. "Young master is something the matter?" he asked as he placed the tea before his master.

"Here." he handed Sebastian the letter. A very rare thing for him to do.

Sebastian took it and skimmed over the contents. "Oh so we'll be having a guest? I don't see why this upsets you though."

"It's not at having a guest, it's who the guest is."

"The Duke Chester. He's known for being very honorable. I don't understand why this upsets you so."

"It's not him exactly, it's his son that I distain."

"Oh?"

"There's something about him that rubs me the wrong way."

Sebastian raised a brow. "So....you don't even have a reason to dislike him I presume?" It was very rare for his master to show such dislike to someone without just cause.

"He smells." Ciel stated.

"Huh?"

"He has a smell."

"Young master thats not a good reason to dislike someone, i'm sure your just not fond of his cologne."

"I don't know what it is but it's not cologne. And he's weird."

"Weird?"

"You'll see. He's so weird, even you as a demon won't want to be near him."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later the Duke and his son arrived. Sebastian so far had not seen anything peculiar about the Duke's son, but he figured it was his master being childish and showing his true age. The Dukes son, who he found his name was Randall, wasn't even near his master's age. He was atleast in his 20's, with blonde hair, neatly trimmed, green eyes, and showed himself to be a good noble. The only thing he didn't like was the overwhelming scent of cigars on his and his fathers person. It was like they took great lengths to arrive smelling of cigars. He could honestly say he preferred Bards smell of cigarettes at this point. After supper he busied himself with cleaning various rooms while his master spoke with the Duke. His son decided to get some air and was walking somewhere on the grounds. He felt a presence behind him, 'The cigar smell, the son.' he thought as he pretended he hadn't noticed. But he nearly jumped when arms wrapped about his waist. Stopping his movement in wiping down the table. He turned and looked at him stunned.

Laying his head on Sebastian's shoulder, Randall had a dreamy look on his face. "Hello there."

Sebastian blinked at him and lifted a brow, "Is there something you need?" he asked abit annoyed. He didn't like the fact that he was being held, or the look in the man's eyes. It reminded him of Grell.

Moving a hand up he crossed it on Sebastian's right shoulder and shoved his face under Sebastian neck and breathed. Sebastian cringed visibly and shoved him away. "You smell lovely..Sebastian was it?"

Sebastian glared at him but said nothing. He felt like he needed a long shower.

"Pardon me for being rude, it's just i've never smelt such a lovely scent before. What is it?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean since i'm not wearing cologne." he replied. Sighing abit in relief. 'Perhaps it was a misunderstanding on my part.' he thought. Humans were strange creatures to him still, even though he's lived with them for a few years now. But he's seen that each one is different, some even more complex than the other. But the need for a shower hadn't lifted.

Randall took a few steps to close the gap between them and touched Sebastian's hair and leaned in to sniff at it. Making Sebastian's comfort level drop even more that what it had been. Randall smiled, "It smells like sweets, like chocolate."

"I was baking." he replied and stepped away from him and made sure some furniture was between them. He was very sure his master would appreciate a bloody mess of the Dukes son.

"Oh?...So you bake..very unusual for a butler." Randall kept his eyes on him. But he didn't move from where he was.

Sebastian turned to leave, and hoped his master wouldn't be too upset at him for being rude towards a guest. But he doubted it as well since his master wasn't very fond of the man either.

"Don't go, i'm just making conversation."

"I'm sorry but I must return to my duties." he opened the door and walked out of the room without turning back. Hurrying down the hall to lengthen the distance between them. He was glad that he wasn't being followed. He saw his master and the Duke down the hall.

"Oh, Sebastian, have you seen my son?" The Duke asked him politely. A very ususual thing for someone of high class to do.

"He's in the billiard room sir." he responded. Ciel smirking abit at him as if he knew what happened prior to his arrival.

"Well then Earl i'll take my leave now. I'm tired and require rest." He waved and left towards the room indicated.

"So seem shaken, something happen?" Ciel asked, the smirk still on his face.

"Shaken? No. Annoyed yes."

"Called it whatever you want, but it's obvious something happened with how fast you were talking down the hall."

Clenching a fist, "You were right, that man is weird."

"I told you."

Sebastian sighed, "Okay..I was wrong..wrong, wrong wrong! Happy?!"

"Very." Ciel smiled.

Sebastian just glared at his master, he knew he wasn't going to live this one down for quiet a while. After Ciel walked away, he pulled out his book and flipped the the page and put a line on his masters side. "A win for you today."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian did his best to keep away from Randall during the duration of his stay, if he sensed he was coming towards him, he'd leave before he could be caught. Though he didn't like that alot of his chores were only partially done because of it. He felt his master call him in his mind and went to his office. "You called young master?"

"I need you to do something for me." Ciel responded.

But Sebastian tensed abit as he felt Randall was nearing the room. "...Oh?" he looked towards the door.

"The Duke and I are coming to an agreement to the terms for the request of the Queen. So i'll need you to work on the documents for the preparation of the final terms."

Sebastian felt Randall was just outside the door. "Of course." His eyes watched at the doorknob turned.

"Are you listening?"

He looked back to his master, "Of course young master. When will you need this done?"

"With in the hour."

The door opened and Randall stepped through. "Oh i'm sorry. Am I disturbing you?" he stated, the smiled when he saw Sebastian in front of the desk.

"We've just finished for now." Ciel responded, but was annoyed that Randall hadn't been mannerful in his arrival.

Randall seemed to take this as a signal of some sort as he walked to Sebastian and grabbed at his face and pulled him to himself. He shoved his nose into his hair and breathed in. Removing one had to hold him at the waist again.

Sebastian and Ciel were in utter shock that he'd just done it so casually. Sebastian was stunned to the point of not moving. Ciel's mouth hung agap. When he was finished he smiled even more. "You smell of strawberries today." he stated.

"Randall, i'll ask that you keep your hands to yourself." Ciel stated, finding his voice finally.

"I apologize Earl, but your butler just has such a lovely scent about him. He's like a variety of candies." he stated as he slowly let go. Sebastian felt like another shower was in order again. Even as he fixed his uniform.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'The final day.' Sebastian thought with glee in his mind. He couldn't wait til Randall was gone. He'd been avoiding even going near the room to clean it. But he did notice something strange. "Maylene whats wrong?"

Maylene was blushing profusely during the whole time Randall had been there. She'd twiddled her fingers, "Ummm...."

"Well?"

"Uhh...See..I.."

He started tapping his foot as he waited for her response. But she did something she norminally didn't do. She stepped close to him and tip toed to his ear. Whispering what she wanted to say. His eyes grew wide, almost double their normal size and his mouth fell open. He was shocked. Completely shocked. "THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!" he shouted after a moment. And stepped away from her. She was blushing even more. And looked abit sick. "I think the Young Master should know this." he stated.

"Wait!!" Maylene shouted grabbing at his arm. "It's too embarassing!"

Sebastian sighed in annoyance. "Even so something must be done." He pulled his arm free and headed towards Ciel's office, Maylene following him, very embarassed. He slammed open the door, making Ciel jump.

"Sebastian! What do you think your doing?!"

"Young master we need to talk. Now!" he shouted back. Not caring at the moment he was over stepping his bounds. He pulled Maylene into the room and slammed the door shut, then locked it.

"What's going on?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bard and Finnian had seen how upset Sebastian had looked. The fact that Maylene was following him in tow said something was up. So they tried to listen in at the door once it'd be closed. They couldn't hear very well. Only catching a few words here and there. It wasn't until Ciel shouted. That they understood something was going on that probably shouldn't of happened.

"WHAT?!" Came Ciel's shout from behind the door.

At first they thought, maybe Sebastian had gotten Maylene pregnant. But soon it became apparent that it wasn't so.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" Ciel shouted a moment later. "HOW DARE HE ASK SUCH A THING IN MY HOUSE!!"

"I wonder what happened?" Finni asked.

"I wish I knew but it seems bad." Bard replied.

"Ho, ho. ho."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ciel hurried down the hall toward Randall's room. He was disgusted, revolted, and very much so angry. "I can't believe it was worse that I thought. He's not allowed in my house again!" he vented. "He's sick..Sick!!"

Sebastian followed behind Ciel, with the others following them, mostly out of curiosity. He briefly wondered if he was going to be ordered to throw him out of the house. Which he would not of minded. Even if he couldn't hurt him, tossing him out would sate his anger abit.

Once they'd arrived, Ciel swung open the door and was shocked to find Randall was gone. He looked about the room and held his nose as there was a revolting smell coming from the room.

Sebastian held his nose. "Bard open the widows!" he shouted, he was having a hard time wanting to step into the room. Then saw the note on the table. "It seems Randall has left to visit his mother." he stated. Trying to prevent himself from gagging.

"Good. He's never allowed here again! Guhhhh!! Where's that smell coming from?!" Ciel gagged.

Finni looked around the room and checked under the bed. "It's not coming from here." he stated, then ran to the window to get some air.

"It reaks!!" Bard shouted. Making sure all the windows were open. "I'm surprised the wallpaper isn't tearing off the walls!"

Maylene opened the closet and shouted, "OH MY GOD!!" and stepped away from it very quickly.

Everyone looked at her and cautiously walked to it. "EEEEEWWWW!!!" they all shouted at the same time. In the closet was droppings. Obviously from a human. And they were wrapped in the spare sheets to the bed.

"Sebastian clean that up!" Ciel ordered.

"No way!!" he shouted back.

"Are you going against my orders?" Ciel asked.

"Yes! I'm not touching that! Maylene your the maid you clean it!" Sebastian shouted unlike himself.

Maylene shook her head hastily, "Nooo, Bard you clean it!"

"What? I'm the chef i'm cleaning it! Finni you clean it! Your used to touching manure!"

"Nooo! It's too gross!!!" he whined.

"Sebastian! Clean it now! It reaks!" Ciel shouted.

Sebastian stepped away and shuddered. "No thank you! I'm not touching someone else's droppings!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A shovel, a wagon, and a rake later, Bard and Sebastian had gotten the disgusting sheet out of the closet and Sebastian made Bard take it to get burned. He wasn't even going to try to salvage the sheet. He'd mostly made Bard scoop it while he held the shovel as far away from himself as he could. Both were disgusted. After which he made Maylene clean the closet throughly. They were all wearing masks to keep the smell to a tolerable level.

"Disinfect the whole room." Sebastian ordered. Then stepped out to get some fresh air. Today was the worst day of his life he said to himself. After taking a few large breaths he stepped back into the room and with help from Bard and Finni, had the sheets removed from the bed, and the mattress to have it burned. Though he just supervised, he wasn't about to touch anything. The other complained throughout the whole thing. Stating he was over stepping his authority. Luckily for him it only took three hits to the head per person and his small lecture that he was the boss to get them back on track. Though he didn't hit them very hard, if he could he'd just burn the whole room and end it. But his master wouldn't let him.

Ciel just laughed at them from outside the room. Enjoying the show. Especially how his demon butler was acting over it. "Make sure you all get throughly cleaned before you touch anything."

"I think i'm going to need to shower for a week to get the smell out." Bard whined. "I'll probably have to burn my own clothes too." he whiffed at them. Then gagged.

"Young master you need to say no sometimes." Sebastian stated above his station. Ciel just laughed at him.

"Aww are you upset over your sexual harassment?" he asked smirking.

"Sexual harassment?" Bard repeated abit confused. "What sexual harassment?" he smiled, rather enjoying Sebastian was finally getting picked on for once.

"None of your business!" he shouted then smacked him over the head to emphasize his point.

"Sebastainnn!!!" Finni started whining.

"What?" he asked in a tone that clearly showed he just wanted the day to be over.

"What am I going to do?! All the stuff I use for gardening is too gross now!!"

"So?...Wash it." he raised a brow.

"But it has human poopy on it!!!" he cried.

Sebastian sighed exhausted, it seemed like he'd never get a break today. "Here, just go...." he handed Finni some money to buy some new gardening tools. He didn't want to hear anymore whining.

"Sebastian go take a shower so I can have my snack." Ciel ordered a smile still on his face.

Sebastian's eye twitched, until he suddenly smiled for an unknown reason.

"What are you thinking? Sebastian...Sebastian! SEBASTIAN!!" Ciel shouted when he was suddenly picked up and tossed into the room. Sebastian promptly closed the door and windows and locked the door.

"SEBASTIAN YOU BASTARD OPEN THIS DOOR!! IT STINKS IN HERE!!"

The others just looked at him in shock as he looked at his white gloves like he couldn't hear a thing.

"OPEN THIS DOOR NOW YOU IDIOT!! THIS IS AN ORDER!!"

Sebastian just leaned against the wall, "I seem to have abit of problems with my hearing as of late. Could you say that again?"

The others started giggling abit finding it moderately funny. But they were sure if they laughed out loud they'd be in trouble. Though it was uncertain why they didn't think to unlock the door themselves.

After 10 minutes he let his master out who promptly kicked him in the shin, though he didn't feel it. "Young master your in dire need of a bath you reak." he waved his hand by his nose.

"You bastard! I'll kill you!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once everyone was throughly bathed and had clean clothes on, and stayed away from the room. Got their snacks and had a very late dinner, everyone seemed to be calm and collected.

"If you all have time to sit around get back to your jobs!" Sebastian shouted moments later. Making the others jump and run off.

"Ha, ha, ha, Earl you butler seems very capable. It must be wonderful to have such great help." Duke Chester smiled.

"Indeed. Though Duke...about your son...."

"I heard what happened. I'm certainly appauled by it. I'll besure to discuss the matter with him immediately as soon as I see him."

"As soon as you see him?" Ciel raised a brow as Sebastian gave him a cup of tea.

"I don't know where he ran off to. I'm sure he didn't want to be caught. But don't worry Earl, once I find him i'll take care of it."

"Please do."

"I'll also pay for the sheets, a new closet and everything else he....shall we say damaged?"

"See that you do." Ciel stated. It was the worst. Sebastian had given him a through scrub down, nearly tearing off his skin, he was a lovely shade of pink once he was done.

"I'd also like to apologize to your maid and butler. My son is a falanthropist you see. And doesn't hold back when he sees someone he likes."

Sebastian shuddered at the thought of the duke's son hitting on him. It was bad enough he had Grell to contend with. He didn't need another one. His only consolation was that Maylene went through some of what he did. But now that he thought about it, she probably had it worse. The thing that she'd been asked to do was beyond appauling, it was just plain sick. Even other demons would never go so far for something as that for a turn on. He shuddered again as he placed a teacup before the Duke. Before he had even removed his hand from the saucer his hand was grabbed. Making him blink in surprise.

The Duke brought Sebastian's hand closer to his face, much like a gentleman would to a lady when he was about to kiss her hand. "Though I can see the appeal for one such as yourself." he smiled, then kissed his hand. Making Sebastian get goosebumps and became very greatful for his gloves.

"Duke Chester..." Ciel said with annoyance.

Not letting go of Sebastian's hand. "I apologize Earl, but he's really a stunning individual. I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life." he pulled to get Sebastian into his lap, causing him to drop the teapot on the carpet.

"If you please!!" he shouted as he tried to shove his prying hands away. He only hoped his master wouldn't be so harsh with him later if he happened to rip off one of the man's arms. Then he saw the lips coming towards him, making him want to retch. But luckily he'd had a dessert that he was going to cut nearby. He picked it up and smashed it into the Duke's face, gaining him a much needed escape route. He jumped from his lap and stood behind where his master sat. Not out of fear. Only to put something between them to keep grabbing hands away.

"How dare you treat me as though I were a commoner?!" the Duke sputtered as he wiped the pie off his face. "Do you know how many would love to bed with me?! You should feel honored i'm willing to even look in your direction!"

"Duke Chester, you've over stayed your welcome here." Ciel stated with venom. He couldn't believe that the Duke would even go so far as to try something like that even in front of him.

"How dare you speak to me like that Earl?! I'll ensure the Queen hears of this...this..disrepect you given me." he finished wiping his face off. "Though I may be inclined to forgive and forget with a night with your butler." he glaced at Sebastian with lust.

Ciel and Sebastian could now see where Randall got his ways. It seemed the Duke was not so honorable after all. "Get out of my house!" Ciel shouted, enraged that the Duke would even state such a thing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Bard had "Shown" the Duke the door. Ciel went on a rant that could only be deemed as a child's tantrum. He would of had Sebastian throw him out, but the Duke probably would of enjoyed it.

"Ahhh..the dessert I made had gone to waste. I apologize young master of wasting it so hastily." Sebastian stated as he cleaned up. Luckily the tea pot hadn't broken in the fall. Though more than half the pot had gone to waste as he soaked the carpet.

Ciel collasped onto the sofa near the couch where Sebastian was cleaning, his anger spent after a long venting session. "It's fine. I'm more surprised you didn't use a fork to stab him."

"I wasn't really thinking on it young master. I just sort of...grabbed the first thing I saw."

"How very human of you." he replied. "An adults world is disgusting. I'm not sure I want to grow up anymore." he sighed.

"Young master I can assure you most adults do not condone such behavior."

"I can't believe he even thought to ask to bed with you after. Disgusting."

Sebastian shuddered again as he picked up the dishes and put them on the cart. "Indeed."

"If I was going to have anyone bed with you it'd most certainly be part of a business deal." Ciel smirked.

Sebastian looked at his master in shock for a moment, then smiled himself very evilly, "Oh but i'm sure if that happened i'd completely forget how to cook desserts."

"...Was that a threat?" Ciel raised a brow.

"Of course not. I'm just saying that I do tend to be very forgetful of things." he opened his eyes keeping a smile on his face, "When forced to do something that is beyond the expectations of the contract."

"Pft, I wouldn't have you bed with people for buisness deals you idiot." he scoffed. "That'd make me no better than the Duke and his son."

"I'm so happy, that the young master cares for my well being so much." he stood beside his master.

"Diseases are easily spread through such things."

Sebastian just blinked at his master. Then raised a brow, "Now where...did you learn that?" he asked. He was very sure he'd never had "The Talk" with his master on that subject. He'd taken great lengths to ensure his master wasn't adversed on it as well.

Ciel's eye widden when he realized what he said. Then sat up straight, "N...none of your business!" he shouted, then ran out the room quickly.

Sebastian just stood stunned for a moment, the scoffed. "It seems the young master is keeping secrets from me." Though he could guess where his master learned such a thing. Bard wasn't exactly very good at hiding his adult material from prying eyes. If there was one thing Sebastian did learn today. It was that humans, especially males, were intense perverts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Apart of me doesn't feel like this chapter was very magificant or anything, but parts made me laugh so I kept it. I rewrote it like...2 times. So I hope it wasn't boring for anyone. Like I said earlier *ie beginning of the chapter* I don't think this was for someone with a weak stomach. So I hope those who did read it weren't too disgusted. I'm really should limit my movie watching lol._

_Reviews appreciated. See you all in the next chapter. Which I should have out soon._


	5. You want me to watch what? Boring maybe?

Something New 5

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_If you've ever had a home ec class or similiar you know the feeling. _

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Sebastian held the object infront of him as if he was about to drop it into the trash can. He stared at it with a brow raised, then looked back at Frances who had her arms crossed and was smiling. The others weren't exempt from this either, they each had their own and were holding theirs with equal confusion. His master just had his on his desk and looked like he wanted to say something to his aunt, but knew it would be futile.

"So as you all can see i'm going to ensure your all very throughly trained for this." She stated leaving no room for arguement as usual. Everyone could tell she was throughly enjoying this.

"Aunty i'm 13, it's not necessary for me to learn this stuff yet." Ciel tried.

"I'll have you know when I was 13 I was very adversed on the subject. And as the fiance of my daughter I expect you to be knowledgeable as well as your servants on this matter."

"But aunty!!"

"No buts! Now you all have your..children and I expect you all to take very good care of them."

Sebastian just looked back to his newly acquired "child". Though in reality it was an egg in a small basket which the Marchioness identified as the crib. He couldn't help but see the irony of it to a point. Though he'd much rather she'd just used a real child.

"Now remember if you break them, or try to get a new egg and pass it by me, you fail and you'll have to do it again."

"Marchioness, if I may, I don't really think using an egg is suitible for such...practices." he tried.

"An egg is the perfect choice, because if you break it, it means no dead children." she stated, looking towards the other servants at a side glance.

Sebastian knew what she meant, "But as a butler i'm sure I could get a nanny for when the time comes when the young master has a child of his own."

"And what will you do if the child is sick and the nanny is gone? Common sense must be implemented starting today! No relying on nannies!" she pointed at him. "Now name your babies, and the gender on this card. I've put my own special stamp on each egg to keep fraud out of your minds!" she stated as she gave each one a card.

Sebastian still looked like he was going to toss the egg in the trash as he held it at a distance from himself, and held the card in the other hand. 'Humans are so unusual.' he thought as he placed the egg on Ciel's desk. He stared as his master was actually filling out the card hastily and handed it back to his aunt.

Taking his card he filled it out without really thinking on it.

_Name: Phan_

_Gender: Male_

_Hair: Brown_

_Eyes: Brown_

Once he finished he just gave Frances the card and she looked it over and raised a brow.

"....Phan?" she questioned.

"I just took the first four letters of the name Phantomhive." he smiled. The others actually looked like they were actually putting a thought into the names of their "babies." He glanced at Ciel's baby card. His child's name was Tom. He snickered abit. Phan and Tom, it seemed they both didn't really care to give the eggs a good name so long as it had one. If nothing else to please the Marchioness.

"....I won't have everyone choosing boys!" She shouted suddenly and crossed off something on his card and flashed it at him. "You now have a baby girl, and her name is Fran."

"...Then what was the point in me naming it if you were going to change it anyway?" he raised a brow.

"Honestly men have no sense in these matters. Thank goodness you don't have a child now. It'd probably be name bird or something ridiculous again."

"Again? I don't have any children." he stated in his own defense. He might of had fun a few times but he always made sure no child would come of it. He didn't want any, it wasn't his preference. The fact that his master was a child made him want kids even less. Though as a demon if he didn't like his child he could always eat it. Which apparently was frowned upon by humans. He just didn't understand that logic. If you didn't like your child why keep it?

"Or do you? You could be hiding something! You look like the type of man who'd have atleast three kids by now!" she pointed at him.

Sebastian blinked at her accusation. "If we're going to argue this i'd say Bard is a good one for such accusations."

"Hey!! I'll have you know that I may or may not have kids! I've never once been contacted about anything like that...even though last week the girl at the bakery gave me a weird look that I had relations with about a month ago...." he swayed abit towards the end. "OMG I MIGHT BE A DADDY!!!" he shouted then grabbed Sebastian "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!" he cried.

".....Stop that." Sebastian shoved him off. He knew very well that the girl in question wasn't pregnant with Bards baby. She was pregnant way before that. Atleast a good month. But he wasn't about to tell him that. He'd just let him sweat it for a while. Though it did surprise him that Bard had done such a thing.

"Ahem....anyway, you will all take care of your babies over the course of one week. Break them and you will keep doing it over and over, until you get it right." Frances stated, "Now make sure you do everything your supposed to do. Or i'll make you do it again." she started walking towards the door.

Ciel lifted up his basket towards Sebastian, "Here."

"Young master?"

"You take of it, and don't break it."

Frances poked her head back into the room. "Oh and no passing your eggs off to Sebastian...Ciel." she smirked then left the room again.

Sebastian just smiled as Ciel scowled.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian had to say that Bard, Finni and Maylene lasted alot longer than he thought they would. 5 minutes. It was a whole record for them. Of course Frances was ready with new eggs. Making them start over.

She walked behind him, "Sebastian your baby's crying!" she shouted. Handing him his egg. He held it to his shoulder and patted it, feeling stupid. "Awww isn't that sweet your baby burped." she teased then left.

He promptly put his egg in it's basket. Looking at it with distain. It wasn't bothering him too much. But he didn't like being disturbed every 20 minutes.

"Sebastian your baby needs a diaper change!" she shouted, handing him a small paper diaper. He rolled his eyes and "changed' his babies diaper. "Don't forget the baby powder or your baby will chaffe." she smiled.

He took the salt and "powdered' his babie's bottom. Frances had missed him using salt though. It was a symbol of his promise to eat the egg later.

"Very good, it seems your the only one with experience in this...matter."

"If I couldn't do this as the Phantomhive butler, i'd bring shame to the Phantomhive name." he replied. Then they heard a loud, "OH GOD NOOO!!!" coming from outside the door.

"It's seems my nephew broke his egg."

"It seems so." he smiled. Ciel had broken a total of three eggs in the past 5 hours.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days turned out to be very interesting, the others were finally managing not to break their eggs. Though they were all extremely tired as the Marchioness ensured they were awoken at the randomest of times. For Sebastian it wasn't a problem as he just pretended he'd just woken up at those random times before she got there to take care of his egg.

So now he was making breakfast. The other servants were wandering in the room, sluggishly, pretending to grab bottles as Frances followed suit with her arms crossed. They "bottle feed" their babies sluggishly, but surprisingly they didn't drop their eggs. Sebastian mixed the contents of the pan as he grabbed some ground ginger and put a dash into the pan. It was atleast 4 am, about 2 hours earlier than when the servants had to be up. Since Frances kept waking them up anyway, he decided to make a dish that required time to make. He'd found a delictible dish he'd always wanted to try out.

"Sebastian.." Frances tapped her foot.

"Yes Marchioness?" he replied, not looking from the pan, he didn't want the food he was preparing to burn.

"Here." she placed his egg on his shoulder. "Your baby is crying."

He sighed and patted the egg, holding it on his shoulder as he mixed the contents in the pan. He placed a fish into the pan while patting his egg.

"Sebastian!" she shouted in his ear, making him jump in surprise nearly dropping his egg to the floor, luckily he caught it just as it almost landed. He looked at her aggrivated.

"Just making sure your keeping on your toes." she smiled.

'Your eatting this egg once it's over.' he promised in his mind. Making a note to make sure it'd never go into the fridge.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At around lunch Sebastian had seen enough eggs to decide that if he could just use what she had in stock maybe she'd give up her attempt to teach them parenting skills with eggs. Todays lunch was going to be egg omelettes with fruit on the side. "Bard hand me those eggs." he ordered.

Bard opened the fridge, "Yeah, yeah." he bantered as he grabbed the eggs. Including the one in a small basket marked with an S on it's bow. Not noticing that he'd grabbed it from the basket instead of the egg holder. Luckily Sebastian noticed this.

"Bard becareful with what your grabbing." he snatched his child egg back and put it back in it's basket. "If I have to start over it'll be your head." making sure to move the basket to the counter away from anything that involved cooking. He went to work in using the eggs for the omlettes and making rather large cake. No egg was left when he was finished. Smiling at his work he turned to grab some plates when he noted something that actually made him sweat. His egg was gone. "Bard where's my egg?" he asked trying to remain calm.

"Didn't you put it on the counter?" he mumbled as he cut the bread into slices.

"It's not here..." he started to panic. Opening various cabinets and drawers. "Bard this isn't funny, give it back."

"What are your talking about? I didn't touch your stupid egg. I've got my own problems with mine." he whined, then patted his own egg. Pretending to burp it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian ran everywhere in the house looking for his egg. Someone had to of taken it as he and Bard were busy in the kitchen.

"Sebastian...where's your egg? You didn't leave it alone did you?" Frances asked as he entered the library.

"Ummm it's fine. I'm just...looking for the young master. Lunch will be served in a few moments." he was sweating even more now.

"I see, then I shall proceed to the dining room then." She got up.

"Yes Marchioness." he replied then left before she could have him take her there. He had a feeling his master was not going to let him live it down if he found out he'd made a mistake and lost his egg. "Where are you Fran?!" he whispered as he lifted a bedsheet to see if someone hid his egg there. Not noticing that he'd call it by it's given name instead of simply the egg.

He'd quickly given his master and the Marchioness their lunch before proceeding to search for his egg again. Panic was evident on his features as he nearly dropped the dishes in his haste.

"Is something wrong Sebastian." She asked as she sipped her tea with a smile.

"Nothing." he stated as he closed the lid to the cake. He was seeing if his egg was there.

"You seem to be worried about something. Where's your egg?"

"She's in the fridge sleeping." he was sweating even more now. Never had he made such a blunder. As stupid as the training was he still wanted to do it to perfection. He'd never live it down if his master beat him. He'd just die if the other servants beat him. He could already see Bard being smug at him.

Frances smiled as she brought her teacup to her lips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He couldn't believe it. No matter where he looked he just couldn't find the egg. He was sure if he was a human he'd be having a complete panic attack right now. He was repremanding himself for turning his back on it for a few minutes. He couldn't believe that in those few minutes something that didn't even have legs could disappear so fast. He couldn't cheat and take one of the others eggs either. Each person had a specific color. His egg was marked with a red symbol. He put a thumb to his mouth as he bit on his nail through his glove. Making a decision he walked to where the Marchioness was.

"What is it?" she asked as she put her book in her lap.

Bowing low he hoped she wouldn't make too much of a fuss. "Forgive me Marchioness."

"My whatever for?"

"It seems the egg you'd given me has been misplaced." he could already hear the yelling even though she hadn't said anything yet.

"I see. And how long as it been missing?"

"Since before lunch was served."

"I see...and your barely saying something now..."

"I apologize. I was looking for it during this whole time."

"Hmmm, I see." she smiled. Then lifted a small basket from her side. He looked up as he saw her hand move. It was the egg he'd been looking for.

"Ah!' he was shocked. He couldn't believe she'd had it. And wondered briefly if she'd found it or taken it.

"Let this be a lesson to you Sebastian, don't turn your back on your children, they can get kidnapped, or walk away." she teased him, handing him his basket back.

"I understand Marchioness." he stated as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Butler or not, a child is not something that can take a back seat."

"Yes Marchioness." he stated as he looked at her. "If I may...how did you get it?"

She smiled cunningly, "Oh that? I just waited until your back was turned and saw what you were doing with my spare eggs. Next time don't decide to waste all my back up eggs."

"You knew?" he was surprised.

"Of course. You think I didn't see the frustration you had on your face for constantly having to clean up dropped eggs?" she replied, her smile still evident.

"Egg really isn't as easy to get out of the carpet as it looks."

"I know...but seeing your face when one was there was one was priceless."

"......You dropped some on purpose didn't you?" he glared at her.

"Like I said Sebastian, you have to keep on your toes."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For him it was nearly over, but with his experience of loosing the egg for a few hours the few days before he'd become exceedingly protective of it. He didn't even turn his back on it for a single second. He still didn't understand the whole concept of using an egg as a child substitute, but he could honestly say he'd learned a lesson in parenting. Though he was still pretty sure he'd eat his own child if he didn't want it. But now he knew he had abit more patience for it. He did have a new view on children. They were even more evil when they were babies. Thus making him even more grateful that his master was atleast a child when they'd met.

"I'm pretty proud of you Sebastian you only needed one egg throughout the whole week." Frances praised him. Something he felt was a once in a life time thing that was going to happen. "I hope this experience will last your lifetime." she put the newspaper down on the table as she sipped her tea.

'I'd rather it didn't. I'm hoping to forget.' he thought as he smiled. "Thank you for your praise Marchioness."

"If I may what happened to your egg after I said you didn't need to do it anymore." she asked as he place a piece of cake before her. It was full of fruit and was warm. She took a bite and moaned at how delicious it was. It melted her in mouth like butter.

He smiled at her, "let's just say she....graduated and has moved out on her own to see the world."

Her eyes widened as she pulled the fork from her lips and stared at her piece of cake. "You didn't...."

"I guess you'll see her again in 3 to 6 hours from now." he smiled evilly as he put his fingers tips together and patted them.

"You didn't learn a damn thing did you?!" she shouted at him, getting out of her chair as if she was about to hit him. Ciel just smiled as he watched his aunt in action. Though because of it he wasn't about to eat his slice of cake. As good as it looked he didn't want to risk getting sick from an egg that spent more time out of the fridge than in it. Though the fruit seemed okay.

"That's not true. I learned eggs are bad substitutes for children. But make great cakes and omelettes." he smiled. "Next time i'll make sure to make a nice plate of biscuits."

"You bastard...." she growled. "If I get sick your taking care of me!" she pointed at him. "Prepare for the worst week of your life!"

"Awww but what am I gonna do when your better?" he teased. Earning him a tossed napkin, which he caught easily and proceeded to leave the room, even as Ciel was trying to prevent himself from laughing.

She glared at him even as he left. He heard his master following him from behind and stopped. "Yes young master?"

"So what did you do with the egg that you had to...raise." he asked bluntly.

"Oh that? I threw it away." he smiled.

"...What was with that she'll see it in 3 to 6 hours crap then?!"

"I never said it was the egg I used for this experience." his smile grew even more.

"Ahhh...wait..she said your egg..." he replied as he held onto his small basket. Since he'd failed to last the week he still had abit more time to go on his egg.

"Ah that...well we do have our own chickens young master. You didn't think i'd really make someone eat that egg did you? It'd gone bad. A person can get sick if an egg is used after it's been out for a while."

"You never know with you."

"I'm hurt. I'd never do something like that without the young masters permission." he pretended to be tearful.

"...Anyway all of this has made me think abit...."

Sebastian raised a brow. "Hmmm?" Humans always made him curious, and his master was known for surprising him sometimes with his random questions.

Fiddling with his basket Ciel looked to be in great thought. "Let's say...Lizzy and I had a baby...and well...it was...how can I put it?...Born weird....what would you do?"

"Huh?" he tilted his head in confusion. He wasn't really getting what his master meant by born weird.

"Let me try something else. Let's say you had a baby with a girl demon...and well the baby was born with..uhh...we'll say some sort of disorder. What would you as a demon do?"

"Ahhh...well young master as a demon if my own child wasn't up to my standards i'd eat it." he stated bluntly, no humor in his voice what so ever.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Ciel couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Of course. As a demon i'd rather my child be born of my standards though i'd honestly probably eat it if it annoyed me enough."

".....I don't know what to say to that..."

"Young master as a demon I find it hard to understand that you humans don't eat your own children if they had a deformity or annoyed you."

"Ah? How is that confusing?"

"Well by all means there are some humans who i've seen eat their children. So i'm not understanding how in some societies it's frowned upon."

Ciel's eyes grew twice there size, "Eat..their kids? That's canabolism!"

Sebastian just shrugged. "I find that to be more realistic than tolerating it."

"...You have a strange mind..but now I have a new question.."

"Oh?"

"Going back to Lizzy and me having a child. If it was deformed and I didn't want it would you eat it?"

"Only if the young master let me."

"...Your disgusting."

"I'm just being honest young master."

Ciel sighed as he put a hand to his head. "Do me a favor..."

"Yes young master?"

Holding out his basket, "Take care of this for me."

"No."

"Come on..just for a few hours."

"No. The Marchioness made it clear you had to do it yourself. I'm done with babysitting eggs. The next thing I babysit better have arms, legs, and a face."

"I'm your master, do as I say!"

"No."

"Sebastian..." Ciel growled, as he clentched his fist.

"I had to suffer and as my master you should set an example to your servants."

Ciel growled even more but deep down he knew Sebastian was right. Even when it came down to his demon habits in the end Sebastian did do the stupid task.

"Now go eat your dessert." he pushed his master gently. Smiling as his master tried to smack his hands away. When he saw his master re enter the room he walked down the hall and downstairs to his own room. He shut the door and locked it, smiling as he did so. "Humans i'll never understand them." he stated to himself as he picked up a book and laid on his belly on his bed. Propping his head on his hand. "Ewww that's gross." he stated after reading something in the book. "How can a human throw away the placenta? It should be eatten and reguritated to the baby for nutrients." he continued as he flipped a page. He had a pile of books on babies on his desk some opened to random pages. "Human babies are complicated." he sighed as he read on. He was glad he was male after reading another book. He'd seen a book with pictures of a woman giving birth in explicit detail in each scene and he wanted to throw up. The top priority on his list was to get several wet nurses for when Ciel's baby was due. If he got that far in life. Mainly because he now found something that gave him a weak stomach. Other than Grell's advances.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I know this chapter wasn't amazingly great but hey. They gotta learn sometime. xD_

_Reviews and critique appreciated._


	6. Loving Memories, Sweet Chapter I think

Something New 6

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Yeap I had another thought again. XD_

* * *

Finni ran throughout the manor as fast as a bunny with it's tail caught on fire. His destination. Ciel's office. Skidding to a halt, he grabbed the door knob and swung the door open so hard that it came off it's hinges. Ciel jumped in surprise at the unexpected interruption.

"Finni! What are you doing?!" he shouted, abit annoyed that Finni hadn't even thought to knock first.

Finni ran up to him with so much excitement, that it was like sparkles were in his very being. "Young master! The new Rowdy movie came out! It's going to be shown on tv tonight! Can't we watch?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! Huuuuuuuhhh?!" he squealed with his fists to his lower chin, and each huh made him lean closer to Ciel until their noses were almost touching.

Ciel just blinked at him, "If I say yes will you not bother me for the rest of the day?" he asked. Wondering if Finni's head would explode or something.

"Yay!!" he cheered then dashed out of the room, almost slamming into Sebastian, who was pushing a cart with tea and a snack.

"Finni seems excited today." he said as he poured Ciel some tea.

"Uh huh." he replied as he looked over the documents that'd he'd been going over before Finni broke his door.

"If I may ask, what's it about?" Sebastian asked as he cut a slice of vanilla cake for Ciel.

"There's a movie coming on tonight, he asked he and the others could watch." he said as if he was bored. Taking a bite of the cake presented to him.

"Oh? Will the young master be joining them?"

"Yes, it's a movie I want to see as well."

"I understand, i'll be sure to make some snacks."

"By the way Sebastian." Ciel smirked over his fork.

"Yes my lord?" he raised a brow, curious to what Ciel had to say.

"Granny was wondering if you'd wear that dress again. She wanted to take some pictures for her album."

Sebastian shook as he got goose bumps all over his skin. "I think not young master." he could only imagine why she would want such photos.

"Awww, afraid Bard will kiss you again?" he snickered.

Sebastian did a smirk of his own at that point, "The young master must want vegetables for his movie snack tonight."

Ciel's eye widdened, effectively making any further drag comments at Sebastian go back down into the depths of his mind. He didn't hate vegetables, but he didn't want them for a snack during the movie either. "Why don't we make it a movie night for everyone." he said to drift away from the previous subject.

"Oh? Do you think that is wise young master? It's very unseemingly heard of for a master of the house to partake in activities with their servants."

"You say that like you've never...partook of festivies with me before." he shuddered, remembering the Viscounts party where he himself was in drag.

"I merely meant on a regular basis."

"Are you trying to avoid it?" Ciel asked as he polished off the last piece of cake from his plate.

"Not at all. I was just stating a fact for the current matter."

Sighing, Ciel got up from his seat, "In anycase, there's shopping that needs to be done. I'd like to get some things for tonight."

Sebastian bowed, "Yes my lord."

* * *

Ciel had dragged Sebastian from store to store, something he was accustomed to, but he did get annoyed when at most of the stores, Ciel just looked around for the longest time. Then decided to leave, but then drag him back to the very same store and actually buy something. His arms were already full of various packages with various items. And he couldn't really see over them.

"I'm going in here for a moment." Ciel announced. "Wait here and call for a carriage."

"Yes my lord." he said, trying to shift some of the packages so he could actually signal a carriage.

* * *

Ciel walked into the clothing store and looked around for abit. He wanted to annoy Sebastian abit more by taking his time. Until he walked past a set of clothing that just seemed to stick out and call to him. Walking over he lifted the item up to get a closer look. It was the top part to a pair of pajamas. He rubbed his fingers over the fabric.

"Ah you have good taste lad, there were only so many of those made, high quality, but sadly I don't think I have that in your size."

"They aren't for me." he said as he looked it over some more.

"Oh? Shopping for a gift then?" the owner asked as he walked over.

Smirking, "You could say that."

"Well if it is a gift i'd recommend it, it's the last one i've got. Anyone who gets it would be thrilled."

"Ah."

* * *

Sebastian sat in the carriage as he waited for Ciel. After a few more minutes, he finally saw Ciel leave the clothing store, and come towards the carriage with a large box. Getting up he offered assistence. "Allow me to take that young master."

"No it's fine." he replied as he sat in the carriage. Sebastian blinked at him in confusion but said nothing.

"Find anything interesting young master?" he asked, finding the large box intriguing.

"You'll just have to wait and see." Ciel smiled as Sebastian's curiosity was peaked.

* * *

Ciel watched as the others got the televison room ready. He had them grab one of the biggest mattresses and place it on the floor, close enough to the tv. Sebastian was in the kitchen making the snacks.

"Young master it seems abit weird to do this." Bard whined as he grabbed some pillows and tossed them on the mattress. It was just big enough for six people to lay on it comfortably.

"Even so, i've always wanted to do it." he replied, he'd seen it in magazine and thought it looked interesting. He was sure if Soma had seen it he'd be more than happy. He couldn't wait to see Sebastian's face when he saw the mattress on the floor.

"Young master what's this box?" Finni asked as he poked at it. Ciel hadn't let it leave his person the whole time.

"It's a present." he replied as if it was the most common sense thing in the world. It wasn't wrapped like a present, so anyone would be thrown off by it.

"Aww a present for who?!" Maylene said with excitement.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka said as he poked at the box himself.

Sebastian came in wheeling a cart of snacks and drinks. Lifting a brow when he saw the mattress on the floor. "Young master, it's very un noble like to have a mattress on the floor."

"It's so we can watch the movie." Ciel smiled, though he was hoping for a better reaction. "Make sure to put a bed cover on it."

Sebastian sighed, "Yes my lord." and proceeded to do as he was ordered, setting up the mattress how it would be on a bedframe. Only there were six sheets and pillows atop it.

"Wow Sebastian made cream filled doughnuts!" Finni said with excitement after opening a lid.

"Finni! Don't you dare touch those before it's time!" Sebastian shouted as he was getting up. Even though there was a huge pile on the cart of them, he wasn't about to let Finni eat them all in litterally one bite.

"Awww, but they look so good." he drooled.

Ciel looked at the clock. "It seems it's time to get ready." he said smiling.

"Get ready?" Sebastian inquired.

"You don't expect us to be in our regular clothes do you? We're having a slumber party, slumber parties require pajamas."

"Young master isn't that abit....odd?" He raised a brow.

"It's my house, i'll do what I want in it."

Sighing, "Yes my lord.", he replied as he grabbed a night shirt for Ciel. He'd gotten it in case Ciel fell asleep during the movie. Changing Ciel in the room, Maylene went into the bathroom to change. Everyone except Sebastian was in their pajamas. "Honestly, a slumber party with your own servants. I'm just thankful no one can see this." he said as he put the clothing in the closet. The other servants had merely tossed them to the floor while they'd changed. So he'd been the one to pick them up and put them on hangers.

"Oie Sebastian! Aren't you going to change?" Bard asked as he put his hands on his hips.

"I do not have pajamas to change into." he said, putting Maylene's dress in the closet. He couldn't understand how no one thought to do so.

"So what do you sleep in at night?" Finni asked as he hugged the latest stuffed rabbit from Ciel's company. Ciel had given it to him as a gift. Mainly because once he saw it he didn't want to give it back. So Ciel gave up on trying to get it back.

"Ah...sleep...right.." he danced around the question. "I just sleep in my shirt and pants." he replied, which wasn't a lie. He did lay on his bed and shut his eyes from time to time. Which one would probably deemed as sleeping. Though he mostly did it because the lights hurt his eyes sometimes.

"Ohhh? But your uniform never looks slept in." Finni replied as he looked his uniform over. It always looked pristene and pressed, with the exception of a few occastions when there were holes in it from various happenings.

Ciel smiled at the interrogation. He knew Sebastian only really had a few sets of his uniform and school teaching outfit that he wore when giving Ciel lessons. And his coat he wore when they went out. Of all the servants Sebastian probably had the least amount of spare clothing. And the most expensive."I guess now's a good time." Ciel announced as he put a hand on the box that was on the sofa. Making everyone look at him. "Sebastian this is for you." He smiled.

Sebastian just tilted his head to the side. He was curious what was in the box, but he never thought it was something for him.

"If you don't hurry up the movie's going to start." Ciel chided.

Sebastian picked up the box, and undid the twine. Opening it with caution in case it was one of Ciel's pranks. After lifting the lid he blinked in surprise. "Huh?" was all he said. Inside were the very pajamas Ciel had looked at in the store. They were a deep violet, with black trims.

"Wow!!" the others said in excitement, they'd never thought that Ciel would of gotten any of them such expensive looking clothing. Though in reality they didn't know the cost of their own clothes.

"Nice!" Bard said as he gave Sebastian a thumbs up.

"Young master don't you think these are abit...above my station?" Sebastian asked. Not showing as much excitement as the others. But Ciel could tell by looking in his eyes he was amazed as well. The pajamas he got him were clearly for someone of rank. Not a servant. Made of the finest silk and each stich precise.

"No, I think they suit you." he smiled, enjoying the reaction from the demon. It was the first pair of clothing he'd picked that he didn't need help with for someone or himself.

"Sebastian go change!" Finni awed.

Maylene was in her own fantasy as he imagined Sebastian changing just one room away. "Sebastian...stripping...ahhh!" she blushed as he fell to the floor, imagining a shirtless Sebastian.

* * *

After many shoves Sebastian finally was changed into his new pajamas. They felt nice against the skin, and were just the right size. He didn't think Ciel knew his own size, must less his. He kept his socks and gloves on, for the obvious reason of hiding the contract, and he didn't want to show his black nails. Though he kept his socks on just because it felt abit awkward to him if he walked barefoot. Stepping out of the bathroom he got a large gasp.

"Wow, Sebastian looks like a noble!" Finni said amazed.

"What's with the gloves and socks?" Bard asked but was ignored.

"Ahhh, I get to see Sebastian in pajamas!!" Maylene said as she got a nose bleed.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka said cheerily as he sat on the bed.

Ciel clicked his tongue. Though on the inside he had to admit Sebastian did look like a noble in them. "It's time for the movie." he said as he plopped onto the center of the mattress on his belly. At some point the snacks had been moved to the front, while he'd been changing. Ciel turned and smirked as he patted the spot next to him. "Come on, get a front seat." he said, clearly at Sebastian. Who sighed as he took the offered spot. Sitting on his knees. He felt it was abit strange to sit next to the master when one was the servant to watch a movie. But then again, Ciel was a strange master.

Everyone was on the large mattress, Bard taking the left edge next to Tanaka who was next to Ciel. And Maylene on the right edge next to Finni. Sebastian didn't look pleased in the slightest. Hugging Finni's bunny as if to use it as a shield. He was even less pleased when it was the Rowdy movie that came on. He didn't like the show himself, so he kept his complaints to himself. And he was more than happy when the movie, that felt like it'd taken forever, was finished.

"Yay! The count wins again!" Finni cheered, tossing his pillow in the air in his excitement.

Sebastian picked up a few empty dishes and was about to get up, when he was promptly shoved down. "Hey!!" he shouted, realizing it was Ciel that shoved him. "Young master that's not appropriate behavior!"

Ciel looked at him threateningly as he held his pillow in both hands. "Oh...you mean like this?" he said, before hitting Sebastian with his pillow. Apparently hyper with the excess sugar in his system. Silence hit the room as the other servants backed away abit fearing what Sebastian would do with in the next moment.

Sebastian shook for a moment, then grabbed his own pillow and wacked Ciel with it. Ciel tried to hit him back, but he ducked and it hit Maylene instead.

"Gah!! Maylene!" Ciel shouted in shock, he hadn't intended to hit her. But she peeled his pillow off her face, and with a low growl she threw it back, but it hit Bard instead.

"Hey! Don't get me involved!" he shouted as he grabbed it and threw it. Which in turn hit Finni. Silence dwelled for a moment before they all started attacking each other with their pillows.

Thus starting the Phantomhive pillow fight, with Tanaka sitting on the sides sipping his tea. Chuckling merrily as he watched the display. "Ah, to be young again." he said in the moment in he was his normal self. Before he reverted back an explosion of feathers erupted, signalling the death of a pillow, which didn't stop the battle at all. "Ho, ho, ho."

* * *

Without realizing it, everyone had fallen asleep after all the excitement had calmed down. Ciel laying on his back, Sebastian on his side facing Ciel. Finni on his side as well with an arm thrown over Sebastian, Maylene on her back, with her glasses still on. Tanaka next to Ciel and Bard on the floor as he'd fallen off the mattress at some point. Within a few moments Sebastian sat up, rubbing at his eyes, still feeling a tad weary even as Finni's arm fell onto the mattress.

"What a pain, it seems i've fallen asleep." he stated as he looked towards Ciel. "Such bad habits for me." He got up and made sure not to step on any spills of the left over desserts that met their doom from the fight. "Oh...so much was wasted, it's going to take a while to get the stains out of the carpet." he stated as he looked about. Only one pillow had survived the pillow fight, and it'd been Tanaka's sitting pillow. Checking his watch he looked at the time. It was still abit early, 4 am to be precise. "I guess I can let them sleep abit longer."

After getting dressed he walked downstairs to start preparing breakfast.

* * *

As he thought it'd taken a while to get out the stains from the carpet. He made a mental note to make sure all snacks were out of reach if another pillow war came into play. It seemed Ciel wanted to have more nights such as the one last night, finding it very enjoyable. "It seems the young master as of late is becoming more attached to groupings." he stated as he scrapped off the last of the cream from the carpet and shoved it in a bucket of water. "So un noble like." he muttered after, but then looked to the mattress that'd yet to be put back. Everyone's night clothes were atop it, Ciel's, Tanaka's and his own were neatly folded while the others were tossed in disarray. He looked at the ones given to him. As a demon he'd really never recieved gifts, it was his nature to do as he was told by his contractor and expect nothing in between while awaiting the time to obtain the soul he'd worked so hard for. He picked them up and rubbed at the fabric with his gloved fingers. The feeling he had was so un natural to him. Even though he did have feelings. But this one in particular he'd only seen never felt. It was the emotion humans called, endearment.

"Am I...?...Ha..that's silly." he whispered to himself. It was a ridiculous thought for him to think demons could have emotions other than hate, fear, jealousy, disgust, sadness, pride, laughter, joy, or love. Yes demon's understood love better than humans ever could. To go beyond those emotions was unthinkable. But here he stood, feeling gratitude at being thought of by a mere human child. A child who'd lost everything, and gained what he wanted though his own self reliance. Many adults weren't nearly as ambious as his master. This thought alone put a honest smile to his face.

* * *

When he got back to the servants dining room he saw the other servants huddled around the table. Not doing their jobs like usual.

"Ahhh sooo cute!" Maylene squealed.

"Ahhhh this one is cute too!" Finni squealed himself.

"What are you all looking at?" he raised a brow as he walked over.

"Ahh...Sebastian..look what Finni found in the old storage room next to the barn." she said with delight, as she made room for him to look.

Leaning over he got a good look at the object, it was an album. But not any album. Apparently the Phantomhive photo album. He'd never seen it before and wondered where it was hidden in the storage room for a brief moment. Looking at the pictures he smiled, "Ohhh..now these are something interesting indeed."

* * *

Ciel tapped his finger against his desk for what seemed to be in a metronome tune. Sebastian was making a habit of serving him his dessert and tea abit late. Granted it rarely happened, but it still frustrated him. Especially when he greatly anticipated it. Todays dessert was chocolate chiffon cake with raspberries. Sebastian only made it when the freshest raspberries were in season. So he only got to eat it twice a year if he was lucky. "Two minutes...he's two minutes late." he tapped his finger again. He'd even made room on his desk himself for the anticipated dessert. After another minute he got tired of waiting and decided he was going to go to the kitchen himself. His dessert was on the line. He could live with a late lunch, a late dinner, or even a late breakfast, but when it came to dessert, he expected it to be on time. When he'd finally reached the kitchen, not only was there no dessert readily made, but no one was there at all. "Where is everyone?" he raised a brow as he went through the cubboards. "Salt..sugar..cinnamon...nutmeg.." he mumbled as he went through one, it was the ingredients cabinet. Opening another he found various vegetables such as carrots, peas, and cucumbers. "Tsk..where does he keep the desserts?" he was getting frustrated. Until he heard laughter coming from the next room. Swinging the door open to make sure his presense was known. "What are you all doing?!"

"Ahh young master!" Maylene shouted like they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't of.

"Answer my question.."

"Oh the young master was very cute as a baby." Sebastian smirked evilly at Ciel. Making him look at him in confusion. Walking over he saw the book they'd been looking at and blushed with complete embarassment. Inside were pictures of him doing various baby things. Like sucking on a stuffed toy, or his diaper being pulled by his dog while he was crawling away. There was even one of him getting his first bath with Elizabeth.

"Give that back!!" he shouted as Sebastian picked it off the table out of his reach. His face completely red with embarassment.

"But we're not done looking at it yet." he pretended to whine.

"Sebastian!!"

"My my young master bathing with your fiance at such a young age too." he grinned even more.

"I'll kill you you bastard!"

"The young master was a very adorable baby indeed." Tanaka stated as he sipped his tea, which for some reason calmed everyone down. "I remember it like it was just yesterday. The young master playing in the mud." he laughed softly.

"I think that was yesterday." Sebastian stated, making the others laugh even though it wasn't true. Ciel kicked him in knee, even though he was still blushing. "Young master, you shouldn't be upset, we were just enjoying your pictures. The precious memories your parents left." he smiled gently as he handed Ciel the book.

Ciel took it and hugged it, surprise on his features evident. He hadn't thought of what Sebastian just said. But now that it'd been said, it brought a smile to his own face.

* * *

After going though the album he's found it was only half full. Stopping before the tragedy happened. He fingered the last picture of himself with his parents.

"Is this okay young master?"

"...It's fine." he replied as he looked over at Sebastian who was cutting up some twine and paper. He was going to have the book put back where it was found to keep it from being destroyed. He pulled something out of his drawer, and put it in the book and shut it, just as Sebastian laid out the paper.

"What was that young master?" he raised a brow as he hadn't seen what was placed into the book.

"...Nothing." he smirked. "Nothing at all."

* * *

Hours after the book had been returned to it's resting place, a shadowed figure walked towards it's tomb. Pulling out from it's hidden place. Gently removing the wrapping the figure flipped the pages, "Ha...the young master is tricky indeed." it said. Though a light shown from the moon and it was revealed to be Sebastian. The item placed in the book was a picture of Ciel with all his servants infront of the manor, it'd been taken a few days after Finni had been hired. He rewrapped the book and replaced it as if it hadn't been touched at all.

Walking back to the manor he was in wonderment. Memories, they were something that everyone had. His were long and more often than not weren't happy moments. His master was the same now. But he very much liked the idea of preserving the happy moments. He was going to get rid of the photo as there shouldn't be anything left of his existence once the contract was fullfilled, but he didn't think it'd be so bad to leave one thing behind. The thing he'd learned was it wasn't so bad to be needed and honestly cared for. Even if he was a demon. The pillow fight was a new experience too.

"Ah...humans are such strange creatures indeed."

* * *

_I don't know how many times I rewrote this, but I think it was around chapter 4 or 5 that I kept rewritting it. It was originally supposed to be chapter 4 but I didn't like how it was turning out, but I did like the idea of it. Then I was gonna make it chapter 5, but I still wasn't happy with it. Finally I came up with a solid idea of how to work this chapter._

_Even though someone guessed the whole pillow fight part, it was still apart of this before that. _

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Reviews and comments appreciated. _


	7. You want me to buy what?

Something New 7

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

* * *

Ah shopping day, Sebastian thought with a hint of delight in his mind. Shopping day was his christmas. It was the only day where he could buy whatever he required without being bothered by the other servants for the most part. Rarely did they ever ask for something. To his delight Finni didn't even request any nonsense items such as the pineapple from before. Bard only wanted his typical mountain of cigarettes. Finni, a special treat that he could randomly pick out so long as it had chocolate on it or was soft and cuddly. Maylene. She was probably his favorite on such a day when he came to shopping day. She never asked for anything at all. Nothing, not a thing. Which meant he didn't have to spend a whole 30 seconds procuring anything for her.

He smiled as he wrote out his grocery list for the next few months or so. The holidays were coming up so it was best to get as much as one could in a timely manner. There was also the master's birthday to prepare for. It gave him an opportunity to try out new cake recipes that he would only make on special occastions. And this time he planned many treats that required caramel. And he intended to get as much of it as he possibly could without his master becoming aware of it. Whenever Ciel knew a certain ingredient was in the house that could be used for a dessert. He'd request a dessert with that ingredient almost everyday. Thus making buying it for a holiday or special occasion almost pointless.

Nodding in satisfaction when he completed his list. He decided to take one last glance of the stock room to ensure he had everything. While he was doing this he noted Maylene had actually been at the door for quite sometime. Eyeing him, and blushing profusely. He'd pretty much ignored her since he figured she was just gawking at him like usual. But this time her presence seemed abit different.

She slowly slid herself from the door and near him. Looking at the floor as she played with the hem of her apron. "Se...Sebastian.." she said sheepishly.

He looked at her with a questioning look on his face. "Yes?"

Playing with her fingers, she didn't dare meet his gaze. "Umm...I...that is..." she tried.

10 seconds with her and he was already annoyed. "What is it?" he tried to remain calm.

"I know the young master said that you and he were going to the market today...and...well..."

'She wants something I take it.' he thought. "Yes the master and I are going shopping today."

Her face seemed to light up like a tomatoe. "I....I...."

"What is it?!" he shouted, he couldn't take it anymore, her slow way of requesting things was getting on his nerves.

She flinched visibly. "INEEDTAMPONS!!" she shouted back in fear and then covered her face with her apron.

Sebastian blinked several times as he tried to comprehend what she'd asked. "You need what?"

Now her blush was so red, that he was pretty sure she was going to burst at any given moment. "Tampons." she said again, abit calmer, but kept her face hidden.

Sebastian being a demon had lived a long time. He was around when the printing press was invented, the television, and even the automobile. But never had he ever heard of anything such as a tampon. "What...in the world...is a tampon?" he asked confused by the item in question.

* * *

Before he could even find out what a tampon was, Maylene had tossed a piece of paper at him and ran out of the room in complete embarrassment. Making him even more confused by what it was. "Humans are so strange." he sighed. Since she's ran out of the room he didn't even get to ask where he could even purchase it or what it looked like.

"Hey Sebastian!" Bard shouted at him as he came through the hall.

"What do you want?"

"Oh nothing much, could ya pick me up some matches too? I'm all out." he smirked with glee.

Sebastian sighed, of course it was something meaningless. But if he wanted to die a slow death with the poisons of a cigarette what was he to care?

Bard had slicked himself beside him and snagged the list from his hands. As well as the paper Maylene had given him. His face grew distorted and disgusted as he read what was written. "Oh..my..god.."

"What?" he raised a brow, taking back the papers and putting them in his pocket for now.

"Are you seriously going to get those?"

"What?" he asked again.

Bard seemed to go into his own embarrasment. "So she conned you into getting them for her huh?"

"What? the tampons?"

"Oh my god don't say that out loud! What if the young master hears you?!" he became frantic, while giving Sebastian a look as if he'd just been cussed at by him, "I don't want to have to explain what they are for yet! That's just as bad as the talk!"

Sebastian just stared at Bard with the utmost confusion. He had a feeling he was going to head to the library in a few minutes. He wasn't about to let Bard know he didn't know what they were.

"What are you two talking about?" Ciel asked from down the hall.

"Nothing!" Bard said with embarrassment.

"It's not nothing." Ciel stated bluntly. "And what on earth is a tampon?"

"You heard?!" Bard shouted in shock.

"Of course, it's not hard to hear when your only so many feet away."

Bard's expression turned into something akin to a doomed face.

"So what is it?" Ciel asked again.

* * *

It'd taken an hour, but they'd finally gotten Bard to talk. Sebastian had to use a bit of cunning to get him to say what it was. "They make those for that?" he said as he sat in the carriage.

Ciel looked green in the face. Bard's explaination had been detailed to every aspect of it. "I always wondered about that...now I regret knowing."

Sebastian just smiled, "On the brightside young master we now know for when Lady Elizabeth requires them."

"You mean you didn't know?!"

"I did know that females had a monthly cycle. But I didn't know there were products for such things."

"Don't female demons use anything?"

Sebastian just shrugged. "I never paid any attention to it."

"Didn't you have a girlfriend..or didn't your mother send you to get anything?"

"Hmmmm" He thought for a moment. "Nope."

"Oh..my..god.." Ciel suddenly went into shock.

"Young master?"

"I've just realized...that my own mother and aunt...had me get them when I was younger."

"Oh?" Sebastian said, very interested and amused at the same time.

"They'd tell me to get them because they were having special friends over...and I remember asking if i'd met their special friends!" he shouted embarrassed.

It seemed everyone was getting embarrassed today. Sebastian giggled in his seat and turned away. He'd never heard such a thing before. If that could be deemed a special friend, well it was a special friend indeed.

* * *

Once they'd arrived at the market they'd gotten pretty much everything except for Maylene's request. They both just stood infront of the doors to the pharmacy like they were the gates of hell. It hadn't dawned on them on how many woman would be inside.

"Maybe i'll just wait in the carriage." Ciel tried. But Sebastian snagged him before he could run off to wait with Tanaka.

"Young master I think this will be a good experience for you for the future." Sebastian stated calmly as he dragged him into the pharmacy. After walking down many rows they finally came to what they were looking for.

"You can't go down that aisle Sebastian!" Ciel panicked. "It's embarrassing!"

"What's embarrassing is your attitude young master." Sebastian calmly stated as he walked into what Ciel called the forbidden zone.

Ciel's eye widened in shock as he watched his butler calmly go down the aisle like it was nothing. But here he was standing at the fine line between that area and the safety of the regular part of the pharmacy. He fidgetted and rubbed at the back of his head as if he had to think about what he was going to do. "Damnit!" he cursed as he walked into the aisle, keeping his head low as he prayed no one was watching.

Sebastian was surprised as how many there were. All the different brands like they were other products just amazed him. He thought there would just be one type as he didn't see a reason to have more than one. But he was dead wrong. There was atleast 15 different brand names. And to top it off, there was another 20 of something called a feminine napkin. He did know what those were to an extent, having seen them before. But the amount on the shelves was astounding..

"Hurry up and grab what she wants so we can get out of here." Ciel mumbled, tipping his hat lower over his face.

Sebastian dug in his pocket and pulled out the paper she'd given him earlier. Her handwritting was horrible. He couldn't make out what it was that she wanted. "It seems Maylene needs a lesson in penmenship." he stated. Trying to look at the labels to see if anything even came close to what was written. He sighed when he couldn't figure it out. "Does this look like a k to you?" he asked his master, who snatched the paper hastily.

"What that?" he said. "I don't know, didn't you see the packaging?"

"No."

"Gah! This is so embarrassing.."

"Oh well, then i'll just pick something. What's the best of all these?" he started reaching out for some random box. Ciel promptly grabbed at his arm.

"You can't do that!"

"Why not? It's all the same to me. Just different names." he said confused.

"It doesn't work that way when it comes to this." Ciel tried to keep his voice down.

"Why?"

"Girls are very particular about this thing. The minute you get something different is the minute hell breaks loose."

Sebastian sighed in frustration. He just couldn't grasp his master's concept. The paper was useless, "Fine then i'll get her some feminine napkins for now."

"Are you stupid?! I just told you, you can't do that!" Ciel growled at him.

"Your making a simple matter complex!"

"I am not making this complex!"

"Yes you are! If you weren't you'd just grab a random box like I want to and be done with it!"

The other customers watched them quarrel with great amusement on their faces. Never had they seen anyone have such dedication to such a simple matter. Let alone one that deal with an obvious noble and his servant. The women giggled, and the men stood off to the side smirking as they tried to pretend they didn't know what was going on. A rather hard thing to cover up when they were in the aisle that only had one thing within it.

"Your being impossible Sebastian!"

"I'm being impossible?! Your the one who doesn't even want to just grab a box and leave?!"

They continued to bicker for a good twenty minutes before one of them finally gave up. Though the one giving in was highly unexpected.

"That's it! She can lick herself there for all I care! I'm leaving!" Sebastian shouted in a huff and stormed out of the pharmacy in his tantrum. Gaining many blushes from the women because of his words. Ironically they didn't seem the least bit offended by it. If anything they laughed harder by his actions as they expected an adult to be abit calmer in the matter.

It'd taken Ciel but one minute to realize, not only had they'd made a fool of themselves in public. But that he'd been left alone, in the one section he dreaded. He gave a nervous laugh before running out of the store after his butler. It seemed Sebastian had only gotten so far as he walked towards the carriage where it was parked down the road. Ciel had managed to catch up to him and grab him by the back of his jacket. "Wait!" he growled at him in a low tone. Panic filled his voice. But Sebastian didn't stop and kept on. Not even looking at his master. "Will you wait! That's an order!"

Sebastian stopped as he was only a few feet away from the carriage. When Ciel walked around him so he could see his face he was only met with a glare. And then a face turned away from him as Sebastian crossed his arms. Of everything Ciel could ever hate about Sebastian it was when he snubbed him like he was the master and himself the servant.

"We can't go without them." he said calmly, even as the demon seemingly ignored him. This aggitated Ciel even more, "Sebastian! Look at me when i'm talking to you!"

"I'd rather not. You've offended me." Sebastian stated in a snotty manner.

The whispers of the bystanders was now very apparent. They were far less embarrassing than the gossip that'd happened at the Bris. But it seemed he'd walked into yet another set of gossip that'd happened because of his own butler. He'd heard a few people say how cute their bond was. And some were wondering if Sebastian was even his butler or his brother.

Ciel sighed in frustration, in the end they were only in the mess that'd been created because of his stubborness. Now that he was calm, it became apparent that Sebastian's logic to just buy whatever wasn't so bad of an idea. But he wasn't about to tell the demon that. But first he had to get said demon off his high horse or else nothing would be accomplished. "Sebastian..." he gritted his teeth. "I apologize." he whispered the last two words. But he was sure the demon heard it clear as day.

Sebastian looked at his master through the corner of his eye. He hadn't actually been upset. He just wanted to teach his master a lesson. And it seemed it'd worked. Granted at the expense of some of his own pride, but he could live with it. He smiled mischievously as he watched his master's face fill with even more embarrassment. "I don't know that I can forgive you." he started off, turning away to pretend he was still upset. "You made it seem like I was an idiot when I offered options to fix our little problem."

Ciel gritted his teeth, he'd had a feeling this was going to happen. Taking a few deep breaths he tried to remain calm to avoid any further mishaps.

* * *

A few extra purchases, and a phone call later. Sebastian and Ciel had finished the shopping hours before and were finally back at home. It'd taken alot of Ciel's patience to keep himself from trying to kill the demon at the market. But in the end Sebastian had an idea that'd save any male in the house the embarrassment from having to purchase any feminine products for quite a long time.

"They were having a sale." Sebastian smiled as he lied through his teeth at Maylene who was looking at the rather large quantity of tampons. She blushed as he motioned with his hand to the pile he'd set on the floor. Never had Ciel seen her go so fast as she grabbed the pile and stuffed it into her apron to carry the massive amount to her room. "And with this young master, we won't have to buy them for atleast a few years.....or until they explode the house again."

"Never, because i'm ordering a lifetime supply to be delivered to the house." Ciel stated as he placed a hand to his forehead.

Sebastian had been quite sneaky in his phone call to the manor. He'd pretty much bribed Finni over the phone to go to Maylene's room to find out the brand she'd used. And all it took was about 10lbs of chocolate and the allowance to watch the Rowdy Count show. A rather fair bargain. Technically Sebastian didn't lie. The pharmacy was having a sale. Just not on feminine products.

Ciel's payment to Sebastian was far more expensive than what he'd paid to get Finni's help. Sebastian was now the proud owner of a huge stuffed cat. So huge that it was actually almost as big as he was. It was the compromise they'd come to. Since Ciel still wouldn't allow a cat in the house due to his allergies. He didn't have to sneeze every 30 seconds, and Sebastian got to have an alternative. Though the thing was expensive. Worst of all it was his own product that his company had been working on. So he pretty much paid for a product that'd yet to go into production. The cost was expensive because he had to have it immediately brought over or else Sebastian promised not to do a thing. He watched as Sebastian wrapped his arms around his new property to carry it. Even when he hugged it his arms didn't go fully around the thing. He reached out to feel the softness of the material but it was moved away.

"Mine!" Sebastian responded snobbishly. Holding the stuffed cat away from his master's touch.

"I paid for it!" he whined.

Sebastian looked at him for a moment as if he had to think about what Ciel had just said. "...Mine." he said again then walked off towards his room.

"You bastard!" Ciel shouted after him. But Sebastian only smiled as he carried his prize away.

* * *

Once he was in his room he placed his stuffed cat beside his bed. He loved the feel of it. It was soft like a cat's paws. He just wished it was a real cat. But it would have to do. He loved watching his master squirm at the pharmacy. It was a lesson he was sure his master would never forget. "Ah..and to think when I was younger I said the same thing to my mother." he started thinking of his own child hood.

_A long black haired woman was pushing a cart that looked more like a torture device as a younger Sebastian was walking beside her as innocent as he could possibly be for a demon. He couldn't of been no more than the equivalent of a 4 year old human child._

_"Sweetie could you grab the milk, rice, human souls, a box of female demon monthly. Mommy's "friend" is going to visit soon, and a carton of eggs." she smiled at him as he looked up at her._

_"Have I met this friend before mommy?" he asked innocently as he put a thumb in his mouth. His big round eyes filled with curiosity as he sucked his thumb._

_Her smile grew even wider in a very demonic manner, even when the other older demons in the store around them, laughed at his innocent question. Confusing him since he didn't understand why his question had been so funny._

His memory ended and he couldn't help but laugh at it now. "How naive I was then." he mumbled to himself. "I can't believe I thought she was talking about an actual friend." he kept giggling. Not matter how embarrassing it was then, it was rather funny now. Especially since his master apparently did the same thing. But he supposed all males went through the same thing at one point. "I guess that's one subject that humans and demons have in common." he laughed again. An unknown joke that only he knew about. He pulled out his little notebook and put a few marks on his side and smiled. "I wonder what I can do next to embarass my master?" he asked himself. Sebastian was true to his nature, and as a demon, picking on defenseless humans was like a trip to a candy store for a child. Best of all he could use it to get what he wanted. Even if he did have to play abit at being ignorant.

* * *

_Ya know, when I thought about this one, I couldn't help but think..why didn't I write this one sooner? It's so right there in the face and yet I didn't think about it until now. Lol!!! Ironically it was boredom that made me think on it. That boredom spurred curiosity, which led me to wikipedia, which I looked up info on how long the tampon has existed. I was pretty surprised that it's been around for a long time. And I mean a looooonnnnnggg time. Longer than I thought it would of existed. _

_Sorry if no one agrees with me on how it went. I just honestly can't see Sebastian getting embarrassed by something like that. I mean come on. He's been around, I think by now he'd probably dealt with that situation more than once. xD_

_Reviews and Critique appreciated._


	8. Sometimes you just gotta sit back

Something New 8

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

* * *

He was utterably bored. Boredom was a horrible thing for demons. When it hit it usually made even the most clever of demons dull. Luckily for him, his boredom hit after he'd put his master to bed. He laid on his own bed thinking of what he could possibly do to alleviate it. He nearly had to smack himself when the thought popped in his mind to ask the others what they did for entertainment. And he lectured himself that he was bored, not desperate. Rolling over so he laid on his belly he hugged his under used pillow. Another minute went by before he shoved his face completely into it and screamed in frustration. Then he suddenly sat up and fell back. Tossing his pillow to the floor. Not caring at the moment where it landed. Staring at his ceiling blankly, Sebastian just idly kept trying to think of something to entertain himself. He could always go to sleep, but that would take an effort on his part to actually sleep. He looked at his watch.

"10 minutes since I put the young master to bed. Just 10 minutes." he stated. Half tempted to toss the watch against the wall for making time go by so slowly. In the 10 minutes of his boredom he'd cleaned his room twice, and did his duties for the morning that didn't require cooking already. Now he regretted it. Which was a first for him since demons weren't supposed to feel regret. Sighing he got up, slipped back on his shoes, and walked out of his room. "I might as well do a check of the manor for cleaning..or even just clean." he stated. Though he did no such thing even as he passed a room that was in dire need of cleaning. He made a mental note to clean it later.

After a few minutes he made his way to the entertainment room. Where they usually kept games of sorts in it. Which was also used when Ciel got any toys that was delivered from his company for testing. But his goal, was an item he didn't really even enjoy using. The television.

"I don't see why humans enjoy this thing so much, but now is a good as time as any for me to see." he stated as he sat infront of it and turned it on.

Within moments Sebastian had mastered the american art of channel surfing. Even if it was with a knob. He was ready to give up until he flipped it to the final channel. "Oh..my.." he smiled. *_note: NO NOT THAT YOU PERVERTS! lol*_

* * *

Ciel woke up abit groggily. At first he thought he'd just woken up before it was time for Sebastian to wake him. But the chirping of the birds stated otherwise. "Sebastian." he called and waiting for a brief moment. Then blinked when he didn't appear. Sitting up, "Sebastian!" he tried again. "...Where is he?" he asked himself frustrated. Getting up he comtemplated dressing himself, but decided against it. Swinging his door open he stomped out of his room to look for his missing butler.

He blinked in surprise when he saw the other servants were still in their own pajamas, yawning as they'd just woken up too. Glancing at the grandfather clock he saw that it was 9 am. Three hours after the time he was supposed to wake up.

"This is an order, find Sebastian."

"Yes sir!" they other saluted. Dashing off in random directions.

Ciel clicked his tongue as he thought of where he could be. But then heard some noise coming from the entertainment room. Walking to the door he saw that it was partially open. Pushing slightly he found his missing butler.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian, who was sitting on one of Tanaka's floor sitting pillows, was currently in front of the tv, watching a program Ciel didn't even know existed. Worst of all to Ciel he was eating the left over snacks from yesterday that he was going to sneak later. "Good morning young master." he responded. Then laughed at the program as something funny happened.

"Do you know what time it is?!"

"Considering this program started at 8:30 am, i'd say 9."

Ciel started tapping his foot. But Sebastian seemingly ignored him, which frustrated him even more. Picking up a nearby pillow he threw it at the demon, who dodged it without even looking at him.

"That's not very nice young master, I don't bother you while your favorite shows are on."

"YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE WATCHING TV AT ALL! THE DAYS SCHEDULE IS NOW BEHIND!"

Sebastian sighed as he flipped the tv off. "Young master your morning is open, nothing is going on until the afternoon." he looked at his master, disappointment apparent on his face.

"That's not the point!"

Flipping off the tv with a sigh. Sebastian got up and dusted himself off of any crumbs that might of landed on himself while he was eatting the left over snacks. He mostly got them to munch on during the programs. "In any case i'll go and start breakfast." he smiled.

* * *

Seeing his master upset over the snacks had been very amusing to Sebastian. He'd actually found them where they weren't supposed to be. In Ciel's desk drawer. So seeing as he was entertaining himself he decided to "induldge" himself and confiscate them. His master has been sneaking quite abit that was for sure. He was sweeping the rug to the billiard room currently.

"SEBASTIANNNN!!" Maylene shouted then came into the room hastily. Skidding to a halt right before she slammed into him. "There's a letter for you."

"Thank you." he mumbled before taking it and opening it. Skimming through the contents. "Hmmm."

"What's it say?" she asked sheepishly.

"It's none of your concern." he stated before leaving the room like nothing had happened. Smiling as he left the room. He went straight to his master's office and knocked.

"Come in."

"Excuse me." he opened the door and saw his master going over the month's financial information.

"What is it?"

Holding out the letter he'd just received he waited until his master took it and read over it's contents.

"What is this?" Ciel asked as he looked over the seal to the envelope. It was his grandmother's seal. "Why is she writting you a letter?"

"It seems she'd like to pay us a visit." he smiled as his master frowned. Finding his master's jealousy very adorable. "As for why she addressed it to me, i'm unsure."

Ciel looked over the envelope again, it clearly was addressed to Sebastian Michealis, but the contents were written to him. Though parts of the letter also showed they were toward Sebastian and not himself. "What a pain..." he sighed.

"Shall I write her back stating we'd love to have her?"

"It's fine, it's not like we have a choice anyway."

"I understand." he bowed.

* * *

Within the week after he'd had a letter sent to her his granny was at his doorstep, all smiles like she usually was. "Oh Tanaka you tell the funniest jokes." she waved a hand.

"Ho, ho, ho." he replied as the others helped with her luggage.

"Is she moving in or what?" Bard complained as Sebastian handed him another trunk. She'd had a good seven trunks atop the carriage alone. Including the other four tied to the back she had eleven total.

"The madam shall be staying with us most of the spring and summer I believe. She wrote in her letter that her home was quite cold this time of year." Sebastian replied as he picked up a trunk himself to carry into the manner.

"Tsk!" Bard clicked his tongue as he followed behind. They'd brought them to her room within moments. Tanaka had lead her to her room since he obviously couldn't carry a trunk.

"Oh please becareful, my treasures are in this one." she stated as she went up to Bard and tapped the lid lightly. He placed it in the corner of the room and whined about women carrying too much luggage and went back to his duties. Once all the trunks were in her room she smiled. "Sebastian, may I have a cup of tea? I always have one before my nap."

"Of course madam." he stated as he poured a cup of tea for her that he'd prepared just before she'd arrived. "Todays tea is jackson's earl grey."

"How lovely, the scent is divine."

"Is there anything else you require madam?"

She smiled her smile as she replaced her cup to it's saucer. "Indeed, could you bring over that blue trunk?"

Doing as he was told he placed it before her so it'd be within reach. It was probably one of her lighter trunks. But to him it might as well of been weightless either way.

"After my first visit I got you something..." she stated as she opened the lid.

"I'm honored madam but you didn't need to get me anything i'm just a humble butler after all." he stated, though his curiousity was peaked and he tried to see what it was without her noticing. He just hoping it wasn't something that Elizabeth would of thought to give him. He couldn't really see it though since the lid was blocking his view.

"Nonsense." She smiled as she dug into the trunk.

* * *

Ciel was aggrivated. He knew Sebastian was with his grandmother, but she'd pretty much been hogging him from the moment she got there. Because of it, he'd missed his afternoon snack, midday tea time, as well as getting a late dinner that was charcoal as Bard had cooked it. He was regretting ordering him to make her stay as comfortable as possible. Though he didn't think she'd require so much attention. Walking to her room he knocked on her door.

"Just a minute." came her voice from within. He heard a few shuffling noises, until finally he got tired of waiting.

"Excuse me." He stated with an attitude. "Sebastian..I need....WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!" he gasped.

"Hello young master!" Sebastian said cheerily as he held his arms up as granny fixed his jacket. He was in regal garments that was made for someone of noble birth, a moss green jacket, with what appeared to be a cream colored silk shirt, a satin bow tie, brown vest, moss green pants to match the jacket, and black boots with heels abit higher than his regular shoes, he still had his white gloves on. His ears were pierced with studded earrings that had emeralds in them and were gold, a broach on the knot of the bow of the same design. He looked as though he'd come from the middle ages while at the same time it looked very modern.

"There all finished. Oh dearie you should of waited, I wanted to surprise you. Isn't he adorable?"

"It's so comfortable...however did you know my size?" Sebastian gawked as he twisted here and there to look at himself. Smiling with glee as he looked himself over and enjoying what he saw. He was obviously very excited.

"I have my ways."

"Sebastian...." Ciel growled, but knew he couldn't really say anything since he was sure granny had made him put it on. But he didn't have to look so happy about it in his opinion.

"Young master does this make my butt look too big?" he suddenly asked.

Ciel blushed as Sebastian turned in the mirror to look at his rear. Not once had he ever thought Sebastian would be so particular about something like that. Though he guessed it was to be expected with him since the demon took great lengths to make sure Ciel's own clothing was perfect to his body. "How..how should I know!?"

Sebastian smirked as he pretended to care about how big his rear looked. He just wanted to get a rise out of his master without actually angering him. Granny's outfit had given him the perfect excuse to do it as well. Though he really didn't like the green suit. To him it didn't suit his coloring at all. The green clashed with his pale skin and dark hair. Worst of all he could see a mild Christmas theme going on with it if he thought about the suit with his natural eye color.

"How's the front? Enough room?" Granny asked him as she suddenly started jiggling the front of his pants. Ciel blushed even harder than before.

Sebastian had his own embarassment, when she'd done it, no one had ever done that to him before. Not even his own mother, but he wasn't about to show it to his master. So he just smiled and grabbed at her hands to lightly push her off. "Granny! Not infront of the master. I'm still on duty." he teased.

"Hahahahahaha, your such a sweetie making an old fetch like me feel so young."

Ciel was now the brightest shade of red that Sebastian had ever seen. Even Grell and Madam Red were far less red as he was colored from head to toe. "Sebastian! Stop hitting on my granny!"

"Oh? But I was going to ask her to marry me.." he looked away with a grin.

"Sebastian!!"

* * *

Sebastian had enjoyed the moment with his master and granny. But now that had to come to an end since he had to refeed his master. Though he wasn't really fed to begin with since it was Bard's cooking. Granny had a strict dietitary list that was about as long as when he'd made the list on possible Jack the Ripper criminals. Maybe as long as his grocery list since it looked the same length to him considering everything listed. He was utterably confused at was a mangosteen was. But he was sure he'd find some if he looked hard enough. Of course he'd have to find a picture of it first. Her suppers though strict were very simple since she wasn't allowed certain meats, or salt. So the supper was a simple butternut squash soup with some fish and a light salad in a light lemon dressing. His master practically kissed the meal when it was served to him. Though who could blame him?

"Squash is pretty good." Ciel stated as he sipped at his soup. He'd hardly had it, but he decided it'd be easier to just eat whatever granny ate for the duration of her stay. But he wasn't going to give up his snacks or desserts.

"I'm surprised young master, I didn't think you'd like it. Especially since I made it rather plain to suit the lady's diet."

"It has a nice...homely taste to it."

"..Is that even a word?" he raised a brow as he cleaned away the dishes from the table. Granny had gone to bed a few moments before. Weary from her long trip. Far too early for Ciel to go to bed, it was only 7:30.

"It is now." Ciel smiled.

"The young master seems to have some jealousy issues as of late."

Ciel just sipped his tea and turned away like Sebastian hadn't said a thing.

"But I wonder why the young master who's so...independant..would be so jealous." he smiled.

"I'm not jealous."

"I beg to differ, you seemed very upset when granny gave me a new outfit." he teased. He loved rilling his master up.

"That wasn't jealousy, I was just upset that she'd gotten a servant such fine garments without consulting me."

"Is that it?" he grin grew wider. "I thought you didn't like that granny spent so much time with me. Me..who's not even related in anyway."

"Well your wrong!" Ciel spat back and left the room in a huff. Making Sebastian giggle. It'd been the most fun he'd had in a while and he was rather enjoying it.

* * *

Ciel pretty much didn't speak to Sebastian for almost the whole day. Not even to have his dessert brought to him. It frustrated him to no end. He made sure to make some extra brussel sprouts to feed his master for acting so childish. Though he did see his master taking glances at him from time to time. Even as he served the meal with consisted of boiled chicken, the brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes and another salad.

"Oh my did you two have a fight?" Granny asked as if she was perplexed.

Sebastian looked at his master who just scoffed at him. "Not at all, it seems the young master is just in a fowl mood."

"I see." she said solemly, then cheered up in an instant. "I'd love to hear your violin playing again Sebastian, it was wonderful."

"I'm honored at such praise." He bowed to her, gaining a glare from Ciel. "Shall I prepare the drawing room then?"

"Oh that would be lovely." she smiled.

As soon as he started to walk, he almost tripped. His master, whom he thought was mature for his age. Was clinging to his left leg like a koala. He was shocked that his master had even done such a thing. As well as amazed that his master was able to move so quickly for his attack. "Young master please stop this childish behavior." he sighed. He'd had enough for one day. So he picked up his leg and tried to gently pull his master off. But it seemed his master gained some sort of super human strength because he wouldn't budge. He tried kicking his leg out and shaking it, but still his master wouldn't relent. He hobbled towards the chair and tried to peel his master off his leg while sitting. But that didn't work either. Not that he couldn't get his master off his leg if he'd used his natural strength. But he was sure it'd be hard to explain to Granny if he'd done as such.

"Ciel i'm surprised at you, what's with all this foolishness?" Granny asked, though it was obvious she was amused by the scene before her.

There was an inaudible whisper that couldn't be heard.

"Pardon?" she said with a brow raised.

"He's mine." he repeated in a whine, as he rubbed his face into Sebastian's calf. Making Granny and Sebastian stare at him in confusion.

Granny and Sebastian just smiled, though Sebastian's smile, was obviously a sign he was laughing. "Ciel i'm surprised at you. I'm not out to take your butler away."

Ciel looked at her, but still hadn't let go yet. He now felt, really foolish. And was currently using Sebastian's leg to hid his embarassed face, partially.

She held out something that she'd hidden under the table at him. It was a coat. Exactly like the one Sebastian wore earlier. But it was blue. He gave her a puzzled look. "I thought it'd be adorable to get you two matching outfits. But I wanted to make sure Sebastian's fit since he's older."

Finally Ciel let got and picked up the jacket from her. He smiled a small smile. "Tsk."

Sebastian tried to hide his laughter. He was failing miserably.

"Oh you stop that now! A butler shouldn't laugh at his master."

"I apologize Granny." he stated after he regained his composure.

"Now then.." She started as she got up. "I'd like to play a game of chess while Sebastian plays the violin."

* * *

The happy moment, was now dead. Ciel was angered as he looked at the chess board. Sebastian had finished playing his concerto and was hoovering over the board as he watched the pieces be moved with intense strategy. Ciel Phantomhive, chess expert, was loosing...to Granny. He was currently trying to figure out how to win, but he couldn't think of anything. So he moved his king in an attempt to save it.

"Check." Granny stated.

He tried again.

"Check."

Grumbling..he moved his piece one last time.. slowly taking his finger off his king. That's when Granny attacked.

"Check..mate."

Ciel in shock looked at the board to see if she was lying, but alas, she'd won.

"That was a wonderful display of strategy." Sebastian stated as he started to clean up the pieces.

"Shut up!" Ciel shouted as he tossed a pawn at him. But Sebastian caught it easily.

"Ciel, don't throw things at other people. It's rude."

"Yes Granny." he stated while grumbling. Sebastian giggling.

"Now how about I make us some tea." She got up.

"Granny, that proposal for marriage is still active." Sebastian stated as she walked up to the tea kettle. It was his job to serve the tea, but Granny liked to do things herself.

"Oh hush. You shouldn't make an old fetch's heart like mine flutter so. You'll make me go into a coma." she giggled.

* * *

After Granny had gone to bed. Sebastian and Ciel stayed in the parlor.

"Sebastian no more television for you." Ciel stated.

"If I may ask why young master? That seems abit unfair."

"Because of those cheesy lines. Those were from a show. Make your own cheesy lines."

He laughed slightly "Oh? But I thought you'd appreciate the random use of marriage lines."

"No. Your new order, no proposing to anyone!"

"But what if I find a girl that I like young master?" he mischeviously asked.

"Pft, when will you have time for a girl? Your my servant, you don't have time for girls or dating."

"Ah, but i'm also a demon..I could easily sneak out, have a lady for a few rounds, and come back, get a shower, get the servants all set to do their duties, all before you wake up for breakfast."

"Have you ever done that?" Ciel raised a brow.

"No young master."

"Good cause if you do, i'll beat you with a stick, then make you clean up the mess. That's another order, no rebellion in the name of lust!"

"Yes my lord." Sebastian smiled. Then he giggled again.

"What's so funny?"

"I apologize young master...it's just...that I have a confession to make..."

"Oh?" Ciel was completely attentive now. Never had Sebastian confided in him.

"That pant jiggle...what was that?" he started cracking up. "Do..all humans..." he tried to keep his composure while laughing, "Do that?"

Ciel started cracking up too, "No....that was...all...Granny."

They both ended up on floor because they were laughing to hard. "Can....you imagine...her doing that to Bard?" Sebastian sputtered out.."He'd be so embarassed..."

Ciel ended up laughing harder because the image was now in his mind. They were laughing so hard that the others except Granny came into the room, shocked to find them on the floor laughing. When Sebastian and Ciel saw Bard, they just laughed even harder.

"Did I miss something?"

"Who knows?" Maylene stated as she thought Sebastian and Ciel had gone insane.

* * *

_Yay! Totally random chapter with no meaning! I had to write this cause the pant jiggle. Oh how many guys who must of been embarassed by that. XD Why do mom's do that anyway? I'm not a mom myself, and I do get the point of it. But why in public in front of people? XD I mean really. _

_Anyway I hope this atleast brought some people some amusement. I know I laughed while writting it, but I also know it started off kinda boring. I'm sorry!!!_


	9. Happy Special Dayswith a prize

Something New 9

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

* * *

Ciel stared at the letter before him with a hint of embarassment. It seemed his granny was at work behind the scenes when it came to this letter. It wasn't an unusual letter, but the way of it was. It was on the pinkest paper he'd ever seen, with just a hint of a perfume fragrance coming from it. He didn't even know pink paper existed til he got this letter. A sneeze came from in front of his desk, making him jump as it was unexpected.

"Excuse me young master, it seems i'm allergic to the perfume on the letter." Sebastian apologized as he held his handkerchief to his nose and sneezed again. He'd been sneezing since the arrival of the letter, and throughout the time he'd brought it to Ciel's office. Even now when it was no longer holding it he just kept sneezing. Bringing Ciel great amusement as he'd never seen him get so much as a sniffle before.

Ciel made a note to ask Elizabeth was the name of the perfume was so he could get a few to torture the demon with on occasion. He had to admit though it was rather nice to see Sebastian have a normal ability such as sneezing. Though the way he sneezed, and Ciel would never tell him this, was just too adorable for words. It was like when a puppy sneezed. Abit loud, but high pitched in a cute way. Even a girl didn't have such an adorable sneeze. He supposed since it wasn't in Sebastian's nature that the way he sneezed was just how he was accustomed to doing it. He sneezed a few more times, looking very annoyed as he did so. "Sebastian i'd like you to prepare for Elizabeth's arrival. She'll be here tomorrow."

Another sneeze, "Yes my lord." he replied, sounding slightly stuffed. His nose had taken on a pink hue from all his sneezing.

"And don't sneeze on any of my food. I don't want any demon germs in my meals."

"I'm sure i'll be fine one i'm away from that letter young master."

"Even so I don't want to take any chances, go wear a face mask or something until it fully clears up."

"I under...unn.. under.." he started then sneezed again, sniffling abit. "Understand." he sniffled again.

* * *

Once he was away from the letter, it only took a few minutes for Sebastian's sinuses to clear up, enabling him to regain his sense of smell. He touched his nose as it was still a tad red and stung abit. He'd never sneezed so much in his entire life, and it took just one letter with perfume on it to make him sneeze what he deemed too many times. He sighed as he looked at his nose in the window. "How long until it goes back to normal?" he asked himself. Still patting his nose abit. He sighed again then made his way down to the kitchen to prepare lunch since he wasn't sneezing or sniffling anymore. He made a mental note to hurt the other servants if they said anything about his nose. When he entered, the servants were all at the counter, strangly with granny. They looked as though they were having an intense discussion. "What are you all doing?" he raised a brow.

"Oh. Sebastian perfect timing." Granny said cheerily. "Your just in time to partake in the pool."

"Pool?" he said confused. Thinking it was something that dealt with water.

"Yeap, we're placing bets on when the young master will kiss the little lady." Bard said with a smile, "I have tuesday."

Sebastian looked at the paper. It was a calander that was drawn out, with the days that Elizabeth would be staying circled in red. Just as Bard said he had Tuesday, which was the last day of Elizabeths stay. Maylene had Saturday, Finni had Friday, Tanaka had Thursday, and Granny had Wednesday, which was tomorrow. Which left Sunday and Monday. "That's silly, why bet on when he'll kiss her? It could be years from now." he responded.

"Ah, but you seem to forget Sebastian." Granny waved a finger. "These young people these days do not wait." her smile grew.

* * *

When Elizabeth arrived, she wasted no time cutifying the house. Sebastian wondered how was it that out of everyone in the house, Maylene always seemed to be the one to manage to get away unscathed. Even he as a demon never seemed to get away from her putting things on him. So here he was with a utterably pink ribbon bow on his head, though he wondered how Elizabeth got it to stay on his short hair, bunny hair clips on his fringes and to his distain, a pink dress that went to his knees, with puffy sleeves and a white apron. He looked like a short haired Alice from Alice in wonderland. She'd even made him wear shoes and white stockings. He never understood her obession with making males wear dresses, or making him wear pink. He hated pink. He made a mental note to let Bard do the laundry with one of his subordinates later.

"Sebastian is sooo cute! Like Alice in Wonderland!" she squealed.

'More like the Alice the chester cat threw up on.' he thought. Forcing a smile on his face. "I'm so honored you thought of me Lady Elizabeth." He looked at the others who were equally dressed the same way but in different dresses minus Maylene. Bard was Queen Elizabeth, which Sebastian thought he made one ugly woman. Finni was dress like some weird bunny thing in a dress, with ears and paws with a tail to match. And Tanaka, who seemed to be the only one happy to even be dressed cutely, was dressed like Antoinette again only with a dress because Elizabeth stated he made a good version of her.

Finni and Maylene were laughing at him. So he did what he usually did, he knocked them out. Though strangely Bard didn't take the opportunity. "You going to laugh too?" he asked as he popped his knuckles in preparation to punch him.

"Hmmm no." Bard stated as if he was in thought.

This surprised Sebastian, "That's very nice of you for once."

"Well I can honestly say i've no reason to. Especially since I get to see those great legs again." he smirked as he looked at Sebastian's legs.

Within moments Bard had three lumps on his head and was twitching on the floor. "It seems you learned nothing from the last time."

"Ahh Sebastian, Alice isn't supposed to be violent!" Elizabeth whined. "You'll get a stain on your dress."

"I apologize." he bowed, then heard a whistle. Looking below he saw Bards head behind him lifting is dress in the back a little.

Bard now had a total of 6 lumps on his head, a few missing teeth and a black eye. "Ow...ow...ow.."

Ciel came in and was surprised at everyone, but when he got to Sebastian he started giggling.

"One word and your dessert will be nothing but vegetables for a month." Sebastian growled as he crossed his arms.

Ciel stiffled his giggles and coughed like he hadn't been giggling in the first place. "What's this about Elizabeth?"

"Waaaiii!" she shouted as she tackled Ciel and rubbed her face against his and huggled him tightly. "Aren't they cute Ciel? Just like a fairy tale come to life."

Sebastian lifted the hem of his dress a little. 'Fairy tale? Bleh.' he thought as he looked at the horrid pink.

"I got the idea from when Sebastian was dressed like the countess!" she said eagerly.

This made Sebastian shudder and gag. He rubbed at his shoulders to try to make the sudden chill he had go away. Ciel just looked at her like she was crazy. Granny came in and squeeled with delight. Which surprised everyone since no one even thought she could make such a loud noise.

"Sebastian you look so beautiful!!" she exclaimed as she grabbed his hands.

"Th...thank you granny." he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice. A single tear on his eye to show he didn't really like the compliment. When she went to the others he went to a corner and sulked, moving his finger in a circle on the floor as he tried to rid himself of the compliments he was getting in a dress. "I don't want to be pretty in a dress." he kept mumbling. Apparently granny's comment was the final blow to his pride.

"Wahhhh Sebastian!!" Finni cried as he hugged him from behind. "I don't want to wear this dress!!"

Sebastian did the one thing he felt like doing. He punched Finni away from himself. "Don't hug me when i'm sulking!" he shouted angrily. Finni landed in the wall dizzy from the punch.

"We should have a party Ciel!" Elizabeth announced, oblivious to what just happened.

"Ummm." Ciel tried to dodge the point, but her eyes made it hard. "How about..in a few days?"

"Yay!" she shouted.

* * *

It was now Sunday evening. The day Ciel was dreading. The day even Sebastian didn't want to see. But here it was. The house was cuteified to the extreme that nothing was left untouched. Not even the servants room. Each was decorated with bunnies, ribbon, clouds and glitter. All throughout the house. To make matters worse, even there clothing hadn't gone uncutified.

"Sebastian stop sulking." Ciel stated with annoyance. He was wearing a blue suit that looked like it was for a play, with stockings, puffy pants and a shirt.

Sebastian was once again in the corner. Sulking more than he had the other day. Elizabeth apparently had wasted no time in getting him another pink dress. It was slightly longer than the first one. But had more bows and yellow flowers on it. His hair was tied in two short pig tails with ribbon. "I think i'm going to throw up." he mumbled.

"Your being dramatic! Suck it up!" he shouted at him.

Sebastian gave him a gloomy look at him, one that clearly stated he probably would throw up.

"Oie...uhhh are you okay?" Ciel slid off his chair.

Sebastian put a hand over his mouth, and gagged.

"Don't throw up in here!!" Ciel panicked, ran to him and tried to pull him to get him to atleast go to the bathroom. "Get up!"

But it was too late, was in point range when Sebastian barfed all over him. After a few pants. Sebastian took out a handkerchief and wiped at his mouth. "I feel better now." he smiled.

"Well I don't! Look at me! You got your barf all over me!"

"I got it on me too." he smiled.

"You plotted this didn't you?" Ciel gave him a wary look.

"Now young master? How can someone plan throwing up at the proper time to which there would barely be enough time to change into something more suitable?"

"You bastard!"

* * *

Two baths, horrid clothing thrown in the laundry, and a whining Elizabeth later, Sebastian and Ciel were more presentable and in there usual clothing.

"You could of atleast called us to the study!" Bard whined.

"I haven't the faintest idea what your talking about." Sebastian slyly looked to the side. Though it seemed once again, Maylene had managed to get away from Elizabeth. He made a mental note to ask her to how him her tactics on the matter. He was pretty sure his plan wouldn't work a second time. Atleast not immediately.

"Oh Sebastian it's a pitty your dress was ruined. But are you feeling well? Do you need some rest?" Granny asked, this was what he called retrubution for his actions, because Granny had been following him the entire time after it'd happened. He barely managed to avoid getting a thermomiter shoved up his rear. Granny apparently wasn't a fan of the new ones that went in the mouth. Or of modern medicine for that matter. She tried to get him to eat a dead lizard. Even as a demon he had his limits to what he'd put in his mouth.

"I'm fine now Granny. Really.." he backed away from her slowly. She was holding some other old fashioned medicines, like tonics, leeches, and other things. 'Where in the world did she find leeches this time of year?' he pondered. It was still winter. Not exactly a time when leeches would be an easy find.

"Wow look at all the cakes Sebastian made!" Finni drooled. It was apparent he wanted some.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka stated as he was wearing the blonde wig.

"If only Sebastian's dress hadn't been ruined. I would of loved to see him dance with Bard." Granny stated in disappointment.

Sebastian and Bard looked at one another, and took a few steps away from one another. Sebastians expression was clearly stating don't even think about it, while Bards was one of more, I can't dance but it would of been nice if I wasn't fearing for my life right now.

"Why don't we start?" Granny clapped. Allowing Sebastian the chance to play his violin to let everyone else dance. After a time, the treats were served, and a few times Granny tried to get everyone to eat the dead lizard stating it was food for ones health. Tanaka ate it in one bite, making everyone except Granny green in the face.

"I think i'm going to get a drink of water." Ciel stated while abit green. As he walked he tripped over the carpet and fell on Elizabeth. Giving her a very unexpected kiss. It was prolonged, both were stunned and took a few moments to part. When they looked around the others were in awe, Maylene was blushing along with Bard and Finni. Granny and Tanaka had smiles on there faces. And Sebastian was just down right surprised.

"Young...young master!" Maylene stuttered, as he was still on top of Elizabeth.

Ciel coughed and got up quickly and helped her up. "It's not what it looked like! You all saw me fall!"

"Way to go young master." Bard stated with a thumbs up. "Pretending to fall was a great tactic."

"I really did fall!" Ciel panicked.

"Wayyy! I got my first kiss from Ciel!" Elizabeth shouted the moment her shock wore off, she had hearts in her eyes and was spinning about the room at a fast pace. Chanting over and over the same phrase.

"I fell! Why are you all acting it was a plot!" Ciel shouted in embarrassment. "Sebastian!" he looked to his butler. Who had his back turned to him like he was reading something. "...Sebastian what are you reading!?"

Sebastian turned around, he was holding a paper that had apparently been folded at one point and had his pocket watch out as well.

"What the hell?!" Ciel cursed as he saw Sebastian's own confusion. He tried to reach for the paper, but Sebastian just held it out of reach.

"Granny?" Sebastian looked to her. "Does it mean that I won since it's past midnight?"

"Eh?!" Ciel shreeked.

Granny looked at her own watch. "I do believe so. It is now Monday after all."

"Wait does it even count!" Bard shouted.

"The pool was he had to kiss her, no one stated how." Sebastian stated as he put his watch back in his pocket. This gave Ciel the chance to grab the paper though.

"You all made a bet on when Elizabeth and I would kiss?!"

"Well...uhh.." The other servants started, not finding the words. Elizabeth didn't even seem to care though, she was just happy she got her first kiss.

Sebastian looked away himself. "Granny started it." he stated.

"Granny!!! Don't use my servants for your own games!"

"It was just abit of fun. See, Elizabeth had Sunday." She pointed on the paper.

"Elizabeth you too!!" he whined.

"Ciel wasn't it fun!" she hugged him. "We should do it again!"

"I feel cheated!" he shouted.

"Young master you shouldn't worry. It's not like the Marchioness will find out....I hope."

Ciel blushed but was still angry. "I'll get you all back for this!"

"Ho, ho, ho."

* * *

Sebastian was preparing Ciel for bed. He was still pouting even as Sebastian tucked him in. "If you keep pouting you'll get wrinkles early young master." he poked at his masters head.

"Shut up you! You betrayed me!"

"How did I do that young master?"

"You placed a bet on your master! That's betrayal!"

Sebastian stood straight, "Ah but young master, I thought you were fond of games."

Ciel clicked his tounge and turned his face away.

"Good night." Sebastian said as he started walking away, but he didn't get very far.

"What did you win?"

Sebastian turned around, abit confused. "Excuse me?"

"For the pool. What did you win?"

"Oh..that..well...." He blushed as his eyes shifted.

"Come on tell me what you won!" Ciel shouted in a tantrum.

Sebastian just smiled at Ciel, and held up a small object to his face. It was a small medal that hung by a chain. Upon closer inspection Ciel saw it was in the shape of a cats head.

"You cat aholic." he mumbled.

"Atleast I didn't ask for a real cat young master." he rubbed his face against his prize. "Though I really want one in the house."

"Like i'd let you keep it." he stated before falling back into his pillows.

"Make sure nothing rises during the night." Sebastian teased, then dodged a pillow that'd be flung at him. He laughed even after he left the room. Ciel's face was the brightest red that'd ever been seen.

"You bastard!!"

* * *

_Another chapter. This was done for abit, I was just fixing some parts I didn't like so much. Of course my next chapter that I put out will probably be for Kigeki cause I haven't updated it in a while. But i'm still working on it. Which is why it's been so slow._

_I was disappointed I didn't get to get this out before Valentines day. But oh well. All's good. I'm on spring break so i should be able to get some chapters out to all my fics before classes start up again._

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter =3._


	10. Again! Aren't we done with this yet!

Something New 10

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

* * *

Sebastian was in the kitchen making a special dinner. The reality of it was, it was only a special dinner because the Marchioness was paying them another visit and was bringing a guest. He wasn't told who the guest was, but he knew if this guest was a friend of the Marchioness he was expecting someone of a similar personality to her. So everything had to be perfect. He'd even made very sure the other servants didn't do anything to mess it up.

"Ahh some garlic, rosemary..should I use roasted potatoes as a side or carrots?" he kept on to himself. As he mixed and chopped everything for dinner. "And what about dessert? Something with fruit? Or something chocolate?" he said his thoughts aloud. It was a wonder if he realized he was even doing it. He stirred the sauce he'd been working on as he flipped some fish in the other pan with his other hand. Multitasking to get everything done in time. "Oh maybe we should have rice?" he said aloud as he went to grab some pepper.

"Hard at work there? Sebastian." Ciel said with a smile. Though he could understand his actions. Ciel prior to anything had made sure his desk was completely cleaned of any form of paperwork that had ever existed atop it. As far as he was concerned he had the easy job compared to Sebastian at this moment. But he couldn't help but rub it in. Though he was stressed from having to do all his paperwork so quickly. He was pretty sure his fingers were going to fall off after a certain point. And were still a little numb even as he watched Sebastian in the kitchen.

"Young master do you want a chocolate dessert or a fruit one?" Sebastian asked almost like anything Ciel had even said had passed over him.

Ciel raised a brow in annoyance but said nothing of it. "Why not both? Like a chocolate cake with bananas or something?"

"Bananas aren't in season young master." he rushed back to the stove to move the sauce to an unlit part of the stove and put a new pot on top of it.

"It's fine, just do whatever."

"I can't just do anything young master, the dessert is the ending part of the meal and must go perfectly with the setting." he rambled.

Ciel was alittle happy he was still at the door and away from the knives in that moment. "Your freaking out aren't you?!"

"I am not!" Sebastian stopped completely. "I'm just stressed for time! There's too much to do and not enough time to do it in! Why of all the times she usually came early, did she decide to come over last minute?!"

"Sebastian why don't you just take a few minutes to breathe and calm down." Ciel tried using his hands to shield himself. Though he doubted it'd do anything. Deep down he knew Sebastian was right. It hadn't even been an hour since they'd received a telegram from the Marchioness stating she'd be arriving within the next two hours. Barely enough time to get anything done. Much less a full course meal. Sebastian even went as far as to lock the other servants in the basement to keep them out of trouble. He was also pretty sure Sebastian had used his demon speed to go to town to get high quality meat, because the roast on the counter, he was pretty sure they didn't have prior to the telegram. How else would he have known bananas weren't in season?

Sebastian took a few breaths. "It's just bad enough the Marchioness is coming. We don't need two of her in the same house." he calmly stated. Visibly calming down significantly after his small breather. He placed a hand to his head to move his hair out of his face.

"It might not be that bad. But who knows. We'll just take it all in stride."

Sebastian gave him a look that clearly stated he was crazy.

"If not then atleast you know I can afford to put us all in a mental institution....with running water." Ciel stated before leaving the kitchen. Smiling as he did so, as he heard Sebastian go back to his work with haste.

* * *

That evening went agonizing slow for Sebastian. So slow that he thought he'd actually seen his master grow an inch. Which wasn't true of course. Finally the ladies had arrived and he was utterably shocked. He'd never seen anyone so huge in his life. And this woman was only pregnant. His hand just seemed to stay attached to the handle as he continued to stare. He couldn't even find his voice to greet them into the manor.

"Ahem.." Frances coughed into hand, making him remember where he was, very briefly.

"Ah excuse, please come in." he stated as he moved to the side of the door to allow them in. Completely forgetting to use the proper introduction. He hadn't even bowed yet simply because he was still staring. He wanted to know how could she move since she was so big. Incredibly she seemed to even move with ease. He'd seen many pregnant woman in his time, but they'd never looked like their bellies could pop at any given moment. He was also wondering if he'd made enough food. Or if he'd have to make a few more dishes just for the woman alone.

"Sebastian stop dawdling!" Frances shouted at him.

"Ah...pardon me." he said embarassed. Finally taking the time to close the door.

"You'd think he'd never seen a pregnant woman before." Frances stated to her friend who merely laughed in return.

"Do you want to feel the baby?" she asked in a pleasant tone, completely the opposite of what he was expecting. She grabbed at his hand and placed it on her belly, not even waiting for his reply. His eyes widened as he felt her stomach through his glove. It felt strange, harder than he was expecting and he practically jumped when something moved and kicked towards his hand. Even as a demon the concept of babies in the actual womb was a mystery. Demons understood the development about as much as humans did. They were probably even more curious about it as they could hear every little movement. Giving them a childlike innocence when a woman awaiting her child came around. He'd also never seen a baby actually be born before. It took all his mental strength to keep his instinct down and to prevent himself from letting out an animalistic whimper.

"I think you tramatized him." Frances smiled evilly. She was rather enjoying his predicament. She'd never seen Sebastian look so lost before.

"Sebastian! What are you doing?!" Came Ciel's shout from the second floor. He appeared a moment later at the top of the stairs. Surprised that Sebastian hadn't even mentioned they'd arrived yet. He come down the stairs within a few minutes, but still Sebastian had yet to even move. He was just staring at his hand on the woman's belly, and he looked like he wanted to cry. Making Ciel raise a brow at the sight. "Hey.." he tapped his cane on his shoulder. Expecting some form of movement. But he received none.

"I think you should let him go Clare, I think he's to scared to move while his hand is on your belly." Frances responded. Still smiling even while Clare smiled back and slowly let go of his hand. Sebastian slowly took his hand off her belly as well as a few steps back.

"I think he's still broken." Clare giggled.

"It's alright, this is a pretty good payback for the egg incident." Frances stated even as she lightly slapped Sebastian's cheek a few times in an attempt to make him come out of his stupor.

* * *

After calming down in the kitchen, Sebastian had managed to serve dinner without anymore delays. Though he still kept sneaking glances at Clare's belly. Ciel was very amused by this about as much as Frances was. The ladies simply thought it was just him being a man. While Ciel knew it was because of his demon instinct. Sebastian always seemed to get this way when there was anything pregnant around. Though usually he'd whine and pace around, sit on his heels and continue on until it went away. Also, usually the demon hadn't been so close before, and the other pregnant things had been animals and a few women here and there. So apart of him was worried he'd blow his cover since more of his instincts came out instead of human notions. Even now while Ciel sat sipping his tea while listening to his aunt, Sebastian was crawling on his hands and knees, slowly making his way towards Clare who was paying attention to the conversation. Ciel was sweating a little bit as he saw him draw near. Even when he reached to poke at her belly, Ciel's eye widened in shock and made him jump out of his seat. "Sebastian!"

This made the demon yelp and pull his hand back immediately as everyone stared at him while he was sitting on the floor. The ladies stared at him in surprise since they hadn't noticed he'd even been there. What's more they'd never seen anyone yelp before.

"Oh for goodness sake, why do men have to act so silly when there's a baby on the way?" Frances chided.

"I thought it was rather adorable." Clare giggled, even as Sebastian moved slightly closer like a dog to it's master. "He's like a pet!" she smiled as she picked him up by hooking her hands under his arms and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Though he didn't seem to notice since his gaze was still focused on her belly. Even when she moved him to sit beside her. She laughed even harder when he seemed to work up the courage to lean over and poke her belly a few times. "That tickles."

"Sebastian stop that! Your being rude!" Ciel shouted at him. Nervous since his aunt was glaring at him. An obvious sign that she'd have enough.

"Is there really a baby in there?" he asked. Speaking for the first time in a while. He'd gone from poking to patting her belly. Apparently Clare was very ticklish. Because she laughed everytime he lightly patted her. "It's so squishy.." he kept on. Luckily he wasn't pushing very hard it seemed. Or Ciel was pretty sure the baby would of popped out.

"Oh I give up. Men are just plain silly. Sebastian by far is the silliest of all." Frances stated as she watched with a mild amused look on her face. Her glare went away when Clare had laughed at being patted. "And it looks like we've lost our tea server at the same time."

Ciel put a hand to his head as he felt embarassed. He couldn't believe what was happening before him. He was just grateful no one else was around to see it.

"Good help is so hard to find these days." Clare laughed.

"Indeed. So have you lost your mucus plug yet?" Frances asked randomly. She'd asked it like she was asking for the time.

"Mucus plug? What's that?" Sebastian asked as he kept his hand still on her belly. He was now looking at Frances with great interest. Clare even started petting him like he was a dog. Though he didn't seem to notice or care.

Frances smiled very demonically. Almost giving the impression she was a demon herself. She probably was considered one by some people's standards. "Do you really want to know?"

Ciel just sipped at his tea, and prayed that soon they would leave. He was going to give Sebastian a very long talk about his actions today. Sebastian and strangely enough Clare nodded with enthusiasm. Both equally curious.

"It's like this plug that protects the baby from infections while in the womb. It kind of looks like a large thing of snot."

"Ewww! That's inside of me?!" Clare bellowed. Making Sebastian jump as he was assaulted by her loud shreek. Hurting his sensitive ears.

"Well since your so close to being due. You might of lost it already. Most women don't even notice." Frances replied, though it seemed like she was disappointed. Possibly due to not getting the reaction she wanted from Sebastian. "That's not as bad as other things that could happen during labor. I hope your prepared for the happiest and most embarassing day of your life." she smiled. Making everyone abit confused. Leaving them with a single word in thought. Embarassing.

"Ah my belly is so big, it's a wonder someone couldn't make a shamisen out of it. It's so stretched. I hope I can get my figure back." Clare spoke as she rubbed her belly. Sebastian had finally gotten off his seat and was refilling everyones teacups with fresh tea. Though Ciel could tell he was still abit interested in the creation in Clare's belly.

"Shamisen?" Ciel questioned. Unsure of what it was.

"It's a japanese playing instrument. Clare is very interested in the japanese culture. More of an obession really."

"Frances i'm not obessed! It's just a hobby! A hobby!" she responded with great embarassment. Her cheek red as she looked at Frances sheepishly.

"You say that now, but you have a room filled with so many objects from there. I'm surprised you haven't opened your own museum."

Sebastian poured Frances a cup of tea and passed it to her. Pretending he'd been the good butler the whole time. "A shamisen..how it is made it sounds interesting." he stated, not realizing he'd spoken out of place. Earning him a glare from Frances as she sipped her tea.

"Oh it's very interesting actually. For the covering they use the belly skin of an uninjured female cat." Clare stated with a smile.

This made Sebastian drop the teacup he was handing to his master. Ciel hissed as the hot tea fell into his lap making him jump. "Owww!!" he shouted even as Sebastian just stood in a tramatized state.

"What?!" he squeeked loudly.

"It's rather very interesting actually, you see they..." she started to explain but was cut off.

"How cruel! How could they do such a thing to such a magnificant creature?!" he whined. At that moment Ciel thought he was a pretty good impression of Finni when he cried in Sebastian. He was in the pose as well. With light tears in his eyes. Ciel wished he had a camera. The image was priceless.

"Oh my I didn't mean to upset you." Clare stated stunned at his reaction.

"It's quite alright, Clare. You see, just as you obsess over the japanese culture. Sebastian...has a great obession with cats." Frances smiled evilly.

Ciel snickered as Clare looked as though she were insulted abit at being told she was obessed again. Sebastian was still in his same teary eyed pose leaning over her like he would pounce on her at any given moment in tears.

"He's not obessed, he's just...overly excentric!" she made an excuse for him. Almost like she was using it to defend herself as well.

"No it's obession." Ciel responded. Glad he was no longer being burned by the hot tea. "Trust me it isn't anything less. If it's a cat he'll go up to it without thinking."

"It's just a unique way of enjoying it!" Clare whined. "Really it is!"

"So unique that when he sees a tiger he goes up to it and pets it like it's a regular cat and doesn't mind that it bit him....twice." Ciel replied. Getting odd looks from Frances and Clare. They both looked at Sebastian, who was glaring at Clare with teary eyes.

"Bit..by ...a tiger?" Frances raised a brow. "Twice?" she finished off looking him over, as she thought it was rather odd he didn't seem to be wounded.

"In the head." Ciel smiled as she casually stated this like he was saying something like a comment.

"In the head?!" Clare and Frances shouted at the same time. Making Ciel crack up with laughter while Sebastian just kept saying over and over, it's cruel, it's cruel.

* * *

After a very through check of Sebastian's scalp, Frances finally released him. She'd taken a good 30 minutes to check every part to see if he'd really been bitten by a tiger. "Was he..really bitten by a tiger twice?"

"It was a play bite." Sebastian smiled with glee like it was a holy artifact that he'd received that'd come from the heavens. He tapped his index fingers together at the memory of it.

"Really!?!" Clare squeeled with delight. "Did...did the tiger have golden eyes?"

"Oh god..." Ciel stated embarassed with his hands covering his face. It seemed Clare was also obessed with cats. But either didn't admit it, or it was only when it came to exotic cats.

"Oh yes! And it's paws were very plump! It was so charming!"

Frances just sipped her tea like nothing was going on around her. Ciel gave her a wary look. "Just what I need, obessors."

"Oh...oh my!!" Clares voice erupted suddenly.

"What happened?!" Frances shouted, suddenly on full alert.

"My water broke!"

"I'll get hot water." Frances stated, seemingly as calm as ever.

"I'll call a doctor." Ciel stated with a hint of panic.

"MY RUG!!" Sebastian shouted louder than anyone. Which gave a very, very brief silence. He was pointing at the spot where Clare's birthing water had fallen, almost as if he was hoping it'd go away if he just made it known it was there.

"DO YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT NOW?!" Ciel shouted in aggitation. Even as Frances was helping Clare to a seat.

"It'll stain the carpet! And I just cleaned it today!" he whined.

"Oh my god I think it's bringing luggage!" Clare shouted in pain.

"Can't you hold it!?" Sebastian turned at her frantic with his hands in his hair. Apparently he was no more than useless in this type of situation and was only able to think of keeping the rug from getting stained.

"Oh sure! And while we're at it why don't we throw a party!" Clare spat in anger.

"The doctor is on his way." Frances stated, since she had to be the one to call the doctor and forgo getting the hot water. "Clare do the breathing exercises I told you about."

"Oh my god, i'm never letting my husband touch me ever again!!" Clare shouted, then glared at Sebastian and Ciel, "All men are bastards! You hear me! I hope your genitals all shrivel off and turn to dust!"

This somehow, through an insult, knocked Sebastian back to his senses, but not in the way Ciel would of liked. "NEXT TIME KEEP THE LOCK CLOSED BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!!!" he shouted. But within a few minutes had hot water in the room, and many sheets that he'd planned to burn later.

"Ciel I think your going to need to repremand your butler very much so later." Frances less than hinted.

"I understand Auntie." he replied with a sigh. He was then urked when he saw Sebastian actually using one of the buckets of hot water to clean the unintentional mess Clare had made. "Sebastian! Stop that and help!" Sebastian just turned at him as if he didn't know what he'd been doing wrong since he was on his hands and knees scrubing at the stain on the rug at a high speed. He then looked at Clare, then back at his master.

"I don't know how to deliver babies."

"Well now your going to learn!" Ciel shouted as he shoved Sebastian in front of Clare.

"Don't just sit there! Get her knickers off!" Frances ordered.

With abit of effort, they'd managed to take off Clares stockings and undergarments. It would of been easier, but Clare had been kicking as she didn't want anyone to see under her skirts.

"Is that a bubble?" Ciel asked, looking a little grossed out.

"That's the head you idiot!" Frances shouted back.

Sebastian just stared as if he was mesmerized by it for a moment. "....Are you sure? It doesn't seem very head like."

"Yes i'm sure you moron! Now help her!" she spat at him, "Clare push when you have a contraction!"

Clare instead tried to close her legs. "Nooo! He's looking at my woman hood!"

"DON'T CLOSE YOUR LEGS YOU'LL CHOKE THE BABY!" Frances said in a panic. "Besides he needs to look in order to help the baby!"

"Are you sure we shouldn't of shaved her first? She's kinda hairy...the baby might get rug burn or something." Sebastian stated bluntly. Making Clare blush profusely. Ciel blushed himself, wishing he was somewhere else.

"Someone get me a doctor!!" she shouted.

"There's no time to wait for the doctor. You'll have to deal with this. And Sebastian stop poking at the baby's head!"

"Ah..sorry..I don't know what i'm supposed to do....it's so squishy. How sure are you that this is a head?"

"Ahhh!!" Clare shouted in pain.

* * *

Finally after a few hours of labor, somehow they'd managed to deliver the baby. The doctor had arrived after the birth, but in time to cut the umbilicle cord. He commended everyone for helping to safely deliever Clare's baby. Though by Frances it was termed 'mostly safely'. Especially since Sebastian kept poking at the baby and commenting on how squishy it was.

"Congrats Madam, it's a beautiful baby girl." the doctor stated as he handed the now clean baby to Clare.

"Ohhh, how adorable, I could just eat you up." she said as she hugged her new born.

"You did an excellent job." Frances stated with a smile at her. "Even if a certain...someone, was less than useful."

"I told you I didn't know how to deliver babies." Sebastian defended himself. After a certain point he'd had enough and backed away. But was promptly forced to help with the delivery anyway.

"Well now you know how you came into this world. Sticky and messy." Frances chided.

"And squishy..don't forget squishy." he added, though it was obvious he was more than amused.

"Well you stop with the squishy thing already!" Ciel shouted at him. He was completely green, the moment he saw the fluids gush from Clare after the baby came out he was more than ready to throw up. "And make sure to burn those clothes! Why haven't you changed yet?!"

Sebastian stared at his master for a moment then looked down at his uniform. He'd been in the line of fire when the fluids came out. He simply shrugged.

"And make sure you get a long bath!"

"Yes my lord." he bowed.

"Ewwww don't touch anything either."

"But if I don't touch anything how will I get back to my room?" he asked with a smile.

"Don't be a smart ass with me!"

"But I love you!" he said cheerily and then hugged his master tightly, making a squishy noise on contact.

"Ewww!!! Ewww ewww ewww ewww ewwww!!! EEEWWW!!!" Ciel shrieked as he tried to push Sebastian off. Frances just turned and tried to pretend she wasn't laughing, and doing a terrible job of it, as her shoulders shook.

* * *

Mother, child and aunt were gone to the hospital. The house was clean once more, as were master and butler.

"Sebastian...I have a question." Ciel asked as he stood still for Sebastian to dress him.

"Yes young master?" he responded as he buttoned Ciel's fresh shirt.

"How were you born?"

"I don't understand." he raised a brow.

"I mean, were you hatched from an egg? Did you just come to life? Were you just created?"

"I have parents just as you do young master." he stated as he got up to aid Ciel in putting on his coat.

"Really? Do you ever see them?"

"Hmmmm I suppose the last time I even saw my parents was a few hundred years or so ago."

"Oh I see, but you also never answered my question."

"Oh...hmmm....I guess I was born as you were, messy and squishy." he laughed.

"Enough with the squishy thing." Ciel clentched his fist.

"But I also heard my mother nearly destroyed my fathers hand in labor. She pulled it off supposedly. Thus making him endure many surgeries to fix many broken bones because my mother stated that she wasn't going to have a one handed mate."

"Wow." Ciel stated with surprise.

"Young master?"

"Somehow I just can't see it. I always thought you were hatched from an egg or something."

Sebastian gave his master a very awkward look. "Eh? That's just weird young master, as you can clearly see.." he lifted up his shirt and vest to show smooth abs. "I have a belly button. If I was hatched from an egg I wouldn't have a belly button."

"Put down your shirt you idiot." Ciel turned annoyed. "No one said you had to flash your stomach."

Sebastian just let his shirt fall, but didn't bother to retuck it in his pants.

"Sometimes I wonder if your really hundreds of years old. You act like such a child at times."

"Oh?" he raised a brow. Then leaned over at the foot of the bed, then rolled on his back. "Well if that is true young master then I guess I can only say someone has to. You certainly don't have many child moments." he smiled his angelic smile. Looking at his master awkwardly from his position. Then he rolled onto his belly and kicked his legs back and forth.

"Get off my bed!"

"But you said I acted like a child, and as such, i'll have to deny your request." he pretended to look at his nails, though he was still wearing his gloves.

"Tch." Ciel pulled the covers to his chin and laid down. "Fine, stay there then. Your nothing but my dog anyway. And dogs sleep at the foot of the bed."

Though Ciel couldn't see it, Sebastians face contorted to anger, he was glaring at his master for comparing him to a dog. But no sooner had he opened his mouth had Ciel blew out the candles and went back to his spot on the bed. "Goodnight."

Stunned while covered in darkness, Sebastians anger turned into sly. Slowly getting up he crawled towards the middle of the bed, edging his face towards his masters ear, taking a deep breath.

Ciel groaned in his sleep as he fell asleep quickly the moment he'd gotten comfortable.

"ARROWOWWOWWORWWW!!" Sebastian bellowed like a dog in pain, jumping up and down on his knees, making his master fall off the bed and on to the floor.

"Gaaahhhhh!!!" Ciel screamed after getting the loud noise in his ear and falling off his bed. "Sebastian you bastard!!"

Sebastian's grin was huge, he flashed his fangs and laughed at his master, who was picking himself off the floor. "You said I was a dog young master, and dogs howl at random times. I was just living up to the species. Shall I go and find a mate as well?"

Ciel shoved his pillow in the demons face. "NO!"

"Ah..syouth ishm ord." came a muffled response.

"What?" Ciel slowly removed the pillow.

Still smiling, "As you wish my lord." he repeated then got off the bed. "Such a shame though. Right when I learned to deliver a baby you won't let me have a mate."

"I don't want any demon spawn in my house!"

"Somehow I can see the Marchioness saying that." he said in a thoughful tone. He appeared to be thinking on it.

"Get out so I can sleep you idiot!"

"Yes my lord." he bowed, then left. Ciel went back to sleep.

* * *

_**This is Ciel's dream:**_

_It was morning, the wind blew slowly to lightly kiss the trees. Ciel was at his desk, and he was much older. Handsome, and beautiful at the same time. He got up when someone walked towards him. "Oh darling i've missed you." he said. "Please allow me to hold the baby." he held out his arms. He was now holding a baby wrapped in a blanket. "He's beautiful, Elizabeth our baby is beautiful. I'm sure it is." he opened the sheet. Then screamed and dropped the baby. The baby came out of the sheet and it was the Marchioness's head on a baby's body. "Demon spawn!!!!" she pointed at him._

* * *

"AAHHHHHH!!" Ciel screamed as he awoke with fright. Panting heavily. "What a nightmare." he mumbled to himself as he put a hand to his forehead. He could only pray his baby wasn't like his aunt. "Damn demon! Putting thoughts into my head!"

* * *

_I swear to you all I cannot read the part where Sebastian says "And squishy..don't forget squishy." without laughing. I can just see in my mind on how he would say it, like he was ordering a burger and said "Don't forget the tomatoes." or something. _

_I also apologize if it was graphic. .; Sorry to say but giving birth is actually very very messy in real life (No I don't have any spawns of my own...Unless you count my dog, but technically he's my nephew if we're gonna go that route). But i've taken classes and seen enough to know it's not as pretty and beautiful as they say it is. I tried to be as ungraphic as possible. So I hope that worked out._

_I don't know I can just see Sebastian having that type of reaction when it comes to an actual pregnant woman and the part with the birth. Like you know it's there, but never saw it up close type thing? And then when you finally do your kinda in the line of fire._


	11. Could this be more random?

Something New 11

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Random Info:_

_morning thunder = a man farting in the morning and it can be heard in the house_

* * *

It was early morning, abit earlier than when he usually did his work, but he figured he'd get a head start. So to the kitchen he went to make breakfast. He mixed ingredients to create wonderus smells. It looked so delicious anyone would want to eat it. Until he heard a sound he'd never really heard. It'd come from the nearby kitchen bathroom. Sure he'd heard this sound many a time. But never so early in the morning. Nor as loud.

"Uhhhh that feels good." came the familiar voice rather loudly. Causing Sebastian to blink, but pretend he'd heard nothing.

Bard came in with a huge grin on his face. "Morning!" he said cheerily.

"Morning." Sebastian repeated as he continued to prepare breakfast.

"Man that morning thunder was killer this morning. I thought I was gonna blow my hole off." he said with a large smile.

"Eh?" He stood there stunned. He couldn't help but think how weird humans were. He didn't bother to turn either.

"It's great to be a man, you can release certain bodily functions and not get looked down on." he tied on his apron.

"I don't see how being a man has anything to do with it." he added some salt to the dish.

"Aw come on! It's totally a man thing! I mean can you see Maylene passing gas? I'm sorry but I can't, it just doesn't seem sexy." he waved.

"I think it's just disgusting either way." he stated as he took the food off the stove and put it in it's dish to be served.

"Don't tell me you've never released a fart? Then again you probably couldn't if you wanted to. Your ass is probably shut tight."

"I'll thank you to keep your mind anyway from such a subject. What bodily functions I do is my choice." he snubbed at Bard. Then prepared to make some fresh bread.

"Farting isn't a choice! It's a sport! Only the best fart can win!"

"It's disgusting and revolting. Now kindly stop speaking of such things and get to work if your going to be up so early."

"Sometimes I wonder if your really a servant. You act so high and mighty. I guess farting is beneath you."

"I just have respect for...." he stopped for a moment as if thinking. "Those around me."

"Gah, sometimes I wonder if your really human! All men love to fart! It's like a right of passage!"

Sebastian threw a potatoe at Bard's head and continued to make the bread. "Shut up and do your job!"

Bard held his face as he'd been hit in the nose with the potatoe. "OOooww!"

He continued to make the bread and put it in the oven to bake, once he closed the oven door Maylene came in to the kitchen.

"Good mor..morning everyone." She stuttered when she saw Sebastian bent over. She blushed a little as she watched him.

"Good morning." Sebastian stated as he wiped his hands on a towel. "Could you do the dishes please Maylene?" he asked as he was putting his coat back on. It was almost time to wake the young master.

"Of course..." she blushed.

* * *

Sebastian just walked to his masters room. Opening the curtains as per his usual routine, he walked to the bed to wake his master and was assaulted suddened by a sudden action. Ciel had just farted. Holding his nose he backed away from the bed. "Oh my god!" he said aloud, though he hadn't intended to.

Ciel yawned and sat up from the shout. "Sebastian?" he said as he rubbed his eyes. "Whats the matter with you?"

"And to think I just had this conversation with Bard. Ewww humans are gross!" he gagged and hastily opened the window, taking deep breaths of air.

"What?" Ciel asked as he was lost.

"You farted! What kind of a noble farts?" he said after he got his breath of fresh air.

Ciel raised a brow. "You act like this is new. It's not like this is the first time i've farted."

"You've never done it before! Why now?"

"What do you mean i've never done it before?" he raised a brow. Then thinking for a moment, "I guess i've never done it in your presence before. Though I thought by now I would have."

"Please refrain in the future. My nose can't take it."

"Are you saying I produce a fowl smell?" Ciel glared.

"YES!" he shot back.

"Do demons not have such a function?" he asked abit annoyed.

Sebastian gagged like he was going to vomit, and continued to stay by the window. "They do...sadly." he choked.

"Your such a drama queen. It wasn't that bad." Ciel got off his bed and stretched. "Besides I thought demons liked doing natural things."

"Depends on the demon." he breathed. "I thought I was going to die."

"SHUT UP!" he blushed.

* * *

Needless to say Sebastian did his best to avoid any further discussions on bodily functions. Demon or not it didn't mean he had to enjoy certain things. But his master was persistent at poking at him every so often to try and get any information he could out of him. He was not about to give his master the ammo he'd need to embarrass him for the rest of the contract.

Though he'd noticed that he'd had a slight pain in his lower stomach. But ignored it as he was fairly certain it was due to a lack of eatting. After a while he felt that he had to use the bathroom and left to relieve himself. Lack of food or not it didn't mean he didn't have to empty his bladder. Locking the door he prepared himself by removing his gloves and steadied himself.

Within moments, he had to say it was probably the worst pain he'd feel in a while. The moment he started to go, it was like something other than urine was coming out of his body. He groaned in agony until it'd finally come out of his body. He panted as the pain subsided and look and what came out. It was a stone.

* * *

Ciel laughed as he thought of some of the randomest, and hilarious things that he could imagine about demons. He had images of demons cooking with frilly aprons. Possibly going to school. And other things that would be normal for humans but seemed hilarious for demons. His thoughts were broken when there was a knock on his door. "Come in."

Sebastian poked his head in from the door. "Young master....." he squeaked.

"Sebastian?" he raised a brow. Never had he seen the demon look so pitiful. "What is it?"

Whimpering he gripped the doors handle. "My tummy hurts, and a rock came out of my body." he whined.

"A what?" he looked at him in shock.

He merely whimpered some more.

* * *

The doctor finished his examination of Sebastian and pulled off the rubber gloves. "He'll be fine, he's just got a case of ureterolithiasis."

"A case of what?" Ciel looked perplex. He'd never heard of such a thing.

"Ureterolithiasis. More commonly known as kidney stones." he pushed up his glasses. "I believe it's due to him drinking water that has fluoride." he started writing something on a notepad. "I'm going to perscribe him some pain killers for the pain. Make sure he drinks atleast 8 regular sized glasses of water that does not have fluoride per day and they should pass smoothly." he tore the paper out and gave it to Ciel. "He should also rest for the day."

"Thank you doctor." he took the paper then looked at Sebastian who looked like he was going to cry.

When they got in the carriage Ciel was not a very happy camper needless to day. "How in the world.....does a demon get kidney stones?" he asked as he watched his butler laydown in the carriage.

"How should I know? I've never heard of it until now." he rubbed at his lower belly. "It hurts! I don't like it!" he whined.

"In anycase stay away from water with fluride in it." he sighed as he leaned in his seat.

"That's easier said than done young master." he groaned in pain. "I guess the water that comes from the pipes has fluride in it."

"So boil it to remove it." Ciel responded.

"Yes my lord."

"Now that I think about it....I didn't think you drank water."

"Young master i'm still a living creature, and I get thursty." he looked at his master.

"I always thought you just drank because I told you to."

".....Nooo." he said cutely, batting his eyes at his master.

Ciel gave him an awkward look. "Stop that."

* * *

Once they got home, Ciel had Sebastian drink alot of water. So much that he got bloated.

"Young master....I don't think drinking all this water at once is good for me." he hiccuped.

"I want you cured as soon as possible." he stated as he sipped his tea.

"I don't think it works that way." he responded.

"Doesn't matter." he responded as he handed him another glass of water. "Now drink! That's an order!"

"Uhhhh..." he held his stomach.

* * *

Ciel woke up the next day and regretted it. He could only think that he should of stayed in bed because Finni came up to him giving him the same explaination that Sebastian had given him yesterday. So not only did his butler have kidney stones, but his gardener and chef as well.

"What is this? Is everyone in this house getting kidney stones?" he shouted in his hands.

"Well young master I think kidney stones is better than morning thunder." Sebastian smiled. It seemed he was feeling pretty good for someone who still had a few stones to get rid off.

"Shut up!"

"Just think young master, now some of us know what it's like to push something out from our loins." he smiled. "Like giving birth to a child. Only it'll never walk, talk or grow."

Ciel gave him a look that clearly stated the demon was crazy. "Are you secretly doing drugs?" he asked.

"Of course not. Even though it is a natural plant. I personally do not like the feeling it gives one after it wears off." he put a hand to his heart.

"So...your basically saying you have done drugs before."

"When I was younger yes. I sadly surcumed to pier pressure in my younger years. Luckily I didn't like the scent it gave and how it messed with my mind so I stopped."

".......I was honestly expecting something more demonic in that statement." he said disappointed.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you young master." he smiled. "Maybe after I pass another stone I can call it our love child." he giggled.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"True, but nothing like that ever happened to me until I contracted with you."

"So your blaming me for your rocks?" he got off his seat.

"Not at all. I'm simply stating that I lived a perfectly healthy life before I came to this house."

"Your completely blaming me! I should have you neutered!"

Sebastian looked at him in shock then smiled. "You could never do that young master."

"Is that a fact?"

"Of course, because if you did it'd surely keep me from doing my duties."

"Tch."

* * *

Sebastian stood by his master as he ate his supper. The other servants standing by as well. It was a rather pleasant moment until the loudest fart that had ever sounded erupted. It was so loud and long that Sebastian, Maylene, and Finni couldn't even stiffle their laughter as Bard scratched his head with a smile.

"Oh my god..." Sebastian muttered as he covered his mouth and tried to keep from letting out a full blown laughter.

"Bard is stinky." Maylene stuttered as she tried her best not to laugh.

"Bard that's nasty!" Ciel shouted as he threw his bread at him.

"Somebody light a match, pheewww! That's some rank in here!" Bard stated with glee.

"Bard......" Sebastian started, but erupted in laughter. As bad as it was, it was just too funny when he saw his masters face.

Bard then just let out another fart equally long and loud. Making the others erupt in laughter even harder. Ciel just looked embarassed and was just grateful he didn't have any visitors.

* * *

Ciel searched through the small box in a fit of rage. He was so embarassed that words couldn't describe it. Currently he was looking for something that stopped ones natural gas. He had every intention of making Bard swallow it. Whatever it was.

"Young master I don't think there's anything that stops such a thing." Sebastian looked on in facisnation of his masters dedication.

"Shut up you!"

"Oh my is the young master upset?" he smirked.

"That was horrible! There's no way something didn't crawl inside him and die!"

"Perhaps the smell is from the kidney stones?"

"Somehow I doubt it....and speaking of that what of yours?" he raised a brow.

"I am happy to report that they are gone now. I simply started purifying the drinking water of the house and replaced the pipes."

"Good. But this brings a question to my mind."

"Oh?"

"I thought demons didn't get sick?"

"Quite the contrary, we can get ill just as humans, just not as often." he smiled. "And I seemed to recall wanting to vomit when a certain chef took a certain opportunity."

"Uhhh I hope whatever it is your feeding him you stop. I think I now understand your sensitive nose." he gagged.

"What an honor. I never knew you'd understand how I felt." he put a hand to his chest.

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"Not at all." he smiled plesantly.

"You just did! Arrrggh! I'm so tired of you calling me a fool!" he shouted. Then attempted to tackle the demon. It would of worked if Sebastian hadn't side stepped him. But he did manage to latch on to his pant leg to stop his fall.

"My goodness young master, don't you think your a little young to attempt to undress me in such a manner?" he looked at his master from above. "And besides if your going to do "that" to someone you should at the very least go for the zipper."

Ciel was the brightest red that he could muster. "I wasn't do that you idiot! I was trying to attack you!"

"By groping me?"

"I wasn't groping you you idiot!" he straightened himself up.

"Ohhh? But you were clearly trying to pull my pants down." he smiled.

"I was not!" he threw a set of bandages at his butler. After looking at them for a moment he smiled. "Hey..."

* * *

Maylene couldn't help but sneak a peek through the crack in the door. She held a tissue to her nose to keep the blood in check. "The young master was trying to rape Sebastian." she whispered. "Oh what a lecherous maid I am."

"Maylene what are you doing?" Finni asked. Bard was right beside him holding his stomach.

"Ahh! Nothing! Nothing! I most certainly wasn't spying on the young master and Sebastian!"

"Ohhh?"

"Young master.." Came Sebastian's voice from behind the door. "That is far too big to put in."

"Silence you! Now hold this so I can put it in!" came Ciel's voice.

"Oh my god what are they doing?" Bard asked as he put his ear to the door.

"Ow! Young master that hurt!" came Sebastian's whine.

"I seriously doubt that hurt you big baby! It's small! There's no way that could hurt!" came the response.

"But i've never had anything like that in me before. It's very uncomfortable."

"Sebastian and the young master are..." Bard blushed as images came into his mind.

"Oh my!" Maylene blushed. "I have lost to the young master."

"Eww young master this is sticky and slimey. That was way too soon."

"Well it wouldn't of happened so fast if you'd hold still!"

"But I don't like this kind of thing. It's just so...."

Bard couldn't take anymore and swung open the door. "What are you two doing! The young master is only a child! And.....you.." he gawked at the scene before him. Sebastian was awkwardly covered in bandages as if he'd been in a car wreak of some sort, while Ciel was holding a tub of medical glue to keep them in place.

"Bard what are you doing?" Ciel shouted. "Your ruining my first aid practice!"

"First..." Maylene started..

"Aid.." Finni said next.

"Practice?" Bard Finished.

"Ho, ho, ho."

"Of course, the young master expressed his dedication of learning first aid by bandaging me up. He's doing a rather horrible job though. He got the glue on me." he lifted a banaged wrist. "I'll have to wash up before it dries on me."

"Right..first aid." Bard smirked as he scratched his head. That's all it was.

"What did you think we were doing?" Sebastian asked as he started to pull some of the bandages off.

"Ummmm...Nothing!" he ran as his nose started to bleed.

"I think he had to go again probably to relieve some more rocks." Sebastian stated as he pulled a bandaid off his nose.

"Tch." Ciel scoff. "Oie! We're not done here! Stop pulling off my hard work!"

* * *

_Well what can I say....I was being random. XD I never realized how hard it is to mix about 3 different things and get them to tie in to one another. _

_I just hope this chapter came out okay. I figured since i've been sick for a while. Why not make a chapter that dealt with it. XD_

_School is almost over. I have a final on my birthday T.T But that's also my last day of class. Woo! And it's my day off so after I can relax. =3 I hope during the summer I can get better. Even if I have to work._

_Reviews and critique appreciated._


	12. It's a kitty sorta

Something New 12

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_This is what happens when you watch Panda go Panda and have a Sebastian cellphone strap._

* * *

Granny swayed back and forth in her rocking chair as she was knitting. She had a smile on her face as he looked out the window. "Ah it's such nice weather today." she stated as she kept rocking in her chair. "I think i'll have Sebastian make me some tea."

* * *

Sebastian was in the kitchen preparing for tonights dinner. He was seasoning a large roast when he heard a bell ring. "Ah...it seems granny requires me at the moment." he stated as he looked at his watch. "And right when I was preparing dinner too."

Putting on his coat he went to her room and knocked.

"Come in." She said from within.

"Is there something you needed granny?" he asked plesantly.

"Yes dearie, it's such a wonderful day. So I would like some tea." she smiled at him as she continued to knit. How she was able to knit without looking at her work he didn't know.

"Yes madam." he bowed.

"No no." she scolded him. "I told you call me granny at all times."

He smirked "I apologize."

"You'll make me feel like a stranger if you call me madam."

"I apologize." he repeated. Granny always gave him a long lecture if he called her anything but granny. "If I may then I shall take my leave to make you some tea. Is there any particular one you'd like?"

"Surprise me." she smiled.

He bowed again. Then took his leave. When he got back to the kitchen, another bell rang. "Now it's the young master. Honestly i'll never get dinner finished on time with all these distractions." He walked to his master's study, and knocked. "Excuse me."

"Come in."

"You called young master?"

"Make me something sweet."

"No. You'll spoil your dinner."

"Come oooonnnnnnn!" he whined. "Something like a tart."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Pleeeassseeeee.."

"No. And we're not doing this all day. I have to go prepare dinner, and granny's tea."

"How come she gets tea but I don't get a tart?"

"Tea is liquid, and granny will eat her supper. Tarts are food, and you'll spoil your dinner." then he turned on his heel without even bowing and left.

"FAVORITISM!" Ciel shouted at his back.

* * *

"Honestly the young master is so childish sometimes." he got back to the kitchen. But the roast he'd been seasoning. It was gone. He blinked then looked around. There wasn't anything burnt, so he could safely say Bard hadn't touched it. "Where did it go?" he said aloud, then saw that some of the towels for the use in the kitchen were in disarray. "Now who would of made such a mess?" he picked them up. And saw that they were covered in mud. "How..perplexing. The smudges are too small to be Finni's doing.

When he took the tea to granny he was even more surprised to see some muddy prints on the floor. "Where did this mud come from?"

"I don't know." she smiled. "Oh is that my tea? Thank you Sebastian."

He served her the tea, and wondered how someone could see if someone had done something they shouldn't have, but didn't see what might of happened right before her. "Today's tea is a raspberry tea. I hope you like it."

She took a sip. "It's delicious." she smiled.

Sebastian started following the prints for the culprit. He was rather sure it was the same one who'd taken the roast he was working so hard on for supper. When he lifted the curtain where the trail ended, he blinked. Then squealed in delight.

* * *

Ciel blinked when he'd heard a loud sound. He went to the direction he'd heard it. Knocking on granny's door. "Granny.." he peeked in. "What was...ah..ahh.. achoo!" he sneezed. "That."

"Ahh such supple fur, what vivid strips. Eyes like amber." came Sebastian's voice from behind granny. Who continued in her knitting like nothing was wrong.

"Sebastian did you bring a cat in here!" Ciel shouted.

"No....it was already here when I got here." he smiled, holding said cat in his arms.

"That's a tiger! What's a tiger doing here?" he jumped back.

"I don't know." he responded, but he eyes were clearly stating, can I keep it? With glistening eyes.

"Well get rid of it!" he shouted, then sneezed some more.

"But young master, where should I rid of it? I don't know where it came from to begin with. And what's more it ate tonights supper."

Ciel growled, "Just get rid of it!"

* * *

Needless to say Sebastian was very disappointed. Mostly because he wanted to keep the tiger cub that'd somehow gotten into the house. He'd already forgiven it for eatting the nights supper. Mostly for being so adorable. He was coddling the thing at the moment. Rubbing his face agains't it, and enjoying it's soft fur.

"But what to do. I obviously can't just let you just roam free." he held it in his arms.

"Sebastian stop dawdling!" Ciel shouted from the front door. "I said get rid of it!"

"But where to rid of it I get?" he asked.

"....What...?"

Sebastian smiled slyly. "Young master I am simply saying that I don't know where to rid of this creature. Can't I not, not keep it until it's owners arrive?"

"No."

"Awww." he pouted. He thought he'd been abit clever. But he guess his master probably figured out he was going to try to get hiim to let him keep it.

"And where's my dinner?"

Sebastian held the tiger out to him. "In his tummy." he said cutely.

"Uhhh. See this is why you should of given me a tart like I wanted."

"Are you saying this is my fault?"

"Partially."

"How so?"

"I don't know yet, but i'm sure it's your fault."

"So it's my fault that the tiger got into the house and ate the meat for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Then wouldn't it be your fault for calling me in the first place to ask for said tart which took me away from my duties which gave the tiger ample time to eat said meat that was for dinner within the time that you had me in your office nagging over said tart?"

Ciel looked perplexed at this question. "Uhhhhhhh...." he tried to answer, but he wasn't really sure what was even said to begin with.

"And wouldn't it be truthful to say that we should take responsibly for said tiger under the circumstances that we obviously can't just let it run while because some one else might find it or kill it thus getting us in trouble in the first place due to the fact that it was on our property first and you know I can't lie so if the police came here i'd end up telling them it was here to begin with and that it ate the meat that was for dinner and that you ordered me to get rid of it even though i'm more than willing to take care of it until the owners come to find him." he smiled cutely.

"Stop using long sentences to confuse me!" he shouted.

Sebastian smiled slyly at his master.

"Fine! Just keep it out of the main house!" he growled.

"Thank you young master."

"But you better make sure people know we have it. Otherwise your gonna get it!" he looked at the demon, but he'd apparently been abit more sneaky than usual, as he'd already put a bow on the tiger. "Don't coddle it! We're still not keeping it!"

"Of course not. I'm just...tagging it, so that way if another appears we'll know."

"Sebastian if there's more than one in this house..."

"There isn't, there isn't." he smiled as he hugged the baby tiger. It purred as he scratched it behind it's ear.

* * *

Needless to say Sebastian was very disappointed when the owners came a few days later. He was rather hoping there hadn't been an owner to begin with.

"Thank you so much for finding him. We were so worried." the zookeeper thanked. "I'm also very glad that he didn't do any damage to you or your home. Tigers aren't pets you know."

"I know." Sebastian said gloomily.

"But if you ever come by, please let me know, i'll let you bottle feed him."

"Yeah yeah."

"We're just so glad he's going back home to his mother." granny stated with a smile

"I'm sure she'll be happy as well. She's been very grumpy since he got away. Say bye bye to the nice man." he picked up the tigers paw and made it wave at Sebastian.

He whimpered as he saw the zoo keeper take the baby tiger away.

"Finally!" Ciel threw his hands in the air. "Now the house can go back to the way it was." he sneezed. "Make sure you clean every part of the house til it's spotless!"

"Yes young master."

Granny patted Sebastian on the shoulder, "It's alright sweetie, atleast he's going back with his mommy."

Sebastian pouted at her, "But it was a cutie."

"Tigers aren't meant to be pets, sweetie."

"Why are you calling him sweetie?" Ciel raised a brow.

"He's sad, sad people need to be called sweetie." she smiled. "Why don't we go to the zoo so you can see him."

"Really?" he dragged it.

"Really."

"Hey wait a minute, we don't have time to go to the zoo."

"Yay! The zoo!" Sebastian cheered unlike himself. "We're going to the zoo!"

"Oie! Listen to me!"

"We can go tomorrow." Granny added, making Sebastian one very happy demon.

"Hey! We're not going to the damn zoo!"

* * *

Ciel grumbled in distaste as they walked around the zoo. He'd said no about a dozen times, told granny to stop disrespecting his authority. To stop allowing his servants to do what they liked. But in the end. They ended up going. Why? All he could think of was granny had him tied about her finger. It was a real piss off that Sebastian seemed to go to her for whatever he wanted as well. It was like he was the child and he'd go over his parents to get what he wanted like a spoiled brat. And he was the parent. To make matters worse. Granny made him wear very childish clothing. He was in a sailor suit, with a hat. He was not pleased. Sebastian was wearing outfit that made him look abit like he was going to school or the library. Dark slacks, with a white shirt and vest. And he didn't even seem to car that he was walking around like a child in a candy store. Looking at each map they'd pass by for the tiger exibit. Sadly Sebastian also discovered that there were other large cats as well.

"Young master! Young master! Look! Look! It's a leopard!" he pointed excitedly. Ciel would just watch as he went to the next one. "Oooo! It's a wild cat!", then another, "It's an ocelot!.....It's a eurasian lynx!" and on and on it went. Until..."Young master look! It's him! It's him!" he jumped up and down. "It's Alexander!"

"Oh my god. You named it!" he looked embarassed.

"But he needed a name." Sebastian pouted. Then waved at the tiger like an idiot. "Alexander! Hi Alexander!"

"Sebastian control yourself! You're acting like a moron!" he growled.

"Young master look!" Maylene chimed in, "It's a camel!"

"Look at those snakes! They are so cool!" Bard's voice came along.

"Wow! Look at all the birds!" Finni's voice joined in.

Ciel just wanted to be anywhere else, but there. He thought he was going to die of embarassment. Even as the bystanders snickered and giggled at the scene before them. To make matters worse. Granny tied a balloon to his wrist. And it was shaped. Like a bunny's head. And...it was pink. 'Am I the only sane one?' he thought in his head.

A familiar squeal shot in his ear. He covered his eyes and prayed it wasn't who he thought it was and that it was just someone with a simliar voice. When he parted his fingers, it proved to be not what he wanted. Sebastian was jumped about like a small child. And he was holding a stuffed tiger. He saw granny closing her purse with a smile.

"Granny! Don't buy him gifts!" he shouted.

"Aww but I felt so bad he couldn't keep Alexander. So I thought it'd be nice for him to have something to remember him by."

"I'm in hell." Ciel looked up. "It wasn't enough for you to take my parents, you had to give me a demon that was cat obessed, and a grandmother who coddles my servants. What did I ever do you? Did I not pray properly as a child? Did my tearful child innocence annoy you? What?"

"Young master people are going to think your insane if you keep talking to yourself." Came Sebastian's voice from right next to his face. Making him jump.

"Shut up you! Don't talk to me about sanity until you no longer have a cat obession!"

* * *

Ciel was more than glad to be tucked into his bed that night, he was ready for the world of that day to be over. When he felt a part of his sheet be lifted he sat up. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Tucking you in with Alexander jr." Sebastian smiled.

"I don't want your stupid stuffed tiger in my bed!"

"But he likes you. He says your warm." he patted the stuffed tiger to "sleep".

"Bad demon! Very bad demon!" Ciel threw a tantrum. "No! No!" he waved his finger at Sebastian's face. "You don't give stuffed animals personalities! Bad demon!" he flicked him on the nose.

Sebastian rubbed at his nose like he had an itch or a cold. Then he giggled as he left the room.

Once the demon was gone he laid back down on his bed. He wanted to just drift off to slumber land where he could leave the insanity behind. But he couldn't seem to fall a sleep. Tried as he might, he couldn't help but think something was a miss. Reaching behind him he pulled the stuffed tiger to hug it to himself. He sighed in relief as slumber came to him almost instantly. "Goodnight, Al." he said.

"Goodnight Ciel." Came a voice.

"DAMN IT SEBASTIAN! STOP TRYING TO SCARE ME!" he shouted at the demon as he sat up.

"It wasn't me. It was Alexander."

"Didn't you just leave!"

"I did, but Alexander likes it when I read him a bedtime story." he held up a book.

"You bastard! Get out!"

"Once upon a time..." he started.

"Sebastian!"

* * *

_Ahh I must be insane. But after watching Panda go Panda. I couldn't help but think of this. XD BTW that's a very cute anime, you all should watch if you haven't. Goodnews, I passed my Art class with a B. I probably would of gotten an A, but I missed half the semester. Litterally. So considering that. A B is pretty damn good. I failed my math class as expected, but heck I missed alot. There was no way I was going to pass X.x._

_Well anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. XD I actually tried to make it as long as possible, but it just didn't want to be. XD So this is the shortest chapter of Something new. I really do have a Sebastian Cell phone strap. Actually I bought the set XD And an extra Sebastian one so that way I wouldn't have to use the set. XD And I got my volume 2 of Black Butler gahh! All the stuff that I loved in one! I'm so jealous of Madam Red!_

_On anothe note, I also posted a fic in the Katekyo Hitman Reborn section . It was actually coming out longer than what I expected. So it's gonna be a chapter fic too. Hope you all enjoy it if you decide to read it!_

_Critiques and Reviews are like always greatly appreciated =3_


	13. Ahhh with a bit of Wee!

Something New 13

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

* * *

"CIEL!" came the overly enthusiastic blonde. She tackled him in a hug and spun him around like he was nothing more than a rag doll. At times like this Ciel wondered if Elizabeth was secretly related to Finni. Or if her strength came naturally to her like Agni. He also hoped. He wouldn't loose his lunch. "Waiii! I missed you so much! Granny told me you helped delievered a baby and even had a baby tiger in the house. How cute!"

"Lizzie! When did you get here?" he asked in shock. Mostly because he wasn't expecting her.

"I got here just now silly!" she rubbed her face against his. Then she held him at an arms length. "Ciel your face is in need of a dire cleaning. It feels grainy."

"Eh? But I just washed my face a moment ago." he put his hand to his face. He didn't feel anything on it so he wasn't sure what she was talking about. "I even used soap."

"Ciel you shouldn't use soap on your face! You'll cause pimples and other unsightly blemishes!" she whined at him. Then perked up. "I know I can have you use some of my special facial cream!" She started running down to the first floor.

"Oh Miss Elizabeth when did you arrive?" Sebastian asked as he was going up the stairs and she nearly collided with him.

"Hello Sebastian." She courtesied. "Just now, isn't it a wonderful day."

"I believe it is. I just finished making some orange flavored cream puffs. Would you care for some? I also have a very lovely tea to accompany it." he smiled.

"Wow! Sebastian your amazing!"

"Sebastian, set up the tea and dessert outside." Ciel ordered, he was taking this opportunity to run away if he could just get past Lizzie he'd be home free. But first he needed Sebastian to occupy her. "Why not show Lizzie how you make those napkins into swans?"

"Woooww! Sebastian you'll teach me won't you?" she pleaded.

"But of course my lady." he bowed. Though his eyes clearly stated at Ciel. I'll get you back for leaving me with her.

"Then after we can have a spa day!" she announced.

"What?" Ciel panicked.

Sebastian just looked at her in confusion. 'Spa day?'

* * *

After the days snack and tea, Elizabeth had wasted no time setting up the foyer as a complete spa area. Sebastian wondered how she got half the stuff she needed so quickly. Even granny seemed enthused. Stating she needed a good spa treatment. All he knew about spas was that women tended to go to them for beautifying purposes. He'd never heard of men doing it. His own mother had occasionally left him in the care of his father stating she needed time to rejuvinate herself as her face was becoming quite unbecoming. Personally whether his mother did it or not he didn't see a difference. But she claimed it was wonderful. He guessed females of human and demon variety all did this to make themselves more appealing to their male mates. 'What ever happened to just releasing pheremones?' he asked himself in his head as he placed down several towels on a nearby table.

Maylene herself looked abit confused as to what was going on herself. But he supposed it was because she was the only female in the house and even prior to that she was rather tomboyish.

"Waii! Now we can all have a relaxing spa day!"

"What does one do at the spa?" Finni asked innocently.

"Spa's are great! You can get manicures! Pedicures! And even a mud bath to help rejuvinate your skin! Mama takes me whenever she's not busy." she smiled. "It's going to be fun! I even contacted the same company that comes to our house! They should be here any minute."

"Company?" Sebastian raised a brow. He was rather unaware that there was such companies. Much less ones that made house calls.

"Sebastian...there's a group of weird people outside stating they were contacted for the day." Bard came in sheepishly. "Their kinda well..." he turned.

Sebastian looked behind him and saw a rather small group. About 7 people, they looked like strange doctors, and carried things he'd never seen before.

"Yay you made it!" Elizabeth ran to a short hair red headed woman. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"But of course Lady Elizabeth. I could never turn down one of our best customers. Now I believe you requested our special package for VIP members?"

"Yeap!" she chirped.

"Lizzie what the hell is this?" Ciel shouted in panic. He didn't think she'd really go through with getting a group to come over. But he also guessed he should of known better.

"Oh don't worry about it honey." A weird skinny man with his hair parted on the side and brushed in a side manner stated at him. "We are the best in the business. Don't you worry we'll have you looked fabulous."

"Ahem.." Sebastian coughed. The man creeped him out. It was like what Grell would possibly do if he had brown hair. "Well if you excuse us, the servants will be getting back to our duties." he started to walk away. Bard following him. Maylene and Finni had a look of disappointment on their faces.

The creepy man grabbed him at his wrist. "Oh no honey, Lady Elizabeth stated everyone in the house was to get the treatment, that includes servants." Sebastian turned around very shocked as if to say, WHAT?, but he hadn't said a thing. "Now come on, lets do a deep cleaning of that face of yours." he was dragged back.

* * *

Maylene was getting her nails done, while Finni was getting a pedicure. Both were equally excited. Ciel looked as if he was bored as he had his feet in a bucket of water while reading a news paper. But every so often he'd look up and smirk. Across from him were Bard and Sebastian, with some kind of facial cream on their faces.

"I can't feel my face." Sebastian mumbled as he tried not to talk too much as he was told he'd make the mask crack. His long locks were combed back and held with clips.

"I think all the oxygen is being taken out of my body." Bard mumbled as well.

They were the first to go through the facial treatment. Ciel was next in line, but he couldn't help but giggle at the sight. Both looked ridiculous, as their faces were covered in some green cream.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka laughed as he was getting a head massage.

"Oh my, you have so many knots! I'll get those out for you sir." A woman who looked no older than 15 stated to him. It looked as though everyone was having a good time except Sebastian and Bard.

"Oh that numb feeling is normal." the creepy man waved his hand. "It just means it's throughly cleaning out your pores. I swear men are so whiney about the little things." he went back to giving Maylene her manicure.

"Ah my nails look amazing." Maylene looked at her finished hand in awe.

"I know right!" he stated. "Just becareful when you work or you'll ruin my fabulous work."

"Now remember, good toe nails is a good sign that one takes care of themselves." a man who didn't even look like he belong told Finni. Finni nodded enthusiastically. "Don't put any shoes on for atleast an hour."

"Okay!"

"Waiii Ciel isn't this great!" Elizabeth chimed in. She was getting her hair done by a woman who had long blonde hair and looked very sexy.

"Ehmm." Ciel continued to look at his paper. Using it to cover his smirk as he looked at Sebastian who was poking at the facial mask on his face. A woman grabbed his hand and threw a towel over his face, to clean it of the cream. When she was done, Sebastian patted at his face and felt how smooth it was. This left Ciel abit disappointed though. He was hoping the demon would get some red blemishes or something.

"Okay now it's time for your pedicure." he was shoved into a chair.

"No thank you I think i'm perfectly fine." he tried to get up, but was promptly shoved back down.

"Non sense." she waved his complaint off like it was nothing. Removing his shoes and socks like it was nothing before rolling up his pant legs. "Oh my!" she shouted in excitement. "These are the smoothest legs i've ever seen." she rubbed her face against them. Sebastian just looked at her awkwardly.

"I'm really uncomfortable right now." he muttered, but went unheard even as his feet were put in a special chemical bath.

"Oh your just shy." She smiled at him. "Trust me once you've had a pedicure you'll never do without one again."

"Oh Sebastian your face looks fabulous!" Granny squealed. "You look so refreshed already! And you haven't even had the full body massage."

"Full body massage." he looked abit grossed out. He wasn't sure how he'd feel about some human touching him.

Ciel flinched when the cream was put on his face, it was cold. After abit he finally understood when Bard said the oxygen felt like it was leaving his body. Then he saw a flash before his eyes. Looking over he saw Sebastian with a camera. "You bastard!"

"Aww my master getting his first facial." he smirked. "This is going directly in the album."

* * *

It was rather strange having someone other than himself touch his feet. But he did enjoy the massage the woman gave him. He never realized how tiring it was to stand on ones feet all day. They wanted to give him a manicure, but he somehow managed to get them away from it. But now he was to get a full body massage. They told him to wear nothing but the towel they offered and put him in another room. So he stood there holding the towel then looking at the table that'd been set up.

"You haven't changed yet?" Came another sexy woman with brown hair. "Come on i'm sure you'll enjoy the royal treatment she winked at him"

* * *

Bard was fearing for deal life when a burly man came into the room to give him his massage. He was hoping one of the ladies was going to give him his massage but it proved to be wrong. The man threw him back on the table and started.

* * *

Bard's scream was clearly heard from next door but Sebastian ignored it as he moaned in esctacy. The woman was fablous, the way she moved, and her soft, yet firmness.

"Oh my you have so many knots in your shoulders. You must work very hard." she massaged out another knot.

"I do. As a matter of fact I do the most work." he groaned as she released another knot in his back. He heard a resounding pop, but it felt great.

"Oh? A sexy man like you? How noble." she smiled as she put some oil in her hands and started massaging at his lower back.

Sebastian started purring in delight as she rubbed hard taunt muscles into relaxation. All the tense feeling he had melting away with her magical fingers. He honestly could say he was loving this. And made a mental note to go to another spa the next time he could.

* * *

Sebastian was nothing less but satisfied after the treatment had been done. He laid on the sofa as the crew had left moments ago after completing their tasks. Bard looked like he was horrified. As he was in shambles and mumbling about rape.

"That...was better than sex." Sebastian purred as his body felt like it was lighter than air. He doubted he'd be able to move for the next few hours even if he wanted to.

"Speak for yourself! That was the worst experience ever!" Bard shouted at him.

"Ahh i'm so refreshed. I feel like a young girl who's going on her first date." Granny stated as she smiled.

"Hmm it wasn't bad." Ciel leaned in his own chair. He was admiring how his nails looked after a good manicure.

"See Ciel I told you you'd enjoy it!" Elizabeth smiled. Her own skin has a glow to it to show she'd had a very through experience.

"Sebastian where's my dinner?" Ciel asked.

"Oh...I apologize young master, i'll start immediately." he stated, but made no move to get up. After a few minute Ciel started getting aggitated.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian started giggling, "I can't get up." he laughed some more. Almost like someone was tickling him and wouldn't allow him to get up. His arms were like jelly when he tried to move them.

"Stop lying and go make me dinner."

"No really." he was giddy. "I can't." he giggled. "My body is like jelly." he started cracking up.

"If your body is like jelly that means it was done correctly." Granny smiled. "The poor dear must of been totally stressed."

"Ciel! Let's go on a bike ride tomorrow!" Elizabeth shouted as she tackled him again. "It'll be fun."

"Lizzie I have work to do!"

"It'll be romantic, we can even have a picnic!" she beamed. "I'm going to prepare some snacks!" she shouted before leaving.

"Hey! Listen whens someone is talking to you!" he shouted at her. But it was no use. Sebastian's insistant giggling did not help his mood either. "Sebastian will you get up already!"

* * *

After procuring a set of bikes, Sebastian was all smiles as he saw his master looking at them like they were death traps. One even had a basket on it in the front, while the other was a two seater.

"Tell me again why I have to do this?" Ciel grumbled as Sebastian held up the basket full of treats.

"Young master I can only say there are times when a young man must learn to endure his mates whims. Besides now is the perfect time for you to learn to ride a bike." he smiled slyly.

"There's no need for me to learn to ride a bike. That's why I have you to drive me places." he grumbled.

"Could it be the young master is embarassed." he smiled.

"I am not!"

"Oh? Perhaps this is the first time you'll be riding?"

Ciel looked down at the floor in embarassment.

"Do not worry young master, I assure you that it is very easy. I can show you with the single seater while we await the lady."

Ciel grumbled, but allowed him to do so.

"Alright well the first thing you do is obviously get on the bike." He got on, using his legs as support. "You use your leg to keep yourself upright when the bike isn't moving."

"I can see that you idiot!"

"Ah pardon me, next use your feet to move the pedals, this is what makes the bike move. Of course keep balance in mind, because if you don't you'll fall over." he started riding around his master with ease. "See it's easy. Would you like to try?"

"Hmph, i'm sure if you can do it, I can do it." he uttered as Sebastian got off the bike and offered it to him.

"Shall I hold the seat for you?"

"No!" he grabbed the bike by it's handle bars and attempted to get on. But failed to realize the seat was set to Sebastian's height. Thus making it very difficult. Once he got on, he fell over and grumbled.

"What was that young master?" he held out his ear.

"I said hold the damn seat!"

* * *

After a few tries Ciel had managed to ride the bike...mostly. In reality he had Sebastian holding the seat, telling him not to let go under any circumstance. For whenever the demon did let go he'd wobble then crash.

"Sebastian don't let go!" he shouted for the fifth time. He started to wobble on the bike, but he was concentrating hard not to fall.

"I'm not." he smiled as he watched his master try to concentrate. He finally let go slowly and watched as his master ride slowly away.

"Okay. I think I got it. But don't let go Sebastian." he said.

"I won't." he walked slowly by his master. Not telling him he wasn't even holding the seat anymore.

Ciel's anxiety was at it's peak, but it slowly went away. Until he finally got comfortable.

"Wow! Ciel is riding a bike!" Elizabeth shouted with glee.

"Lizzie!" he blushed as he continued to ride.

"Sebastian can you help with this basket?" Granny asked plesantly.

"Certainly." he walked over to her.

"Wait! Don't let go! Don't...let...go...YOU BASTARD! YOU LET GO!" Ciel shouted in anger. But he hadn't fallen off the bike yet.

"Young master honestly I haven't been holding the bike for a good five minutes." he took the basket. "You've been riding by yourself."

"I have?" he looked puzzled.

"Ciel your amazing!"

He was blushing, but also rather proud of himself. But he was also abit upset at the demon since he told him not to let go. But he guessed if he hadn't he wouldn't of learned how to ride a bike.

* * *

Ciel was sitting on the laid out blanket as he enjoyed his lunch with Elizabeth. He grumbled in distaste as he watched the demon ride round and round doing various tricks with the bike. He'd rode it without his hands, without his feet. Laid on it on his side. Rode on it with one wheel in the air. Standing on it. Balancing himself with one hand as it moved. All this and more that made Ciel grumble.

Sebastian was having a rather amusing time making his master look pathetic on a bike. But he also wouldn't tell his master that it was also his first time on a bike as well. He was only copying what he saw others do. Then decided to do some tricks for fun. He loved his masters aggitated look. He rode off alittle out of his masters sight.

"Mew." he heard. Making him stop.

"Oh my." he smiled.

* * *

"Damn it where did he go?" Ciel steamed. Sebastian had been gone for a full hour. And was no where to be found. Finally he saw him riding back in the distance. "Finally!" he threw his hands. "Sebastian where did you...achoo!" he sneezed.

Sebastian was riding on the bike with a smile on his face of joy. In the basket of the bike he was riding had three cats in it. All seemingly enjoying the bike ride. As the demon came to slow down he looked at his master with glee.

"Damn it Sebastian! We're not keeping them! Let them go!"

"Awww." he pouted as he came to a complete stop. Giving the cats a final hug before letting them go. "They were so cute too."

* * *

After they'd gone home and everyone was tucked into bed. Sebastian was in his room. He opened his door a crack, looked around for a moment and then closed it hastily. Making sure the door was locked he opened his closet to let the three cats he had in the bike basket earlier out of his closet. They meowed and jumped on his bed. Purring in delight. He was more than excited when he'd found that they'd actually followed him home. And his master stated for him to let them go back at the park. He said nothing of when they were home.

"Ahhhh humans are such high maintence. But I did rather enjoy that massage." he picked up one of the cats and hugged it as he sat on his bed. "But nothing is better than cats." he squished it's paw with a smile on his face.

If someone asked him what he'd learned during the past few days. He probably wouldn't be able to answer anything except learned to ride a bike. Though he was rather sure his tricks on the bike made him stand out more than most humans. The lesson he had learned was sometimes it was good to take time to relax. Even if you were a demon.

* * *

_Okay first off, I want to thank Hybreed for putting into my head the bike part. =3 It was a great thought to have and i'm glad you let me use it. Thank you! I know it probably wasn't what you expected. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway._

_Hybreed also drew a picture of Sebastian on a bike with the three kitties in the basket (that's where I got the image from), it was soooo cute! I want it! *jumps in delight* After Hybreed scans it, hopefully i'll get the link and can add it in here so you guys can see it. Or you can ask Hybreed for it. It was really cute. EPIC! If I can i'll see if I can get permission to link the photobucket account. I don't wanna just do it without permission ya know? _

_Other people have made suggestions as well, but i'm not sure how to work those out yet. But i'll figure it out i'm sure._

_Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter of something new. =3 I really enjoyed writting it. And honestly it was hard to write the spa part because I was laughing because I could just see it happening. XD Uhh I need a massage myself T.T so tired and stressed. *envies Sebby* I was also really surprised at how many reviews I got in such a short time for Something New. O.O I'd never gotten so many in such a short time. I'm greatly honored! =3 I hope to continue to meet everyone's expectations with this humor fic =3._

_Reviews and Critique appreciated! =3 Take care all!_

_P.s. Please try to stop falling out of your chairs in laughter, it worries me greatly. No concussions for the readers! ._


	14. I hate you so much right now

Something New 14

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_*Note: for this chapter the minor oc's i'm leaving it to you guy's imagination.* XD_

* * *

The demon stared waryingly at the person before him. His features has a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. When he'd entered the kitchen to make the day's breakfast, the chef, amazingly had actually beaten him on arriving. A first and last time more than likely.

Bard scratched the back of his head sheepishly as he smirked at the demon before him.

"...What?" Sebastian inquired as his annoyance level of the human rose with each passing second. The more time he spent dealing with him the more breakfast would be delayed.

"Well...I was wondering..." he dragged his sentence.

"...Wondering?"

"Would you...go on a date with me?"

Sebastian's jaw dropped in shock. "What?...NO!" he looked revolted. He shuddered with the horrible thoughts that came to his mind. Images of Grell surfacing. He got goosebumps and rubbed at his upper arms as if he was cold. 'Great now I have one at home too.' he thought in his mind.

"Aww come on! It'll be fun. You just have to pretend to be my girlfriend for an hour." he pleaded.

Sebastian stared at the man before him. 'Girl...friend...' he thought. Silence hitting the room for a moment until it clicked in his mind at what Bard was implying. "YOU WANT ME TO CROSSDRESS?" he shouted.

"But your so good at it." Bard gave him a look that clearly stated, your amazing.

"No...nonoNONONONONO!" he stood defiant. He would not be forced to crossdress as a woman again.

* * *

He was stunned. Even as he wore a pretty dress and the wig from before. He could only be stunned. Even as a demon he was trying to figure out how he ended up in a dress again. The dress was elegant. Soft. The color was nice as well. He was grateful the dress wasn't pink. But a lovely lavander. It didn't change his mood though. He was sitting in a chair while granny put a hair piece on him. A headband with a flower on the side.

"Your so pretty Sebastian. Sometimes I just wish you were a girl." she squeeled. This made Sebastian scoff in distaste. "Now, now Sebastian. Scoffing is very unlady like."

"Sorry granny." he mumbled as she brushed the wig out.

"This pink hue of lipstick, it'll be wonderful on you!" she started to apply it. On the inside Sebastian just wanted to cry.

Ciel leaned in the doorway as he watched his butler become the pretty countess once more. "Oh...it seems you've lost abit of your dignity." he giggled.

"I lost my dignity when I became your butler." he mumbled as some perfume was sprayed about him. He coughed for a moment lightly when some got in his mouth.

"Oh i'm sorry sweetie." Granny kissed him on the cheek.

Ciel snorted as he watched the display before him.

"Don't worry Ciel sweetie. I'm going to help you get all dressed up too."

"Eh? Sebastian isn't dressing me?" he looked shocked.

"Of course not. You'll ruin his dress."

Sebastian started snickering as granny finished dressing him. Ciel just looked shocked and embarassed.

* * *

Bard looked pretty happy with himself. He was wearing a nice suit, had his hair nicely combed. And even had a confidence that just screamed winner. He remembered how it worked out to where he was now. He'd simply begged and pleaded with his master to convince Sebastian to be his girlfriend for a short time. Ciel readily agreed on the condition that he could go on the so called, "date." The purpose of the request. Bard had told some friends of his that he'd had a lovely girl with him. He'd only mentioned it because the guys at the bar were picking on him and claiming it was a lie. Which was true. When he'd gone into the description of the so called girl he'd been "dating" he'd realized he'd actually described how Sebastian had looked when he was dressed as the Countess. He'd cursed himself when they told him to prove it by bringing his "girlfriend" in.

"So...Bard." one of the men sneered at him. "Where's your girlfriend? Did she run off?"

"No! No!" he sweated. He'd actually gone off ahead of everyone. "She said she was going to be abit late."

"Sure." another stated. They all sneered and snickered as they picked on him. Bard was already thinking Ciel had failed, until.

"Oh my god who's that lovely vixen?" one of the men said as he was practically drooling.

"She's wonderful."

When Bard turned around he could only think, 'I'm saved!'. Mostly because the vixen in question was Sebastian. Though he had to do a double take as he saw Ciel right beside him. Wearing childrens clothing. His master's angry face did not suit his outfit. "Darling!" he spread his arms as soon as Sebastian got near.

Sebastian cringed visibly as he tried to remain composed. "Ho...honey..." he felt like vomiting. "I'm sorry we're late. You know how this one enjoys playing." he smiled. Ciel glared at him as he clung to his dress.

Bard hugged him, and sighed in content as he smelled the lovely perfume on Sebastian's body. He only let go when he felt his foot get stepped on. A signal from Sebastian he was holding him abit too much. "You look as lovely as ever." He kissed his hand.

"Wow, i'm jealous of you Bard, she's a fox!" one of his drinking buddies stated.

"He now that's no way to speak to a lady. She's a countess after all." he smirked.

Sebastian looked like he wanted to die. Would the title countess haunt him for the rest of his life? He pondered.

"Holy crap? How did you manage that? Does she have a sister?" another asked as his jaw dropped.

"Man i'm so jealous!" another stated.

"Who's that kid with her?" the third man asked. It seemed puzzling to him that someone would bring a child to a pub.

"Oh..this is...uh.." Bard tried.

"This is the child of an associate of mine. Forgive me but i'd forgotten i'd promised to watch him. I didn't realize it was on the same day as when my...darling requested to meet me." Sebastian explained.

"Oh her voice!" a man swooned.

"It's like heaven.." some random man stated.

"Hey now guys!" Bard grabbed Sebastian about his shoulders. If anything Sebastian looked more surprised that he was so bold to even do so. "This is my gal. You can look but don't touch."

Snickers erupted about the room. "Not for long man. If she's dating you, that must mean she's got some low standards."

'Low standards?' Sebastian glared. 'You wish. Looking at the people in this room, Bard is actually an improvement.' he thought. But this thought did not bode well for him. Especially since he'd just complimented Bard in his mind. But he would never tell him this to his face.

"Shall we go? I know a nice place that's not too far from here that's still serving meals." Bard broke his thoughts.

"Ummm...I..." he tried to come up with an excuse. But he was at a loss. The mere fact that Bard was actually a romantic was throwing his usual perception of the human.

Ciel smirked as he watched the demon look so confused at what to do. Though he knew he'd regret it later he did an action that was far beneath his usual persona. He tugged on Sebastian's dress and gave him the most adorable puppy eyes he could muster. "Sissy...i'm hungry." he squeeked.

Sebastian looked at his master in shock. Then his expression turned into a sly one. 'If the young master wishes to play this game. Then I shall proceed as well.' he thought as he turned to Bard and gave him an angelic smile. Bard jumped for a moment at the sudden change of expression. "Darling I would love to."

"Uh...okay.." he responded abit unsure. He'd seen that expression before. And it could only mean one thing. Sebastian was plotting. Whether it was in a good way or bad way. One would never know until it actually happened.

"Tch." Ciel scoffed in distaste. He hadn't expected the demon to react with an answer so quickly.

* * *

The whole group had gone to the restaurant. Ciel was enormously angry at his situation. 'Oh that demon will pay!' he thought in his mind as he sat next to Sebastian. Sebastian smiled slyly as he cut into the meat on his plate. Making sure to cut them into tiny pieces that were chewable. But this wasn't what was pissing Ciel off. Oh no. Ciel was pissed because Sebastian had asked the waiter to bring Ciel a booster seat. And to make matters worse. Sebastian had given him the child menu. Thus making his options for a hearty meal limited. He was even more upset when his dish was brought to him in the form of a smiley face. This had made the group snicker. Sebastian had pretended not to by dabbing his lips with his napkin to hide the fact.

"So...how long have you known this bum?" a man asked.

"Hmmm, that's so hard to answer." Sebastian responded innocently. "I do believe I did meet him on several occastions due to business with the President of the Funtom company. Perhaps even before that?" he looked puzzled. He was playing his role very well.

"So what made you pick him? Surely you can pick someone...better?" another asked as he leered at Sebastian.

"Why would I pick someone else? Bard is rather talented after all." he responded. Though he ended up blinking several times as suddenly everyone with the exception of himself and his master turned red in their faces.

"You sly dog you." Bard was poked in his ribs.

"No! It isn't like that! We haven't done that!" he blushed profusely. "Please correct yourself!" he turned to Sebastian with haste. Sebastian merely looked at him confused.

"I'm not understanding at all. Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

"She's sooo innocent!" a man gushed with delight.

"Ummm forget what we said. We apologize for such vulgar conduct infront a lady...and child." another man scratched at his nose.

* * *

The night was nearing it's peak. And even Sebastian had to admit he wanted nothing more than to go home and soak his aching feet. Even his master was nodding off beside him. Looking at his pocketwatch he saw that it was 3 am. Far past his master's bed time. This also frustrated him because it meant the schedule for the day was ruined. He never thought they'd be out for so long. That supposed hour of pretend, had turned into 6 hours of hell.

At every chance the men got. His rear was groped, pinched, smacked, and rubbed. Rubbing his rump for what seemed like the 100th time, he just wanted nothing more than to go home. Bard had defended his honor though. He had to admit that was rather nice. Even if it was creepy.

They awaited a carriage so they could go home and end the last of the outing.

"Are you tired? Do you want to sit?" Bard asked genuinely. Though his fist was in bandages from a brawl he'd had with his now ex friends. He didn't care though. As far as he was concerned his real friends and family lived at Phantomhive manor.

"I'm fine." he stated as he stood patiently. When his master nearly fell over he picked him up in his arms. Ciel snugged into him as he was chilled.

"Thank you by the way." Bard stated. "I know you more than likely didn't want to do it."

Sebastian sighed. "Just don't do this again. My rear can't take it."

Bard smiled. "Did the great butler just crack a joke?"

"No. My rear really can't take it. It hurts." he stated bluntly.

The smile in place he looked back to the street. "Where is that carriage? It should of been here by now."

"It is rather late." he responded as a breeze chilled the air abit.

Bard rubbed at his hands, looking from the corner of his eye as he saw Ciel shiver abit even while sleeping. Removing his coat he placed it about Sebastian's shoulder to partially cover the demon and his master. Sebastian gave him an awkward look but turn away.

"Thank you." he mumbled as he pulled it to cover his master abit more. He, himself, found the night air rather refreshing.

Bard scratched under his nose as he blushed a little. "Ya know. When you look like that it's almost as though your the young masters elder sister or something."

'Uhhh.' he groaned in his head. 'Just what I need, more patronizing.', "I don't think so." he turned his face away. 'Where is that carriage?' he thought.

"No, no! I don't mean it in a bad way. I just mean...well...look how comfortable the young master is in your arms." he scratched at his head. "Just seems like you have that kind of a bond ya know?"

Sebastian was rather sure he'd cry at any moment if Bard kept up his talk. It was bad enough he was the butler of a human child. He didn't need to be compared to something as trivial as a loving sibling.

* * *

By the time they got home, it was 4:30 in the morning. Sebastian was slowly walking toward the stairs to put his master to bed as Bard was locking the door. Everyone else had already gone to sleep.

"Neh...Sebastian." Bard called to him. Sebastian stopped and turned around. Bard couldn't help but think how lovely he looked in the dark. He was sure Sebastian would be quite the masterpiece if there was moonlight. Walking up to the demon he smiled. "You know you really do look amazing as a woman."

Sebastian punched Bard in the back of his head. Thus making the chef fall to the ground with smoke coming from the bump on his head. Sebastian growled with distaste as he walked up the stairs toward his masters room. When he got there, the first thing he did was kick off his own shoes, from under his dress. The plush carpet soothing his sore feet as he walked toward the bed and placed his master a top it.

Sitting on the other side of the bed he rubbed at his feet to ease the pain. "Uhh my aching feet. Granny really should of considered the fact that those shoes were too small. Atleast they didn't swell." he looked at his toes. They were red, and he could feel them throbbing. "Just a few minutes of rest." he mumbled to himself as he laid on the pillows. His eyes drooped tiredly as soon as his head touched them. 'How strange I feel, oddly tired more than usual.' his eyes threatened to close. Eventually without realizing it he'd nodded off to sleep. Not even changing out the the dress, or putting his master in his night clothes.

* * *

Ciel woke up groggily. He sat up in his bed and rubbed at his eyes. He couldn't help but wonder when they'd returned home. After a few moments he realized he was still in the outfit granny had put him in the day before. "Useless demon." he muttered as he stretched. Upon placing his hand down back on the bed it collided with something. He turned to face the foreign object. Instantly he woke up fully and jumped as he saw a girl in his bed with long black hair. "Wait...black hair..." he blinked a few times, then growled in distaste. "Stupid Sebastian. No one said you could sleep in my bed." he grumbled then sighed. "I can't believe I forgot he was in drag. The idiot he could of atleast changed." he stretched again.

Sebastian was curled up on the bed slumbering peacefully, his hands by his face, and it was a wonder how his lipstick didn't smire. Ciel looked at the peacefully slumbering demon with a hint of interest. Even as he slept, he looked simply perfect. Like a princess from a fairy tale. "I wonder if demons are able to change their genders." he thought aloud. Then crawled to approach him. As he hovered over him, Ciel looked as though he was trying to figure out some sort of mystery. He jumped when Sebastian moaned in his sleep and turned over abit to lay on his back. He was amazed the wig stayed in place. But then noticed something that he never thought much about. Sebastian's chest. Though it was covered. He wondered what a womans chest would feel like. And since Sebastian hadn't changed he still had the stuffed corset on. Lifting his hands they hovered over the globes as he became hesitant. 'Wait...' he thought as he sweated. 'Wouldn't this make me a pervert?' he thought. Then pulled his hands away and crossed this arms over his chest. 'No. I won't do it. I am a noble and a noble should not demean himself by groping someones chest...even if they are fake...and...defenseless...and not real...' he thought. His mind was in battle. It was raging, his good and honorable side was frantically loosing to his childish evil side. 'I'm gonna do it! I'm totally going to do!' he thought as he replayed his actions. And without anymore hesitation he groped the fake bust of the demon. 'Ahh they are soft...I always knew they'd be soft...' he blushed with delight.

"Oh my young master I didn't think you'd be the kind to take advantage of someone whilst they were sleeping." came Sebastian's voice.

Ciel's eyes flew open faster than he was able to process what'd just happened. He looked at his hands and at the demon's face, who had a large smirk on his face. He was horrorfied. Not only had he been caught red handed. But he'd actually had a sign of weakness and done it. The later made him even more disgusted. "Duuu...I...you..."

"How long are you going to grop me young master?"

Subconciously Ciel flexed his fingers over the fake globes. And a light trail of blood fell from his nose. He promptly let go and backed away. "It was a prank I tell you! A prank!"

"Oh my you completely moved them awkwardly." Sebastian touched his chest. He started adjusting his "chest" to be more woman like.

"You idiot! Don't go playing with them!"

Sebastian flexed his fingers around his fake breasts, "Oh? But they feel so nice. Not as great as real ones mind you but they are very close." he teased. "Does the young master wish to feel them again? Or perhaps we could get a real set involved. I never knew the young master was at that age so quickly."

His world was shattering, he could never live this down. The demon had the best card from the deck and could use it against him now at any moment. He could already see humiliation of many sorts appearing before his eyes. "YOU BASTARD! YOU WEREN'T SLEEPING AT ALL WERE YOU!"

"Well young master I seem to recall stating that demons sleep as a luxary. I will admit I was curious what you'd do in such a situation. I just didn't think you'd go as far as sexual harassment."

"Ahhh!"

"Oh come now young master, as a demon you've made me very proud." he smiled. "After all you merely touched, you didn't take further steps against my virtues."

"What virtues? Your a demon!"

"Although I think i'll have to have a word with Bard about his magazines. Honestly young master." he pulled a few from under the pillow. "Under the pillow? Even Maylene would find them in such an obvious place."

Ciel was bright red like a tomatoe. Ciel had just been caught hording Bard's adult books. "I was only curious!"

* * *

_I wonder how many people got a laugh out of this one. I know I did. XD Ahh the memories of guys taking the victoria's secret catalog...damn you guys, we ladies need those ya know! Lol. Well in anycase my cosplay is coming along. But since I got called into work my past days off in the previous week. I didn't get really anything done. *Le sigh*, the battery in my car was finally too old to live, so I got a new one. Wee. But then I took my car to get an oil change, and emissions test, and oh joy, my car won't pass because my back tires are crap because the struts are killing them. Oh joy. But with the purchase of 2 new tires, my car was able to pass, but I still have to get the struts fixed. $620 to get that fixed. T.T I don't have that kind of money atm. *dies* So i'll have to wait for my financial aid. Damn, don't even have it and it's already spent. Lame! Though I will try to put some money off to the side while waiting on it. I needed some new jeans as well. Good thing I didn't need any school supplies for the upcoming sememster. But it's still a bummer. Oh well, a working fixed car is better than no car at all. Oh and get this after I drove to work (this is after the test, oil change and tires), the check engine light went on. XD Talk about perfect timing._

_Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! =3_


	15. Woeswait what?

Something New 15

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_AN: i'm trying to use something to have for the line breaks because I don't know about you guys, but i've had to put them in manually as of late and I don't know why when they are with in the document. *shrugs*_

* * *

He laid in his bed holding on to his pillow, his lips hidden by it as he curled into a ball a top his sheets. His eyes trembled as they gazed at nothing in particular. Clutching his pillow tighter he closed he eyes. 'It's unfair.' he thought in his mind. 'It's unfair.' it chanted over and over as if to haunt him.

He knew he shouldn't have such feelings over such trivial matters. More often then not anything that'd happened in the house that was unfair didn't actually bother him. But this time for some reason it did. It bothered him greatly. And worst of all he felt like there was no one he could talk to about it. That no one would understand his feelings. Even if they showed that they cared, they would never truly understand. Everyone thought differently. One could be hurt by something, while another person in the same situation wouldn't be affected by it in the slightest. He felt cheated somehow. And yet his mind screamed at him to let it go. But he could not. As much as he tried to do so.

* * *

"Todays dessert is a homemade lemon cream truffled pie with cinnamon, a tea of Wilson's Earl Grey has been made to accompany it." Sebastian stated as Ciel picked up his fork. He took a bite and remained silent for a moment. "Does it not suit your taste?" he asked as he watched his master.

"It's nothing special." Ciel stated as he pulled the fork from his mouth.

"Well then perhaps after you've finished you can do some work. There are some papers that need to be looked at for our latest toy designs that are in need of approval."

"Ah." Ciel pushed the plate forward, the single bite was all that'd been taken from it. He picked up some papers and began to read. "You may go."

Sebastian bowed. "As you wish." When he got to the hallway, he clentched his fists, but his demenor was still that of the perfect butler.

"Sebastian" came Granny's voice as he walked past her open door.

This broke him out of his concentration as he peeked into her darkened room. "Granny?" he waited what she wanted.

"Come here dearie. My legs are bothering me more than usual." she smiled.

"Yes ma'am." he stepped into her room and stood before her. As a butler it was rather unusual to him to have to be told when he was to actually help her when she needed it. Her room was dark simply because her curtains were closed. Though it was his daily routine to open all the curtains of the house, Granny had made it quite clear to him he was only to open and close them when she stated. He was not to touch them to open or close them as he saw fit, nor was he to ask her if she wished for him to do so. These were the rules that'd she'd recently started on the terms of her room. He did admit to himself mentally that having them closed was making his fingers twitch as he wanted to open them to let some light in. His throat itched at wanting to ask, if nothing else as the perfect servant. Granny's rules made his scheduling for each day abit more complex. Having to plan for any unforeseen rule changes that may come on a whim.

"Sit." she pointed to the floor in front of her legs.

He raised a brow as that single word she stated was in a command like tone, but he said nothing and did as he was told. Leaving a foot of space between them.

"Closer." she stated. Making him move a little. "You know what I meant dearie. Closer." she stated.

He sighed as he moved closer than what he wanted to be. The side of his left thigh touching the floor closest to her. She grabbed him at the shoulders and pulled him forward and made him lay his head on her own thighs. Petting him as he sat there and waiting for her to speak, which didn't take long in the slightest.

"What's wrong?" She asked bluntly. Sebastian looked up at her stunned as he picked himself up a bit due to the shock of being found out. He thought he'd hidden it so well. Making sure there wasn't a single change in his demenor. "You can't hide it. Your clearly upset."

Sebastian calmed himself alittle as he went back to the position she'd put him in. Leaving his arms to hang limply at his sides.

"You know remaining silent isn't going to work for me."

He did know this all too well. He'd seen her get his master and the other servants to speak of things they probably hadn't thought about talking about that day. It seemed it was his turn. His usual tactic was to remain silent until she grew tired of him keeping silent. Though many a time things had been delayed. Not that Granny cared about schedules as she ran to the tune of her own beat. He felt a hint of more determination from her this time though. But as a demon, whining just seemed so human to him. Atleast, whining to another person anyway. Whining within his mind was okay.

* * *

As soon as the demon had left Ciel made sure his butler was gone a distance before he took a larger bite of the confection before him. It was hard to pretend something was average when it was so delicious. He had a plan in motion. He needed revenge.

But his revenge was going to play out and be a long process. But he saw it. The irritation the demon was feeling. That subtle change in his person was light, but Ciel was sure he saw it. He was lucky the demon hadn't taken the desserts away. Otherwise he was sure he'd cry. Or atleast sneak some late night snacks.

Which was hard to do when the demon was making his nightly rounds. Now he'd just have to think of an excuse at why the dessert was gone. It'd been the first dessert he'd had in a long while.

* * *

Sebastian sat still as Granny kept petting him. It'd been a good hour since she'd made him sit in front of her. But he was determined. He would not let a mere 13 year old human get the upper hand on him. Not matter how much it sent his nerves crawling with rage.

But Granny was equally persistent. Which meant that dinner would be delayed. He started running many scenarios through his mind on possible outcomes. A few scenarios in his mind had him running to Granny for protection to prevent a very long lecture from coming his way. He shook his head to erase such thoughts from his mind. He would not run to an old human for help.

He was going to be the bigger person. Not just in height but in maturity. He did admit that Granny rubbing his back was kind of nice. It didn't mean she was letting him go anytime soon though.

* * *

Ciel's plan was set in motion. The other servants were in on it. It was the perfect plan. He couldn't wait to see the demon's face when it'd finally be revealed. His elaborate plan that took careful planning, sneakiness, and even a few bits of pride going down the toilet a few times would make it worth it.

He would be the victor. He knew it. It was in his grasp. All he had to do was wait for the perfect moment, that one perfect moment that would give him bragging rights against the demon for hopefully many years to come. He'd planned it well. Wrote everything down to a T.

Wrote out scenarios, looked for ways for the demon to turn it against him. He was rather sure he'd gotten everything down to where nothing could go wrong. Nothing.

* * *

Sebastian could officially say he was frustrated with Granny. Every time he made a motion to get up. She made the motion of holding him by his upper arms to keep him in the spot he'd been in the for past few hours. Dinner was officially delayed. It was rather surprising his master had yet to yell at him for dinner being a whole 10 minutes late. Worst of all he hadn't even prepared anything. Thus even by the time he'd get to the kitchen, he'd still have to look for something to cook.

He looked up at her, "Granny?" he did in a cute voice. One thing he'd learned was cute worked with Granny. But it only worked after hours of stubborness. He gave her his most pathetic puppy dog eyes that he could muster.

"Yes Sebastian?" she petted his head.

On the inside he want to make her stop her petting, but if he changed his expression it'd ruin his escape plan. He let some tears come out from the edges of his eyes lightly. "I have to use the bathroom." he pleaded. Though he didn't have to actually go. He figured out of all the time he spent wasting him, it'd been more than enough time by human bladders to use it as an excuse. But only if he'd done it cutely. Otherwise Granny would tell him to hold it. His eyes grew even widder as he put pouty lips into motion.

"Aww how can I say no to that face?" she stated. Letting him go.

Sebastian could only think '_FREEDOM!'!_ as he was finally released. He stood up, and made a mad dash for the door.

"Be back in 15 minutes." came her voice from behind him.

_'CRAP!'_ he thought as his steps faultered slightly. He hadn't expected her to put him on a time limit. "Yes Granny." he smiled. As soon as he got away from the door he made a mad dash for the kitchen and unsurprisingly Bard was not in the kitchen. But he would deal with that later. He now only had 14 minutes to prepare a full course meal. Looking through the cubboards and fridge he was frantic. "Where did all the food go?" he shouted as he kept on with his search. All he found was some vegetables and eggs. "I know we just got some food three days ago." he kept on. More flustered for time.

Soon he was mixing everything to make a soup. Frying the eggs as a side. The pathetic dishes smelled wonderful, and would have to do considering the amounts of missing food that he didn't have time to hunt for. He was rather sure Bard had something to do with it. That much he was certain of. When he was finished he looked at his watch. He had 3 minutes to get himself back upstairs for the never ending silence.

He really could of cared less about going back to Granny's room. But since he was under the orders of his master to do as she wished he had no choice. Plating the meal. He quickly ran up the stairs as he put on his coat. He hastily looked at his watch. "1 minute to get back." he hurried. It really was troublesome to go by her schedule. He skidded just before the door to come to a halt. Taking a few brief seconds to compose himself. Then he peeked into her room. "Granny?"

"My, my, my your a verp punctual person aren't you?" she laughed at him.

"Dinner is ready." he stated as he stood within her doorframe.

"Oh? But it is that time now isn't it?" she got up from her chair. Grabbing her cane as she walked towards him. Smiling as she stood before him. "Don't think just because it's dinner time that your off the hook. Granny Master Detective will find out whats wrong with her little Blackie."

Sebastian shuddered at the nickname she'd given him. It was as bad as Grell calling him Sebby. Though atleast when Grell had given him a nickname it was his name that was used. He followed behind her as she walked to the dining hall. She stood before the doors as she waited for him to open them. "Excuse me." he walked passed her. Then jumped in surprise as confetti and popping sounds erupted at him.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEBASTIAN!" came Finni's shout soon after.

"Wha?..." He looked confused. It wasn't his birthday. That much he knew. His birthday was a few months away, not that he cared much about it.

"Geeze, do you know how hard it is to keep something from YOU." Bard emphasized. "I think keeping secrets from terrorists is easier."

"But today isn't my..." he started but was interrupted.

"Now, now." Ciel smirked. "Don't be modest, it's not everyday you turn..." his smile grew. "20 years old."

'20?' he thought as he stared blankly at his master. 20 was a rather unbelievable age for someone as experienced as himself. He eyed his master as he was forced to sit in a chair and a hat was placed on his head. As he looked about the table, he now saw where the vast majority of the food in the house went. Some burnt chicken, with a side of something he wasn't sure what it was, with runny vegetables was placed before him.

"I made this for you so you better appreciate it." Bard gloated.

Sebastian picked up a fork and poked at it for a moment. "Is this even edible?"

"Aww come on! I did my very best!" he defended himself.

"...Se...Sebastian." Maylene stuttered as she held something at him. It was a poorly wrapped gift. "..I...I...I got this for you...I..ho...hope you like it." she trembled.

He could already feel the migraine coming as he put on his best fake smile and took it from her. "Thank you." he put it on his lap and sat there.

"...Well aren't you going to open it?" Bard asked bluntly.

"Is it going to explode if I do?" he bluntly asked back.

Finni was drooling near the cake that Ciel had ordered special for the occastion. "I can't wait til I get a piece."

"My, my I feel so horrible. Sebastian you should of told me it was your birthday. No wonder you were so upset." Granny added.

He put a hand to his forehead as he sighed. Her answer was completely off the mark.

"Oie.." came Ciel's voice from beside him. He looked at his master with a hint of interest. "You'd better eat a huge piece of that cake. I gave up alot of homemade desserts to takes some of the finest cakes around town to find the best one."

Sebastian was stunned. So his master wasn't disappointed in his work? It was all nothing but a cruel trick to get him a random cake for a fake birthday. His master had made him get upset about his work over nothing. At first his jaw dropped. But then he had a smile on his face. "Of course young master. As a...gesture of good will, i'll let you have the first slice." he started cutting a piece.

"You'd better give me the first slice. I'm more master." Ciel stated in a bratty tone.

"Oh your going to get it alright." Sebastian positioned the plated with a rather large piece of cake on it in his hand. Ciel was practically drooling when he saw how big the piece was. It was triple the size Sebastian normally gave him. When he didn't give it to him immediately however he grew impatient.

"Well hurry up! I want some cake!" he shouted.

"Is that an order?"

"Yes! I order you to let me have it!"

"Yes my lord." Sebastian responded, just before smashing the cake, right into his masters face. Everyone just looked at what happened in silence. But soon Bard was smiling and giving him a thumbs up.

"I didn't know you had it in you man! Good job!"

"Ahhh young master!" Finni shouted, actually worried.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka stated as he ate a slice of cake next to Granny. Though it was questionable when he'd gotten it.

"Y...young master...?" Maylene inquired as she saw Ciel peel off the plate from his face. He was covered in cake, and very irratated.

"Sebastian." he growled.

"Remember young master you ordered me to do it." he smiled slyly.

Ciel could only think of how pissed he was. All his planning to get revenge at the demon was wasted. The demon had beaten him to the punchline. He had every intention of shoving a piece of cake in the demons face, and rubbing it in his face. "Bastard..." he growled as he picked up some cake and tossed it at the demon. Who merely dodged it by doing an incomplete backflip allowing it to his Maylene instead.

"Oh my, how wasteful you are young master. It seems you'll need a lesson on not wasting food."

"Damn you! Give me back my revenge!" he went to pick up another slice of cake. But Sebastian beat him to it.

"Yes my lord." he slapped another piece of cake in his masters face. Licking abit of frosting that'd gotten on his glove. "Hmm...royal icing, I didn't think you thought so highly of me young master. I'm honored." he smiled.

"Bastard!" Ciel kept trying to hit the demon with cake.

He just kept dodging it. Much to his master's annoyance. But he had to say, his fake birthday was rather enjoyable. He still wasn't going to open Maylene's gift without a shield in front of himself. Only disappointment was the mess he was going to have to clean when his masters rage wore off. Atleast he now knew why his master was being so picky about his snacks lately.

* * *

_I'm sure alot of people are probably thinking, what was the point of this chapter? You made us wait for that? XD Well honestly. This is around the time I discovered Kuroshitsuji. So I wanted to make a nice birthday chapter for it. I couldn't give you an exact day if you asked me for it. But I know it was around something in the late summer/fall time period. I choose Sebastian specifically because...well...come on it's Sebastian, and this fic he's gotta learn something right? XD_

_As of late i've just been feeling exhausted even though i've lost a day of work, and they've still yet to fill it. Uhhhgggghh.. I think i'm so tired because I was stressing about it so much and now it's just like...relax...relax...I've pretty much given up on it. Goodnews is, it doesn't screw me over in terms of bills. Badnews is, any emergency income is now stretched out even more. Awww. . . Atleast I got my Sebastian Taeyang and Ciel (in Suit) Dal dolls XP. They scare people because they can blink. Lol. I still wanna get the Sebby Teacher, Ciel in a dress and Grell, but I got the other ones first because those are starting to be hard to find. So if anyone is looking for them. I recommend Ebay and if you see it for about 160 or less buy it! Because when the prices go up they go up. One dude was selling the Regular Sebastian one for almost 500 dollars x.X So luckily you can still get them at regular price atm. I don't know how long that'll last though._

_Hey give me credit. Atleast i'm honest about it. I did open the Sebastian one to show my friend, but he's back in his box now until I get him some kind of nice chair to put him in. Or a nice table. Or what not. I haven't decided yet. XD _

_Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to write more on my other fics soon. I just gotta try to get out of this tired stump. Uhhh...if anyone has any advice, i'll gladly take it. Though I do think it's the exhaustion of stress. Stupid work. . School starting soon is not helping!_

_Hybreed: Thank you so much for the pictures! I love them so much. Especially the Sebastian in drag picture. XD You did an awesome job on them. =3_


	16. Human Health with extra cleaning

Something New 16

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Note: In this chapter there's something that did not exist for the time period (give me credit here i'm being honest), but considering all the other stuff Kuroshitsuji has (Cellphones, Nintendo, etc.). I figure this is something I can sorta kinda get away with. xD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Ciel!" The bouncy blonde tackled her fiance to the twirl him in a speedy circle. He thought he was going to loose his lunch if she didn't stop soon.

"Ell...lliizzzz...aaa...beethh...stooppp!" he pleaded. She promptly stopped, but hugged him tightly.

"Elizabeth show some manners!" Frances scolded, allowing Ciel some much needed air as Elizabeth let him go.

"Ah...sorry mother."

"Oh my Marchioness, what an unexpected visit. Would you like some tea?" Sebastian said politely.

"Ah Sebastian, looking as indecent as ever." She glared at him. Making Sebastian sweat a little as he feared she'd attack him again with her comb.

"I apologize..."

"Ciel have you heard of the latest trend that's been going on of late?" she turned from him back to her nephew.

"Trend?" he raised his brow as he stared at his aunt.

She pulled out a flyer and held it in front of him. "Yes, it's a new technique being used for health purposes." she gave a sly smile at Sebastian, who cringed at the memory of the last health purpose he'd endured. He still wasn't able to forgive his master and the Marchioness for it. She on the other hand was rather loving his reaction. Then officially gave Ciel the paper so he could read it.

Skimming thought the flyers contents, Ciel looked at her puzzled. "Colonic? What's a colonic?"

"It's something that's cleanse your colon. And as much sweets as you eat I thought you could go through a session."

"Cleaning your colon? I've never heard of such a thing being forced. One's body does it naturally." Sebastian stated as he looked over his master at the flyer himself.

"This is true. But with all the sweets my nephew eats everyday a little extra cleaning wouldn't hurt. And as an added bonus you can come along Sebastian." she saw him cringe again. Her definition of come along actually meant he was doing it too. "Don't forget the other servants." she smirked.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

They stood outside the very doors that just seemed to have a haunting aura. Even Sebastian looked visibly nervous as he shifted every so often like he was going to make a dash for the nearest exit. The only problem with his plan was the Marchioness was holding his hand in a death grip to ensure he couldn't escape. Though if anyone had saw them they'd either think it was rather odd for a noble woman to be holding the hand of a butler. Or that they were dating and showing their love. The first being most likely, considering who the noble woman was. The door opened making everyone except the Marchioness jump as the doctor came out.

"Well, well. Marchioness it's so nice to see you." the old man stated. "Your just in time for your appointments."

"Appointments?" Sebastian looked puzzled.

"Ah yes, I figured since everyone was...coming along..." She squeezed his hand a little more when she felt him try to give her the slip when she got distracted for a brief moment. "That we might as well get some physicals done as well."

"Auntie I just got a physical a few months ago." Ciel stated. "I don't need another one." He wasn't looking forward to being told he wasn't growing twice in the same year.

"Oh well, might as well do it again." she dragged Sebastian into the room as she walked in first. His eyes were just pleading for help as he looked back at his master and the other servants. Elizabeth was following her mother with a smile on her face.

When everyone was in the room, everyone was shifting nervously.

"Ah...young master...this is soo...embarrassing." Maylene blushed as she had thoughts of Sebastian finding out her measurements. The image in her mind was of Sebastian saying, "Oh my Maylene, I never knew you had the perfect body. Your the girl for me." This thought made her nose bleed a little.

"I'm as healthy as an ox, I don't need a physical." Bard stated as he pulled his cigarette from his mouth.

"Ahhhh I don't wanna get a shot!" Finni cried. The trama of experimentations haunting him. He clung to Bard for comfort.

"Oie! Let go!" Bard tried to shove him off.

"Will you all keep silent?" Ciel shouted as he became frustrated. Their constant whining was just angering him all the more about his own physical.

"Aww it's alright everyone, I won't hurt you all." the doctor smiled at them even though he was old, he hardly showed it in his stature. "Of course my nurse shall examine the ladies. I shall take care of the males."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Bard did his best to resist the urge of lighting a cigarette. The doctor was currently measuring Finni and jotting down the results.

"Alright, your growing quite nicely." he smiled at Finni. "Keep this up and you could be as tall as your butler or chef." he encouraged.

"Really? Cause.. I want to be really, really tall!" his eyes sparkled in delight.

"Of course, just be sure to eat healthy. Now if you could stand on the scale so we can get your weight. We'll nearly be finished." he motioned to the scale. Finni practially jumped on it. His bare feet making sounds as he ran and skipped. After a few moments of silence, "Ah your weight is just a little high. You may want to cut down on the junk food, just a little bit okay?"

"Okay!" Finni shouted with glee. It didn't seem to bother him that he'd just been told he was a few pounds over weight.

"Bard it's your turn." he motioned for the chef to come to him.

Sebastian took this opportunity to lean over to his master as Bard was removing his shirt to get measured. "Young master..." he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Forgive me but...why do humans care so much about their measurements and weight? It seems rather silly to care so much."

"Some people can't stand being over weight, it's something of an obession to some people."

"But in terms of dieting wouldn't just eatting less sweets be simpler?"

"Some people can't seem to get that concept."

"I see." he sat up straight again.

"Now I have a question..." Ciel looked at his butler.

"Oh?"

"Why the sudden question. I thought you didn't care about that sort of stuff."

"Young master I actually do care about my weight. If I was to go above my normal weight I think i'd have an anxiety attack. Do you know how many demons are obese? It's rather frightening."

"So are you saying your weight concious?"

"Exactly." he rubbed at his belly. "I couldn't stand it if i'd gotten fat."

Ciel smirked at his butler. "Now I know something your self concious of."

"Young master being self concious of my weight isn't so bad. Besides could you imagine having an overweight butler? Disgusting. Besides atleast it's not as bad as being exceedingly short." he giggled.

"Oie!" he got off his seat ready to smack his butler. That was a cheap shot and he knew Sebastian knew it.

"Sebastian Michealis!" The doctor called as Bard was walking into the next room in disappointment. An obvious sign that he was probably not where he wanted to be on his measurements. He was going into the room for his colonic.

Sebastian got up avoiding his master's slap to the head, he slyly looked at his master as he fumed in his seat. Looking at the doctor when he was standing a few feet before him.

"Could you please remove your shoes, coat, vest and shirt?" he asked with a smile as he started working on making Sebastian's file. "Just give me a moment, it seems we don't have a medical file on you. I apologize I think we lost it."

"It's not a problem." he stated as he pulled his coat and tie off. Once he was down to his shirt and pants he started to remove his shoes to show his black socks. Then finally he removed his shirt.

"Tch." Ciel scoffed as he watched his butlers remove his garments. A hint of jealousy in his features. He made it rather obvious he was hoping to grow like Sebastian. He wanted to be just as tall if not taller, and well built. But having it rubbed in his face was making him angry.

Sebastian smiled in delight as he saw his master become green with envy. Even if his master did grow to have the same body type as him. He could still gloat that he wouldn't get old, wrinkled or saggy. But for now he was using his height as a mocking gesture that his master was still short even at the age of 13. He was sure he'd crack up in laughter if Elizabeth actually got taller than him. He stood still as he got measured.

"Your measurements are perfect Mr. Michealis. Now if you could please stand on the scale."

"Of course." he got on the scale. He awaited the verdict on his weight. He hated getting his weight measured, even when he was in school in the demon world. Demons were surprisingly the same as humans when it came to certain things.

"Hmmm, your weight is actually on par for your height. A tad over, but nothing to worry about."

"A tad...over?" he looked at the doctor stunned.

"Just by 2 pounds. Nothing the colonic won't fix, just be sure to watch your junk food intake."

"Uhh...right..." he stood there in shock. He couldn't believe he'd gained 2 pounds. Before he met Ciel he was at his perfect weight for a centuries. He tried to think of what could of caused his weight gain. He didn't think tasting the foods he made would make him gain such an amount of weight.

"If you just go into the next room we can have the colonic done immediately." he smiled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian laid on the table in the medical gown as he awaited the proceedure. He was shocked about his weight, but now he was really nervous about what was going to happen. He didn't want anything to be snipped from his body like the circumcision.

"Now then sir if you could please lay on your side and relax this should go smoothly." a male nursed stated to him.

Nodding he laid on his side. He didn't have much time to ponder why he had to lay on his side because suddently something was inserted into his rear, making his eyes bulge out of his sockets. He was anything but calm when the tube was pushed in further.

"Alright sir i'm going to start the cleansing. It'll feel very strange, and may even hurt just a little from the pressure, but otherwise you'll be fine."

'Oh my!...Am I being molested?' Sebastian thought in his mind as suddenly he felt the pressure that was stated only a moment ago. He started shifting his legs as he was very uncomfortable. It was being constipated only stuff was coming out of ones person. He was taking deep breaths as the proceedure was taking place.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After the colonic was done, Sebastian was reweighed. He felt like he now knew what it was like for a woman to have cramps on their monthly cycle as his lower area hurt from the cleansing. "Well then Mr. Michealis, you've lost a good 4 pounds from the colonic."

When he heard those words he was jumping for joy on the inside. As it was getting done he was planning quite the exercise regimen.

"Uwaahhh!" Came Ciel's shout from the next room. This put a smile on Sebastian's face.

"You can get dressed now." the doctor stated as he exited the room.

Sebastian was just thinking of the many ways he could use this against his master. Sadly anything he thought up could be turned against him as he'd gone through the same thing. After he was finished dressing he saw everyone just sitting in the waiting room. No one was looking very happy. Even the Marchioness, even though it was her idea.

"Sebastian! Sebastian! Sebastian save me!" came Ciel's shout.

"The young master is calling you." Tanaka stated as he was reading a news paper.

"Sebastian for the love of god! Save me!"

Sebastian looked at the door leading to where his master was.

"I'm being molested! Save me!"

"I don't feel like it." he finally said as he took a seat and leaned the lower half of his body forward.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The carriage ride home was nothing short of constant yelling. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?" he shouted at his butler as soon as the carriage started to move.

"It wasn't an order." he stated blunty. "Besides you weren't even in any danger."

"I was molested!"

"Well then...so was the rest of us." he groaned. "Uhhh now I know what it's like for a female to get cramps. Never again...i'm never getting a colonic again."

"Damn you." Ciel muttered. He should of known the demon would of noticed the technicality of his call for help. "Next time i'm in that situation, save me, that's an order."

"Are you saying your gonna do it again?" he raised a brow with a smile.

"NO!"

"I think it was useful. I feel good." Frances stated even though she looked exhausted. "I lost those few extra pounds as well."

"Wait...you made the rest of us go so you could lose a few extra pounds?" Ciel looked at her stunned.

"That...and the fact that the doctor stated if I brought atleast 7 other people with me it'd be free."

"Ciel! We should do it again in a year! It'll help keep us fit!" Elizabeth stated excitedly. She, like her mother, were the only ones excited about it.

"Marchioness, next time you wish to do a physical cleaning of my person. Don't, i'd rather have the extra weight." Sebastian curled in his seat a little.

"Nooo! Overweight is bad! Ciel don't let him become fat!" Elizabeth shouted in her usual fashion.

"I'm so honored that you would have concern for my well being Miss Elizabeth." he smiled.

"Elizabeth, don't show concern to him!"

"And to think next week we'll be going to the dentist." Frances smirked.

"Eh?" Ciel, Sebastian and Elizabeth looked at her in confusion. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ciel and Elizabeth shouted after. Sebastian was thinking the same thing, but considering how loud they were being he had to cover his ears.

"And from what the doctor stated Sebastian still has his wisdom teeth that are due for a pulling." she gave him an evil look.

"I like my wisdom teeth. They make me smart." he smiled.

"Yeah, smart assed." Ciel stated.

"Young master, tis better to be a smart ass than to be a dumb ass." his smile grew.

Ciel scoffed as everyone laughed at him. Even the servants driving the carriage heard it, so they considered it to be quite funny.

"See, even they got it. That's saying alot." Sebastian added he pointed behind him toward the other servants.

"Oh shut up!" Ciel shouted, then smirked. "COUNTESS!"

Sebastian cringed. "Why are you calling me that?"

"Because only women worry about their weight, and you were worrying about it at our appointment, thus your a woman."

'Damn.' he thought, 'The young master turned this against me. I have to think of something quick.'

"What's the matter? No come back?"

"Oh no. I was just thinking how fabulous I am as a woman. I have the body, the hair, and..." he smirked. "The HEEEEIIGGGHTT." he emphasized it. "It's really quite wonderful. Especially since the young master only has the physic of a young girl."

"Damn it." he cursed.

"Though you make a fabulous woman Sebastian, I must state your also a baby." Frances poked at him, as she made a scissor motion with her fingers. Hinting when he got circumsized.

"That's not funny, it really hurt." he pouted as he looked like he wanted to cry a little.

"I stand at my point." she smiled at him.

Sebastian just stared at her, because for the first time, he honestly didn't now what to say. The current score was Sebastian 0, Frances 1. The lesson he'd learned from this was, keep your mouth shut in the face of a strong woman. She'll blackmail you. Even if that woman obeyed the rules more often than not, and tortured you with lessons you would probably never use, even a demon, even though said woman didn't know you were a demon. He made a mental note to eat her someday. As revenge for bring up his past pain. Though he was sure he'd have to use some salt to flavor her.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Well another chapter is out. I kept seeing too many commercials about colon cleansing, and it put the thought into my mind on how it might work out. XD_

_I don't know if I grossed anyone out, or actually made them laugh. But oh well it was worth it to get the colonic thing out of my system. Lol. XD In writing. XD _

_I guess chapter 2 of Kigeki: Aftermath didn't interest anyone, oh well. It was mostly a filler anyway. If anyone is curious school starts for me August 23rd, so i'ma try to get more chapters out of some fics before it starts. Note I said try, cause I still have alot to do. I apologize now if it takes me a while for updates. DON'T HURT ME!_

_Liathano: I wanted to answer you inquiry, but I have no way of contacting you. Could you please send me a private message so that way I can speak with you about it? Thankies._


	17. Now that's just plain stupid

Something New 17

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_This happened to me at work last night, and I just had to make a fic outta it even though what happened to me took 30 seconds. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It took alot to get himself off his bed that morning. He wasn't sleeping, but he simply did not feel like getting up and doing anything. He litterally had to drag himself out of bed and force himself to put on his uniform to get ready for the day. He heard a large bang, some shouting, followed by some screaming and then finally some crying. Sebastian could already feel it was going to be a long day. "Uhhhhh..." he fell back on his bed. He already felt like today was going to be a crappy day.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was jotting down notes as he made out a list of expected guests that were to arrive at the manor. It was a short list. Consisting of guests that his master had to entertain on behalf of the queen. They were esteemed guests and had to have the Phantomhive service. He also made a note of the silverware, dishes and other valuables, simply because one person in particular was known for taking things without permission.

"Sebastian!" Bard shouted. "The lettuce has arrived!" he stated as he came in with a crate of lettuce.

"Ahh.." he checked that off his list. "Put that in the corner for now. Have the potatoes and carrots arrived yet?"

"Not yet. I'm guessing they'll be here soon." he stretched.

"I see. Please let me know when those have arrived."

"Yes sir!" he saluted.

Sebastian walked out of the kitchen with his clipboard, still writing down notes, and a list of things still required for the evening. Today was the day of all days however. That he wasn't feeling well. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he was very tired, and simply wanted to relax. Even though yesterday was his day off, and all he did was stay in bed until he had to be at work in the morning. He still felt very tired, and aggitated. He sighed as he didn't feel like dealing with anyone. Not the other servants, not his master, and most certainly not the expected guests. If he could, he would of taken the liberty of having abit of alone time in the garden with his precious girlfriend. But unfortunately the schedule was jam packed, and he'd be lucky if he got two seconds to himself. He heard someone at the door and proceeded to open it even as he put the clipboard under his arm. "May I help you?" he asked.

"I'm here on the behalf of Lord Dubar." the man responded. He was reasonably thin, but slightly chubbier than Sebastian. A foot shorter than him. Balding on the top of his head, had a curled mustash, and eyes that for some unknown reason pissed Sebastian off to no end.

"What is your name sir?" he asked.

"Uh huh." the man responded as he toyed with his mustash.

'Oh...Gwwaaawd.' Sebastian thought as the man was annoying him more than anyone in the past few minutes. "So am I to assume your name is uh huh, then?" he asked as he grew impatient.

"Oh, my name is Professor Lansley." the man clarified. Sebastian jotted this information on his clipboard as the man handed him a letter of verification.

"Well then Sir." his eye twitched. "It is rather early for your arrival. I Shall take you to the lounge so that you may await the other guests." he put on his most pleasant fake smile.

"Oh good. And make me a scotch." the man hobbled in.

Sebastian gloomily closed the door, but went back to his fake smile before the man could notice and lead him to the lounge. "Right here sir." he opened the door.

"Thank you." he took a seat. Watching Sebastian as he prepared his scotch for him. As soon as he was finished. He handed it to the man.

"Do you require anything else sir?" he asked.

"No thank you." he took a drink.

"Very well then I shall go back to my duties then, and notify the young master that you are here."

"Hmmm." the man waved him off, as if Sebastian was the one wasting his time.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After Sebastian had left it was like he was having a teenager moment. Doing a head motion as part of his lip was raised. His facial expression was one of annoyance as he silently repeated the man's stupidity. Rolling his eyes as he did so in his actions. 'Some humans can be so aggrivating.' he thought as he went back to his work. Still having his teenager moment.

"What's with you?" Bard asked as he saw the butler come back.

"Am I allowed to slap guests?" he simply asked as he continued with his work.

Bard's eyes bulged out of his head, "Oh my god what happened?" he panicked. For some reason sexual harrassment came to his mind as Sebastian's simple question.

Sebastian raised a brow. "It's nothing that extreme. A guest has simply annoyed me with his stupidity."

"What did he do?" Bard sighed in relief. He remembered the last time an unwanted guest had come to the house. It resulted in Sebastian getting hit on, a nasty closet, and a ruined dessert. As a result Bard secretly got slightly protective of the other servants who were younger than me. Or atleast thought to be younger than him. He wasn't sure of Sebastian's age. And he knew he could take care of himself. But acts of sexual harrassment set him off most of the time.

"I simply asked him his name and he stated to me uh huh." he started doing his head motion as if it was doing quick shakes.

"What did you say?" Bard looked confused, and intrigued at the same time. Never had he seen the butler so aggrivated to the point of doing teenager motions.

"I simply stated, "So I am to assume your name is uh huh?"" he quoted himself. "It was after he told me his name was Professor Lansley." for some reason Bard listening brought a slight smile to his face. For once someone was listening to his little rant instead of the other way around.

Bard started laughing after Sebastian had finished his explaination. It was just too funny. "What an idiot!" he said after he'd calmed down.

"Indeed." Sebastian laughed through his nose slightly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian had served the dinner and was currently pouring the wine. The man Professor Lansley, still annoyed him to no end. He wished he could just simply smack the man and be done with it. Ciel took notice of the change in the demon's demenor, but it was something only those who knew him would really notice as it was slight. And somehow, coming off as childish to him. He smiled as he put a slice of meat into his mouth to cover up his smile.

When the entertainment was done and the servants were cleaning. Sebastian came into the kitchen pushing in a cart full of dirty dishes. He walked by Bard, and with a smile on his face. "So what's your name?" he asked.

"Uhhh huh." Bard responded with a snicker.

"No no, it's uh huh." he corrected amusingly. "It has to be more stupid like."

"Oh uh huh." he repeated. He was rather enjoying Sebastian's child moment. Apart of him was joyus because it felt like he and Sebastian had a joke that no one else would get. A joke between two men that knew what it was about. He wasn't at a bar having a drink while attempting to get a woman, but this was just as good. It wasn't everyday one got to joke around with the Sebastian Michealis, and not get a triple ice cream.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Huuuaaahhh." Sebastian sat on the sofa as he tried to relax from a long and tiring day of work. His arms were at his sides as his head was tilted back. The other servants looked as though they were equally dying. Even though it was Sebastian who had to clean all of their mistakes and messes.

Bard smiled for a brief moment as he lifted his weary head. "So what's your name?" he said in a voice different from his own as he looked at Sebastian.

Sebastian snorted and fell on his side on the sofa as he started cracking up with laughter. Even hours later the joke seemed to be very funny. Though this left the others confused as to why such a simple sentence could cause him so much laughter. He covered his face with his arm as he tried to calm himself down. He cursed himself for being unable to get the joke out of his head. Sharing his annoyance with Bard had worked for and against him at the same time.

Ciel came in as he blinked several times as he saw his butler laughing hysterically. Bard had a huge grin on his face, while everyone else just seemed perplexed. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"I don't know." Finni stated as he watched Sebastian punch at the couch a couple of times. He still couldn't seem to stop laughing. "Bard just asked him what's his name and he started cracking him."

The moment Finni finished his explaination Sebastian started laughing even more. Bard seemed to join in as he too started laughing. Ciel had a smile on his face as the laughter seemed to become contagious. But at the same time he raised a brow and walked over to where his butler lay. "What's your name?" he asked, to see the reaction he'd get.

Sebastian managed to stop laughing for only a brief moment. "Uh huh." was his response before he laughed some more. He was clutching his stomach as it started to hurt from so much laughter. Bard just let out coughs of laughter.

"How is that funny?" Maylene asked.

"I don't get it." Finni looked as though he wanted to cry a little since he didn't understand the joke.

Sebastian panted as he was finally able to calm his laughter down. Taking deep breaths to calm his nerves.

"Okay now that your...calm. Explain his random joke that you and Bard seem to have." Ciel all but demanded.

Sebastian took a final deep breath before speaking. "That Professor Lansley." he started but was cut off.

"What about him?" Ciel asked.

"I had asked him his name upon his arrival and instead of a proper response he responded to me as uh huh." he snorted alittle as he tried to keep his laughter down.

"Now how is this funny?" he asked his butler.

"Well after I stated, "Shall I assume your name is uh huh then?" and it was after he stated, "Oh, my name is Professor Lansley."" he smiled.

"Whhaat?" Ciel's expression was that of confusion and amusement at the same time. "That's stupid."

"I know!" he became more teenager like again. "There wasn't even any noise around when i'd asked. That's the sad part young master." he said with excitement. "I feel smart. The people you know make me feel extra smart." he had a huge grin on his face.

"I still don't get it." Finni whined.

"Ahh don't you see, there wasn't anything interfering with the question, so when Sebastian clearly asked what his name was he said it was uh huh." Bard tried to explain. "He was paying full attention to him. That's what makes it's funny!"

"Oooohh!" he looked as though he'd been enlightened.

"You still don't get it do you?" Bard asked.

"Nope." Finni responded with a smile.

"Bah!" he threw a towel at Finni's face. "Kids just don't get the simple jokes."

"It doesn't really matter. It made my day." Sebastian smiled. Apart of him still felt like he would rather be in bed and lay the day away. But that one moment was a good little tidbit. It gave him alittle bit of energy that was needed very much. "Ahhh." he signed as he leaned back in his seat. He didn't know about anyone else but he felt like he could use one of those massages that Elizabeth made everyone get before.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Preparing his master for bed. Sebastian pulled back the comforter to allow his master to crawl between the sheets. They'd been silent since the joke had finally died down. Ciel's only consolation was that the lame joke had pretty much died finally. Even if it did bring mild amusement for a few minutes.

Sebastian grabbed the candle holder and proceeded to leave so his master could sleep. He turned on last time to look at his master sitting on his bed. "Get some good rest alright uh huh?" he said quickly.

Ciel started cracking up for a moment. "Shut up you idiot!" he said with all smiles. He just couldn't say it with a straight face. Even as he shoved his face in his pillow in an attempt to calm down.

Sebastian giggled before leaving the room and closing the door. The day was ending with a lame joke indeed.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Well this is pretty much the shortest chapter of Something New. I wrote this because while at work last night I got a truck driver, and I asked him his name and he went Uh huh. And then I said, "So I guess your name is Uh huh?" with an attitude because I was annoyed as hell. And then he told me his name. He turned off his truck so I could hear him. If anyone knows anything about 18 wheeler trucks, its that when they are on they make loud noises due to the engine. And it's very hard to hear when someone is speaking to you. When they are off you can hear everything clear as day. So it's easy to hear someone._

_Pretty much some of this is what actually happened at work. I'd asked if I was allowed to slap the truck driver and my co worker/friend thought i'd gotten sexually harrassed. It's happened at the site before, but not to me specifically. Truthfully the person it did happen to gave the opening. It wasn't even really sexually harrassment when it'd happened to her. The reason we know this is because at the time of it for her 3 years ago she'd told the truck driver, "I don't want to do this right now." after allowing him in the office. She also admitted to allowing him to stay, and yeah... Let's just say her actions contradicted her claim for sexual harrassment. I won't go into the full details._

_But anyway going back, when I asked if I was allowed to slap truck drivers, and then cleared up the issue with my co worker/friend so she didn't think some kind of harrassment or assault happened. I explained to her what had happened and then we'd gotten a good laugh about it and joked about it. Pretty much in this chapter kinda felt and did what I was feeling and did, though there were some changes. _

_Like I wasn't feeling so hot. I didn't eat for 2 days. I did have to drag myself outta bed on saturday to go to work, force myself to eat, etc. But last night I still wasn't feeling good, but still had to go to work cause they reduced my hours so I can't afford to miss work at all. Didn't wanna see anyone but unfortunately a truck driver came and his stupidity just showed right then and there. So I just had to make a chapter on it. XD _

_Hope you all got some amusement out of this chapter. XP I just really felt like I needed to type something up on it. _


	18. Are you serious?

Something New 18

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_I decided a chapter with Tanaka talking was in dire order o3o I have three words for this Cosby Show and Roseanne. XD_

_Also forgive me I did have this type up, well, quite a while back. Let me put it this way, 17...was actually typed after this xD, but I was editing this so I just uped the other story first. Sorry!_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Tanaka was reading the newspaper in his typical chibi form. Sipping his tea every so often as he read each article throughly. One particular ad caught his attention, and soon his features were mixed with worry and mild humor. Shaking it off, he got up and got himself another cup of tea. But the particular article would not leave his mind. It kept coming back at him as if it were haunting him like a ghost. Unable to allow such a feeling go away, he decided to put his mind at ease and settle the matter with his own hands.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was pushing the cart with tea to his masters room as per the usual routine every morning. Knocking on the door, then walking in, he woke his master after opening the curtains. Pouring the tea. "Todays tea is a vanilla jasmine. Today's breakfast will be a mint salad, citrus fruit, and a muffin to accompany it. Would you like blueberry or banana young master?"

"Banana." he yawned before sipping his tea. He watched as Sebastian picked out his clothing for the day and opened his little book on the day's schedule.

"Today you have a latin lesson at 9 am. After lunch there is a meeting with the ceo of a fabric company for possible future business. Followed by your music lesson. Then after dinner, we're having a family meeting...wait a minute." he looked over his book again to make sure he'd read it right. He knew he hadn't written it as the handwriting wasn't his own. He tried to think at who would take his scheduling book and add such a silly thing. "My apologies young master, i'll make sure to speak with whomever wrote that as apart of the days schedule." he stated. He knew one thing. It wasn't his master's, Maylene, or Finni's handwriting. Which only left Bard and Tanaka.

Ciel sipped his tea as he too was puzzled, as well as amused, the demon's expression was quite funny. Saddened only by the fact that he didn't put it there.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

In the kitchen all the servants were awaiting their orders. Sebastian came walking in. "Good morning everyone." he stated.

"Man Sebastian...seriously...a family meeting? What are you thinking?" Bard whined. This shocked Sebastian, since he hadn't even mentioned anything yet.

"How did you know about that?" he asked.

Bard held up a piece of paper. "This was tacked to the bathroom door."

Sebastian took it and looked it over. If Bard hadn't written it, then it only left..."Tanaka." he mumbled. Curiosity was filling his mind as he debated on actually not allowing the meeting, or to just see what it was about. Since Tanaka hardly did anything he just opted to see what it was about.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

When dinner was over, and Sebastian had everyone meet in the lounge. Everyone stood idly as they waited for the elder man to appear.

"Sebastian I thought you were taking care of this?" Ciel asked aggitated.

"I am young master, i'm having us see what this whole...family meeting is about. I feel that if Tanaka has set this up it must be of great importance if he went as far as to add it to my schedule book for you."

"Tch." he scoffed as he looked away from the demon.

"Good evening everyone." Tanaka came in his normal appearance.

"It's normal Tanaka!" Finni shouted with glee.

He smiled as sat in a recliner, "Could everyone please take a seat?" he asked. Watching as everyone gave him wary looks before taking a seat. Except for Sebastian who stood by his master. "Sebastian you as well please."

Sebastian blinked "Tanaka I do no believe it is necessary for me to sit." he responded.

Tanaka smiled at him pleasantly, "I understand your feelings Sebastian, but as the House Steward, I simply must tell you that you need to sit." he motioned to the availiable seating.

Sebastian only had one thought in mind, 'Damn him! He pulled rank on me!' then looked to his master who simply nodded. Taking a seat right between his master and Finni on the sofa.

"I'm sure your all wondering why I am having this family meeting today."

"While I think your method is perplexing, I have to ask what family?" Sebastian put it bluntly. "None of us are related."

Tanaka smiled as he watched Sebastian be his typical self. "Well...I guess I should state that as a member of the Phantomhive servants, we are like well molded family who help each other and share our feelings. You may not understand but I consider you all my family."

Sebastian gave him a look that clearing was stating that he thought Tanaka was crazy but said nothing of it. "Why have you called this...family meeting?"

"I wanted to ask you all..." he started then stopped as if he were thinking for a moment. "...what..." he coughed again. Then took a deep breath. "I know and understand that you all are very young."

Ciel snorted as he looked at Sebastian when Tanaka stated that. Making Tanaka look at him for a moment.

"Your all healthy, young adults. And I want you all to know, that if you need anyone to talk to about anything. Anything at all. That i'm here."

Everyone silently looked at him. Blank expressions apparent on all their faces. "OH MY GOD ARE YOU GIVING US THE TALK?" Bard shouted. Everyones eyes practically buldged out of their heads as they looked at Tanaka with utter shock.

"Indeed I am. I'm very concerned."

"What brought this on Tanaka?" Ciel asked as soon as he was able to compose himself.

"I've been reading that the pregnancy rates have gone up lately. And i'm worried that if we don't have this discussion, that the possiblities of what could happen could happen at any given moment."

"Tanaka,...we don't live in town. We all work all day. When would we have time for...sex." Bard added.

Tanaka coughed several times. "I'm sure that as young as you all are your imaginations wouldn't...hinder the possibilities of when and where. But I just want you all to know that i'm here should you all have any questions, or if you need to talk to someone if something happens. I understand while I might be a pale substitute for your real families, I hope that you will all see me as a valuable person of information."

Sebastian put his hands on his face as he started cracking up with laughter. He was doing a miserable job of keeping it in. To him it was utterably ridiculous. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, and wiping his face to "remove the smile." he let out one final breath before speaking. "Tanaka, while your concern is well...appreciated. I don't think it is necessary."

"Yeah I mean. The young master already has a fiance, Maylene only has eyes for Sebastian. Finni...let's be honest probably has no idea what we're talking about. If I had to take a guess Sebastian and I are probably the only two who've had the...the talk. And we work too much to even have time for that." Bard responded.

"This is true. But your all also very young and healthy adults. I mean no disrespect to the young master. But having a fiance doesn't mean it'd deter him from certain...urges. And we're a house who's got many healthy young males and one female. We're a limited number in staff in a big house. The possibilities are endless. While I love to think that you all are responsible to keep yourselves in check. There's also the fact that things can happen. I don't want you all to think there is no one to speak to about this simply because no one here is related."

Maylene was shifting in her seat awkwardly. Blushing as she suddenly thought the hem of her dress looked very interesting. Finni simply looked at everyone confused. Bard rubbed the back of his head. Ciel looked bored. And Sebastian was looking at his watch as if he was keeping the discussion on a schedule. Tanaka sighed in frustration.

"How about we do a scenario." he stated. "Let's say...that one of you is pregnant."

This made Bard laugh. "Well we know who's not pregnant." he stated. Making Maylene blush.

"Okay Bard. Your pregnant." Tanaka stated bluntly. "What would you do upon discovering you were pregnant."

"Uhh...well..." his expression changed as he was caught off guard. Ciel and Sebastian were giggling as they watched him become very uncomfortable at being put on the spot. "I'd want to know how someone did it."

"It just happened." Tanaka added.

"Then i'd like to know who did it."

Sebastian was still snickering. Ciel was trying to cover his smirk.

"Okay you don't know who did it. What would you do?"

"Well..." he looked at the others. "I'd probably keep silent about it for a while."

"If you got pregnant you wouldn't tell anyone?" he raised a brow.

"Well i'd be worried that the young master would be mad. And that i'd get fired for having relations without permission."

Tanaka looked at him shocked. "I can understand where your coming from but you shouldn't hide it if you were pregnant. Even if you didn't want to tell the young master directly you could always talk to me or Sebastian in the least."

"Sebastian? You want me to talk to Sebastian if I was pregnant? He'd probably be the one who got me pregnant in the first place!"

"Hey now!" Sebastian butted in. "I most certainly would not bed with you! I have standards!" he stated bluntly.

"Hey give me some credit here! Atleast I chose a looker." he shot back.

"That's not the point!" Sebastian shot back. "And even so as the Phantomhive butler I'd have less opportunities anyway!"

"We're getting off topic here. Now, I guess we'll just start fresh. Who here has actually had the talk?"

Everyone looked at one another. Sebastian spoke up. "Tanaka considering I took the liberty of educating the other servants and educate the young master, I think it goes without saying that only Bard and I have had...the talk. As was stated earlier. I do not think the young master is ready for this personally."

"I can understand your concern, but I assure you the sooner we discuss this the better. And the young master is at an age when he'll start to go through changes. It is better for him to learn this instead of something happening. Now then..Bard." he motioned to him. "Tell me what your parents told you when they discussed this with you."

Bard rubbed at his head again. "Well...I really didn't get much of a talk it was more like my father knocked on the bathroom door going "YOU OKAY THERE SON!" and I responded. "I'LL...I'LL BE RIGHT OUT!" while trying to be quick." he did with abit of voice acting. He was blushing profusely as he stated this. Totally embarrassed. Maylene blushed. Finni looked shocked. Ciel looked grossed out. And Sebastian was attempting to not laugh.

"Sebastian since you find this so amusing why don't you enlighten us on what your parents told you." Tanaka put his hands together.

"Alright." he got off his seat and removed his coat, loosened his tie and grabbed a cigar from the cigar box. But he didn't light it. He changed his voice to sound abit more like his father. "Son." he started walking around. This made people snicker as they found this very amusing. Especially since it was Sebastian who was doing it. "We're going to have a very distinct talk today." he pretending to puff on the cigar. "As you know you have a penis." he stood before Bard and pointed at him with the unlit cigar. "Someday, your going to want to use it. Hopefully on a woman. Though it's okay if you use it on a man as well." he pretended to puff on the cigar some more as he walked away from Bard. "After putting it inside your selected partner, and doing a bit of rhymic movements." he waved his hand. "You will start to feel good and eventually release some of your dna. With any luck the female will become pregnant. Any questions?" he finished off. Putting the cigar back and fixing his tie. "This was my talk from my father."

"Wow...is it me or was your dad encouraging you to have sex?" Bard asked. "Then again, you do seem like the type who'd get more encouraged than deterred."

Tanaka looked like he was going to have a heart attack. "What did your mother say?" he asked abit loudly. Still not over the shock of Sebastian's little performance.

"Sebastian." he changed his voice to be more female like. "If she's not a purebreed, or it's a male. Don't bring them home. I already don't like them. And if she's ugly. Put a paper bag over her face before letting her in the house."

It was Ciel's turn to start cracking up. He could completely picture Sebastian's mother doing that. Though in his mind she was a black haired human with human features. For some reason he pictured his father having a beard. However he looked at it it was priceless.

"Hmmm is this really so important Tanaka?" Finni asked innocently.

Tanaka attempted to get his beating heart to slow down. It was pounding in his chest. "Yes...yes this is very important. Though now I fear what could happen."

"Ohh..." Ciel awed.

"If I can say..." Maylene started, still blushing profusely. "I...I think...Tanaka would possibly get mad as well...not just Sebastian or the young master."

This caught everyones attention in a heart beat. "Why do you say that Maylene?" Sebastian asked. Even he didn't think Tanaka was capable of becoming angry. If one could explode parts of the house on a daily basis and he not get upset, he didn't think someone doing something as normal as having relationships would anger the elderly man.

She started tapping her fingers nervously. "In my experience...if you do something bad, elder people who are even nice will get mad." she looked to the floor.

Everyone just started at her wide eyed for a moment.

"Maylene I might get upset, but I don't get mad." Tanaka stated as he attempted to remain calm. Her statement seemed to have pinched a nerve in him though. Because everyone else was suprised at how much effort he was making to not speak in an angered tone. A first for everyone. Even Ciel had never seen him so much as raise his voice before. Though it was slight, they could tell his voice had be raised. "I may become angry that procautions were not taken in such a situation. But I don't get mad. Dogs become mad." he added.

Making every very slowly huddle together with wide eyes. Their expressions were clearly staying "Don't hurt me." Even Sebastian was stunned at the situation as he pulled his master closer to himself. He made a mental note that if Tanaka was provoked he could be rather frightening.

"Now if you'd all signed this we can be on our merry way." Tanaka pulled out a piece of paper from his coat. It was a paper stating that none of them would have underaged relations. Which was odd because the legal age was 13. But the paper stated 40.

"Are...are you serious?" Bard asked finding the courage to speak.

"Ah your right I wrote down the wrong age." he made a swipe on the paper and wrote something. The 40 was crossed out and now it said 50.

"Tanaka!" he whined at the added 10 years. He was starting to think the elder man could be more heartless than Sebastian.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After many more hours of discussion. And the ridiciulous contract torn and tossed in the fire. It finally came down to the point that Tanaka was more than willing to assist them with any questions or worries they may have on the subject. But when Bard went as far as asking if the elder man would be willing to purchase protection for them. Tanaka had actually punched him over his head. Making Sebastian smile with glee.

"Uhhh." Ciel laid in his bed as Sebastian got his night clothes. "What a long day. I never want that discussion again."

"I thought it was quite amusing young master. I've never seen Tanaka express his thoughts so much before." he pulled out a clean night shirt for Ciel.

"Did your parents seriously say that to you? Or are you just pulling everyone's leg?" he changed the subject a little.

"Indeed they did young master. My parents were very supportive of me mating." he smiled.

"How old were you?"

"Hmmmmm" he thought for a moment. "I believe this was a week after my birth if i'm not mistaken."

"A WEEK AFTER YOU WERE BORN?" his eyes bulged out of his head.

"Well young master 6 days is far too young for demons to learn about sex." he smiled cutely.

"I don't even want to think about this anymore." he pulled the covers over himself. Not even waiting for Sebastian to dress him. "I'm going to sleep."

"Yes my lord." he simply put the night shirt on the chair and prepared to leave.

Ciel shot back up in his bed in a sitting position. "A week! Are you serious!"

Sebastian stopped in his tracks as he started laughing. His master's reaction was just too hilarious. Luckily he didn't drop the candle holder.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Liathano: Well the tos is mainly there for writers. But as a basic thing for rules. If your not gonna write anything. The rules are pretty much don't be rude, threaten, or spam on people's reviews. Which pretty much go without saying. So you can pretty much make an account and use it to review peoples works. If you do make an account and have questions. Feel free to ask me I don't mind._

_To the story: Yes...I can see this happening...alot. XD It took me abit to think on Tanaka's reactions a little. But after abit I was like...ya know what. Tanaka could very well have typical parental reactions. Yeah he's pretty easy going. But at the same time I still do think he cares for the others as family. (As I wrote in Prolonged Dreams =3) So I really can see him just getting ever so slightly upset about it._

_The talk is a subject that I seriously could of wrote about for an earlier chapter. But I wanted to think on it abit more. I mean Tanaka is overall a character who's personality is right on his sleeve. But to me at the same time I like to think that he's got thoughts and feelings about the others that he doesn't express. And as much as I doubt he would. I do think in some situations he may pull rank on Sebastian. But they'd be extremely rare. And he'd have a legitimate reason for it. _

_Hidden Secrets was also updated in case anyone missed it. I'm surprised at how many people post now X.x_

_Or you can get a laugh and read American Past Time or what not. XD Okay I'll shut up now._

_Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Or atleast got a laugh from it =3. I have a new fic i'm working on out as well. Enjoy! _


	19. THIS MEANS WAR!

Something New 19

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Rubberbands xD Nuff said._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was mixing the batter for the days breakfast. He was going to make some pancakes with blueberries. He was even going to make a fresh cream to go on top of it.

Bard was bringing in the days news paper and mail. Setting it on top the the counter. He smiled as he picked up the paper. "Hey a rubberband." he pulled it off the news paper. "I guess even England is gonna use them to tie the news papers." he started stretching it.

"I guess, so." Sebastian started pouring some batter in a pan. Tossing in some fresh blueberries. "Get me a plate to put the pancakes on." he ordered as he flipped the one in the pan over so the other side could cook. Bard did as he was told and handed the butler the plate.

"Hmmmm." he took a wiff of it's scent. "It smells soooooo good. Can I have bananas in mine?" he asked. Practically drooling on the butler's shoulder.

"Only if you stop hovering over him." he shoved the chef away. He couldn't trust him to not get his drool over the food.

"Yay!" he grabbed a fresh banana and started to peel it. He still had the rubberband in his hand and looked at it for a brief moment before looking at the butlers back. He got a huge grin on his face soon after.

Sebastian was nearly done with the blueberry pancakes, "Bard if you want bananas in your give me a...OOWWW!" he shouted. Rubbing at his back where he'd been hit. "Bard! What did you do that for?" he eyed the rubberband on the floor.

Bard giggled as he picked it up. "It was just in good fun."

"Do it again and i'm going to wack you with this pan." he threatened.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Needless to say Sebastian was not very happy. Bard took every moment he possibly could to shoot Sebastian with the rubberband. So he decided to get his own little revenge. He was holding a needle between his fingers. Sneaking behind the chef who was helping Finni clean up the fallen leaves from the yard. He prepared himself. And with a mighty jab.

"OOOOWWWW!" Bard jumped and rubbed at his rear. "Sebastian that hurt!"

"Now you know how I feel!" he shouted back. Giggling as he watched the chef continue to whine.

"You realize, this means war." Bard stated.

"Fine by me." He put a hand to his hip. "Bring it on."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The rules were set. Only rubberbands could be used for the onslaught of attacks, as it would keep blood from getting on the carpet. And they had until bed time to get a good score. The current score was Sebastian 30, Bard 33. And Bard was only in the lead because he'd get at the butler when his master called him. Catching him momentarily off guard as he was attempting to keep his master from knowing of their childish war.

He rubbed at his rear as the latest attack he'd recieved from the chef had hit him on the mark just as he'd opened the door to his masters office. "You called young master?"

"Yes, granny has stated that she will be having a guest over. Elizabeth shall also be coming."

"Yes my lord."

"Granny has also requested that you make squash soup."

"I see, very well then young master. Shall I make a proper dessert to accompany it? Or do you have a specific request?"

"Whatever is fine."

"I understand." he bowed.

"By the way, is there any reason you were rubbing your butt earlier?" Ciel smirked.

"No real reason. I think a bug bit me is all." he replied with a sweat.

"I see." Ciel picked up a paper from his desk to hide his smile. "You may go."

He turned on his heel after bowing once more and leaving the office. Closing the door behind him. "Damn him." he cursed lowly. He was going to have to up his game to win this. He'd never live it down if the other demons or his master found out he'd lost to a human named Bard.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He was ready, his rubberbands set on his hands like 2 pistols to a cowboy. By his calculations, he had approximately 2 minutes to shoot Bard with them before the guests arrived. He creeped about like a ninja, sniffing the human out so he wouldn't get caught. Smiling as he saw the man heading towards the bathroom. Just as he was about the close the door he attacked.

"Yeowch!" came a pained cry from the man.

"Score!" he cheered himself. Both rubberbands had hit him on the back of his head. He was now at 32, only one away from being tied with the human. He heard the carriages coming to a halt at the door. So his victory was short lived as he had to open the door. "Greetings lady Elizabeth. Was your trip well?" he asked pleasantly.

"Oh Sebastian." she smiled in her own typical way. "It was good. Where's Ciel?" she soon whined.

"In his office." he replied.

"CIIIEEELLLL!" she shouted for him as she ran up the stairs in a hurry.

Within moments he heard his master shouting, and being hugged by his fiance. And comments on how his outfit wasn't cute at all and such. "Ah sir, you must be the guest granny has called on." he greeted the second arrival. He was an elderly man, requiring the use of a cane to walk, hunched over as if his back hurt.

"Yes. Could you be a good lad and help me with my coat? These old bones aren't what they used to be."

"Certainly." he assisted the man with the removal of his coat and hat. "Granny is currently in the foyer. Right this way please."

"Such a good lad. I see she's got you calling her granny." he laughed.

"Indeed. She scolds me if I don't call her as such."

"That's her alright. She was quite the vixen in her younger days you know. And very good at her job."

"Job?" he turned to the man as he tried to catch up to Sebastian.

"She was a detective in her youth. You may have heard of her nickname. The mysterious rose."

"The mysterious rose? How fitting of her." he thought on it for a moment. He had never heard of anything on grannys past. To hear such a new bit of information certainly enlightened him on his master's family history a little.

"Indeed."

"Here we are sir." he opened the door. "Granny your guest has arrived." he allowed the man in.

"Edward!" she said cheerily.

"Mysterious rose. You old fox you. It's been ages since i've last seen you. You look younger each time I see you." they hugged.

"Oh my no one has called me that in ages." she laughed. "Have you been well?"

"Ahhh my bones are catching up with my age I fear."

"Aww you poor dear. But my darling blackie can make a delightful tea to help your old bones."

"Blackie?" he raised a brow. Sebastian raised a hand in embarassment. The man soon laughed. "Ahh you never cease to amaze me. Nicknaming the help to your own whim."

"Though he maybe a butler, he's my little blackie." she pinched Sebastian's cheek. He rubbed at his face when she finished. Making the man laugh some more.

"I shall go and make your tea granny. I'll bring some nice snacks as well." he bowed.

"Oh please make us your delicious black tea."

"As you wish granny." he left. "Ahhh, to be called such a name in front of a guest. How embarassing." he put a hand to his head. This however left him unattentive as suddenly he was shot with a rubberband. "Yeow!" he shouted as it hit him in his hand. "Damn you Bard!" he cursed at him.

"That's what you get for attacking me when I was gonna use the bathroom!" he shouted with glee. Running down the hall in haste to avoid any attacks from the demon.

He growled as he tried to think of a plan. Bard was catching him off guard too often. It was perhaps his own fault. He never saw the man as a threat, and now he was in the habit of thinking nothing of him. He marked the current score. Himself 32, Bard 34.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was now getting out of hand. The onslaught of rubberband attacks were happening at every possible open moment. When he was cutting the squash. When the vegetables were getting cleaned for the salad. And even when tea was being served. Sebastian was mixing the contents of the bowl hastily to make a cake for dessert. He was orginally going to make a soufle, but with all he chaos in the kitchen he knew he'd ruin it within an instant. He sensed the chef behind him. With lighting speed he turned with his rubberband read and shot him in the head.

"Gahh!" Bard clutched his forehead. "Awww damn, you got me good that time. But you're going down." he hissed in pain.

"Keep it coming. I'm ready." he responded. Blowing at his fingers like they were pistols. Sebastian and Bard had taken the whole thing into a large game play. Even his master now saw that they were both simply having far too much fun for a work day. Fortunately for them, their master hadn't discovered what it was they were up to. But they were sure their master would find out sooner or later. But it didn't matter to them. Until the clock hit 10 pm, this war was going to go on. He was sure his master would be surprised at how childish he was being however. It was like him and Bard had a strange bond going on with everything that'd happened in the past. And as much as the demon hated to admit it. This game that Bard had started was invigorating him and keeping him on his toes. He was loving it. Even his master had never been so sneaky as to get at him when he was busy doing his work.

"Yeah, yeah, just try not to hit me in the eye. You almost blinded me with that other attack." he went back to his work of chopping up vegetables for the salad.

"I could say the same to you, considering you nearly got me in the eye as well." he rubbed at his upper cheek. Bard had gotten a hit on his face when he was walking out of the office after the discussion with his master earlier that day.

"Hey I said I was sorry alright! I miscalculated." He put down the knife. "Gyayaah!" he shouted as another rubberband was shot at his fingers.

"You weren't paying attention." he smiled happily as Bard sucked on his fingers.

"Damn, that one snapped too. Awww." he swung his hand about. The broken rubberband on the floor.

"Opps, I guess I snapped it alittle to hard." he muttered to himself. He would never tell Bard he's purposefully done it in a way so it would snap on contact. Not that he would tell anyone that.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was time for a temporary truce. As Sebastian was not going to tolerate such childish behavior during dinner. It was their duty as servants to provide only the best service.

"Oh my your dear blackie makes the most delicious food I have ever tasted. And that cake. It was to die for." Edward rubbed at his belly. "I couldn't eat another bite."

"Ahh Sebastian that cake was soo good." Elizabeth chimed in. "It was so fresh!"

"Thank you. I made it with only the freshest ingredients that I was able to aquire." he bowed with a smile. But he caught abit of movement in the corner of his eye. He raised a brow for a moment.

"It was alright." Ciel stated as he dabbed at his lips with his napkin. "Sebastian more tea." he ordered.

"Yes my lord." he took the cup. Filling it with tea. He wasn't sure, but he could swear he'd just saw Finni a moment ago. "More tea granny?" he asked her.

"Certainly please." she held out her cup. But dropped it on him. "Oh my! I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright." he removed his jacket. "It's nothing a little washing won't fix." he patted at the wetspot with a towel. "If you'll excuse me I shall go and clean it immediatel...OWWW!" he dropped his jacket and rubbed at his upper chest.

"What the hell? Sebastian what's going on?" Ciel shouted.

"Oowww. Damn you Bard! You got me in the nipples owwww!" he laughed in pain. He saw Bard and Finni at the door to the dining room. Whether or not the attack was intended to aim for that particular area at the same time he didn't know. But he knew one thing. Serious butler time was over.

Bard was cracking up as he saw the demon rub at his chest. But soon he was running for his life as the butler was running after him with rubberband ready hands.

"Get back here so I can attack you!" Sebastian shouted in chase. "That means you too Finni!" He started shooting rubberbands at such a speed that it was insane.

"OW OW OW OW OW OWWO YEOWCH! OW OW OW!" was all that Finni and Bard uttered as they couldn't do a counter attack at Sebastian's insane speed attack. Even when they turned a corner it was only moments before they were being hit with more rubberbands.

"SEBASTIAN! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!" Ciel was shouting as soon as they passed him. "OW!" he shouted as soon as he himself had been hit in the forehead with a stray rubberband. But this didn't seem to stop the all out attack the demon was doing.

"Ciel! Don't die!" Elizabeth hugged him in a deathgrip. Making him unable to breathe properly.

"Oh my the games children make these days." Edward stated with a smile.

"Indeed." Granny giggled. "Didn't I tell you they were very rambuncious?"

"You did, you did." he laughed. "I just didn't think they'd go as far as to do it over dinner."

"Oh they're just being youthful. By tomorrow they'll be playing a new game i'm sure."

"Your little blackie seems to be winning." he watched as Sebastian jumped down the flight of stairs to continue in his attack.

"I think anyone who'd been shot in the chest at the same time by two different people would do the same. But it was rather interesting to see to say the least." she watched as Ciel was regaining his breath.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"I give! I give! You win! You win!" Bard stated as he and Finni huddled next to one another in a corner. "I surrender!"

Sebastian had his hands ready with rubberbands as if they were pistols. He had a demonic smirk of glee on his face as he was thrilled by the chase and attack he'd been doing for the past twenty minutes. It was like a sugar rush, with adreline added on. He heart was pounding in his chest in complete excitement. "Too late!" he shot more rubber bands at them. Making them scream in pain and agony.

"GYYYAAAA! MY GROIN!" Bard shouted as he was hit in his crotch.

"Owww!" Finni cried. "I was only doing what he told me too!" he pointed at Bard.

"You joined the enemy! Now you will pay!" he shouted as he shot the last of his rubberbands at them. This was the only reason that his attacks came to an end. The final score was Bard 72, Finnian 1, and Sebastian 3756. One hitting his master. 1354 hitting Finni, and 2401 hitting Bard. Where he kept all those rubberbands no one would know. But he was truly delighted at the fun he'd had. "Ahhh that was fun. Since you both are the losers you have the honor of picked up all the rubberbands around the house. There's a total of 4000 to be found, and I expect them all to be put in this tin." he handed Bard a large tin. "Put the broken ones off to the side if you please." he watched as they grasped the tin in fear and ran to find all the rubberbands used in his onslaught. "So saddening that the fun had to end." he pretended to pout as he smiled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"You idiot! What were you thinking having a rubberband war in the house?" Ciel held an icepack to his head.

"Bard started it." he responded. "Besides it was great exercise, as well as alot of fun." his eyes twinkled in delight. "I wanna do it again sometime."

"No you will not! I forbid rubberband wars in the house!"

"Yes my lord." he smiled. His master was forbiding the rubberband wars from being in the house. He never said anything about outside. So in his mind he was planning another war. Perhaps in the spring or fall when it'd be the easiest to find the rubberbands. Until all were broken he intended to redo the war. Then at which time he'd order more rubberbands for a second war.

The lesson to be learned from the endevor. Was when someone gets a cheap shot in when your back is turned. Get revenge.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Ahh I don't know about you guys but rubberband wars can be fun...and painful XD. Very... very...very painful. But..it's cheaper and less messy to do than paintballing. xD But very tiring on the fingers. Which is the only downside. But otherwise. Alot of fun if you have friends that are willing to take abit of pain. =3 I recommend colored rubberbands that don't match your outdoors or the stuff in your house to find them easy. And people thought you couldn't have fun with a rubberband XD. Its amazing how one can entertain themselves through sheer boredom. LOL!_

_Well on a side note. I'ma just ask if others can read the 4th chapter of Kigeki: Aftermath if they can. And review or critique it. I only got one review. Which I do greatly appreciate. But it doesn't tell me much on what others think. Yeah i'm probably being a pain and annoying people by continually asking. But if you guys need to know I won't bite your heads off for telling me anything on any of my fics or correcting my mistakes. I'm not one of those authors who can't take critique well. I mean if you just chew my head off just cause you didn't like it in general it might upset me. But honestly valid critique doesn't bug me. So don't worry, if that is your worry. Telling me where I need to improve won't have me slicing down your throat. Which I know is a big problem on this site. That other authors jump down your throat over you being nice and honest over their stories. I honestly don't understand why people do this. I don't think it's a crime for the readers to be honest. As long as it's not intended to hurt the writers feelings of course, and i'm not talking about a harsh review. I'm talking about like actual attacks on the writer ya know? So if you guys can please atleast give me 2 more reviews on it i'd greatly appreciate it._

_Of course for this story as well, Reviews and Critique is appreciated._

_I'd also like to thank Kawaii Hime Sama again for reading my past works and giving input. I really appreciate that._

_Oh btw, chapter 50, I won't spoil, but LOL! To something that happened to Sebastian. It'll be really obvious what i'm talking about when you read it._


	20. Uuuuugggghhh

Something New 20

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian snuggled deep into his pillow contently. His master had given him the morning off so he was taking the opportunity to enjoy it with abit of relaxation time. Originally he was going to play with his favorite cat in the garden, but she'd not been there. And granny had gone to town to do some shopping. Taking the other three servants with her. Tanaka, he didn't care where he was at the moment. And his master was in his room either still sleeping or reading. He was so happy, it was a first that a temporary peace and quiet had come over the house. He was so content that he opted for a nice little nap until he'd have to work. His coat, vest, tie, and gloves were on his chair. He'd been lazy and tossed his socks beside it after removing his shoes. And unbuttoned his shirt a little so he'd be alittle more comfortable. His mind filled with dreams. Dreams of getting to eat his master's soul. Playing with the cat in the garden. Even going as far as having a tea party with her.

The window of his room was open to allow the refreshing air in. He breathed softly as he'd completely fallen asleep. He didn't know how much time had passed, nor did he care. Granny had come into the room. His clock stating 10:30 am. She silently picked it up for a moment and with a smile she turned off the alarm. She saw him clutching his pillow. Hugging it to his face as he slumbered. Opening his wardrobe she took out a spare blanket and covered him with it. Giving him a light kiss on his head before leaving.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Hours later, granny walked towards the dining room as she saw Ciel coming down in abit of rage. "What's wrong dearie?" she asked.

"That stupid butler of mine is late! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!" he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"You will do no such thing." she stated with authority. "The poor thing is exhausted. And since I have been here I have yet to see him get a day off."

"Granny...did you?" he raised a brow.

"Indeed I did. I turned off his alarm so that he may sleep some more. Honestly, to allow your most loyal servant to become so exhausted. How unbecoming." she scolded him. "You shall leave him be." she waved a finger at him. After she'd done that the door to the servants quarters swung open. Sebastian making a mad dash but stopping just a few feet near his master.

"Young master I greatly apologize, it seems my alarm didn't go off when I was taking a nap." he stated with a light sweat. Never had he'd ever made such a simple blunder. But he could swear he'd turned the alarm on.

"There is no need to apologize sweetie." Granny stated with a smile. "I turned off your alarm earlier. You just seemed so exhausted that I felt you needed some more sleep."

Sebastian gazed at her with shock, and relief. He was rather glad to find he hadn't done a human blunder as to forget to turn on his alarm. He took a sigh of relief as the previous images of him being mocked and scolded faded away. "Thanks goodness." he whispered to himself.

"See. He's simply exhausted. When was the last time you did something for your servants?" she leered at Ciel. Who sweated as she seemed to give him a happy glare.

"What do you mean granny?" he took a step back. "I do stuff for them all the time. Do you know how much I actually spend on them?" he defended himself.

"I don't mean in terms of pay. I mean in terms of gratitude."

"Me not tossing them out on the street for destroying the house on almost a daily basis isn't gratitude?" he mumbled to himself.

"I think it's time they all had a chance to be catered on." she turned to Sebastian with a smile. "Yes indeed. A party of thanks."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian looked at all the dishes in awe. Not only had granny apparently been a detective, but a fine cook as well. Everything was made to perfect. And it looked so delicious that even he wanted to eat it just to simply see if it tasted as good as it looked. There was even some fruit tarts that looked most appealing to him. The only problem was granny had also made so much that he was sure even Finni's endless stomach wouldn't be able to finish it all. Food of turkey with stuffing, yams in brown sugar, steamed vegetables, a salad, a glazed ham, chicken noodle soup, beef stew, rice, spagetti with meatballs, and more adorned the table as if it was a dinner fit for a king and his kingsmen. On a separate table was nothing but pure drinks of ale, beer, wine and liquor. He was sure that table alone would make Bard happy. He gripped the chair he was holding onto not because he was putting it somewhere. But to keep his hands busy. Granny had forbided him from helping. As such he had an itch in his hands to do something.

"Woooowww!" Elizabeth gawked at all the delicious food. "Granny cooks just like Sebastian!" she uttered in delight. She was staring at a cake that looked like it would make anyones mouth water. "I can't wait to taste it!"

"Me too." Finni drooled as he stood beside her.

"Granny as much as this is appreciated, don't you think you've made abit too much?" Ciel inquired, as he saw her place a bowl of mashed potatos on the table. "There's not that many people in the house."

"Nonsense, anything that's left we can eat tomorrow." she waved him off. "It'll save Sebastian abit of work if I do say so myself."

"I can't wait to drink the booze." Bard was staring at the table in delight as Sebastian had anticipated.

"Ahhh, this cake reminds me of the ones Sebastian makes." Maylene looked at another cake. It was rather a positive notion that it was a red velvet.

"Now then, sit, sit!" Granny ordered.

Everyone taking their assigned seats. Each plate had a card with their names on them to show who was to sit where. This made Sebastian giggle as he'd looked at the cards prior. They didn't have their real names on them. Simply the nicknames granny had given them. His stated "Blackie." which made him feel embarassed over it. But his nickname wasn't nearly as embarassing as the others. Bard sat next to him on his right, his nickname was "Bomber." The name suited him perfectly. Finni who sat across from him was nicknamed "Mopsy." Maylene was "Flopsy", while Tanaka was "Cottontail" due to his grey hair. Them being nicknamed after the nursery ryhme was simply hilarious to him. For a moment he thought his master was going to be nicknamed peter. But it proved to be not as such. Ciel's nickname was, to his utter delight of laughter, was "Baby Blue." Elizabeth's nickname was hardly amusing however, hers was "Giggles." But he supposed it suited her. Though he thought whiney suited her far more better. He blinked in surprise as a piece of steak was placed on his empty plate. "Granny?" he looked at her waringly.

"Don't worry, i'm just serving you abit of food. You just sit there and relax. Have a good time." she slapped a portion of mashed potatos on his plate. Everyone else was already filling their plates with food with the exception of his master. "Go on, try it, i'm sure you'll like it." she smiled.

Picking up his fork and knife he cut a small piece of his steak and put it in his mouth. Chewing slowly so he could get the taste. His tastebuds were assaulted with wonderful flavor. He swallowed and replied. "It's delicious granny."

She poured him abit of wine and like always had a smile on her face. "I'm glad you like it." she then looked at everyone. "Please be sure to enjoy yourselves."

Everyone was simply pleased and indulged in the delicious meal.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Ahhhh i'm so full, I don't think I could eat another bite." Finni patted his stomach.

Sebastian took a bite of a fruit tart, and moaned. "Oh my god, Finni you've got to try this." he chewed. Sebastian had lightened up greatly during the festivities. As he was abit tipsy from all the alcohol he'd consumed. This shocked Ciel as he'd never seen his butler look so intune with the other servants before. "It's so delicious." he took a bigger bite.

Finni wasted no time in grabbing one and taking a bite as well.

"Sebastian don't you think you've had enough?" Ciel grumbled. Out of everyone he was the only one who wasn't near tipsy or drunk as he drank everything slowly.

"Oh lighten up young master." Bard stated just as he took a gulp of his beer. "This is the first time i've see Sebastian pull that stick out of his ass. It's great!" he replied as his face was red. Showing he was drunk. He laughed soon after as he threw an arm over Sebastian's shoulders. "Duuuuuuuuddddddeeeee." he started. "You should like...totally show us how fun you can be."

"No, i'm eatting." he responded with his mouth full of fruit tart. "Fruit tart is high priority." he covered his mouth this his free hand to keep others from seeing the food in his mouth. He giggled as if he'd stated the most hilarious joke on the planet. This showed Ciel how far gone his butler was in the festivities. "Nuuu." he pulled his partially eatten tart away from Bard. He'd taken a bite while the butler was giggling. "My tart."

Bard swallowed the piece he'd managed to get before it'd been pulled away. "Awww come on, but another bite." he tried to take a second bite.

Sebastian shifted his body to protect his tart. "Noooo." he giggled. And proceeded to take another bite, but Bard took the opportunity to push it at his mouth, making him squeal, and drop what was left of the tart to table. Some of the fruit and glaze got on his face. But he was apparently still having fun as he just used his fingers to wipe as his face and lick them clean of the now destroyed dessert.

"Have this brandy." Bard offered a glass. "It's delicious." he took a swig of his beer. Sebastian took a sip of his drink as Ciel started to look even more aggitated. But blinked in surprise as music with an upbeat started to play.

"Oooohhh. Ciieeelll we should dannnccee!" Elizabeth slurred slightly as she was drunk. He could only imagine the rage his aunt would feel if she'd seen her daughter like this. They started to dance awkwardly as Elizabeth couldn't seem to keep her legs from wobbling. Thus making Ciel's poor dancing skills even worse.

"We should totally dance." Sebastian suddenly stated at Maylene.

"Okay!" she said cheerily as her face was red due to being drunk. If she'd been sober she probably would of passed out from shock that he'd even asked in the first place. Sebastian removed his butlers coat and took her to the dance floor and they danced rather well considering both were obviously having a hard time standing up straight.

"Oh my." Tanaka stated. He took was red in the face. "Now that is something you don't see everyday."

"Indeed." Granny stated. Like Ciel she wasn't drunk, but she was slightly tipsy. "But they look so cute."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Everything had calmed down. The leftover food had put away to eat later. Everyone had a pretty good time. Sebastian was even at the point where he was completely drunk as he'd done a game of shots with Bard with vodka. He was doing his best to walk straight while trying to keep Maylene from falling. "Your a good dancer. I never knew." he stated in his drunken state.

"I love to dance. There's just never time." she wobbled.

"Ahhhh Granny I wish to be with you!" Bard shouted as he was the one who was the drunkest of them all. He'd been so drunk that he'd dance with granny, and it appeared as though he was still raring for the party to continue. "Let's dance some more!" he shouted.

"Granny I shall help you to your room." Tanaka pulled her away from Bard. He'd apparently sobered up alittle as he'd drank some water after a while.

"Noooo I want to dance! And sing!" he whined.

"Bard it's time for bed." Finni giggled as he did his best to get the chef to their shared room.

"Your sweaty." Maylene stated at Sebastian.

"You too." he responded with a giggle. "Totally sweaty...sweat...sweat..." he laughed some more. "Sweat is a funny word. It's like sweet, but with in a in it."

"Sweat, sweet, sweat, sweet." she chanted. Ciel was following behind them to ensure they didn't do anything they weren't supposed to do. But he did admit he had a pretty okay time after he'd lightened up abit. But it was strange to be the designated leader to ensure nothing got too out of hand. He supposed it was how Sebastian saw things when he was the one to stay sober.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian groaned as he was handed another dish to dry. Even though the leftovers had been put away. After the party. The dining room had been in shambles with dirty dishes all over and even crumbs on the table cloth and floor. "I don't need this right now." he groaned as he dried the plate. And was putting it on the counter, but smacked Bard with in instead.

"Ow."

"Oh.." he cringed. "Sorry...sorry." he giggled. "Sorry."

"Pay attention, your supposed to be most responsible."

"I can't wash another one of these." Maylene groaned at the pots she was cleaning. Granny had apparently used every dish in the house for their meal.

Ciel was watching them in utter delight. He saw that they all had hangovers, and it was an interesting sight to see. Especially Sebastian. He jolted when Finni dropped a pot to the floor.

"Becareful with that one." Sebastian started. "You break it, you bought it." he giggled, as he dried another plate.

Ciel could only stare in amazement that Sebastian hadn't yelled at him. Usually he got greatly upset if anything had been dropped. But he supposed it was due to the hangover that caused him to lessen on his temper. "Sebastian, hurry up and do the dishes."

"Yes young master." he giggled.

"I'm serious." he started to get aggitated. "I would like to eat sometime today."

"Okay." he started to laugh some more. Making the others laugh as well.

"Sebastian." he growled at the demon.

"Ooooo he's the angry." he started to crack up. "He needs the happy drink."

Everyone went silent for a moment as they stared at the butler who was currently drying the same plate he'd been drying for the past 3 minutes.

"Ya know." Bard started as he put a cigarette in his mouth. "I personally like him better this way." he smirked. "He's so much more...non stiff like."

Ciel scoffed as he grabbed his butler by his wrist and started to drag him out the kitchen. "Get back to work he shouted at the others!" making them go back to washing the dishes with haste.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Hey...hey! What are you...the people...and...why?" Sebastian jumbled his words. He still had the plate from before in his hand.

"Sebastian did you drink more alcohol this morning?" Ciel asked in a demanding tone.

"Nooooooooooooooooo." he emphasized, as he looked into the plate. "Oooooo. This plate...it's...so plate like."

"Are you telling me your still partially drunk?"

Sebastian swayed a little on his feet as he looked at his master. "Yeessshhh. Demons...have extemily...extremely...low...alcohol tolermance...tolerance."

Ciel blinked as he tried to comprehend the fact that Sebastian apparently was sober enough to understand what he asked in the very least.

"I can see myself!" he said happily as he looked at his reflection in the plate. "Have I always had black hair?" he asked after a moment. Then he started pulling a lock of his hair to the front of his face to get a better look as if he needed to make sure it was really his hair.

"How long are you gonna be drunk for?" he asked to see if he'd get an answer.

"Ummm..." he swayed on his feet as he thought about the question. "How much did I drink last night?" he asked hiw own question. He started to rock back and forth.

"I don't know...probably 5 gallons worth?" he replied.

Sebastian put a hand to his belly and rubbed it. "That seems about right." he leaned his back on the wall and started to very slowly slide down into a sitting position.

"I'm not asking you to confirm how much is in your stomach! I'm asking how long your going to be drunk for!" he became angered.

"Umm...i'll be hitting tipsy in about...2 hours. Sober in about 5." he started to look sick and groaned.

"Now what?" he glared at his butler.

Sebastian didn't respond with words to his masters question. Instead he did what he thought was the most sensible way of answering. He threw up just as he turned his head to the right.

"SEBASTIAN!" he shouted as the demon had tossed up the contents of his stomach on his shoes.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Ooooww.." Sebastian cringed at every little sound. He had the biggest migrane now that he was no longer drunk. He hated hangovers. He was scolding himself for drinking so much.

"How you feeling?" Ciel asked.

"Owww...young master please don't talk so loud." he rubbed at his temples. "I think i'm dying."

"First off i'm not talking loud. Second. Your not allowed to die. Third. Give me some tea. Now."

He groaned again that day. "I curse granny for making me have fun. I just want to crawl into my bed and stay there." he started pouring his master some tea.

"No one told you to drink excessively."

"I know. Don't you feel ashamed now?" he bluntly stated as he placed the cup infront of his master.

"What?" he look stunned. "Why should I feel ashamed?"

"As my master you should of stopped me. Because you didn't I got drunk and sick." he started digging in the medicine box. "And where's the aspirin!" he tossed the box across the room.

"Last I checked you were supposed to be the most responsible. So take responsiblity for your own actions. And as for the aspirin. There isn't any. We're all out."

"Ggguuhhh..." Sebastian leaned against the wall. "There's never anything I want in this house." he grumbled. He was rather cranky since he still had to do his duties after getting perhaps at most 2 hours of rest. So as a result he was taking his crankiness out on everyone in the house.

"Like hell there isn't." Ciel responded as he sipped his tea. "If that was true you wouldn't be here."

"I meant item wise." he grumbled.

"Well if you want some aspirin go to the store."

"I did, they were out." he rubbed at his head. "Today must of been, deny Sebastian aspirin day. Litterally all the stores had none."

"What a shame. Well now you have a lesson that you've learned."

"When granny wants to throw a party don't do it?"

"No. Next time drink less alcohol."

Sebastian sighed as he pushed himself from leaning against the wall. "Young master if you don't mind i'm going to go lay down for an hour."

"Fine. If nothing else to get you to stop bitching."

"Thank you young master." he bowed and left the room.

Ciel smiled as he grabbed his phone and dialed a number. Hearing it ring several times before anyone picked up. "Hello?" came a familiar voice from the other end.

"Lau. I simply must give you my greatest appreciation for the task you did for me." he leaned in his chair.

"Ahhh so the Earl has some gratitude for one such as me. So rare. Though I must admit it was a rather strange request. Is there any reason you needed all the available aspirin in the town?"

"No reason in particular." he snickered, as he thought about the demon having to deal with his horrible headache. "I simply needed a vast supply was all."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I'm sorry I haven't updated anything in the past like...2 weeks. . My math teacher threw this massive amount of work at us. And today I had a test, and I had to constantly work on it to get it done in time. T.T TORTURE! I have my own headache from it ._

_Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. XD I'm not sure if it was hilarious or anything, but it sure makes me giggle. xD Ciel got revenge! I hope you all atleast got some entertainment from it. Or atleast see the lesson in it. LOL._

_Reviews and critique appreciated. Hopefully I won't get bombarded with a ton of math work again and I can get out other chapters to other stuff._


	21. Aww crapeww!

Something New 21

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Cleaning the manor was always an everyday chore. Mostly due to the fact the house could get dirty rather quickly, especially in the summer months. Dust clung to the furniture and glass vases like a leech getting a meal from the person it was clinging to. But that was simpler than most of his tasks. On Sundays however Sebastian's chores were different. While on Monday through Saturday he had to ensure the house was polished so clean it sparkled. Sunday was a slow day, which meant only one thing. Laundry day.

He shuddered as he hated it so much. But it had to get done, or no one would have clean clothes. Even if it was his day off he did the laundry on sunday religiously. Picking up his laundry basket, he started walking towards the laundry room in preparation to complete his task. He always took his laundry basket down to the laundry room last. And ensured the other servants knew to take their own to the room as well. Each person had their own basket which was placed in a specific spot so's not to confuse things. Not that it mattered much. But he was very particular about his laundry. Everything was color coordinated. Finni and Bards laundry was together due to being lightly colored or white. They wore white socks as part of their uniform, so any pair of white socks belonged to them since they shared. Maylene's was obvious of course. While he and Tanaka were given black socks for their uniform. But he didn't share. He didn't like the idea of sharing socks, not that it had anything to do with Tanaka. He was just picky that way. He couldn't understand how Finni and Bard could share even as much as their briefs. He shuddered again. The other servants sharing their clothes was the least of his problems.

He got to the door and prepared himself. Taking deep breaths before stepping in. He gagged and dropped his laundry basket instantly. The scent of dirty laundry overwhelming his nose. He ran out of the room for a moment and took a few breaths again. This was why he hated laundry day. He couldn't understand how people could get their clothes to smell so horribly. Strangely the servants were actually pretty good at getting baths everyday. To him it just didn't add up. Sighing he dug into his pocket for his handkerchief and tied it over his mouth and nose.

"Another Sunday of horrible smells." he stated aloud as he walked back in and picked up his dropped basket. He made a mental note to shove some poppuri in the dirty laundry to see if it'd make it smell better.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel smirked as he sat in his bed in his pajamas. He loved laundry day though he didn't do any of it. To see Sebastian's expressions each time was glorious to him. Though he personally didn't think they laundry smelt that horrible. Except maybe on a few occastions. But those were rare. Putting his newspaper down on his bed, he climbed out of bed and headed towards his destination. He loved to watch the demon do the laundry and wanted to see what form of expressions the demon would make this week. Sunday was also the day Sebastian didn't dress Ciel unless something important was going on. But otherwise he'd be dressed after the laundry was fresh and clean.

As he got closer to the his grin just got bigger and bigger. Soon he was at the door. And he was simply beaming with a smile. Sebastian had more than likely only gotten there a few minutes before. Opening the door he saw the demon sorting the laundry by color, stains, and a pile he deemed was just better to burn it than to salvage it. He smiled as he saw that pile mostly consisted of Finni and Bard's stuff. Holely white socks and underwear with a plain shirt or two.

"Honestly how do they ruin so many so quickly?" Sebastian complained as he tossed another white sock into the burn pile. "It's like every month they need new underwear and socks." he muttered as he inspected a shirt.

Ciel took a seat in a chair as he watched. This was probably the most casual he could ever see the demon. Sebastian was in nothing but a pair of his butler slacks, and shirt. Sitting crosslegged on the floor as he sorted through it all. He wondered if the demon was just comfortable in his uniform or if it was all he had. He never looked at the demon's wardrobe before, but he was rather sure Sebastian didn't have much else. "Having fun?" he teased.

Sebastian scoffed at his master as he started looking at Maylene's apron to inspect it. "Every month we get them new socks and underwear. And by the end of the month Finni and Bard always need new ones. Do they put them with moths to eat?"

"I dunno. But I would think the smell of their laundry would kill the moths." he grinned.

"Possibly. I'm surprised the whole house doesn't stink of their laundry. I can only imagine if we did the laundry once every month instead of per week."

Ciel started swinging his legs as he had his hands in front of him to hold the front of the chair. "I don't think anyone of us has enough laundry for a month."

"Have you seen your wardrobe young master? You have enough for 3 months. Though I will admit soon we shall have to go through them and remove the clothes that no longer fit." he tossed the apron in the white pile.

"I would think as a demon the moment I blink the laundry would of been done."

"Well young master, i'm very particular about the laundry. One cannot simply toss everything in the wash and be done with it. There's color sorting, certain stains that need presoaking. Darker colors that have to be washed separately. Some can only be washed by hand as well."

"Even so your a demon. You should have this done in under five minutes." he grinned. "Or perhaps you just can't."

"I could if I wanted to young master. But since it's a slow day i'm going to take my time. If the young master does not like it he can simply go do some work." he stated with annoyance. He hated it when his master watched him do the laundry. He knew his master was only stating a fact for his own amusement. But it still annoyed him greatly.

"Se...Sebastian..." Maylene gripped the door frame as she looked that butler sitting on the floor. Seeing him sit so casually made her blush and wish she was the pile of laundry.

"What is it?" he tossed her maid uniform to the dark colors pile.

"Umm...I...could you..." she was clearly embarassed. "I..had abit of an accident."

Sebastian visibly sighed as his head fell forward. "What's broken?" he didn't need to deal with this at the moment. The laundry needed to be sorted.

"Not that...it's just..." she slowly walked forward and held out her fists to him. Making him look up at her and blink at her in confusion. Her hands were completely trembling.

"Well what is it?" he shouted. He hated that she was standing there instead of telling him.

"Pa...pan.." she shook and blushed even more. "My favorite...pan...panties..." she squeeked. "Per...per...i...oodd.." she stuttered. Opening her hands to reveal a handkerchief with held the item forementioned.

Sebastian's mouth was hanging open in complete shock. Never had he been requested to wash a woman's garments when her cycle had stained them. Not even his mother had him do that. This was also the first time in all the time he'd known Maylene, that'd she'd every had such an accident. "Uhh...I...o...kay?" he slowly pick up the handkerchief and watched her run off in complete embarassment.

Ciel had watched her run off as red as a tomato as well. "What's with her?" he looked back at the demon who was clearly blushing himself. But it was light. "On second thought, what's with you?" he smirked. He couldn't imagine Sebastian being embarassed over a pair of panties, so to see it was just beautiful in his eyes.

Sebastian dropped the item and put his face in his hands. "How embarassing!" he shouted. He wanted to curl up into a ball and die. He was used to cleaning Maylene's panties weekly, but this was different. This was her panties with her monthy lady markings. "Ahh!" he jumped when he remembered the item was still in front of him and tossed it into a nearby empty bucket. Getting up to grab a bottle and pouring it in the bucket with some water. As soon as he was done he backed away like it was possed and kept eyeing as if some sort of monster would pop out.

Ciel was probably the happiest child on the planet right then. He got to see his perfect demon butler freak out over a pair of woman's panties. Was priceless. "What's the big deal they are just panties."

"Young master they are not just panties. They are panties with Maylene's period stains on them." he glared at his master.

"So?"

"Young master don't play ignorant. You know very well what a period is."

"Yes, but I don't see why it's an issue with her panties." he stated bluntly.

"A man, be it demon or human should never have to see a woman's period panties. It's just not right!" He tossed a dirty towel into the whites pile. "It's disgusting! That's on par with Finni's crap stain briefs!"

"Finni has crap stains on his briefs?" he raised a brow.

"You know nothing of the horrors of the Phantomhive manor's laundry. I've seen things that could give you nightmares." he tossed a final pair of his pants into the darks pile and got up once more.

"I'm in here with you every week. How can I not see it?"

"Indeed you are in here ever week on Sunday, but you fail to realize that throughout the week some items are soaking to make it easier for things to wash. Sunday is just the day where the main washing happens." he started tossing the darks into the washing machine. Adding abit of soap before closing the lid. Picking up the burn pile he put them in a basket and started walking towards the incinerator outside.

"Apparently, I never knew Finni pooped his briefs."

"Indeed he needs another lesson on wiping after using the toilet. But that's actually better than Bard's sweaty socks."

Ciel laughed as he thought about that one. "Maybe we should sell them to the Royal Army to use as weapons." He remembered the first time his nose was assaulted with Bard's dirty sock smell. It was horrible. After that he made Bard put scented food powder in shoes which eased the smell. But only by so much.

Sebastian actually laughed abit for that one. "It might be considered treason if you attempted young master." he tossed the clothes into the incinerator and closed the door. Ciel didn't seem to care that he was only in his pajamas outside. Just watching as the butler turn it on and picked up the basket to walk back into the house. Once back in the laundry room he looked back at the bucket that held Maylene's panties.

"You know you have to get them done. The washing machine is being used. Time for hand washing." Ciel smirked evilly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was scrubbing at a stain on Bard's chef jacket nodding in satisfaction when it was clean once more. Standing up he hung it up on the line that was indoors. Wiping at the sweat on his brow with his arm. "Ahh."

"Don't forget you still have that to wash." Ciel smirked with glee. It was the final piece of laundry that needed to be washed. Everything else was washed and drying.

Sebastian looked at the bucket he'd been avoiding for the past 2 hours. He could swear he saw a demonic aura coming from it. An aura that clearly stated, i'm going to destroy you. He whimpered as he grabbed at the handle and picked it up. Slowly walking over to the hand washing area, he poured the contents in like it was a regular bucket of water and watched as the item floated up the surface. Silent was consuming the room as the minutes ticked by. "Young master you wash it." he stated after a moment. His face clearly expressed he was in thought.

"What?"

Sebastian looked at his master, "You wash it."

"What? I'm not going to wash it! I'm the master, your the servant, you wash it!"

"You wash it, I did all the other laundry. You can wash this one." he backed away from the thing.

"It's just a pair of panties, just wash them."

"Males aren't supposed to touch such types of panties." he muttered.

"Is that some kind of rule or something?" Ciel put his hands on his hips. "Fine then go burn them. Just means we have to get her a new pair anyway."

Sebastian suddenly had an image in his mind. An image of his mother and father. Back in their home. A particular day coming to mind when he was about fourteen years old.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"Darling have you seen my favorite black lace panties?" she asked pleasantly._

_"The ones that had the red stain and soaking in the bathroom sink?" his after asked as he was reading the newspaper._

_"Yes those are the ones."_

_"I threw them away." he stated bluntly._

_"You what?" her tone changed._

_"I threw them away. I know how you hate having to clean stains out so I tossed them." he stated as he sipped his drink._

_Sebastian came into the kitchen, just coming home from school. Carrying his books in his arms. "Hi mom. Hi dad. Here's the mail." he placed them on the table. _

_"Thank you." his father stated as he picked up the mail and starting going through it._

_"Baby...go to your room and do your homework." her vein was throbbing. Her fingers were twitching._

_"Ummm...okay..." he took a final look at his parents and started going towards his room completely confused. Before he even got halfway the wall to the kitchen exploded as his father's body burst through it and landed with a loud thud against the other wall. Sebastian gripped the rail as he dropped his books and looked down. "What the?"_

_"DIE!" came his mother's shout soon after. She tackled her husband and was punching and beating him up like he was some pervert on the street. She started to strangle him and shake him. "HOW DARE YOU THROW AWAY MY FAVORITE PANTIES! THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE! FAVORITE!"_

_"I'm sorry! Uhhh! I'm sorry! Gahh!" his father shouted as his wife clawed, punched and kicked him. He went down fast as she kicked him in his groin. _

_She then looked at her son who was watching in shock. "TOUCH A WOMAN'S FAVORITE PANTIES AND I'LL KILL YOU!" she pointed at him._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian trembled as the memory faded. "Sebastian?" Ciel poked at his butler. "Sebastian...SEBASTIAN!" He saw the demon jump.

"Huhh what?" he looked at his master.

"Just go burn them, we'll get her a new pair."

"ARE YOU INSANE?" he shouted. "She'll kill us! Those are her favorite panties!"

"So?"

"So? So? You never burn or throw away a woman's favorite panties...EVER. That's a deathwish!"

"Is this another one of those lessons like the tampons?" he asked.

"Yes."

"And is there a completely random lecture involved?"

"Yes."

"...I'd rather wash the panties." Ciel pushed the demon off the side to go near the basin. His hand hovered above the item, and his gut was telling him he shouldn't touch them. "Sebastian..."

"Yes young master?" he looked at his master from behind him.

"I can't do it." he whimpered as he felt like the most pathetic person on the planet.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Here you go Maylene, your favorite panties are all nice and clean." Sebastian smiled as he handed her panties that were neatly folded.

"Than...thank you Sebastian." she blushed as she took them and ran to her room. Thoughts of how amazing it was that Sebastian had touched her favorite panties and wishing he'd touched her while she was in them.

Ciel just stared as she ran down the hall. He was now dressed in his green suit while Sebastian was in his full uniform. "...So you gonna tell her you didn't wash them but took them the cleaners?"

"Nope." Sebastian smiled.

"How is it you can touch her other panties but the ones with period stains you couldn't? Your a demon I thought you liked blood and disgusting things."

"A womans cycle is very sacred young master. And to see the stain is like a sin. To wash it is even worse. It's like taking a bite of the golden apple."

"...You actually just think it's really gross don't you?" Ciel smiled as he stated that.

"Damn straight I do." he walked around his master to go to the kitchen to make lunch. "Never again will I wash that type of underwear. It's the signature of a pervert. On par with a man who keeps a pair of used women's underwear."

Ciel looked disgusted as he heard that. "Who's keeping used women's underwear?"

"Some human males do it as trophies for the women they've mated with." he smiled. "A few women do it to men too. It's like a sign of adult hood."

"That's it, i'm not growing up." Ciel started walking around the demon. "Adults are disgusting." he ran up the stairs.

"Pft your one to talk, you still can't wipe your own ass." he muttered as he went walked down the hall to the kitchen, giggling as he imagined his master's disgusted facial expression.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I swear i'm not on drugs. No really..i'm not lol. Things have gotten better for me since the beginning of the year. So i'm glad about that. I'm still working on belated x mas gifts x.X you'd think i'd be done with those by now. But my list grows more than reduces XD LOL. Only 3 scarfs and a mini hat to go. My supervisor asked for a scarf too. xD One scarf is nearly halfway done. Woot._

_School starts next week for me. So updating my fics maybe alittle more complicated, but i'll try my best. =) I can't wait for the new Kuroshitsuji ova to come out. LOL. And volume 4 of the manga is gonna get mailed out soon woot! I think i'ma cosplay as Undertaker for sure to AX 2011. So soon i'ma start working on that too. =) I hope it comes out good. Hardest thing will be finding a wig the proper length for my height, but it shouldn't be too bad._

_Anyway Reviews and critiques appreciated. =) I hope everyone is having a good month. Take care._


	22. What is this? OOOOOOOO!

Something New 22

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_This was an idea I had a while back and fetusforbrunch brought it back in my mind =P LOL. Enjoy._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He sighed contently as he hugged the cat from the garden to his chest tightly. Squishing her paw with delight. "Ahh. I wish I could keep you in the house." he practically purred.

"Now, now Sebastian, you know Ciel is allergic to cats." Granny stated as she sat on her rocker. She was knitting a scarf that was white and blue.

"An unfortunate event." he pouted as he sat on the stairs just a few feet from granny.

"You really like the kitties don't you?" she smiled.

"I do." his face became flushed as he rubbed his cheek against the cats own face. "They are the greatest in the whole world."

Granny smiled as she continued in her knitting. Simply rocking back and forth.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"CCCCCCCIIIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLLL!" Elizabeth came running into the manor and was squeezing Ciel for dear life as she found him in the hallway.

"Lii...Liizziee...can't...breathe..." he choked as his face was turning blue.

She swung him around like he was no more than a rag doll. "Your not going to believe what I saw today! It was a cat!" she stopped swinging him around and jumped up and down with glee.

"What's so special about that?" he tried to regain his balance as he swayed slightly. "Besides i'm allergic to cats. It's not like we could have one."

"But that's what makes these cats so amazing! They are hypoallergenic!" her eyes twinkled with utter delight. "And they are so cute!" she pulled out a picture. "See isn't it simply adorable?"

Ciel slowly took the flyer and looked it over, a smirk taking it's place on his face as he read the contents of the paper. "Indeed. Perhaps I should get one after all."

"Yay!" she squealed with utter delight. "When we get it we can name it fluffy!" her eyes sparkled.

"No way." He turned away from her in disgust. "We're not naming it fluffy."

"Aww but why not?" she pouted.

"Fluffy...it's so...so..." he tried to think, but one look of Elizabeth's face made him have second thoughts. She started to have tears in her eyes and was prepared to cry at any given moment. "Fine we'll name it fluffy." he gave in. "Let us go and get...Fluffy." he all but choked on the word.

"Yay!" she dragged him out the door.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was about cleaning the manor a few hours later. Sighing as he was finding random dishes in the oddest places. "Honestly the young master's snacking habits are atrocious. How many times do I have to tell him to stop stealing food?" he picked up a small dish out of a pot. "And to think for once the dishes were being reduced because of his snacking and not of Maylene's clumsiness." he opened a drawer and found a dirty teacup inside. "If he's going to sneak food the least he can do is put the dishes in the sink." he muttered some more.

"Sebastian!" came his master's call from his office. This caused Sebastian to sigh as he placed the dishes he'd found onto the cart for later washing.

Going to the office he knocked and entered. "You called young master?" he asked. Raising a brow as he saw his master had a curious smirk about on his face. He could tell his master was up to something.

"I did." his smirk grew, he couldn't wait to see the demon's face over the cat. "Elizabeth convinced me to obtain a hypoallergetic cat. And I know how you love cats."

Sebastian could swear his heart stopped beating then and there. Was it true? Had the young master's fiance convinced the young master to allow a cat in the house. His heart was jumping for joy. But his mind was stating his master was clearly up to something. "What's the catch young master?"

"No catch. Except you'll have to agree to take care of it."

"That's it?" he raised a brow.

"That's it. Just feed it, make sure to keep it clean, and so forth and so on. I'm sure you know how to take care of a cat." he waved at him. "Oh and Elizabeth has named it fluffy. So you'll have to deal with that."

"Fluffy?" he looked disgusted. "Why Fluffy?"

"She wouldn't accept any other name." he sighed.

"So take care of it...and it's name is Fluffy..." he repeated to confirm the information given to him.

"Yes."

Sebastian shuddered in anticipation at getting to see the cat that was actually allowed in the house. "Awww let me see it!" he practically squeeled.

Ciel's smirk was simply beaming. "Well here it is." he put a box on his desk. "Open it."

Sebastian's eyes grew wide at the ribbon tied box, but stepped forward and untied the bow. "Young master I cannot simply state my..." He opened the box and looked in. "...what is it?" he saw the forementioned cat in the box, it was dark grey.

"It's a cat."

Sebastian put a hand in the box and pulled out the animal by it's hind legs like it was a dead chicken. It was most certainly meowing like a cat, and scratching at him in an attempt to get him to let go. But there was one thing that was missing. "Did you shave it?" he asked in a disgusted shock type voice.

"No I didn't shave it." he coughed a laugh.

Sebastian held the cat by both it's hinds legs in each hand looking it over as the cat was obviously upset. "This cannot be a cat."

"How so?" he was giggling.

"It has no fur. Cats have fur. This is...I don't know what this is!" He held the animal away from himself at an arms length.

"It's an Egyptian Baldie Sebastian. They are born that way."

Sebastian gave him master a look the was clearly stating he wanted to know if his master was high. "Mammals...cats...are born...with fur..." he emphasised.

"It has hair. Peach fuzz." he added.

"Peach fuzz isn't fur." Sebastian countered.

"Sebastian just deal with the fact you don't know everything about cats." he leaned on his wrist. "I'm surprised you haven't tossed it out the window." he stated. Though on the inside he was disappointed at not recieving a more emotional expression from the demon. "Remember you said you'd take care of it."

"I didn't state that."

Ciel's smile was instantly gone. "What?"

"I asked for you to allow me to see it. I did not agree to take care of it." he stated in full confidence.

'CRAP!' Ciel thought in his mind as he realized his folly. He'd been so rushed to get the demon to see the cat that he failed to realize that he hadn't actually agreed to take care of the animal. "Sebastian your taking care of it!"

"No i'm not." he replied stubbornly, practically dropping the cat back into the box it'd been in.

"Yes you are! Your my butler and you will do as I say!" he pounded on his desk.

"Is that so?" he countered.

"Yes!"

Sebastian slanted his eyes as he and his master had a glaring match. It lasted for a few minutes until "GRAANNNY!" he shouted.

"You bastard!" Ciel replied as he got off his seat.

"Oh my whats with all the commotion?" Granny walked in as if she'd been nearby the whole time. She was stunned when Sebastian went up to her instantly and hugged her.

"Granny, the young master is trying to make me take care of a cat he got when I have a ton of chores already!" he whined.

"Granny! He's my butler, and as my butler it's his duty to do as I say!" he shouted.

Granny looked between the two and the cat that was peaking at everyone from the safety of it's box. She blinked a few times and smiled. "Then you both can take care of it."

"Eh?" Sebastian and Ciel looked at her confused.

"You can both take turns taking care of it. That's the simpliest way to resolve this." she gave off an aura that her word was law even though she was only smiling. "Now you two shake and make up and take care of the new kitty." she turned and left the room. "Be nice." came her final words.

Sebastian and Ciel looked at the open door as if they'd seen a ghost. Then glared at one another. "So...?" Ciel started.

"We're to both take care of it are we?" Sebastian added as he and his master looked at the cat who was peaking at them innocently.

"Apparently." Ciel stated, though he cursed himself for his folly in the matter.

"Yourtakingcareofitfirst!" Sebastian stated hastily and ran out the room.

"DAMN IT!" he shouted as he realized he'd been played.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian had shuddered as he held the cat, who was looking at him innocently, away from himself. It was now his turn to take care of it. "Your creepy." he stated to it as the cat tilted it's head in confusion. He tried to convince himself that the hairless cat was cute. But unfortunately for him that was one of the aspects he loved about cats. "Your wrinkly." he poked at the cat, who licked his finger in return. Putting the cat down he undressed and donned his bathroom so he could get a bath. "Honestly, why does it have to sleep in my room?" he grabbed his towel and shampoo as he gave the cat a final look. It curled up at the foot of his bed and purred.

Opening his door he walked out the room and headed to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet he allowed the water to run to fill the tub. Once it was filled he turned it off and was about to disrobe. "Ah! I forgot my soap." he retired the knot to his robe and went back to his room. Leaving the bathroom door open. As he left the cat peaked into the bathroom and walked in. It was able to leave the room due to Sebastian not closing his bedroom door. Walking about the bathroom the cat sniffed around as it took in the new surroundings. Jumping on the counter it looked down at the water filled tub. Reaching out with it's paw it started stroking at the water. Then jumped in and started swimming happily in the tub.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Sebastian screamed as he saw the cat swimming in his bath water.

Bard came rushing in as he was in a full panic at the screaming. "What happened?"

"That!" Sebastian pointed to the tub enraged. The cat continued to happily swim in the bath like nothing was wrong.

"It's just the cat man. You had me thinking we were under attack." he walked over and picked the cat out of the tub.

"I don't care what you all say! That's not a cat!" he fumed. "Great now I have to clean the tub before I can get my bath."

"Aww come on your over reacting. The cat is rather clean anyway."

Sebastian glared at Bard. "I refuse to bathe in naked animal water!" he threw a sponge at him. "Go and get me the cleaning supplies! And that.." he pointed to the cat. "Is sleeping in your room!"

"Fine..." he muttered something after his word and started walking out the bathroom.

"I heard that!" Sebastian shouted. "I am not a drama queen!"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Finni hugged the cat close to himself as Bard was changing for bed. "Your so cute!" he coddled it. "I'm so glad the young master found a cat that could be kept in the house."

"Yeah but Sebastian, Mr. cat lover of the century hates it. Poor thing. It seems to really like him too." he buttoned up his pajamas.

"Poor Fluffy." he petted the cat some more. "I'm sure if there was something that he did that Sebastian couldn't resist, he'd love him."

"That guy probably could care less. Even though cats seem to be his biggest weakness. He's rather picky about them." Bard pulled up his pajama pants.

Finni kept petting Fluffy who was purring contently. Soon Fluffy put his paw in his mouth. "Awww so cute!" Finni hugged him again.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian sighed the next morning as he got ready for work. His first job of the day. Was to get the cat from Finni to put it outside so it could do it's business. He groaned as he tied his shoes. He could of gotten the others to do it. But chances were they'd forget and the cat would end up doing it's business in the house. Thus making him clean it up. So it was skipping a step. Leaving his room he walked to Finni and Bard's room and opened the door. Taking a moment to look around for the cat. Seeing it in Finni's bed he walked over and prepared to grab it when he noticed something about it. "Oh my.." he cooed at the cat as he picked it up.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel was sleeping peacefully in his nice warm bed. Content that his room was nice and pleasantly warm. Something was placed on top of him but he ignored it. Thinking it was his comforter for a moment until he realized the item in question, was sucking on his ear lobe. Instantly he was awake with wide eyes even as he laid still. Sebastian was clearly looking at him with a look that stated whatever was happening to him at that moment, the demon considered the most adorable thing on the face of the earth. "Sebastian...?"

"Sooo cuttteeee!" Sebastian's eyes sparkled in delight as he had his hands clasped by his face. "He's sucking on your ear like it's a bottle."

Listening for a moment Ciel could clearly hear the sounds like a baby sucking on a pacifier or bottle. "What the hell?" he shot up in a sitting position. Seeing the cat look at him in distaste as he ruined the moment. Fluffy walked over to the demon who seemed to gladly pick him up and coddle him.

Sebastian held the cat at an arm's length away. "You are officially the greatest cat ever!" he then hugged Fluffy close to himself. Even going as far as rubbing his face against the cats own face. "I don't even care that you have a lack of fur! Your unique skill makes up for it!"

"YOU LET THE CAT SUCK ON MY EAR?" Ciel shouted mortified.

Sebastian gave him an innocent expression. "But its so cute. I've never seen a cat suckle on it's paw or ear lobes before. It was exceedingly adorable!"

"YOU LET THE DAMN CAT SUCK ON MY EAR?" Ciel got up and grabbed at the demon's sleeve.

"What? Now you know what it's like for someone to suck on your ear lobes." he smiled as he petted the cat.

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO KNOW THAT?"

"Cause..."

"What do you mean cause?"

"Just cause." he smirked as the cat rubbed his head under Sebastian's chin.

Ciel facepalmed himself hard. "Damn it all." His plan had failed miserably. And now Sebastian adored the cat because of it's new found ability. In his attempt to pick on the demon, he'd ended up making him happy.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Wow...that was rather unexpected." Bard stated as he watched the butler play with the cat by teasing it with a cat toy. "What made you change your mind?" he walked over and scratched the cat under it's chin, making him purr in delight.

"His special ability." Sebastian responded with a smirk.

"Ability?"

This caused Sebastian's smirk to go demonically sinister.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Sebastian where's...What are you doing?"

"Why are you just standing there letting this happen?" Bard shouted as Fluffy sucked on his ear lobe and petted him with his paw. "Stop recording this and help me!"

Sebastian stood by a camera, turning the handle as he was recording the instance. "No, I wanna have a full recording of this for future generations." he kept on. "Oh...hi young master." he stated when he noticed his master was beside him. This didn't stop him from turning the handle on the camera.

"This is so embarassing." Bard covered his eyes with his hand. He was laying on his side on the couch as the cat was going on. "I think i'm gonna cry."

"Cry later, i'm not done recording yet." Sebastian checked the lense to ensure the angle was correct.

"Why...?" Ciel started. "How...?" he put his hands to his hips. "When the hell did you get a recording camera?"

"Hmmmmmm..." Sebastian thought for a moment. "About an hour ago?"

"Those things are expensive!"

"So? It's not like I used your money to get it. I used my pay." he stood straight after adjusting the camera.

"...That's actually believable." Ciel sighed. Sebastian probably had enough money to buy out his company if he wanted to. Not that it mattered due to Sebastian being a secret business partner to the company anyway. "I shouldn't of given you access to the...what's the cat doing?"

"Awwww he's rubbing his face on Bard's hair!" Sebastian kept rolling the camera. "I'm so glad I didn't stop recording!"

"This is torture!" Bard shouted as the cat was now sitting on his shoulder and grasping at his head with his paws, rubbing his face all over Bard's head enthusiastically.

"Your like catnip!" Sebastian stated with a child like joy.

"Just kill me now." Bard sulked.

"Think of it as punishment for all the other times you made vulgar comments at me."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Well now you can be sorry while getting petted by the cat." he smiled with glee.

Bard sulked and whimpered as the cat continued to rub his head all over his hair. "Well...atleast we have a cat with personality." Ciel stated as he sigh. Then lifted a tail on Sebastian's coat and dug into his pocket and pulled out his butler's notebook. Making a few dashes in the back. Sebastian's total was 300, while His was 187. "Damn him for getting past his dislike for the hairless cat." he muttered. Greatly wishing the demon hadn't learned a lesson in tolerance.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Probably not as funny as the last chapter. But I thought it was cute. Plus the conversation with Fetus for Brunch and some youtube videos didn't help me to rid of it from my mind. xD I hope you all enjoyed it in the least. The videos where you can see what the cat is doing are on youtube. The titles are:_

_Sphynx Cat with personality! from acajuncharm and cat sucking on my husbands ear from Ladycryptkeeper. LOL. I thought they were cute...and funny. XD_

_Oh and i've officially decided i'ma definately be Undertaker for AX2011 XD Madhatter version xD._

_Reviews and Critique appreciated. _


	23. Private time for a demon

Something New 23

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian had just put his master to bed and was reading over the days newspaper. He wanted to see if there was any interesting news, or perhaps he would see a random article with something that include one of his fellow demons that had accidentally been caught on camera. Flipping through the pages he giggled. "Big foot...oh Chuck your still teasing the humans with your shenanigans." he flipped the page. "OOOOOOOOOOOO" he squealed when he flipped over to the tv releases that were coming out. One particular show had caught his attention.

Taking out a piece of paper from his desk he wrote some information down eagerly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Later that morning he woke his master up in his typical manner. Opening the curtains, dressing his master, giving him tea. "Young master." he started.

"Hmm?" Ciel sipped at his tea while the demon was putting on his shoes.

"There's something I would like to watch on tv tomorrow. It starts at 2 pm. Is it alright if I watch it?" he asked.

"Hmm." he hummed. Then pulled the cup from his lips. "Make sure to post a memo as a reminder." he yawned.

"Yes my lord." he smiled in delight. He was rather sure his master was going to say no. But he'd gotten a yes. This pleased him greatly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

In Ciel's office, Sebastian was giving his master alot of paperwork that needed to be finished. Including his memo his master was to sign to show he agreed to allowing him to watch his show in a few days. He smiled happily when his master signed off on it and handed it to him.

"Thank you young master." he took the paper and put it in his pocket.

"Hmm."

"Are you alright young master? You seem abit...under the weather." he put a hand to his master head.

"I think I have a light fever." Ciel stated.

"Hmmm. You do seem to have abit of a fever. Shall I cancel your schedule for the day so that you may rest?" he asked as he pulled the seat back.

"Yeah." Ciel started to feel dizzy. Sebastian picked him up and carried him back to his room. Changing him quickly and tucking him into bed.

"Later I shall bring you some nice hot soup." he started closing the curtains.

"Hmmm.." he drifted off to sleep.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It took a few days, but Ciel was alot better. He stretched as he walked about the manor as he was taking a break from his work. He was gonna go watch abit of tv until it was time for his snack. Walking to the entertainment room he opened the door and was surprised at what he saw. "Sebastian! What are you doing?"

Sebastian was munching on some popcorn. "Watching tv." he stated.

"Your not supposed to be watching tv!"

"You gave me permission days ago."

"You liar!" he shouted, until Sebastian produced the memo he'd signed days ago. "What is this?"

"Proof that you gave me permission." He stated as he put it back in his pocket. "Now silence. My show is back on." he stated as he moved abit closer to watch.

Ciel huffed as he sat on the sofa behind the demon. He sighed as he was aggrivated. Then he saw the remote for the tv and went to grab it, but it was snatched away before he could. "Hey!"

"I was here first!" Sebastian stated with a glare at his master as he put the remote away from his master. Ciel growled in frustration as he was forced to watch.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The next day Ciel was looking forward to abit of tv time. He went into the entertainment room again only to find his butler once again at the television. "Again?"

"You gave me permission to watch the series. Now silence!" he growled at his master.

Ciel smacked himself as he was hating himself for his own blunder. "New order, never have me sign off on something when i'm sick again!"

"Shuuuuussssshhh!" Sebastian shushed him.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Finni was in the garden pulling weeds out from the yard. "Ahhh! I got it!" he cheered when a weed came out. Then he heard some giggling coming from the entertainment room above him. "Oh? Is Sebastian watching that show again?" he wondered. "It sounds like a nice show. I wish I could watch." he cooed.

"Finni! Don't just stand there. Help us clean up the yard!" Bard shouted as he was picking up some old tree branches.

"Coming!" he shouted as he ran to the chef with the one weed he'd pulled out.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

About 15 minutes later, Sebastian turned off the tv with a hint of disappointment. He wished his new favorite show wasn't only 30 minutes. But those 30 minutes gave him abit of peace. Which he was grateful for. "Another day saved!" he repeated the final line of the show. As he twirled he stopped when he saw the days newspaper on the table. Picking it up and reading it he became exceedingly happy. "OH YES! A MARATHON!" He jumped for joy unlike himself. "And it's on my day off! DOUBLE YES!" he was practically skipping unlike himself. "I've got to reserve the tv for the day." he opened the new book Ciel had placed in the entertainment room. It was to be used to reserve the tv for certain times. His master had implimented this new policy as it was nearly impossible as of late to get use of the tv when Sebastian or Granny had a hold of it. Especially Granny. She had many shows that she enjoyed watching.

Flipping to the page with the indicated date he signed his name over the time line for the marathon. Gleefully happy as no one else had signed up for that day. Overall his name outlined 7 hours of that day. Running from 12 pm to 7 pm for the day. "I've got to make sure no one disturbs me for that period." he stated as he thought of how he could keep any interuptions from his favorite show.

"Sebastian." Finni peaked into the room. Then saw what he was holding. "AHH!" he grabbed at the book quite rudely in Sebastian's opinion. "Nooo! I wanted to watch tv during that time!"

"Too bad I signed my name on the pages. Your too late."

Finni's eyes got teary. "But I wanted to watch the Rowdy count movie!"

Sebastian's eye twitched in annoyance. But then he remembered something. "Doesn't that movie start at 8 pm on the same channel?"

"Oh!" he stopped for a moment. Then looked at the news paper. "IT DOES! Teehee!" he blushed. "So...why are you signing up for so much tv time?" he tried to take a peak.

"It's nothing. Just a marathon I want to watch on my day off." he signed Finni's name to the 8 pm time slot for the same day. The blond's handwritting could be horrible when he wrote things down excitedly. "There i've signed you for the 8 pm slot." he closed the book.

"Can I watch it with you?"

"Don't you work that day?"

"I have the day off too." he smiled. "The young master said it was better for me to just have the same days off as you when you were in the house."

"Tch." he put the book on the table. "Fine, but if you make any racket while my marathon is on your out."

"I promise I won't!" he ran for the door. "Yay! Tv time!"

"By the way why did you come in here in the first place?" he asked before Finni could leave.

"Oh!" he stopped short of the door. "I forgot. The young master is calling you."

"Ah I see." he stated. 'So the young master sent Finni as a pawn so he wouldn't get attacked for disrupting me. What a cruel master.' he thought in his mind as he giggled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Oh my oh my." Granny stated as she passed by Sebastian pushing a cart full of various treats on a cart. "Is Ciel having a piggy day?" she asked. She was eyeing a particularly delicious looking parfait on the cart. It had strawberries and kiwi. With some bananas, and cream on the top.

"Not today, Granny." Sebastian stated with a smile. "Today is my marathon and i'm procuring snacks so that I may enjoy it with as little disruptions as possible."

"Oh was that today?" she asked. It'd been a few days since she'd last asked him about what he had planned for his day off. "You seem to have quite abit of snacks. I hope you don't get a tummy ache."

"Oh they aren't all for me granny. Finni shall be joining me."

"Oh my how thoughtful of you. I'm sure you two will have a nice time."

He saw her eyeing the parfait he'd made. Smiling he decided on a good plan in his mind to keep his master in good manners. "Would you like to join us granny?"

"Oh I wouldn't want to ruin your marathon." she protested.

"No I insist. You wouldn't be a bother at all granny. Just don't interrupt and I promise not to get cranky." he replied.

"Well if you insist." she caved in.

'And that's one more thing I have to keep the young master at bay for the day.' he thought. "I'll be sure to save you a parfait granny. Now if you excuse me i'm going to go set up. My marathon starts in an hour."

"Please make sure to have my sitting pillow on the sofa dearie."

"But of course granny." he smiled as he entered the entertainment room. He'd already had alot set up. Granny's blanket included on the sofa next to a rather large basket of various yarns and crochetting threads. Her sitting pillow placed just so in preparation for her to sit. He'd planned to get granny in on it from the start. "Looks like you won't be throwing a tantrum today young master." his smile grew as he placed the snacks near the tv off to the side. He even had a large metal basin filled with ice that had various drinks it it, such as milk or water he'd placed in old wine bottles he'd cleaned out. Some even had juice. Oh yes he had planned this day well.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel was exceedingly angry. He thought by giving Sebastian a day off he'd get to watch some television. But the demon had been smart and signed up for the day. A technicality on his part. Had he been thinking he would of thought to sign up for the day in advance. He was kicking himself for not realizing his folly sooner.

But he intended to take over the tv room no matter what. There was just one tiny problem. "Granny what are you doing here?"

"Watching this marathon with Sebastian and Finni." she stated as she knitted where she sat. There was an empty parfait cup near her.

'Damn that demon. He planned for this didn't he?' he thought as he looked at the demon. But then it dawned on him what he was watching. "Wait...is that...are you serious?"

"Shuuusssh!" Sebastian shushed him. Fluffy was laying in his lap as he sat crosslegged on a sitting pillow in front of the television. He was purring as the demon petted him.

"Go Milky go!" Finni cheered. "You can do it! Don't let Pit Dog get away with his crimes!"

"ARE YOU WATCHING A SHOW WITH PUPPETS?" his eyes bulged from his sockets. Surely it was some sort of joke from the demon.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE HAPPY KITTY DETECTIVE SHOW!" the demon yelled at his master. Yet he seemed to be avoiding the fact that Granny and Finni had spoken as well.

"The...what?" Ciel raised a brow. "THAT'S A SHOW FOR CHILDREN!" he shouted. "Ow!" He shouted in pain a second later. Sebastian had thrown a spoon at him.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel grumbled in distaste as he sat on the sofa with his arms crossed. He'd been forced to watch the marathon for a grueling four hours. And he hated it. He wanted to smack the demon for hitting him with a spoon earlier. But with granny nearby that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"Run Happy Kitty run!" Sebastian shouted in excitement as the puppet on the screen "ran" from the enemy on the screen. "Don't let Pit Dog get you!"

"Nooooooo!" Finni shouted in return as the puppet known as Pit Dog was "catching up" to the Happy Kitty puppet. "Happy Kitty! Save yourself! You have to save Bubbles before she's adopted by the evil Dog Lover's family!"

On the screen the puppet stopped short of a cliff and turned to face his enemy.

"Bwahahahahaha! This is the end of you Happy Kitty! Prepare yourself! This is the end!" stated the puppet dog.

"Not if I can help it!" stated the puppet cat. Then he took out a dog treat of out no where, and tossed it into the "air" making the puppet dog go after it and "chew on it happily" as the cat puppy ran to escape. "Dog treats are a great way to tame a bad dog." he stated. "Now it's time for me to go and save Bubbles from the terrible Dog Lover's family!" he "ran" to go save the other cat puppet from the so called terrible family.

Ciel groaned as he was wishing the stupid show would end.

"Stop right there!" the cat puppet pointed at the family.

"Granny can we please just end this agony and change the channel?" he pleaded with her. "This is excruciating."

"Sorry dear your the one who stated the one who signs up for the tv gets to watch whatever they want." she kepts to her knitting.

"Tch." he slouched in his seat.

"Thank you so much for saving me Happy Kitty! However can I repay you?" the other cat puppet asked.

"Just make sure to always carry your kitty license with you at all times, so that way no bad dog families can adopt you." the cat puppet stated.

"I will from now on."

"Just remember boys and girls. Not all dogs are bad dogs. All animals should be treated with kindness. But should you come across a dog or a cat that is being mean be sure to leave them alone as they might be very scared. Until next time. I'm Happy Kitty. Detective!" he threw a punch in the air.

"This marathon was brought to you in part by Funtom toy company." the announcer stated. "Thank you for watching."

"Oh god my own company funded this thing?" Ciel smacked himself. "How embarrassing."

"Yay! Happy Kitty Detective wins again!" Finni cheered as he tossed his arms in the air.

"Please tell me it's over." Ciel groaned as if he was dying.

"It is young master." Sebastian turned. "Though I must say you were exceedingly rude. Making so many disruptions."

Ciel kicked the demon's back. "And you hit me with a spoon!"

"Granny! The young master kicked me!" he whined at her.

"Ciel, you know better than to do that." she scolded in a kind manner.

"Then scold him for hitting me with a spoon!" he shot back.

"Now, now. Both of you be nice to one another." she stated, seemingly ignoring the fact that Sebastian had indeed done the first attack. "Come here Fluffy, I have a present for you." she held out her arms.

Fluffy mewed as he went to her and purred as he rubbed his head against her arm. She picked him up and started putting an outfit on him.

"That's amazing granny!" Finni stated with excitement. "Now Fluffy can be a detective!"

"I know right." she giggled as she held the cat up so everyone could see his new outfit. She'd knitted him a small trench coat and hat that were brown. "And now he can be nice and warm in the winter too."

"Awww how cute!" Sebastian took Fluffy and cuddled with him. "Your just like Happy Kitty now!"

"Can somebody kill me now...Please!"

"Oh lighten up Ciel." Granny stated. "You know you enjoyed the show."

"Did not." he grumbled. "Is it over now?"

"Yes my lord. The marathon is over."

"Finally!" he proceeded to grab the remote but Sebastian snagged it before he could. "HEY!"

"Sorry young master, but Finni sighed up for this time slot to watch the Rowdy Count Movie." he handed the blond the remote.

"Geeehh!" he growled. Taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"So are you going to continue to watch that stupid show?" Ciel asked as the demon was giving him a bath.

"Indeed young master. It's my favorite show."

"Thank god it's only 30 minutes long a regular day." he stated. "That was brutal. They should use that to punish criminals."

"How can you say that young master? It's an exceedingly adorable show with morals and education."

"Oh please, you just like it because the main character is a cat."

"A detective cat." he smiled.

"Idiot." he mummbled. But then got splashed in the face with some water. "Gahh!"

"Fluffy." he stated in a cute voice. "You know better than to join in on the young masters bathtime." he put his hands to his hips as Fluffy was swimming in the bath with Ciel.

"Get that thing out of my bath water!" he moved away from the swimming cat.

"Yes my lord." Sebastian picked up Fluffy from the tub and held him close as he dried him with a towel. He petted him as he walked him out of the bathroom. "Now go on and play while I finish giving the young master his bath." he waved at him. Fluffy mewed at him and started pawing at one of Ciel's shoes. Sebastian closed the door so Fluffy wouldn't get in again.

"Sebastian clean my tub and redo my bath!" Ciel shouted as he got out of the tub.

"Young master how mean. I always ensure Fluffy is cleaned everyday. You act like he's a filthy animal." he started draining the tub.

"Silence you! Don't give me a lecture on morals when you watch children puppet shows!" he wrapped himself in a clean towel until the demon was finished.

"You could do with abit of time watching them young master. Your manners are horrible." he stated with a smirk even as Ciel threw a bar of soap at his head.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_XD Ahh another chapter I have written. Basically this comes from the fact that Fetus for Brunch showed me the newest My Little Pony series called Friendship is magic. XD I loved My Little Ponies! I miss my original figure = *bawls* It got lost during so many moves. *cries* It's okay i'll get some again XD._

_I don't really know if there was a lesson in this chapter. But I thought it'd be cute. XD Especially since i've been in alot of physical pain lately and very fatigued. = I'ma try to get in contact with a doctor today to see if i'll be able to get some help. Wish me luck on that. Because frankly I can't live with this pain anymore. I wake up from a full nights sleep and a few hours later i'm exhausted. And this has been going on for over a month. =_

_Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to update more soon. If anyone is curious the sewing machine tutorial is up at as well as a dye tutorial =) Hope they help!_

_Reviews and comments appreciated._


	24. Don't leave demons alone in the house

Something New 24

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel was looking at his other servants with a hint of annoyance on his features. Everyone except Sebastian was in the room. Even Fluffy who was sitting beside Granny. Ciel briefly wondered if the cat had come in out of curiousity or if he'd come due to everyone being called. It was rather strange when he said for them to stand before his desk and the cat listened. But he had other matters.

"As you all know i've called you all here to discuss something with you all." he started. "We must keep this from Sebastian until the final moment."

"Is it a surprise?" Finni asked.

"Yes. In fact he'll be so surprised that he actually might die of a heart attack at such a surprise." he smirked. "Now all of you, lend me your ears." he huddled with them. Fluffy sitting in the middle of the circle looking up at everyone adorably.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian had to say he was honestly shocked when he found out a week later that his master was leaving. He was giddy when his master said the other servants were going with him, including Granny. And best of all he discovered. He was going to be permitted to have the house to himself for a whole entire day. A full 24 hours of no bratty master, no annoying servants and no mischiveous grannies. He was standing very still in the entry way as everyone was carrying their luggage to the carriage. Of course this didn't mean he wasn't skeptical at his master's sudden kindness either. "Young master what do you intend to do for 24 hours?"

"Granny has a doctors appointment in town and it's required she stay overnight. Instead of going back to pick her up, I thought it'd be easier for us to stay in a hotel."

"Then wouldn't that mean my services are even more required?" he asked.

"Not at all. Since it's only a short trip, you aren't needed for the day. Just enjoy the day off and relax."

Sebastian raised a brow as he looked at his master. "There isn't secretly a bomb in the house that's going to explode while i'm in it is there?"

"WHAT? NO!" Ciel was mortified.

"Just checking." he smirked. "You all have a nice little trip." he waved as everyone was getting into the carriage.

"Bye bye Sebastian!" Finni waved at the demon eagerly.

"Bye." Sebastian smiled as he saw the carriage moving away from the house. His waving had soon stopped and he went back into the house and closed the door. He smiled evilly as he had one thought in mind.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He skidded across the tile floor to the house entry way in his socks. He was only his white shirt, pants, socks and gloves. His shirt was untucked and partially unbuttoned. Being a stiffy butler made his demonic playful side near bursting at wanting to be let out. So here he was having the time of his life sliding across the floor in his socks. Ever since he's become his master's butler he'd always wanted to do it. And never had had the opportunity til now. So he was going to get as much floor skating as he could.

"WEEEEEEE!" he did another round across the floor. Doing some twists and turns as if he were skating on ice. He spun around a few more times, and fell to the floor panting. "Ahhhh that was fun!" he stated. The adrenaline rush still going through his body intensely. It was good to let loose.

"Mew..." Came Fluffy who walked over his belly and chest and started licking him on his face.

Sebastian giggled as he pet him. "I'm fine, I swear!" he took a few breaths. "Now what should I do?" he sat up, as he held Fluffy to his chest. There was so many activities running through his mind he didn't know which to do next.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He held the turkey baister as he went about the house on the prowl. He had one of his ties tied to his head like a bandana and some shoe polish to make stripes on his face. Holding a packet of Bard's cigarettes he spoke in to. "This is Black crow, at sector two. Target is in sight and within range." he stated. Not too far away Fluffy was licking one of his paws as he had a small little green vest, some shoe polish on his little cheeks, and a small military bandana as well. "Executing stealth attack, over." he stated to the cigarette packet. Then he started crawling as if he was in the army to get near Fluffy. "FIRE!" He shot the water from the turkey baister. But Fluffy was quick and dashed before he got wet. "ENEMY IS ESCAPING TO THE WEST! I REPEAT ENEMY IS ESCAPING TO THE WEST!" He shouted to the packet.

Fluffy ran and did a turn to make him go partially up the stairs and jumped on the demons head then ran to hide under the table.

"MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! I REPEAT MAN DOWN! UNIT IS UNDER ATTACK! UNIT IS UNDER ATTACK!" he pretended. Dropping the turkey baister for a moment. Fluffy was trying to make his escape and stepped on it, making it spray water on the demon.

"OHH!" he gripped his chest. "I'VE BEEN SHOT! IT IS THE END OF UNIT 3!" he fell to his knees. "GOOD BYE! CRUEL WORLD!" he fell to his back, then pretended to convulse.

Fluffy looked at him as if he were briefly wondering if his owner had gone insane. He was currently halfway up the stairs. Wondering if it was safe or not to go near him.

"Playing army isn't so fun when your only opponent is a kitty." Sebastian sat up. "The games only lasted for 10 minutes." he looked at his watch. "How disappointing."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Now he was sitting in the tub. It was filled to the brim with bubbles. Nearly overflowing from the sides. "DIVE DIVE!" he took the rubber ducky and proceeded to make it dive into the water. "We must avoid the humans before they get us and make us into a roast!" he moved the rubber duck along in the water. Sebastian giggled as he allowed the bath toy to float back up in the water. "Wow! I'm actually getting pruney for once!" he looked at his fingers. It was an indication of how long he'd been in the tub. "There's such a huge difference from a 10 minute shower to an hour long bath." he flexed his fingers. "Ahhh i've missed these long relaxing baths." he sat back in the tub. And picked up a box of chocolate bon bons from the side table and popped one in his mouth. "The young masters secret stash of bon bons adds just the right touch."

The sat back and relaxed for abit longer, finishing off the box of chocolates. Sebastian started tapping his fingers along the sides of the tub. His face was completely serious for the moment. "Okay..i'm bored again." he muttered. Then looked at his fingers again. "I guess it's time to get out of the tub anyway. I'm exceedingly pruney." he grabbed a nearby towel.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It'd taken him a few hours to set up his next game. The design was complex. It ran through nearly half the house. But it was worth it. Sebastian placed the final dominoe in place and stepped away slowly. "There. All done." he smiled at his work. "Now." he flicked at the dominoe he'd just placed. Watching as it started the tumble of other dominoes before it. Like a child, he got up and quickly followed the quickly falling dominoes. "GO! GO!" he shouted in excitement. He was hoping if he'd done it right that all the dominoes would fall.

Running down the hall he followed them as the started falling down the stairs into the foyer. The center of the stairs was covered in dominoes, and when they fell they made a bloomed rose pattern, then continued down the rest of the stairs circling round and round until it continued on into the dining room and the dominoes path split into 2 different directions, forcing the demon to run across the table just to see both sides falling. When they got to the end of the table they realigned in a single path that led to the kitchen. The path took him around the kitchen in a vast amount of swirves before heading towards the servants quarters. Going along the hall near the end until it reached it's final destination. The final dominoe falling and making a ball roll along a set of pipes he'd placed just for the occastion. Finally the ball rolled and fell into a basket that lowered while another basket was lifted and hit a stick that made another ball roll along a plank of wood that finally, after all the rolling it'd done, hit a bottle of milk that tilted and poured into a bowl. At which point Fluffy and the black cat from the garden happily drank from it.

"SCORE!" he threw his arms in the air at his accomplishment. "The dominoe milk serving technique was a complete success!"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After cleaning up the massive amount of dominoes, pipes, planks and everything else he'd used for his milk serving project. It finally dawned on him something that he wished he hadn't realized. He shuddered as the thought occured to him like lighting. He missed his master, granny and the other servants. Even now he sat in his masters chair that was in his office. Sheer boredom overtaking his person as he couldn't think of what else to do. The clock stated that it was only 7 pm. A whole 12 hours since his master and the others had left for town.

"AHHH!" he spun in his masters chair. He was trying to remove those horrid thoughts of missing humans from his mind. Eventually he'd have to leave anyway. So it was pissing him off that he was growing attached. "No!" he stood firm. "I will not let this get me down. I still have 12 hours to myself!" he stated with determination. Then he fell back into his masters seat with a sigh. "But I don't know what else to do to keep me occupied." he looked about the office. "Hmmmm.." he placed a hand on his cheek as he leaned on his masters desk. "What happened to me. I used to be able to come up with fun ideas in an instant one after another." he started using his free hand to tap his index finger against the top of the desk. He groaned as his tried his best to think of what he could do next to entertain himself. Several minutes passed by, until. "AHH!" he shouted in excitement.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It'd taken him abit of time, but he'd managed to gather everything he needed for his next idea. He walked like a teacher giving a lecture. Even holding a ruler to emphasize his act. In front of him in his master, was four rows of cats. Twenty in total. Fluffy and the cat in the garden included. Each was sitting in a precise spot on the carpet as if they were in the army and awaiting orders.

"Now. Who can tell me what 1 plus 1 equals?" he asked like a stern teacher would. "And please remember to raise your paw to answer." he tapped the ruler in his hand. Amazingly a few paws were actually raised. "Spot, what is the answer?" he pointed his ruller at the calico cat sitting in the second row.

"Mew. Mew." she replied.

"That is correct." he applauded her. Then tossed her a treat from his pocket. Yes. Sebastian Michaelis, demon butler of the Phantomhive family. Was teaching the cats he found on the grounds, arithmatic. He'd given the cats a rather long lecture on proper ettique. Proper proceedure for entering another persons home. Proper paw wiping techniques, as well as a lecture on cat history. Over all he'd used up about 3 more hours of his time for this process. "Now who can tell me what 2 plus 2 equals?" he asked.

A few paws went up.

"Sheen." he pointed.

"...Mew...Mew..Mew...Mew?" he seemed to be confused. His hesitant mews showing he wasn't fully sure of the answer.

"That is correct." he applauded Sheen who was a grey short hair. Then tossed him a treat from his pocket. "I must say your all doing exceedingly well."

All the cats mewed adorably as if to cheer for their progress.

"Now. Next on the lesson plan is toilet potty training." he clapped his hands. Many cat ears went down at this statement. "FLUFFY! NO MAKING OUT IN CLASS!" he put his hands on his hips, when Fluffy was licking the black cat from the garden on her mouth. "Bad Fluffy." he picked him up by the scruff of his neck and held him at eye level. Fluffy just looked at him innocently, and licked his nose. "Bad Fluffy." he giggled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

In the morning he was waiting for everyone to return home. He'd throughly cleaned the manor so his master wouldn't be aware of all the cats he'd had in the house. He'd also built the cats a sort of dorm house near the barn for them to go to sleep or get out of the bad weather. It was under a tree with plenty of shade and water. He saw the carriage pull up. Once it stopped he opened the door for his master. "Welcome home young master." he smiled as he helped his master down. Then proceeded to help Granny out as well.

"Oh my, it seems you are so much more relaxed than usual. Did you enjoy your day off without anyone in the house?" she asked.

"Indeed. I had lots of fun." he smiled at her.

"Oh? So am I to assume the house is in shambles inside?" Ciel smirked. Part of his plan was to see if Sebastian would go crazy without him for a day. He was partially disappointed that the demon wasn't crying for anyone to never leave again though.

"Certainly not. The house is in impecable order." He started leading the way up the stairs and opened the front door.

"Well that was disappoin..." Ciel stopped as he looked to the other side of the steps.

"Young master?"

"LOOK!" Finni pointed excitedly. "Fluffy and another cat are playing leap frog!" he smiled.

Sebastian looked where Finni was pointing and his jaw dropped.

"He can't seem to jump over her properly though. Look he's still trying." Finni added.

"Oh dear." Granny covered her mouth.

"Finni...I think it's time you and I had a talk." Bard grabbed the shorter blond and dragged him into the house. Maylene following behind as she averted her gaze from the cats.

"SEBASTIAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM!" Ciel shreeked.

"Bad Fluffy!" Sebastian put his hands on his hips. Though on the inside he was excited about the prospect of possible kittens being born. After a minute Fluffy and the black cat from the garden separated and simply started licking one another. Sebastian picked up Fluffy by the scruff of his neck and held him at eye level again. "Naughty Fluffy." he said at the cat who looked at him as if he was giving him the proudest smile at his accomplishment.

"Oh great, now I have to hope and pray she's not pregnant." Ciel grumbled with distaste.

"Fluffy you should know better." he continued as he held the cat by his neck. "You know very well that the class for sexual education isn't until next week." he scolded the cat. Fluffy just seemed to keep a huge grin on his face as he was still proud of himself.

"WHAT?" Ciel was stunned at what the demon was saying to the cat. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING YOU STUPID DEMON?"

"I've been giving Fluffy lessons in proper ettiqute." he smiled. "So he can be a proper cat of the Phantomhive family."

Ciel just looked at the demon like he was insane. "Just...just go in the house." he pointed to the door. "Just get yourself in the house and clean something or whatever."

"Yes my lord." he carried Fluffy into the house.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He had his bedroom window open. The black cat from the garden was laying at the foot of his bed as he held Fluffy in his arms. "I don't see why the young master got so upset. A proper education is necessary in life." he petted him. "Do you think I went a little far in teaching the history of cats?" he asked him. Fluffy just licked his nose again. He giggled and squished his paw in delight. "Perhaps I did let my boredom go abit overboard this time. I mean really." The black cat from the garden went over to him and laid on his lap and purred. "You all secretly just did what I said for the treats didn't you?" he asked. The other 18 cats roaming about his room, laying on the floor, or playing.

"Mew!" Fluffy seemed to reply to his question.

"Cats are truly amazing." he hugged him.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I don't know. LOL. But the lesson in this is for Ciel...don't ever leave a demon alone in the house when there are cats within the surrounding area. XD He will start to give them a totally pointless education class. LOL. The cats lesson in this? Do what the food giver says and you get awesome treats. XD Sebastian's lesson...next time plan for when he's left alone in the house. LOL._

_If nothing else I hope you all have gotten a laugh outta this. On a side note. I did manage to go to class yesterday after my doctor appointment. I was still in alot of pain. But it was manageable. I have a crap load of art history homework to catch up on. But i'ma work on that while at work. .; Atleast i'm not behind in french. That's always good. I do have to make up the test I missed for that class in may though . Oh well atleast I get to make it up. That's better than getting a 0 for it. My cosplay is temporarily on hold due to a lack of funds to buy the fabric I need. But I did manage to find the fabrics so that's good. =) One type I have to order online because they don't have it in stores at all . DOH! But it's better than not finding it at all. I should be able to atleast get started on my top hat in the least. Like atleast cut the patterns out of some of the material I have. If I have enough then i'll just work on that =) I'll keep you all posted. _

_I'm also selling some stuff on if I haven't mentioned this before. At the moment I don't know if I have anything anyone really wants but I just thought i'd let ya guys know. I'm Shunhades on there if anyone wants to take a look. I'll be adding more items to sell as I clean up my room. So who knows, maybe i'll have something people want. I did sell some stuff. XD Yay me! But the money went to gas and doctor bill. . Boo. I was hoping to have that money to buy the fabric for my cosplay. *snaps fingers* damn it all._

_Comments and Reviews appreciated. =)_


	25. Some itemsare just amusing to know of

Something New 25

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_I found out abit of history. And it works for the timeline of Kuroshitsuji. Be afraid...or atleast prepared to laugh. xD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel was looking over his mail for the day as his butler was busy starting a fire in his office. It was late at night and had gotten rather chilly.

"Young master i'm finished making the fire. Is there anything else you require?"

Ciel just kept looking over his mail with a bored expression. Discarding invitations to the floor like they were trash and putting the bills off to the side to deal with later. One piece of mail caught his attention, and he looked it over. "Ohh a horse riding competition. Sounds interesting." he smirked.

"How unusual for the young master to show such interest in sports. Usually your trying to avoid it as much as possible." Sebastian responded with a smile.

"I happen to enjoy horse back riding." he scowled at the demon. "In anycase it seems to be for charity. All bets will go to building a new orphanage, and the winner shall receive the prize of the orphanage being named after them."

"I see. Then shall you be participating in such an event?"

"Certainly not. I have no time to dawdle in such an event." he tossed the flyer to his desk.

Sebastian smirked evilly as he looked at it. "Perhaps your right. Phantomhive orphanage doesn't have a nice ring to it."

"Are you mocking my family name?" Ciel grew angry. He would not tolerate such insults even from a demon.

"Certainly not. I'm simply stating that the name Phantomhive is a rather long name for an orphanage. And besides the young master as we all know is exceedingly feminine, and would never be able to win at such a sport."

"Is that so?" he raised a brow. Sebastian could swear his masters eye was twitching.

"Most certainly." he smiled. "It would be best if you didn't sully the Phantomhive name with your poor talents at masculine sports."

Ciel promptly got up from his seat. "Listen here you stupid demon! I'll have you know that I will take part in this event, and I will win without your help! And when I win i'll have you lick the dirt off my boots with your tongue! You got that!"

Sebastian was shocked for a mere fraction of a second but then his smile was back on his face once more. "Then am I to assume that you shall be the one licking the dirt off my shoes should you lose?" he challenged back.

"Pft! If I lose then i'll be your servant for a day!"

"Alright. Have it your way young master."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel could only say he felt exceedingly stupid the next morning after he remembered what had happened last night in his office. He had spoken out of anger, and had allowed his butler to edge him on into taking part in the event. "I can't afford to lose." he gripped his head in horror. "If I lose that stupid demon will gloat about it til i'm dead...AND WHY DID I MAKE SUCH A BET WITH HIM?" he yelled. "That demon..he must of tricked me. That bastard!"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was peeking through a crack in the open door as he watched his master be in a complete panic over his dilema. It was beautiful, twisting his master about his little finger like he were nothing more than a mere string. He loved it. He didn't think his reverse psycology would work. But it had, and he'd even gotten a little bet out of it. Now he could only hope his master would lose because he was not looking forward to licking his masters boots. A downside for him should his master win. But the reward if he lost was truly a wonderful thing to hope for. He knocked on the door and walked in. "Young master. I have your uniform for the race." he placed the box on his master's desk.

"Thank you, you may go."

Sebastian bowed before turning to leave the room. He had a smug look on his face the moment his back was turned.

Once the demon had left, Ciel had opened the box to take a look at his uniform. He had never seen an official jockey's uniform before. And he was exceeding curious. Pulling out each article of clothing and carefully placing each item on his desk. Until he came to a rather peculiar item. He held it up between his fingers and he wasn't sure where it was supposed to go. Picking up the item list he read over it's contents. "A jock strap?" he looked at the foreign words with confusion. "What on earth is a jock strap?"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was lunch time now, and he still had no idea what the jock strap was for. Sipping his glass of water as he tried to figure it out. His butler could clearly see their master's was thinking long and hard about something. But he wasn't sure what.

"More water young master?" Sebastian held the pitcher as he stood beside his master.

Ciel removed his empty glass from his lips and nodded. Sighing as his butler poured him another glass of water. What he was about to do would be exceedingly embarrassing. "Sebastian..." he started.

Sebastian stopped pouring the water for a moment as he was bringing his attention to his master. "Yes young master?" he gaze at full attention.

Blushing, Ciel tried to think of how to ask his question, but realized he'd simply have to be blunt. "Umm...what's a jock strap for?"

This obviously caught the demon off guard because as Ciel watched his expression the demon looked at him confused. "A what?" he asked.

"Jock strap." he repeated. "It came with my uniform. And I don't know what it's for."

Sebastian raised a brow as the information was given to him. "Honestly young master I haven't the slightest idea as to what that is."

"I see..." he sighed as he sipped his water.

"Perhaps Bard would know. He used to play many sports in his youth from what he's told me. I shall ask him later."

"Please do." he started cutting at his salad on his plate. "It might be something important. And I don't want to have points taken away due to improper uniform."

"Young master it's a race, not a fashion contest." he giggled.

"Shut up."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He'd just tucked his master into bed and was walking out of the room. He'd told Bard to meet him in the servants dining room earlier that day since there wasn't any time in the work hours for him to ask his question. Walking down the steps he proceeded to his destination. Upon opening the door he wasn't surprised when he saw him sleeping at the table. "Bard." he called with abit of annoyance. But received no response. "BARD!"

"The answer is 7!" he woke up with a start.

"What are you talking about?" Sebastian sighed.

"Oh...sorry...I thought I was in the 6th grade again." he sheepishly rubbed at the back of his head. "I always feel asleep before math class started."

"Thank you for such pointless information." he stated as he took a seat across from the man. "Now as I stated earlier I have to ask you something."

"Shoot." he smiled. It pleased him that Sebastian was actually asking him something.

"The young master as you know will be partaking in an event. He received his uniform today and an item within the contents has confused him, but I do not know what it is for either."

"Okay...and that item would be?"

"A jock strap." he stated bluntly.

For a moment Bard's face was neutral. Then slowly but surely a smile started forming and he started giggling uncontrollably. "So those have made it to England have them?" he took a deep breath to try to control himself.

"I take it it's an item invented in America then?"

"Indeed it is. It was invented by C.F. Bennet in 1874 of Sharp & Smith for bicycle riders."

"Interesting, but that doesn't explain what it's for."

"Well you see..." he started, and then leaned over and started whispering in Sebastian's ear. He was giggling again after he pulled away.

"Are...are you serious...?" Sebastian himself had a sudden case of the giggles.

"As a heart attack." he stated as he was calming down.

Sebastian just did the only thing he was capable of doing at that moment, he put his head to the table,crossed his arms over his head, and cracked up with laughter. This caused Bard to giggle again as the situation was amusing to him.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian simply could not wipe the smile off his face as he walked to go and wake his master for the day. Today was the day of the event, and he was simply giggy at the prospect of his masters reaction at being told what a jock strap was. He knocked on his masters bedroom door and walked in pushing the cart with the morning tea. "Young master. It's time to wake up." he proceeded to open the curtains.

Ciel yawned as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. "Hmmm Sebastian..." he muttered.

"You've got to wake up now young master. Today is the day of the event, and we must depart in an hour if we are to make it on time."

"What time is it?" he asked, he could clearly see it was still dark out.

"Four in the morning young master." he grabbed his masters clothes from the wardrobe as well as the box with his uniform for the event.

Ciel groaned in disgust. "I should of went to bed earlier." he flopped back onto his bed.

"You can get some sleep in the carriage if you'd like."

"...Okay..." he started dozing off even as his butler dressed him. This made Sebastian giggle at his masters antics.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

When Ciel woke up, he was feeling quite refreshed. He saw they were still in the carriage, but nearly at their destination. He'd nearly slept the three hour ride to the event. He looked at the scenery as it passed and then remembered what he needed to know. "Sebastian. Did you find out what a jock strap is?"

This made the demon start giggling and turn away from his master as he feel over in his seat in an attempt to stop his laughter.

"Sebastian?" he raised a brow at his action. But this only seemed to make the demon laugh harder, as now the demon was cracking up hysterically. "Sebastian calm yourself at once and tell me what a jock strap is!"

This made Sebastian laugh even harder than Ciel thought was possible. "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" he got out in his laughter. Pounding a fist again against the cushion of his seat. It took him several minutes to calm down. "Okay...okay...i'm good now...i'm good." he giggled a few more times, before finally calming down entirely. Though the smirk wouldn't leave his face.

"Are you done now?" Ciel asked in annoyance.

Sebastian inhaled then exhaled, "Yes." he lightly giggled.

"So what is a jock strap?" he asked for the second time that day. Sebastian clearly was doing his best to keep from laughing again as his body trembled in the attempt.

"It's..." he stopped for a moment. "It's..." he stopped again as he put his face in his hands, then wiped at his face. "It's to keep your groin in check." he managed as he continued to snicker.

"It's supposed to what now?" he looked at his demon as if he'd gone insane.

"It's basically athletic underwear...from what Bard told me."

"This!" Ciel pulled the jock strap out of the box. "Cannot be underwear!" he shook it in his hands as if he was going to throw it at the demon, then held it between his fingers. "Look at it! It's got a hole in it!"

"Bard explained to me that's how it's supposed to look."

"Surely he must be joking! Where does my ass go? For that matter...where does my crotch even go?"

"Well..." Sebastian smirked.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel had to say he was probably far more embarrassed now than when he had to wear a dress. Atleast when he was in a dress, he was able to wear proper underwear. "I'm not going to chaff wearing this am I?" he blushed as the demon helped him put on his uniform.

"I don't believe so, but I wouldn't know from personal experience. I've never heard of a jock strap til now." he stated as he was buttoning his masters vest.

"This thing is uncomfortable. I'd rather not wear it." he complained.

"I apologize young master but I cannot allow that. If you don't wear it you could get hurt there. It's better to be safe than sorry." he helped his master put on his jacket. "I'm sure you'd want complete use of that particular area should you want heirs." he smirked.

Ciel blushed and turned to face the demon after his jacket was on. "Is my horse ready?"

"But of course young master. Everything is ready for your race."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He was practically hyperventilating once he got to the starting line on his horse. Apart of him was starting to think it wasn't worth it and that perhaps he should just bail out on the race. But he was too stubborn for such a thing. He would not be his butlers servant for a day. He had to win. Or he'd be humilitated for the rest of his life. Shaking doubts from his mind he prepared himself for the race at hand.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian and the others were sitting in a private box their master had bought for them to sit at for the race. It was right in the front row, so they had a clear view of everything. "Oh my the young master seems abit nervous." he stated as he placed the picnic basket behind the seats. It held their lunch for after the race.

"I would be too." Bard stated. "Look at the competition, it looks fearce for something to only get your name on a building."

"Ah but for her majesty the Queen it's a very important building." Sebastian stated as he put another basket behind the seats.

Bard scoffed as he turned. "Ooo you made doughnuts! Can I have one?"

"Not until after lunch." he stated as he slapped Bard's hand from touching the treats.

"Aww."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The pistol had been fired. And the race was on. To Sebastian's surprise, his master was actually doing rather well at the start. He'd gotten a head start, passing the others with flying speed. But soon another competitor was nearing him in the race. Ciel looked at the man in horror as he was catching up at top speed. 'NO NO NO!' he thought as he saw the man slowly passing him. Then he saw Sebastian in the private box he was sitting in and the bet was in his face, hanging over his mind like a tormenting memory. He snapped the reins to edge his horse on faster. And soon he was dead on with the other man.

'I can do this!' Ciel chanted in his mind. 'I can do this! I can win! I CAN WIN!'

This thought was pleasing to him as his horse was slowly gaining speed, but something happened that mortified him. His horse was hit from behind and that hit, made his horse trip into the horse who was next to him, and in the collision, both feel and tumbled to the ground. Causing a roar of surprise and shock from the viewers in their seats. Luckily for all the riders no one was greatly injured. But Ciel was greatly disappointed. He had lost.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian was putting some disinfectant on his master's elbow. He'd gotten a light cut from his fall. "There we are young master. I'm glad your wounds weren't serious." he put a bandage on the cut.

"That bastard cheated." he muttered in distaste. The man who'd used his horse to headbutt his horse from behind luckily didn't win. But because of it, Ciel hadn't won either. And this greatly pissed him off. "I should castrate him." he growled.

"Unfortunately young master there are those who aren't willing to do fair play." he stated as he got up and dusted himself off. "In anycase, lunch is ready."

"I don't want any."

Sebastian smiled. "I made jelly doughnuts." he cooed.

This made Ciel twitch as he gave in almost hesitantly. "A jelly doughnut might cheer me up." he stated.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After some rest for the rest of the day, it was morning, and Ciel woke up and rubbed at his eye in his usual minor. Then blinked when he saw it was light out. "Where is he?" he sat up. Looking at his clock he saw that the time had indicated it was eight in the morning. "Sebastian." he called. But then the demon didn't arrive, he got angry. "SEBASTIAN!" he shouted. But still he did not arrive. With in a few minutes Tanaka arrived.

"Young master." he started. "I was told by Sebastian to give this to you." he offered his master an envelope, then left.

Ciel sat up and opened it. Reading it's contents aloud. "Dear young master. Even though you i'm sure your exceedingly upset that I have not come to wake you. I'm sure you'll understand that a bet is a bet...damn..." he cursed. "I shall be waiting for your in my room. For breakfast i'd love some toast with grape jam, freshly squeezed orange juice, and citrus fruit. Your uniform is at the foot of your bed. Please be on time. A schedule must be kept." he practically tore the note. "That bastard!"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian sat in a recliner as he watched his master scrub at the floors in the foyer. He popped in a chocolate covered cherry into his mouth. "You missed a spot." he spoke with his mouth full.

Ciel scrubbed at the floor in aggrivation. "Shut up!"

"Is that anyway to speak to your master for the day? Naughty naughty." Sebastian chided him.

Ciel grumbled as he continued to scrub the floor. "Yes...master." he choked out with distaste.

"After you done i'd like a nice foot massage." he shook his foot to emphasize his point.

"Yes master." Ciel growled.

"Oh and by the way. What did you do with that jock strap after we got home?" Sebastian asked. "I'm curious."

"I'm keeping it for later use. As uncomfortable as that evil thing was I have to say one thing." he stood up.

"Oh?"

"In the very least it kept me from damaging that area."

"Quite a good lesson don't you think?" he popped another chocolate covered cherry into his mouth.

"That's not the lesson. The lesson is don't make a bet when angry. Especially when the person your betting with is a demon."

Sebastian laughed.

"So when did you scare that man's horse to bump into my horse?"

Sebastian was taken aback by that statement. "Young master I didn't scare that horse at all."

Ciel was shocked after hearing that. "You didn't?"

"No." he stated bluntly. "It was Finni who scared it when he used a confetti popper when he saw you were in the lead."

Ciel went silent for a moment. "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"Not until after you've given me my foot massage." he waved his foot at his master. "Make sure to get between the toes too." he smiled. This made Ciel curse in distaste once more.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Yeah I know...i'm crazy. XD But I got bored, and decided. Hmm...I wonder when the jock strap was invented a few days ago. But didn't look it up. But then today as I was watching Roseanne, it was mentioned again and reminded me of my previous thought xD So I looked it up and I was really surprised to see that they were invented about a year before Ciel would of been born. Of course I had to use this. Even if no official lesson was there. It was just amusing to me to think on how Ciel and Sebastian might react to a jock strap. XD _

_Well on a side note, my classes are going good. I found out on Wednesday that i'm passing french, woo...although it's at a barely because i'm not doing all that well on the tests . Man I hope I pass. But french is so difficult. = And my teacher doesn't explain it very well .. But atleast I got an A in the homeworks so thats good. I don't know if i'm passing art history or not. I could of found out the same day, but at the end of class there was a huge line and I didn't wanna be late for my next class so I left. Maybe I can find out on monday. If I remember. On another goodnews note. Since i've been seeing a doctor for my pain, i've been getting alot better. I don't hurt as much anymore. And I feel like my energy is coming back...even if it has mostly been going toward school. Oh and I did manage to finish my notebook for art history on time =) so that was good too. _

_Anyway I hope you guys liked this chapter. Or atleast got some amusement out of it. Reviews and comments appreciated._


	26. You've played this atleast once

Something New 26

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"CIIIIEEEEELLLL!" the Indian prince glomped the Earl in a haste. "Did you miss me! I know you missed me! Because you always miss your big brother!"

"Let go!" Ciel shouted as he was mortified at the sudden hug from Soma. "Your...cho...king..me..." he coughed out moments later as the prince's grip tightened.

"It's so nice to see you again Mr. Sebastian." Soma smiled.

"Mr. Agni. What a unforeseen visit." Sebastian smiled politely. "But just the same your company is always welcomed here." he added.

"I hope you don't mind, but I brought some bread." he held up a basket. "It's an old recipe from our homeland. I hope you and everyone else will like them."

Sebastian took the basket in his hands and took a peek inside. "Oh, they look simply delicious." he replaced the cover over the bread. "I'm sure they'll go wonderfully with tonights supper. Though if I may ask, there isn't any gluten in them is there? Pardon my rude question. It's simply that the young master's great grandmother is staying with us and she's not allowed gluten in her diet."

"Oh I was not aware that his great grandmother was here. My apologies." he bowed low then stood straight again. "There isn't any gluten in the bread." he smiled.

"Se...ba..." Ciel attempted to breathe as he was still in a death lock hug from Soma.

"Prince Soma..." Sebastian turned to him. "Please let go of the young master. He is human and requires air to breathe." he smiled at him. But clearly it was a smile that stated something unpleasant would happen should his master die via hug from prince. Soma instantly let go.

"OHHH I didn't know you all had a cat!" he picked up Fluffy who was giving him a rather cute look of curiosity.

"Oh yes the young master purchased him not very long ago. His name is Fluffy." Sebastian replied as he took Fluffy in his arms. "He's a rather amazing cat if I do say so myself. Even if he was very very naughty recently." he held Fluffy at eye level to his face. At which time Fluffy promptly licked his nose, as a gesture of apology.

"Why is he wearing a butlers outfit?" Agni asked as he saw Fluffy indeed was wearing a miniature version of Sebastian's uniform. Minus the pants of course.

"Oh I've made Fluffy the residents second butler." he smiled. While Soma and Agni looked at him as if he'd gone insane. "Now Fluffy be a good kitty and show Mr. Agni and Prince Soma to their rooms." he placed the cat on the ground.

"Merow.." Fluffy responded as he walked into the manor in a trot.

"Wow! I've never been led to my room by a cat before!" Soma shouted excitedly as he went after the cat.

"Sebastian you are truly amazing to teach such a fine creature such manners." Agni stated before following.

Sebastian looked at his master who was laying on the floor in a heap. He knelt by his master and poked his cheek. "Are you alright young master?"

Ciel panted heavily as he was now able to regain some much needed air into his system. "I...hate...you..." he managed to get out.

"In otherwords your fine." he teased as he stood up, and walked into the manor. Leaving his master on the floor.

Not even a moment later. "DAMN YOU!" he shouted after his butler who simply closed the door to block off his masters tantrum.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel could honestly say that in the few hours Soma had come with his unwanted visit. His house had become a total nightmare. He couldn't get any work done at all with the indian prince's constant badgering and whining.

"Cieeelll! Play a game with me!" Soma whined for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"No." Ciel growled in frustration.

"I'm boorrrreeedd!" he whined some more as he put his chin on Ciel's desk. Facing him from where he kneeled and giving him his most pathetic puppy dog face.

"Deal with it." he wrote his signature on another document he'd managed to finish going over.

"It's not fair. Sebastian and Agni are hanging out together."

"They aren't hanging out. They are doing chores."

"They are even doing fun activities together. Ciel let's do an activity together! Let's build a temple out of sticks!" he cheerped.

"No." he growled.

"You know you want to play with your big brother!" he hugged him.

"Your not my big brother." Ciel clenched his writing quill in his hand. "And for the last time no!" he pushed Soma away from himself.

Soma merely pouted at being shoved away. For a brief moment he thought about giving up and watching the television that interested him so much when he'd first arrived at the manor. But then an interesting thought occured to him. This made him grin happily. "I bet me and my butler can beat your butler and you at poker." he stated. Even if his plan didn't work. It gave him a few more minutes at teasing Ciel in the least.

"Yeah. When pigs fly." Ciel stated as he moved another document over on his desk when he was finished with it.

"Your scared." he added. "You won't admit that you'd lose in a heart beat if you played poker against me."

Ciel tried to tell himself. It was just Soma being Soma. Mere childs play. But what brought him over was the insult of stating he'd lose at a game. He slowly turned to face the prince, glaring at him with all his might. "I never lose at games." he stated bluntly.

"You'd lose to me. That's why you don't want to play."

Ciel could feel it. His childish side breaking out just as it had done when Sebastian had gotten him to participate in that race. He tried to make it go away, but it was far too late. "Name the time and place, my butler and I will be there to beat you and your butler without breaking a sweat!"

Soma's grin, became enormous after that statement.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian wondered how in all the world he ended up in a schuffle between his master and Soma. He wondered how he and Agni were involved. He also wondered. Why were they playing a card game so late at night when every one else was going to bed.

"Prince Soma please think rationally...there's no need for us to prove who's better. We're all friends here." Agni tried.

"I will beat Ciel to earn his respect! Agni you must beat Sebastian at this card game! You simply must!" Soma pointed at his butler.

"But...but...Mr. Sebastian and I don't want to know who's better. We're satisfied just being friends. Isn't that right Mr. Sebastian?" he looked at his fellow butler with pleading eyes.

"I am nothing more than a simple butler. I have no opinion. I simply do as my master orders me to." Sebastian simply stated with a smile.

"What about your butler's asthetics?"

"Pardon me Mr. Agni. But I don't think a poker game has anything to do with my butler's asthetics." he smiled. Though in reality on the inside he was curious if he could beat Agni at a card game. The man intrigued him. And everything they did was on par. So he always wanted to know if there was something he could beat Agni at.

Ciel was shuffling the deck of cards as he awaited for everyone to be ready. "Don't chicken out Soma. You'll never earn my respect if you do."

"Of course I won't! And to make things more interesting. We'll anty up the game. We'll play strip poker!" he pointed at Ciel. "The loser has to do a dance with nothing but the skin on his back!"

"Whhhhaaaattt?" Ciel shrieked. "I won't agree to this!"

"Hahaha! Then i've already won the game!" Soma stated looking smug.

"You have not!" he slammed his hands on the table.

"Then you'll have to conceed to playing strip poker! There's no other way out of this! If you drop out now, then it's an automatic win for me."

"Oh dear." Agni stated beside Sebastian. Both butlers were merely watching their masters antics. "It seems this game has become...rather...indecent." he stated. Sebastian merely shrugged. He was getting great amusement from watching his master attempt to get out of the game without having an instant loss. The argument between Ciel and Soma lasted several minutes until.

"ALRIGHT FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" Ciel caved. Then sat back down and shuffled the deck some more. Soon he passed out the cards, and everyone picked up their hand.

Atfirst Soma looked as though he was eager, and ready to win. But then something dawned on him. "Ummm."

"Yes Prince Soma?" Agni looked at his master.

He laughed and put a hand behind his head. "How do you play poker?" he asked. Making everyone groan in distaste. Soma simply kept laughing sheepishly as he rubbed at the back of his head.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Okay for the 10th time Soma. Do you now understand how to play poker?" Ciel asked in frustration.

"I...I think..so." he stuttered as he looked over his hand. "So this hand I have now..." he put his cards down. "Is a terrible hand correct?"

"Yes Soma, generally having only a pair of two's is a crappy hand." Ciel stated.

"Okay i'm very sure i've got the game now."

"Good because the real game begins now." Ciel smirked. "Remember you can't take back what you said earlier. Loser does a dance for everyone else in nothing but his naked skin."

"Of course I remember! I never back down from a bet." Soma shot back.

"You mean like the time you "didn't" run from that one bet where the young master stated if he won you'd have to go back home to India?" Sebastian took a seat.

"Or the time when you bet that you could cook without exploding the kitchen?" Agni added.

"Or..." Sebastian was going to add something more but was cut off.

"Okay okay! I never run from a bet that i'm willing to keep! Happy!" Soma blushed in embarrassment.

"Not really." Sebastian stated as his master shuffled the deck. He sighed. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian had to say he was rather surprised at Soma about 30 minutes into the game. He'd actually won a few hands. Which was a rather shocking outcome to say the least. So far he'd only lost his butler's coat. Agni had lost his turban. And his master had lost his coat as well. Soma on the other hand had lost his hair tie, which after much dispute everyone finally agreed his hair tie counted as clothing, his golden necklace, his rings, and earrings. It'd taking many arguements to state to Soma that rings and necklaces did not count as clothing, but soon they gave in if nothing else to keep Soma from whining.

"Royal flush." Sebastian laid his hand down at the table. Earning groans from everyone else. "Now, now, there's no need to be so upset." he smirked. "Now all of you take something off, and be quick. I'd like to be in bed sometime before I have to wake up for work." he stated as he looked at his watch. It was already midnight.

Ciel removed his vest while Agni and Soma removed their shirts. The first revealing of skin was now open.

"This is so unfair." Soma whined in dissatisfaction.

"Your the one who wanted to play." Ciel stated. "We're not letting you out of this one." he smiled.

Sebastian shuffled the deck and passed everyone their cards. "Remember now we're playing a non card exchange game now because you complained it was taking too long." he reminded Soma.

"I know!" he shouted with a pout.

"I'm in." Ciel stated as he looked over his hand.

"I am as well." Sebastian stated.

"I fold." Agni stated. "I only have a pair of fours."

"Ummmm." Soma looked over his cards with abit of confusion. "I'm not sure..."

"Well you can always fold." Sebastian stated as he looked at his hand. He had a pair of sixes and nothing else. He only hoped no one would call him on his bluff.

"But if I do that I might be dropping a good hand." Soma protested.

"Well then Prince, show them your hand." Agni offered the only other solution.

"But i'm not sure I have a good hand." he protested again.

"Then fold." Ciel stated.

"But..." he whined.

"Will you just choose already!" Ciel shouted.

"Okay i'm in!" he dropped his hand on the table.

Sebastian put a hand to his head as though he were greatly embarrassed. "You really should of folded Prince Soma. A pair of three's is not a winning hand. We've told you this before."

"I'm sorry!" he cried.

Ciel simply facepalmed himself as he was already dreading this game as it continued on.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Everyone was truly in utter shock. Somehow through a strange turn of events, everyone was now in the last of their garments. Of course Ciel was keeping his eye patch on. Sebastian of course was keeping his gloves on, as well as Agni keeping his bandages on. But no one. Certainly no one had expected such an outcome to be even possible.

Everyone of them was in nothing but their underwear. How Soma had even managed to last so long in the game was shocking even to his own butler.

"Hmm." Ciel raised a brow at his butlers underwear. "I always thought you wore boxers or went without underwear Sebastian. I didn't think you wore briefs."

"Young master have you ever done a high kick in boxers? It's rather uncomfortable. Briefs are far easier to move in. And going without underwear is just asking for chaffing."

Ciel smirked as he turned away from his butler. "I'll take your word for it."

"Though I must say Mr. Agni, I did not think anyone still wore loin cloths in this day and age." he stated with great amusement.

"Mr. Sebastian loin cloths are the true underwear of men. And I wear them proudly." Agni stated. Soma was also wearing a loin cloth.

"Indeed I can understand wearing something with pride." Sebastian started. "But was it really necessary for you to have animal print on them?" he asked.

"My undergarments are made from only the finest materials." Agni defended himself. "And not everyone can wear only black briefs."

"Well if you must know. I do have white ones as well. Today was simply the day where I choose to wear my black ones." he stated bluntly.

"Are you two quite finished arguing over who's underwear is better?" Soma asked. He was sweating profusely as he was sure he was going to lose. This was the final round and it was anyone's win. It wasn't dancing nude that disturbed him. It was the thought of losing to Ciel and giving the boy an edge over him.

"You should be thanking us Prince Soma." Sebastian stated with a smile. "We've simply prolonged your loss for a few more minutes."

Agni was scuffling the cards and slowly passed them out as if to prolong everyones destiny. This round was the round to state who was superior. Everyone picked up their cards and looked them over very carefully. It was as if time slowed, the minutes seemed to tick by as if they were hours. Agni coughed into his hand as if to clear the air. "I think i'll fold." Agni sighed in defeat. His loincloth was removed and he covered himself with his hands in a blush.

Sebastian looked over his hand and was thinking on what he should do. 'I have a pair of sevens...sevens aren't overly terrible...but at the same time I might not win anyway...' he ran over many possibilities in his mind. Finally he sighed, and put his cards on the table. "I fold as well." he pulled off his underwear and sat in his seat just hoping this game would end so he could go in his room and be embarrassed alone.

It was down to their masters now. Neither seemed like they wanted to give in. But they knew they had to. If they didn't, their butlers would never let them live it down. There could only be one victor.

Ciel laid his cards on the table. "I have a pair of jacks." he stated. He could only hope his pair was high enough for him to win.

Suddenly Soma did a double take. He blinked several times. Then gained a huge grin on his face. "I won..." he whispered. "I won!" he said louder. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WON! HA!" he tossed his cards onto the table. "I HAVE A PAIR OF KINGS! I WON! OH THANK YOU!" he did a little dance.

Ciel on the other hand, along with Agni and Sebastian, was shocked. They all looked simply horrified as they stared at the pair of kings on the table as if they were hoping it was nothing more than a lie. They simply couldn't believe it. Soma had beaten them all. At strip poker.

"That's just no possible! What were the chances he'd win!" Ciel shouted in horror.

"About one in a million." Sebastian stated.

"Prince Soma definately had some luck on his side." Agni stated bluntly.

"CIEL!" Soma slammed his hands on the table. "Now hop to it, i've won and now i've earned your respect. Admit it!"

Ciel looked at Soma with utter distaste and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Soma leaned in. "I didn't hear you."

"Yes...you've earned my respect." he growled under his breath. "Now if you excuse me i'm going to bed." Ciel stood up from his seat.

"Ohhhh no you don't." Soma stopped him in his tracks. "We had a deal here. Take off your shorts and do a little dance for me."

"Emphasis on little." Sebastian snorted in a giggle.

"Like hell i'm gonna do that!" Ciel protested. "You won! That should be enough for you."

"Oh my it seems the young master is running away from a bet." Sebastian teased. "And to think we had this conversation earlier about the prince doing such an action. I never knew my master could be so un honorable." he stated.

Ciel cursed like a sailor. Removing his shorts, and blushing profusely.

"Do the can can." Soma smirked, "And make sure to smile." he added. Making Sebastian crack up with laughter as Agni did his best to not follow his example.

Needless to say Ciel did his dance, and he was glad only certain people were there to see him. But he was rather sure his butler was never going to let him live this down. Learning a lesson in backing down even if it meant getting mocked. For in not doing so his embarrassement was upped ten fold.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Honestly...I did not think I was going to write a strip poker chapter. xD But I saw this post on from Ailia Asuka on who wanted a Ciel Sebastian strip poker fic. Then Fetus said she was gonna write one, and I commented on the topic, and I kinda ended up being the one writing the fic instead of Fetus. XD I hope Fetus still writes one though. I'd love to see her version of it. _

_Also some credit to this chapter does go to Fetus. She wanted Soma to come into play, and win at the poker game. And after abit of thinking and her convincing me. Soma won out. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Because I couldn't write this with a straight face at all XD. Also the gluten part. I couldn't think of what to make granny allergic to. XD So yeah she gets credit for the gluten too._

_On a side note, just one more day of school tomorrow. And all i've got is my french final to do. Atm i'm just hoping I pass my classes. *crosses fingers* But before my final i'm gonna take my Sebastian Taeyang and take some more photos (I took 4 already but had to stop cause a job fair was going on where I was =). I'm hoping to do different poses with him and get him in different areas. But you can see the 4 photos I did take at my Deviantart (i'm Shunhades there) or in the Fanart Section (Yes i'm Shunhades there too). Now I have have to hope nothing is going on to prevent me from taking photos. . _

_Reviews and Comments appreciated._


	27. I just got what for free?

Something New 27

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_I'll explain where this came from at the end. xD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian stretched as he laid on his bed that morning. He was not in the mood to get up, but knew that he had to because he had to work. Sighing when a satisfying pop occurred in his back he sat up. Then twisted his neck until another pop occurred. Last night he'd decided to simply relax by laying in his bed as he'd feel exceedingly sore as of late. A sign his body was maturing. Demon puberty his master would probably call it. Groaning he forced himself to get up and go to his dresser to pull out a fresh pair of clothes, and dragged himself to the bathroom. Today was starting off as a rather blase day. And he wished it was his day off.

"Stupid growth." he muttered. Then stopped just before the wall that at the bathroom door. Attached to this part of the wall was a pencil on a string. Standing with his back to the wall he grabbed the pencil and marked at his head and stepped away. He'd grown half an inch taller in the past year. Upon closer inspection the wall had similiar markings with names under the dashes. Even a few for his master were there. He giggled when he looked at the height markings for his master. Since he'd become his butler his master had only grown half an inch in the past three years. Releasing the pencil he proceeded to enter the bathroom with the set mind of taking a long cool shower. A demon's physical maturity was hard on ones body. Causing them to have what humans called hot flashes, and he was rather sure he was having one that day.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Feeling refreshed Sebastian was raring to get the days work done. He cleaned the whole house, finished cooking the meals, did the laundry and even fixed the dead garden that Finny had made. Now he was preparing the days snack, a chocolate souffle crepe with fresh whipped cream. He was also debating on if he should put a sprig of mint on top, but he was just going to wait til he was finished to see on that one. He was mixing the chocolate when his master had walked into the kitchen.

"Sebastian." he called to his butler. Eying the chocolate the demon was mixing with great interest.

"Yes young master?" he stopped mixing the contents of the bowl.

"We have to go to the pharmacy to pick up granny's medications. Have the carriage ready in thirty minutes."

"Yes my lord." he bowed. Though on the inside he was disappointed. Now he'd have to rush making the souffle crepe or the items would be wasted.

Ciel on the other hand had other ideas. He'd snagged a spoonful of the chocolate from the bowl and licked the spoon. With in moments his facial expression contorted into disgust. Sebastian simply held out a handkerchief to his master with great amusement on his face. Ciel grabbed his and gagged as he wiped the horrible tasting chocolate from his mouth.

"Uhhhhhh it's bitter!" he whined.

"Well of course young master, I haven't put in the ingredients to change the flavor yet." he tried not to laugh. But was failing miserably. "Maybe now you'll learn not to steal food." he giggled some more. His masters expression had been priceless. Ciel scoffed before leaving the kitchen in a huff. Making the demon laugh some more as he finished the dessert.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

They walked down the crowded market in an attempt to get to the pharmacy. It seemed like everyone was having a sale or some sort of special. More than likely to get rid of old stock to bring in some fresh merchandise. Standing as close to his master as possible Sebastian pushed through the crowd until they finally got to their destination. Luckily for them the pharmacy wasn't crowded. Ciel panted as if he'd just run a marathon while Sebastian pulled out a paper from his pocket and walked over to the counter.

"Excuse me. We're here to pick up some medications." he stated politely.

The elderly man took the paper from him and looked it over. "Ahh, i've been expecting you. Please wait a moment, I have your order in the back."

"Thank you." he replied as he watched the man go to the back room. Turning to see his master hunched over and using the wall for support. "Are you alright young master?"

"It's a mad house out there." he panted. "I should of made you come alone." he stated. Making the demon giggle.

"The young master has no stamina for the high crowds." he stated just as the elderly man came back with a box and paper bag.

"Here you go sonny. And here's a little something for you. It's some promotional items we're having for the kiddies about your age." he pushed the items toward Sebastian just as he paid for them.

"Ahh, well thank you." he stated with a light bit of confusion but brushed it off. It wasn't uncommon for the shop keepers to give away freebies.

"Sebastian let's go. I want to get home before dinner."

"Yes my lord." he stated as he held the items in his arms. A smirk on his features as he saw his master prepare himself for the walking war of the century.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

When they got home. Sebastian had placed the brown paper bag in his room on his dresser, then went about to finish the days work. After a while he'd completely forgotten about it.

"Sebastian, i'm gonna go change the wires to the young masters study." Bard stated as he held a coil of wire over his shoulder. "The damn mice got at them again."

Sebastian sighed. "Please do. And make sure to get rid of any mice you find." he order.

"Sir!" Bard saluted before going off to continue in his task.

"Mice again." he sighed. Hearing a meow broke his thoughts however making him look down with a hint of glee. "Oh Fluffy. I'm sorry, are you feeling ignored?" he asked, but as he picked up the cat he blinked a few times. "Fluffy, what have you been eatting?" he asked as he noted Fluffies usually clean mouth was covered in blood and what appeared to be in intestine was hanging out of his mouth. "Have you been helping to get rid of the mice too?" he asked. Receiving a meow in reply. "Good Fluffy." he hugged the cat closer to himself, before pulling out his handkerchief to clean the cats face. "But you really should try to stay clean. And I hope you didn't bring the little bodies into the house. The young master would not be pleased." he stated. Fluffy just seemed to give him a huge smirk as if to state that was indeed what he'd done.

Placing the cat down on the floor he decided to do a final check of the rooms before going down stairs. Fluffy in turn dashed to Granny's room as her door was open. He smiled as saw this and just walked away. He would not venture into granny's room that day. Atleast not unless she called him.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After everything had been completed he'd gone back to his room. He was simply read to take off most of his uniform and lay in his bed with a good book or an art pad to draw on. Pulling off his butlers coat he placed it on a hanger and back into his closet. Taking his watch he placed it on his dresser next to the brown paper bag. Blinking at it for a moment before shrugging. Picking it up he sat on his bed and put it on his lap. For a moment he briefly wondered what was inside of it. But he also knew it was probably something he didn't even need.

Opening it he stuck his hand into the bag and pulled out a few items. One was a flier on a possible get away to a far away place. Next was a small container of tooth paste. And another flier with coupon to get a meal and get a meal free. He blinked at this, then put it off to the side. Next he saw he'd been given some headache medicine, and a small sample of shampoo. "Hmm I guess I could use these." he stated as he placed them off with the other items. Finally he came to a smaller packette, opening it he pulled out the final item.

And laughed his head off.

The final item was apparently a condom sample for the latest product. When he really thought about everything in the long run. It dawned on him that a seemingly innocent package was more of a sex promotion. All it was missing was a comb and some soap. He'd laughed so hard his sides were hurting horribly. But he couldn't stop. The thought that a human had just given him the items necessary for a one night stand had been exceedingly hilarious to him.

Taking many deep breaths, he tried to calm down. But seeing the items on his bed, he failed miserably and ended up laughing some more.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

In the morning he'd taken the brown bag, condom sample, and fliers to be burned. When Bard had seen what he was tossing, he cracked up hysterically when he'd heard the story. Then asked if he could have the items in question because he had a date. Shrugging Sebastian just let him have them and was done with it. Or atleast he thought he was done with it. Apparently his master had other ideas.

"So what was in the bag Sebastian?" Ciel asked as he sipped his tea.

"Oh just some items young master. You wouldn't be interested." he stated. He always did his best to keep his master from finding about such adult things.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Bathroom items. Shampoo, tooth paste. Oh and a flier for a trip. That kind of thing." he kept his eyes averted.

"And..?" he raised a brow. Sebastian was doing a horrible job at keeping whatever else was in the bag hidden.

"A flier on some food." he added.

"Sebastian I order you to tell me what was in the bag!" he became frustrated.

"Young master the items in the bag aren't really suited to one of your age." he stated.

"Are you treating me like a child?"

"Yes...No...Young master the particular item with in the bag is a rather adult thing that I feel you really don't need to know about."

"You are treating me like a child!"

"I'm just trying to keep certain things from your mind until you are older." he stated bluntly, though it was obviously he was vastly amused.

"Sebastian tell me what was in the bag!"

"Does the young master insist on such knowledge?" he asked cutely.

"I do insist! Tell me!" he shouted. His curiosity was peaked with the demons shinanigans.

"Alright but don't say I didn't warn you young master."

"Just tell me you moron!"

"It also came with a condom sample." he bluntly stated, with the largest grin on his face.

Ciel raised a brow at this. "A what now?"

"A condom." he repeated.

"...What...on earth...is a condom?" he asked as if the demon had gone insane.

"It's a tool used when mating so your..." he stopped himself for a moment to think. "special love fluids don't enter your mate to make her pregnant."

Ciel facepalmed himself. "You could of just said sperm you moron. I know what sperm is!"

"I was trying to be subtle." he giggled.

"Try harder next time." he sighed, then blinked. "Wait...there are things...to keep a woman from getting pregnant?"

"Yes my lord." he smiled pleasantly.

"So if an adult doesn't want to have a baby why don't they just not have sex?" he asked.

"Cause sometimes the adults like to still play without something being created."

"...Adults are disgusting." Ciel stated with revoltion.

"I assure you young master that once your of age you'll think very differently."

"No I won't, cause now i'm just hoping i'll be dead by then."

"Aww you think so highly of me young master. To assume the contract will be over before you reach adulthood. What an honor." he cooed.

"Just get out of my office. And the next time we go to the pharmacy, don't accept any promotional give aways."

"Yes my lord. Although..." he started as his master gave him a wary look. "I must admit that that so called sex package was missing a comb and a bar of soap. It had everything except those two items. To promote going on a trip and hinting at such adult things. The least they could of done was provide a comb."

Ciel hit his head on his desk, laughing in hysterics as he covered his head with his arms. Now he'd never be able to go back to the pharmacy without this incident popping into his mind. 'Damn that demon!' he thought as he kept laughing.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I know this was a short chapter, but let me explain where this came from._

_Basically as some of you know i'ma college student, and at our college sometimes at the beginning of the semester when you buy your textbooks or what not they give you a promotional item package or something when you buy something. Like one time I got a free shaver (which is the main one), or a free axe spray (threw that crap away, cause 1 i'm not a guy, and 2 axe to me is digusting), and well one time i'd gotten a few packages of these promotional stuff. So honestly after a few years (yes this was like a year or so ago I think), i'd placed these unopened packages in my closet and kinda forgot about them. xD Moving on maybe a few months ago i'd decided to clean out my closet and got rid of a ton of stuff I didn't want or need anymore. And of course I find these 2 packages from when i'd gotten my text books. My curiousity was peaked because you couldn't really see what was inside unless you opened them, so I decided to open them. xD_

_Inside was yes, coupons for food, information on a vacation spots, shampoo, gum, excederin, and yes. A condom sample. I cracked up hysterically because after i'd thought about it it really did come off as a lame sex packette. xD And I told my friends about it on FB and stated, all it was missing was a comb. Which of course made us crack up even more. See I go to a community college, and their motto is "The best place to start." Now let this sink in for a moment. xD Isn't that hilarious! Of course that phrase is meant for learning, but the getting that packette was not helping with everything. _

_So then I decided to write a chapter of something new with this concept. So this chapter probably isn't the greatest. But honestly in that time period it probably wouldn't of happened anyway. xD If nothing else I hope you all got some amusement out of this chapter. Cause I know...i'm still laughing. XD_

_Reviews and comments appreciated._

_Added Note: Just to clear confusion, believe it or not guys, condoms did actually exist in that time period and even before that. They were just not made of the same materials as today. They were made out of animal intestines (ewww!) and such. Just thought i'd mention that in case anyone else didn't know._


	28. Why are we discussing this again?

Something New 28

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_You guys have Fetusforbrunch to thank for this one...you really do...I probably should not of corrupted her mind. xD LOL...Bad me!_

_I'll also be really honest...this is probably a chapter some people should not be reading. So i'ma just state this. It's not overly mature. It's actually at a teenage level of reading material. Frankly it's something you should be learning in school by now. But i'm atleast going to give this warning even though people will bite my head off later anyway. But I also know I can't stop anyone under the age of 17 from reading this either. So if you do, it's not my fault that you decided to read this chapter. Because i'm not forcing anyone to read this. Thank you._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Frances was in the dining room enjoying a cup of tea along with her breakfast. Skimming the newspaper she read up on the latest fashions, trends, and gossip. Taking a sip she saw there was a rather lovely dress she wanted to buy. So she made a mental note to herself to get one. Edward walked into the room and took a seat infront of an empty plate, which was promptly filled with the days breakfast. "Morning mother." he stated as his plate had an egg with some toast and a light salad placed on it.

"Good morning Edward." she stated without looking up from her paper. "Sleep well?"

"Indeed. It was a rather pleasant night." he stated as he started to put some jam on his toast.

Frances lowered her paper slowly and gave him a strange look. "And what...do you mean by that?" she asked, her eyes seemed to slant even more as she asked her question.

Edward was taken a back by this reaction. "Nothing mother. I simply meant that I was able to sleep rather well last night. It wasn't too hot, nor too cold."

"That better be all that was going on last night." she muttered before going back to reading her paper.

"I haven't the faintest idea as to what your implying mother." he looked confused. He wasn't even sure what she really meant by her statement.

"You know exactly what I mean. Your at that age after all." she stated.

"At that...mother!" he looked mortified. "I can most assure you that I am not bedding with anyone!"

"That I am most certainly aware of. You are a proper noble after all."

"Then...what do you?" he asked confused.

Frances folded her newspaper and set it on the table. Clasping her hands on the table in front of her, "I think this is a discussion that is best saved for later." she stated as Elizabeth had walked into the room. "I expect you both to be ready with in the hour. We're going to visit Ciel and grandmother today." she added as she got out of her seat.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Grandma!" Elizabeth shouted in excitement as she hugged the elderly woman. "I missed you! Have you been well?" she asked.

"Oh yes dearie. I have been very well. Blackie takes wonderful care of me." she smiled.

"Blackie?" Frances raised a brow.

"Yes my dear sweet blackie." Granny stated as she pinched Sebastian's facial cheek. He groaned with embarrassment as she did so. This made Frances snicker. "Oh! Edward!" she opened her arms and gave him a hug. "Oh my how you've grown! The last time I saw you were no taller than a large puppy."

"Grandma." Edward looked embarrassed. He did not like her reference at all.

"And your just like blackie. With such pinchable cheeks." she grabbed at both his facial cheeks and pinched them. This made Sebastian giggle as now he wasn't the only one who suffered granny's pinches. "I think I shall call you whitie. Because your the opposite of blackie." she smiled. That made Sebastian burst in full blow laughter while Frances and the others giggled. Edward just flushed with embarrassment and wished he was somewhere else.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Everyone was enjoying being outside in the nice weather. Ciel with Elizabeth and the other servants were collecting flowers to make flower crowns and necklaces, as was Elizabeths request. Though he originally didn't want to do so, he relented and was now collecting flowers. Sebastian was on the porch with Frances and Edward pouring them tea, while granny had excused herself to use the ladies room.

"Well mother since we are alone for the most part, would you please explain your statement earlier?" he asked.

Frances as sipping the rosemary tea Sebastian had just given her. "Indeed." she agreed.

"Although, I shall have to request that you leave." Edward stated to Sebastian. "This is afterall a rather private conversation."

"Ah I see. Very well." he finished in his task and was preparing to leave, but was stopped.

"No I believe it is better for him to stay." she stated. "After all your both around the same age, and though he maybe a butler I worry he too is doing certain things when given the chance." she looked at him.

Sebastian looked confused at this statement. "Pardon me Marchioness but what do you mean to imply by that?"

"I know very well you both know what I mean."

"No we don't mother that is why we are asking." Edward defended.

Frances sighed, "Very well. I understand that this is a rather personal topic, but I shall be blunt." she placed her teacup on it's saucer. "I hope that you both are not partaking in any...sinful acts of...self love."

"Huhhhh?" Both stated at the same time with great looks of confusion.

"You heard me." she stated.

"Marchioness if I may...are you stating that your against masterbation?" Sebastian asked bluntly. Edward simply looked mortified and blushed heavily.

"Yes. It is a digusting act, and goes against the purity of marriage. Doing such goes against God, and shows that the person is greatly unhappy."

"I simply cannot agree Marchioness. God is not against against masterbation. God's the one who taught me how to masterbate in the first place. And trust me, there are worse sins than masterbation." he stated proudly with the largest grin on his face. Edward, as much as he hadn't meant to, couldn't help but laugh at the demons statement.

Frances simply looked disgusted and more than likely wanted to slap him. "How dare you say such a thing about God! God is for a loving relationship, and masterbation is not apart of that!"

"I disagree, God is fairly open minded and finds masterbation to be a healthy form of release. As a matter of face the bible clearly states, love thy self. As far as i'm concerned that line was left to be interpreted as we see fit. And thus giving the notion that God is pro masterbation." he smiled.

"YOUR A HORRIBLE DISGUSTING CHILD!" Frances stood up from her seat. "How dare you make false claims using the bible as backup for your arguement!"

"I dare much. Considering certain things." he stated. "And besides your quite the hypocrite Marchioness, i'm sure even you in your youth gave yourself some self love." He added.

France sat down promptly and took a sip of her tea. "What I did in my youth will not be brought to the table."

"So you do masterbate." his grin grew. "I knew it!" he pointed at her. "Your such a hypocrite. Lecturing me and your own son when you yourself are conducting what you are calling sinful acts!"

"Mother is this really what you thought I was doing at night?" Edward looked at his mother.

"Your at that age. I wouldn't be surprised." she looked off to the side.

"The Marchioness has surprised me. I never knew she could speak so easily about such vulgar things. I am quite pleasantly pleased." Sebastian stated as he cut some of the dessert he had made to serve it.

"Silence you!" she scoffed at him. "Your one of the reasons I have to worry so much!"

"What do I have to do with this Marchioness? I am just a simple butler after all." he looked perplexed.

"If only that were the case." she muttered.

"Well mother as...embarrassing as it is. I can assure you I have not partaken in such an act." he blushed. "Though the butler has made it obvious he has." he side glanced Sebastian.

"I'll have you both know I have not partaken in anything in a very long while now. But even if I have, it is none of your business. I personally love to masterbate, it makes me happy in multiple ways."

"Ahhh, I do pity you." Edward stated, "But I guess since you are a butler and cannot marry you need some form of outlet. You may never be able to be married after all."

"Nonsense. It would be such a waste not to have him marry." Frances stated. "If anything we probably should be breeding him now to make for some highly capable servants."

"Please do not speak of me as if I were some sort of animal that is only used for breeding. That is highly offensive." he defended himself.

"Us speaking about you getting married is offensive, yet you openly stating how much you love to touch yourself isn't?" Edward looked at him.

"The marriage part isn't what is offensive, so much as it is that you two are apparently plotting to have me wed to simply have me breed future servants. That is highly offending. Should I ever wed, I can most guarantee you both that it would not be to stop giving myself some self love. It would so that not only would she join in, but so that we could take it to new heights."

"...Your just picking on me now aren't you?" Frances pressed her lips.

"Perhaps." he smiled. "But going back on topic, there is nothing wrong with masterbation. Everything masterbates, as we are being watched by God, it is most certainly an enjoyment that God indulges in. God loves to watch us, God watches us do EVERYTHING. And I do mean everything."

"I think masterbation defiles the sancitity of marriage." Edward stated. "It means you do not love your lover."

"That is not true. My parents, and even yours in fact, did such an act and still loved one another quite frequently. In fact most days when I went home I can most assure you that there was a fair amount of self love going on in my house between my parents just before or even during intercourse."

"...How in the world are you even related to them?" Frances asked bluntly. "To think you became a butler with such upbringing...it's rather shocking. It is as if you are the complete opposite of my brother."

"Ah ha, I do not know your brother Marchioness, but I can most assure you that my goals were far different from my parents."

"You poor thing. To think that you honestly believe that you can be happy just because of masterbation...it's rather sad. I feel bad for you." Frances spoke in a softened tone. "The fact that you use God in this just makes me pity you all the more. God is about purity, and the sancitity of marriage. And love between a man and a woman should be sacred. Had I known your childhood had been so displeasant i'd of saved you from such a life to show you how one does not need to resort to such acts." she stated as Edward nodded. "I know i've done things i'm not proud of in my youth, but i've learned from them and it makes me so sad to know that you never had such an opportunity to learn this. Or to even have guidance to show you how to be a proper gentleman."

Sebastian just hung his head, his eyes covered by a shadow.

"Mother I shall promise you now that I will only honor a sacred marriage." Edward stated. "If I must i'll do what I can to show this butler the purity of it. We really must teach him the proper ways of a gentleman though he is a mere butler."

Frances appeared as though she were going to say something more, but Sebastian interrupted her. "You know..." his voice quivered. "That hurts. It hurts to know that you both think I do what I do because i'm unhappy." he looked at him with a serious expression. "I'm not unhappy. I like what I do. I like to masterbate. It's what makes me happy. And you.." he pointed at Frances. "You of all people, who have done what I have done. How dare you say that I am sinning against God just because of it."

Frances was surprised at his statement. "You really feel strongly about this don't you?" she was surprised.

"I do." he emphasized. "And I think it's wrong for you to judge and want to take that away from people. How dare you sit there. And tell me, that what i'm doing is a heavy crime." he looked as though he wanted to cry. "How dare you." he whimpered.

Frances gave a saddened expression and stood up. She gave him a hug and patted him on the back. "I don't know what to say. To think you felt so strongly about this." she stated. Sebastian's shoulders shook heavily and then it dawned on her. He was laughing. She shoved him away immediately "YOUR A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CHILD! To think I felt sorry for you!" she smirked. Sebastian had played her like she was a musical instrument.

"I didn't say I wasn't being serious. But I wouldn't cry over it either." he looked smug.

"That's it, I order you to never touch yourself again!" she pointed at him.

"I do what I want! It's my room!" he responded. This made Edward laugh. Sebastian was apparently enough rebellious teen for both of them.

"My, my, what's going on here?" Granny stated as she came back and took a seat. "Your being so emotional today."

"Nothing granny. The conversation is finished." Frances retook her seat.

"Is not! Granny, the Marchioness is trying to prevent me from touching myself at night!" he stated in a childish voice quite bluntly. "Which is hypocritical because she's done...does it too!"

"How dare you speak of this in front of granny?" Frances looked horrified.

"Now, now, I was young too once." Granny smiled, making Frances calm down. "Besides there's nothing wrong with a bit of self loving."

"Aaahhhwwww..." Edward looked disgusted. "I did not need to hear that." he added while laughing.

"Granny...i'm not cleaning your sheets anymore." Sebastian laughed. He too found the statement rather gross.

Granny just kept the smile on her face, "Don't worry about it sweetie, I actually intend to have some company tonight. So I hope you won't wait up."

"Awwwhhh, Granny, I didn't need to know that." it was now Sebastian's turn to look disgusted.

"I am a healthy woman with certain needs. Just because I am old doesn't mean I don't have certain itches that don't require assistence to be scratched."

"Granny!" Frances looked as though she wanted to die. "Please! Not in front of the children!"

"Oh hush, they are perfectly healthy boys with healthy curiosities."

"Not anymore." Sebastian laughed. "I think i'm tramatized for life." he joked.

"Oh blackie, you are indeed quite the silly one. Just like Vincent. I swear you both could be twins."

"I shall take your word for it granny, as I do not know him." he giggled. Thinking that the lesson he learned was, be it human or demon. Both at younger ages did not like to hear that the older generations did such acts. As both creatures found it rather disgusting and unnerving. Though apart of him did find it a tad sweet. Feeling silly however he decided it was time to take a shot at the Marchioness. "I think tonight I shall partake in playing with myself. And I shall do this with thoughts of the Marchioness on my mind."

"You will not!" Frances shouted at him.

"I will, and there's nothing you can do about it." he snickered. Though a moment later he was running away as she was chasing him in an attempt to clobber him.

"Sebastian! Get back here!" she shouted. But he simply laughed.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I do not think this is what anyone was expecting...I also do not think this is what Fetusforbrunch was expecting, but i'm overall happy with it. xD It was rather difficult trying to type this up without going all out with full blown details. Because trust me. xD I have a horribly corrupt mind in which i've apparently corrupted Fetusforbrunch, in which now she's using to corrupt me...WE'VE STARTED A CYCLE! =D *thumbs up* I also will apologize for taking so long to update my other fics. I've been working on other projects (you'd have to see my DA to know what i'm walking about), and preparing for school (Classes start the 23rd for me blech), and i'm also preparing for AX for next year in advance because I have to make about 2 or 3 cosplays. I shall basically have to fix my Undertaker cosplay because it's now too big on me = (But yay for losing weight), but I'll also be making a Yusei (Yu Gi Oh 5D's) cosplay cosplay, and basically one of the things i'm making is his helmet. Which will be the thing that takes the longest for me to make. Thus why i'm starting on it now. This way if I have to stop for a bit i'll still have time to finish it. Though i've gotten a decent amount of it done. =) _

_Though since I can't work on said helmet at work, i'ma try to work on other chapters for fics while at work as I maybe working a 12 hour shift anyway. But i'll do what I can to update. And seriously I do apologize for taking so long on other fics that haven't been updated in a while. . My mind just can't seem to stick with one fic lately. Which is my fault because I have a hard time turning my mind off when I get such ideas in my head. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, or atleast found it...interesting. xD LOL. Basically this idea came from a video Fetusforbrunch showed me about a woman who is apparently trying to promote an anti masterbastion campaign. The woman's navitivity frankly made me lawl. Sorry but doctors have already proven (And I apologize if this grosses anyone out) that masterbation is not only pleasurable but in fact healthy and prevents certain things. It's okay if your against it, but frankly don't go around judging others and say they are sinning because they do do it. Because as I put in the fic. It's not written in any form of religious books, scripts, etc..that masterbation is bad. So don't go around using religion as an excuse. It's only a matter of opinion, religion has NOTHING to do with it. And trust me, I do have some religious aspects in my life. But I don't go around using it as some lame excuse either, nor do I force my views on anyone. Well I guess that's all I have to say for now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I do not mean to._

_Reviews and comments appreciated. _


	29. I should of known

Something New 4

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_If we go by the manga cellphones apparently exist. (As well as a "Nintendo" though they call it Ninkyodo lol." So in case anyone is like, "WHAT THAT WASN'T IN THE TIME PERIOD? YOU STUPID BLOCK HEAD FEMALE HEERO YUY!" *Bangs me on the head with a sharp pointy object*, please do keep in mind the manga has these things. But i'm adding to the cell phone xD...because I can (Though truthfully i'm not sure what their cell phones can do). _

_I also want to thank everyone who's reviewed up until this point, it's greatly appreciated, and I hope to continue to meet all of your expectations with this chapter._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Cleaning this house is such a pain at times. Dust collected in massive piles if you let it set for even so much as a few days. So cleaning everyday was a must. Sebastian was dusting all the various books in the library. He'd never tell Ciel but it was his favorite room inside the manor. While everyone was a sleep, he'd go in there at night and read to his hearts content until he had to perform his usual duties when he wasn't taking the time to sleep. He loved reading at night. It meant no interruptions from the other servants, except Tanaka occastionally and most of the time he went right to sleep.

"My my it seems soon we'll be in need of some new literature." he stated as he went over each title carefully. Some books he'd read a dozen times or more during his time in the house. He'd be thrilled if Ciel let him have his own small library in his own room. And he probably would infact as Ciel unlike other masters really could care less as long as his work got done. But it'd be above his station to have his own set of books in his room. Atleast, that's what he thought anyway. He really couldn't be sure about it.

If someone went to all the houses in England for every noble, they'd probably find the Phantomhive servants were indeed very spoiled compared to the rest. Their clothes were far more expensive than standard, Sebastian's alone costed over 100 pounds. And that didn't include his watch or pin. And as simple as the others outfits seemed to be, they were infact enough to get a home a good meal for a week with just one outfit. Everything was provided for them out of the expense of the Phantomhive income. Though they were to receive checks, they seemed far more content simply asking rather than receiving actual pay. A rather strange thing for a noble house. Maylene, Bard and Finni constantly worried about their jobs, but infact even if they were to get fired, Ciel would probably give them their dues since he added it up. They hardly spent a penny of their own money. So Ciel had taken to having books to do the math. Sebastian at one time had looked at it and smirked when he'd seen his master doing such a thing.

It seemed he wasn't sure how good they were with money, but turned out they weren't bad at it at all. Sebastian and Tanaka had no such worries thus Ciel never made an income book for either. Though Sebastian was getting paid on top of his payment for his contract.

Sebastian walked around as he secretly was selecting his next book for the evening. His master hated it when he read some of the newer books before he did, so he usually had to read them in secret before his master knew. He sighed, "My we really are in dire need of some new literature." he mumbled to himself. Not finding anything interesting in the least. He jumped slightly as he sensed someone was at the door. "A guest so early?" he questioned as he went to see who it could be so early in the morning. He figured it'd be Lau or possibly even Ciel's Aunt Frances as they were the only two who would come without sending so much as a letter before hand. Opening the door he was abit surprised at whom was at the door. It was the post man. But not any post man. No this post man obviously wasn't even human as he fluttered with his tiny bat wings in the air.

"Can I help you?" Sebastian asked in a calm voice. He'd never expected a demon post man to come to the human world.

"Package for Sebastian Michaelis." he said as he fluttered about. He was rather small, only two feet in height and looked very much like a centaur with wings. His dark purple coloring hued with crimson made him seem like he was a toy rather than a demon.

"Ah...a package for me? I wonder who could of sent it?" he pondered as he opened the door abit more.

"Stamp here please." it said, holding out a clipboard with the sending information and a empty square box in the bottom right corner that was clearly meant for the stamp.

Sebastian dug through his pockets for a moment. Then pulled out a small stick from his pants pocket and stamped the paper. When it was removed his stamped was shown to be the symbol of the seal of his and Ciel's contract.

"Thank you very much." it stated as it handed Sebastian black box that was about the size of a small cake box. And with that he disappeared with a puff of smoke.

Sebastian closed the door and looked at his package. He turned it in random ways looking for the indication of who sent it. But found none. Demons were notorious for sending pranks through the mail to other demons for a laugh just to pass their boredom. So he was abit skeptical on opening it. Taking it to his room he set it down on his table and stared at it for a brief moment. He was weighing his options in his mind. 'If I open it there could be trouble within it...but on the other hand if someone took the time to actually send it to the human world it must be important.' he thought.

"Alright, i'll open it slowly." he finally decided. He couldn't take anymore time on it, less Ciel's snack be delayed. Peeling the black tape from the box from the top he opened it and cautiously looked inside. He gasped at the contents within. "Oh...my.."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel was very aggitated. Sebastian was a good four minutes late with his snack. And he hated it when his snacks were late. A knock came to the door. "Come in." he said in a calm voice.

"Forgive me young master, i'm late with your snack." he stated as he pushed the cart into the room.

Ciel clicked his tongue. "Don't let it happen again."

"I understand." he bowed, the proceeded to cut the dessert to serve. It was a strawberry cream pie, with light strawberry puree. He placed it before Ciel as he started working on fixing the tea.

Everything seemed to be going fine. Until two minutes, which was usually how long it took Sebastian to serve him his tea, turned into five minutes, five minutes turned into ten. Finally Ciel looked over, he could only see Sebastian's back, but his right arm seemed to be moving. "What's taking so long? Hurry up and serve me some tea."

Sebastian jump abit as if he'd forgotten what he was doing. Without turning around, "Yes my lord." Ciel found this to be very rude. Even for Sebastian. Finally he was given his tea, but it was luke warm. Not done to perfection as Sebastian norminally did it. And there was hardly any scent or flavor to it.

Ciel looked at Sebastian ready to complain, but again his back was turned. And his right arm moving again. "SEBASTIAN!" he growled. Making the demon break his concentration on whatever else he was doing.

"Ah forgive me young master it seems I was distracted."

"I can see that, what on earth has you so distracted." he raised a brow.

Sebastian gave him a look as if he had to think about what was distracting him from his work. Scratching his cheek he averted his gaze from Ciel, making it obvious he didn't want to say.

Ciel grew frustrated and decided to take matters into his own hands. Whatever was distracting him he was currently hiding behind his back. "Give it to me!" he shouted.

"I can explain!" Sebastian finally said as he held up his arm to keep the item in question out of his master's reach.

"You haven't until this point, let me see it!" Ciel tried to reach, but the height difference made it impossible for him to get it.

Sebastian suddenly looked at his hand, "Ah! I got another message!" he stated then suddenly brought it to his face, as if he'd forgotten he was trying to keep it from his master. Ciel got a good look at the item though. It was a cellphone. But obviously not one from any stores he'd seen.

"WHEN DID YOU GET A CELL PHONE?" he shouted in anger. When he wanted one Sebastian had stated it was unneeded as he was able to sense when Ciel needed him. But here he was with his own.

Sebastian looked at Ciel sheepishly. "This...morning." he stated as he smiled hesitantly.

"Your such a hypocrite! You said it wasn't needed and too expensive to even consider one! And here you are with one!"

"Ah..but I didn't even purchase mine. It was a gift sent to me air mail." he said calmly as he started clicking the keys again on his phone.

Ciel wasn't sure what he was doing, as he'd seen the cell phones in the shops, all you could do with them was make phone calls. The service was highly expensive, so it was much cheaper to have a house phone instead. But he saw an opportunity, and snagged it while Sebastian was clicking the keys.

"Ahhh! My phone!" Sebastian shouted unlike himself as he tried getting his back.

Ciel was looking at what he was doing. Now that he had it in his hands he could clearly see how different it was compared to the ones he'd seen. It had a colored screen, with a picture of a black cat on it. As he was looking a message popped up that stated, you've got a message. "A message? How can a phone get a message?" he mumbled as he wondered how he was supposed to open it. "What kind of phone is this?" he asked.

"It's a cell phone from my world young master." he replied, giving up on snagging his phone back for the moment.

"Your world has cell phones?" he raised a brow as he looked it over. It definately looked out of the human world. It was smaller than the smallest ones for sale. Shiney, smooth, and the screen alone showed how different it was. "What's this?" he pointed at the screen.

"That shows how good of a signal is reaching the phone."

"And this?"

Sebastian looked to see what he mean. "Battery power."

"How can a phone receive messages?" he asked again, but this time he expected an answer.

"Oh..right...humans don't have text messaging on their cell phones." Sebastian stated as he grabbed his phone back. He started clicking away on his keys, obviously texting back whom ever texted him.

"Text messaging?" Ciel watched in interest.

Sebastian nodded, "Its like sending mail through the post, but you don't have to wait as long or buy a stamp." he replied. Then flipped his phone shut and put it in his pocket.

"...In any case if it interferes with your work again, i'm going to take it away. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Over the next few days Sebastian's phone hadn't been much of an issue. But Ciel could clearly see it kept his attention constantly, as when he'd get a message he wanted to answer it immediately. Once it went off while he was having his supper. It annoyed him to no end when his meal was disturbed. But Sebastian merely apologized and took his phone out, stated he was putting it on silent. Though it was obvious he was texting back the person as well.

He really wanted to know who this person was that Sebastian just had to text back all the time. But when he'd asked Sebastian would state there was something that he needed to do and run off. So today he'd called him to his office to do what he promised.

"Sebastian give me your phone." Ciel stated with the utmost seriousness.

"Young master that's..."

"I told you if it interfered with your work I was going to confiscate it. Now give it!" he held out his hand.

His expression was the same one he'd given Ciel when he wanted to keep the cat from the Rip Van Winkle case. Utter disappointment. Hesitantly he handed Ciel his phone and watched as Ciel put it into his desk drawer. "You may go."

But Sebastian didn't go, infact he did the complete opposite, he'd apparently moved so fast that Ciel hadn't seen him move and was now knelt by the drawer where he put the phone, almost as if he was wishing the drawer would give it back. He hands were up against it as if he was keeping it shut himself.

"Your addicted." he stated in shock as he watched his butler's movements from his side.

Sebastian looked at him as if to call him a liar, "I am not!"

"Yes you are, look at yourself, you can't even go five feet away from the thing."

Getting up he made like he was dusting himself off. "I'll prove to you i'm not addicted." he snubbed then started walking towards the door. And for a moment Ciel thought he could finally get some work done as he rubbed at his eyes for a minute. But jumped in surprised when he looked at his side again and Sebastian was back in his original position.

"Sebastian! Get back to work!" he shouted in frustration.

Sebastian turned at him with teary eyes, and whimpered. Making Ciel lean away in shock. Then he freaked out for a moment when Sebastian grabbed at his waist and hugged him. "Pleeeeeaaaasssssseeeee give it baaaaacccckkk! I promise I won't use it during the day!" he looked up at Ciel with puppy dog eyes, and pouty lips.

Ciel let his arms fall limply at his sides as he sighed. "Your not going to die if I hold onto it for the day."

"But if I don't stay in constant contact, they'll get suspicious." Sebastian responded but wouldn't let go even for a second.

This caught Ciel's attention immediately. "Who?"

"...My...my...mummethivis." he mumbled the last part incoherently.

"Your what?"

"My former classmates." he repeated this time so it was understandable.

"Whaa?"

"Well technicially they aren't former classmates as we're all still technically classmates, but that's who i'm pretty much being in contact with."

Ciel blinked then opened the draw with haste, " I wanna read those messages!" he shouted as he flipped open the phone and tried to figure out how to use it.

"Ahhh nooo! Those are private!" he tried to reach for it.

But it only made Ciel want to read them more, and he'd finally figure out how to get to the message box and started reading the texts aloud. "from:imasexydemon; have you seen the new hu man movie? It was awesome! reply from:i'mjustademonandabutler; no i'm under a contract so I can't go, lame! =(; from:i'mbetterthanahuman; how old is your master anyway?; reply from:i'mjustademonandabutler; in human years he's only 13.; from:i'mbetterthanahuman; ahahahaha sux to be you!; reply from:i'mjustademonandabutler; atleast I don't live with my parents retard. ={; from:i'mbetterthanahuman: ouch you kiss your mother with that mouth?; reply from: i'mjustademonandabutler: atleast I have a mouth to kiss her with homo.; from: i'mbetterthanahuman: hey i'll have you know not having a mouth has benefits!; from: imasexydemon; is Julley giving you crap again? Man he's lame!; reply from: i'mjustademonandabutler: yeah he just lost 10 cool points.; from: imasexydemon: haha!...Sebastian! What in the world?" he questioned, though he had to admit he was highly dissapointed at the messages. He thought they'd be more demonic and evil like. And his way of speaking in text seemed out of the ordinary too.

Sebastian smiled as if he was embarrassed, and snatched his phone back quickly, "What's wrong master? Not what you were expecting?"

"I have to admit i'm disappointed. And why does everyone's names start with I'm?"

"Lack of creativity?"

He glared at Sebastian hard, now that he'd seen the messages on the phone he wanted one...badly. How could he let his own butler have something that he didn't even have? "Sebastian I want a cellphone." he stated like nothing had even transpired.

"But young master who are you even going to call with it? It's pointless for you to even have one. And further more.." he was cut off.

"And I want one from your world." he continued.

He stared at his master for a moment. A human with a cell phone from his world? Even he'd never heard such a thing. Compared to humans and even death gods, Demon's were pretty technilogically advanced while at the same time maintaining an image of the current time...to a point. Whatever humans had demon's had a better version of it. He sighed, "I understand."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Within a few days Ciel now had a blue version of Sebastian's phone. After alot of instructions he'd finally gotten the hang of it. And found he even enjoyed sending messages. Though he only had one person to send messages to.

":To: i'mjustademonandabutler: Where's my tea?"

Sebastian's phone started it's tune as he received the message, he opened his phone. "From: i'mjustademonandabutler'smaster: Where's my tea?" He sighed as he read it and sent a reply.

Ciel picked his phone up when it made a sound indicating he got a message. "From: i'mademonandabutler: I'm almost to your office young master." after he'd read it, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." he stated.

"Young master there's really no need for you to message me when I was only down the hall." he stated as he pour Ciel a cup of tea.

"I know, but I felt like it." he replied as he sipped his tea once he'd received it.

Sebastian gave him an awkward look. 'And to think you stated I was bad?' he thought as he put the cup before his master.

"Sebastian what's this?" Ciel pointed on his phone. It was one of the application programs on the phone.

"That would be the application to show how many messages you sent or received."

Ciel clicked it to open it, "I have 2 sent and 1 received..." he muttered. Agonizingly pathetic in his eyes. "How many have you done?" he asked after.

Sebastian started sweating a little. "Young master I don't really..." he stumbled on his words.

"Let me see." he said sternly.

"I don't think you..." he got cut off again.

"Sebastian this is an order let me see your phone." he held out his hand.

Sebastian gawked and slowly put his phone in Ciel's hand in defeat and waiting for the impending...

"YOU'VE SENT OVER 2 MILLION MESSAGES IN THE COURSE OF A FEW DAYS?" Ciel shouted in complete shock. He just couldn't believe someone could send so many in such a short time period. Where there even enough hours in a day to send a partial of that amount? Ciel's face twisted as he kept reading, "How?...How..? How on earth do you..? No...nevermind don't answer..."

"Young master if you'd allow me to explain, I..."

"I need to see how many contacts you have..." he hastily stated and clicked some keys. Obviously scrolling down Sebastian's contact list. "Why aren't I the first one on your list? I'm your master! I should be the number one person on your list!"

"Ummmm because your name starts with c?" he replied with abit of worry. Ciel was still scrolling down his phone list. He could see Ciel's eyes widened the longer he kept going down the list.

"...I don't even think I know over 700 people, even if I included the people I only know from history." he mumbled after.

"Well..I am a demon after all master." he sheepishly smiled. Though by demon standards Sebastian's list would of made him an amateur idol.

"Do you seriously expect me to believe these are all your friends?"

"Not all."

Ciel smiled for a moment thinking Sebastian was just adding people to his phone list.

"I still have other numbers I have to put in. But I only have a limited amount of time at night to do it. So it's taking me a bit of time to do it." he said casually as if he were talking about the weather. "But if i'm lucky they will message me and i'll only have to save it."

Ciel went into such a shock that he lost all his color for a moment.

Sebastian took this opportunity to slip his phone from Ciel's fingers gently. Closing his phone list it showed a picture of a black cat on the screen with flowers surrounding it. His eyes glittered for a moment as he looked at it with a joyus look. "Ahhhhh how I wish to see you right now." he said with a heavenly sigh. His other hand resting on his cheek as he looked at it continuiously.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"From: VampireHalfling: Hey! Hey! Are Acai and Sept minor?" was the message on Sebastian's phone. "To: VampireHalfling: Yeah, majorly. They are so underloved!" he messaged back. Then turned off his phone and placed it in his pocket. Getting back to his work he continued his cleaning duties. When he heard a knock on the window. Blinking he walked up to it and opened it. It was the delivery demon from before.

"Mail call." it said.

"Ah..thank you." Sebastian replied as he took the envelope and tipped the creature a gold coin that wasn't of human currency.

"Thank thee." it said before it fluttered away.

Leaving the window open Sebastian opened the letter. Though he found it wasn't a letter but a bill, scrolling over the contents he put it back when he was finished to deal with it later and left it on the end table. He left the room soon after he was done cleaning leaving it behind.

Ciel came in not moments after. "Sebas..." he started but saw the demon wasn't in the room. He turned to leave when he saw the envelope on the table. He found it very pecuiliar as he was very sure the post hadn't come yet. Thinking it was some old mail from a prior date he picked it up and took out the contents. His eyes buldged when he saw the contents of the pages. "EEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH?" he shouted. Making Sebastian return hastily.

"What's wrong young master?"

Ciel turned at Sebastian with utter surprise and shock mixed into his face. "What in the world is this?" he shouted stunned.

Sebastian looked at Ciel's hands, "That would be a bill young master."

His eye twitched in annoyance. "I know that stupid! What I wanna know is where did it come from?"

"...You didn't think it was free did you? I seem to recall stating to you that it costs money for a cell phone."

"Not that you twit! I'm aware it costs money for a cell phone!" he held the page up as close as he could to Sebastian's face. "This is what I want to know!"

"Hmmmm...That's my number and a list of things i've done." he skimmed abit over the page. He's only read the amount and the due date when he'd initially looked at it.

Ciel's expression turned into anger, "I understand that! But how does someone even have the time to send over 5000000 messages in a two week time period!"

"...I'm dedicated?" Sebastian responded with a smile that looked abit puzzled.

Ciel gave him a wary look. "Face it your obessed."

"I am not." he snubbed as he picked up the papers and placed them in his pocket. "Your just upset because i'm the only one you have to text with."

"So your saying i'm jealous?"

"Indeed. Very much so." he took out his phone to send another text.

Ciel shook in anger at that point. Without realizing it he snagged the demons phone and threw it to the ground in one fell swoop. Sebastian was exceedingly shocked at such behavior and couldn't even utter a sound at such a display. After Ciel had done this, it'd taken him a few moments to realize what he'd just done. "Uhh...I..." he blushed with embarrassment. He couldn't believe that he'd reacted so irrationally over a simple set of words.

Nothing was ever said after that.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After a few days. Ciel had felt horrible about what he'd done. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he had been rather jealous. He still couldn't believe how he reacted over such a small device. Sebastian came into the room with his days snack. Not stating anything. "Sebastian..." he started.

"Yes young master?" he turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry." he kept his face hung low in shame. "I overreacted. I shouldn't of broken your phone. I'm sorry."

"It's alright young master." he smiled as he placed the slice of cake in front of him. "I am at fault as well. Let us put it behind us and move on." Ciel simply nodded before taking a bite of his cake. Sebastian served him his tea and left him alone. Once he was in the hall, he pulled out something from his pocket. "Honestly the young master is quite the child at times." he muttered to himself. He had gotten a new cellphone and was texting. "Oh well. Atleast because of it I got to get the newest phone available." he smiled. Learning that if sometimes manipulating your master could benefit you. Especially if you wanted a brand new item.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_If parts of this seem off, it's probably because the vast majority of it was written over a year ago. xD I was looking it over today, to try to make sure it flowed properly. Honestly i'd kinda forgotten about it until in part of a conversation with theamazingfetus it reminded me of it. xD This was originally gonna be chapter 4 (yes that far back), but then I decided it was too soon to use it. . lol. Let me know what you think._

_Reviews and comments appreciated._


	30. NOOOO WHY!

Something New 30

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He'd been waiting for this day. Waiting so expectantly that he was practically going insane. He always got anxious when it was only a few moments til it was time. And now. Here it was. Sebastian sat in front of the tv, and switched it on, ready to enjoy the new episode of Detective Kitty. He'd been watching it religiously since it came out. And a new episode aired every Sunday at three pm. He couldn't wait for the new episode. What new mystery would Detective Kitty have to solve today? He didn't know. But he was greatly anticipating it.

"We're sorry to inform you that the new episode of Detective Kitty will not be airing today due to the olympics. Please stay tuned." was flashed on the screen. Sebastian looked at those words in horror as if hell itself had risen up and swallowed the world.

"Umm...okay..." he pouted. "Another week won't hurt me right? That'll just make it all the more fun." he laughed in disappointment. Then whimpered as he turned off the tv. "Stupid idiot box." he muttered as he got up to find something productive to do. It was his day off, so he didn't really have anything planned for the moment. "I guess I shall go and do the laundry." he sighed after he thought about for a moment. Already dreading this day.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The next day he felt rather chipper. He got to play with the cat in the garden for ten whole minutes before someone interrupted him. A whole minute longer than usual. So he was feeling rather pleased. But still disappointed that the new episode of Detective Kitty was postponed.

"Sebastian!" Ciel yelled from his study.

"You called young master?" he entered, he was only a few feet from the door.

"Are you ready yet? I'd like to get the shopping done sometime today." he frowned in distaste.

"Young master i've been ready since six am. I was simply waiting for you to be ready." he smiled.

He blinked a few times and got off his seat. "Well next time say so sooner. Idiot." he muttered as he walked past him.

"Mew! Mew!" Fluffy pawed at his pant leg in an attempt to get his attention.

"Awww what's the matter Fluffy? Do you want to come too?" he cooed, as he picked him up.

"YOUR NOT BRINGING THE CAT!" came the shout from the hall.

Fluffy just kept pawing at him. "Awwww. Poor Fluffy. I'm sorry, but I shall definately bring you a treat alright?" he put him down. But Fluffy just seemed more intent on trying to get him to understand.

"Mew!" he howled as he climbed up Sebastian's pants and up his coat until he was quite litterally in his face. "Mew!"

"Young master I do believe Fluffy is trying to tell me something." he held him in his arms.

Ciel came back into his office. "Leave him. He probably just wants some catnip or something."

"Yes my lord." he bowed as he yet again put Fluffy on the floor. Both proceeded to go shopping, and all seemed fine until Sebastian opened the front door. "I heard something." he looked around.

Ciel was getting aggrivated, "Fine, go find out what it is." he waved him off. "And be quick about it!"

He bowed and ran in the direction of the sound. Soon realizing it was coming from the garden with she would usually be. After a few minutes of searching, he found her in a crawl space under the stairs. Fluffy joined in not even a moment after he'd peaked in. He tilted his head in confusion as he didn't understand. Until he saw it.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel heard what could only be described as the louded squeal he'd ever heard in all his life. Running in the direction Sebastian had gone, he'd found his butler...or atleast part of him...the lower half of him to be exact. Under the stairs. "What happened?"

Sebastian came out and looked at him with the largest grin on his face. "KITTENS!" he squealed. "SHE HAD KITTENS! AND THEIR FLOOFY!" he pointed into the crawl space.

"OH GOD!" he smacked himself in the face. The outcome he'd been praying that wouldn't happen had happened. "I knew she was pregnant. I knew she was." he muttered to himself.

"They're so tiny!" he cooed. "Young master, can we keep them? Please!" he pleaded.

"No!" he shouted in annoyance. Sebastian pouted at him as he was trying to get him to change his mind.

"Oh my, oh my, what is going on here?" Granny asked as she walked down the steps. "It's so lively compared to yesterday."

"Granny..." he did in his adorable voice. "Can we keep the kittens?" he asked with his best puppy dog face.

"Kittens?" she seemed confused. Atleast until Sebastian was pointing to an opening, then she noticed there were indeed kittens. "Oh my." she smiled. "It seems new life has come to the manor."

"Can we keep them?" he asked again.

"No. I've ready put my foot down. I am the master and I say no." Ciel put his foot down.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He grumbled in his seat as his butler was running around the petstore grabbing things the new arrivals would need. A cat bed, meal dishes, bottles in case he needed to help feed them, formula, and more. "Sebastian we are not getting them a playground!" he shouted as he noted the demon was holding a rather large box that held a kitty playground inside.

"But they need it." he looked at him cutely. "Or they won't get enough exercise."

"Uuuggghh!" he shreeked. "AND WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOING THROUGH GRANNY TO GO OVER MY AUTHORITY!" he glared at his butler.

Sebastian just smirked. "Nothing. Not a thing." he stated. Obviously using the fact as an advantage, even as he paid for the mountain of kitty items. "I'm gonna name the white one coconut!" he stated with glee.

"DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

After all the shopping was done, he watched the kittens drink milk from their mother. "Hey now, don't drink so fast or you'll get a tummy ache." he became flushed. The family of cats had been moved into a tiny pet house he'd built for them and put at the corner of the stairs. Inside was a cushion of the highest quality to keep them comfortable. "Ahhh...you look just like Detective Kitty's assistent." he eyed a grey kitten. "I think i'll name you Tuna. Just like his assistent." he muttered. Then frowned. "Detective Kitty." he whimpered. "Why did you have to be postponed? I was looking forward to the latest episode too."

Standing up he dusted his pants off and stretched. "Ahh..oh well. Atleast this was a nice way to start the week. Right Fluffy?" he faced the hairless cat that was sitting by the door to the little house. Obviously looking very proud of himself as he squished his tail. "Well I have to get going now before the young master realizes i'm not in the house. Make sure to watch your babies properly Fluffy." he waved at them.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The rest of the day had been hell. The Marchioness had arrived unexpectedly. Lectured the staff on how to actually be proper staff. Some dishes were destroyed due to Maylene walking into the food cart. Which he got yelled at for. Then the next day the post had apparently tossed a very important package that his master was waiting for and yet again it was somehow magically his fault. Though he didn't see how. And the contents were apparently completely destroyed. A pipe had burst thus making it to where the manor didn't have water for a whole hour. And even still it seemed like hell had entered the manor. By the end of it all he'd done so many repairs that he was ready to just hammer all the other servants to the walls just so they wouldn't destroy the house anymore.

Ahhhh...he really could of used an episode of Detective Kitty right then and there, he whimpered.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It seemed like the week passed slowly, but it was finally there. The day he'd been waiting for. And he'd prepared well. A parfait of chocolate and fresh raspberries and cream. Jackson's Earl Grey tea to complement the flavor of the parfait. Freshly baked linzer tarts intracetly placed on a plate on top of some lace to add to the mood. And the co de gra! A bowl of freshly made ice cream made from the freshest cream and the best vanilla to make it rich in flavor. A sprig of mint to garnish it lovingly. He had this set placed before the television as he sat before it on a sitting pillow and turned the tv on. Anticipating the long awaited episode of Detective Kitty.

And then...

It happened...

"We're sorry to inform you that due to the holiday Detective Kitty will postponed. Please enjoy the movie for the festivities." flashed on the screen.

Sebastian dropped the spoon that had a but a mere spoonful of his homemade ice cream and sulked. "WHYYYYY? WHY?" he whimpered with tears streaming down his face. He'd even done the laundry early just so he'd have no chores to do after the latest episode of Detective Kitty! Such was a cruel fate that after the sports season would be a holiday! In despair he ate his ice cream in anquish, not savoring it as he intended initially. "The world is so cruel!" he cried as the movie started. Though he wasn't paying any attention to it.

"AAAHH! It's the holiday special!" Finny sat beside him, completely oblivious to Sebastian's plight. "I've been waiting to see this all day." he smiled.

Sebastian merely sniffled as he continued to eat the snack he'd prepared earlier. "It's so unfair." he continued to whimper. "This is punishment. Cruel and unusual punishment."

"Sebastian..." Finny started cutely, "Can...can I have the parfait if you aren't going to eat it?" he asked with a finger to his lips. Sebastian just picked it up and handed it to him, without even so much as looking at him. "Yay!" he cheered and proceeded to eat it. "It's good!"

"Uhh...today sucks." he spoke barely above a whisper in gloom.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I don't know about the rest of you. But this has happened to me in the past month. T.T *sniffle sniffle* On December 24 I was greatly anticipating the latest episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is magic *watches this shamelessly*, and it was cancelled due to it being Christmas. (Though the episode on the 17th would of been perfect for that day...just saying. . AND I FOUND ALL THE DERPY! WOOT! ^.^) So of course my week goes by, and i'm happy cause it's been kinda slow at work due to the holidays, which makes me happy cause I hate dealing with alot of people (which by irony is what I have to deal with at work . I miss having pure graveyard!) *On average deals with over 100 people a day*. But of course I was disappointed, but happy at the same time cause I got my new BJD o3o. A Schuster Fei Egyptian HZDoll! *huggles him to death* He's so small compared to my D BJD. (Vampire Hunter D to clarify) xD But I love him sooo much! *huggles him some more along with D and Sebastian (Taeyang)* So finally this past Saturday I was of course hoping for the newest episode to come out._

_T.T And again I was twarted. *sulks in her emo corner and whimpers* No My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for the FHY/Shunhades. *bawls in anquish!* So now i'm just hoping that it doesn't get cancelled this week =. I really could use the episode right about now, cause i've been looking for Lefty (Vampire Hunter D character. Parasite in D's lefthand whom the fans lovingly call Lefty or LeftHand), and I can't find him. = I don't remember where I put him. I just know when I put him away my thought was I didn't want him to get broken. . Which is now working against me! *cries* I shall continue to look for him and hope I find him soon. Cause I ordered the proper wrist joints for him so I could put him on D, and I wanted to do his blushing. (Did D's faceup recently, pictures on DA)._

_Ahhhh...Such a crappy 2 weeks! . (Well...sorta. I did find the receipts I was looking for for when I do my taxes . *cough*)_

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I will continue to try to update as soon as possible. On another note. YAY FRANCES WAS FINALLY UPDATED WHICH MEANS SOON I WILL BE POSTED MY FRANCES FIC! o3o_

_Reviews and comments appreciated. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas and Happy New Year._


	31. It returned!

Something New 31

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

_Yes this done kinda come from the Rainbow Kuroshitsuji book. xD But it's my own version._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Today had started as a pretty good day. He fed the kittens. Helped granny with her yarns so she could knit. For once the other servants hadn't destroyed anything...yet. He was sure in the next hour that would change. The weather wasn't too hot, nor too cold. He had to say all was right in his world. Even his young master was in his office doing his homework. And he didn't even have to force him to do it like usual. He briefly wondered if hell had frozen over, because things were just being far too calm. Yes. He loved it when it was calm. But too calm meant something was going to happen.

A knock sounded at the front door. Walking over he opened it to see who it was. He could swear his heart and stomach dropped when he saw the visitor.

"Looking unruly as usual I see." Frances stated as she walked into the house, without even waiting for him to invite her in. Passing something off to him in the process without missing a beat. "But you'll have to do. Here are the diaper's, the bottles, pacifiers, a children's book as i'm sure you don't have one in this house. Some blankets, and instructions."

"Marchioness, what are you talking about?" he looked at her in confusion. Then realized what he was holding was moving. Curiously he lifted the sheet, and realized it was a baby.

"I'm highly busy today, but Clare had asked me to watch Samantha. Unfortunately my duties do not allow me to bring a child with me, so you will watch her until I am finished." she stated bluntly. "Seeing as how you are the child's godfather, I thought it would be best if you watched her."

"WHAT?" his eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Since when have I have been this child's godfather?"

"Clare decided on it after you helped with the birth." she stepped towards the front door. "In anycase you have all that you need, i'll see you at promphtly six o clock this evening. Take care." she left with no hesitation.

He held the baby at an arms length away from himself with only one thought in mind. Yeap, it had definately been far too calm today.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Oh Blackie, I wasn't aware you had a baby." Granny smiled as she watched him pour the tea with a baby strapped to his back.

"I don't." he sweated. "I'm just watching her until either the Marchioness or her mother returns."

"Oh how very nice of you." she smiled. Not really taking the hint that he wasn't doing it willingly. "What's the little darlings name?"

"Samantha." he replied as he placed the cup before her. "Apparently her mother also decided that I was to be her godfather."

"Wonderful!" she clasped her hands in delight. "It must be such an honor to be the godparent of such an adorable child."

"Not really." he side glanced. He was fairly sure alot of other demons would laugh in hysterics if they ever found out he was the godfather of a human child. He only hoped none that he knew were nearby, or it'd be one long eternity after this contract was over. He briefly wondered if it was too late to back out of it or not. Unfortunately for him, it was. "Is there anything else you require granny?" he asked pleasantly.

"Yes dear. I'd like you to smile. You know I hate it when you don't smile. It makes it seem like your depressed."

He put on a fake smile. 'But I am depressed, I got conned into babysitting.' he thought to himself.

"That's better. Now go and have fun."

"Yes granny."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel blinked several times as he stared at his butler, one part of him was confused, the other was greatly amused. "Isn't that the baby you helped deliver?" he asked.

"Yes." came the response. Clearly the demon was aggitated as Samantha had taken to tugging on his longer locks of hair. Which obviously was not making him very pleased.

"And you have her because...?" he started to snicker.

"Because the Marchioness stopped by and requested I watch her for a while." he tried to make the baby stop pulling on his hair.

"I see." he was trying really hard not to laugh, but was failing miserably. Obviously Sebastian was not finding the baby very cute. "Umm...did she just pee?" he asked when he saw the demon suddenly cringe in horror.

"I...think so..." he managed to get out, feeling suddenly wet at his back.

That's where Ciel lost it, and started laughing hysterically. "She marked her territory!" he got out as he kept laughing.

"It's not that funny!" he defended as he unstrapped the baby from his back and held her away from himself. Making a note to soak his clothes in vinegar for a long time after he changed.

"Yes it is!" he pounded on his desk as he face was on it. This made the demon growl as he carried her out of the room so he could clean them up. Once he got to the bathroom, he prepared a bath for her and put her in, then removed his coat with a sigh. "If you had to urinate you should of just told me!" he stated to her with his hands on his hips. Samantha just cooed at him and started splashing at the water in the tub. "Stop that your being indecent for a noble." he told her sternly. At which time she started to cry quite loudly, making him cover his ears as the sound was rather painful to him. "Stop it! Stop it!" he panicked. Simply thinking, why this couldn't of been on of Frances's baby learning methods with raw eggs instead.

"Sebastian, what the hell is going on in there?" Ciel shouted.

He simply groaned.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Every five minutes he found himself looking at the clock. Hoping it was nearly six. Unfortunately it wasn't, and his consistent checking was not helping either. Then he heard another crash. And apart of him was hoping it'd been Maylene. But after looking, it was not. It was Samantha, she'd pulled the table cloth and made the vase that was on it fall over. If it'd been Maylene, he could of yelled at her in the very least. Picking Samantha up he strapped her to his back and tried to clean. But every time he cleaned something, Samantha would manage to turn it into a mess the moment he let her crawl around. "Let's try to food." he decided. "I hear food makes human babies sleepy." he stated as he remembered reading about it in a book on how to take care of babies.

After mixing some suitable baby food, he sat her on a cushion on the counter and tried to feed her. She kept turning away, and even flung the food at him in his face. Which made him growl in distaste. "...This is most unbecoming..." he stated as his eye twitched. Wiping his face clean. Then Samantha started tugging on his hair again. Which made him growl even more.

"I never thought i'd see the day when you were baffled." Bard stated with amusement.

"Oh you think you could do any better?" he raised a brow at him.

"I couldn't do much worse."

After getting Samantha to let go of his hair, he stepped back and gestured towards her with an open hand. "Have at it then." he started to clean the counter where she had made a mess of some ingredients. Bard stepped up to her holding the bowl of food Sebastian had made and put some in a spoon.

"Okay, here comes the airplane!" he moved the spoon like a plane. Getting it near her mouth. In seconds, he was covered in the babyfood.

"Not so easy is it Mr. I couldn't do much worse?" he smirked.

"Okay...maybe it's not so easy." he caved in. Though he should of known if Sebastian was having a hard time, he wouldn't of had a chance himself. Placing the bowl on the counter he picked her up in his arms and tried to coddle her. "Your still cute though." he stated which made her giggle, which in turn made him smile...until he realized something had occured. "And you peed on me." he held her away from himself. That made Sebastian laugh, and feel better at the same time. Atleast he wasn't the only one who got peed on.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

In the next hour he'd found himself covered in flour, cleaning up seven flower vases, fixing a torn curtain, and stopping about four fires. "HOW CAN A BABY DO SO MUCH IN SO LITTLE TIME?" he shouted as he grabbed Samantha and was attempting to keep her from squirming as he was cleaning up her latest mess of vomit from the rug. He was fairly sure her actions had to of been some sort of record even by demon standards. "Stop squirming! Your making cleaning difficult!" he tried to keep her still. Then his stomach dropped as he held her away from himself. She'd peed. "...Atleast this time it wasn't on me." he sighed. Only to get vomited on a moment later. "...I take it back."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He could swear time was mocking him. Everytime he looked at the clock he could swear time had gone backwards instead of forwards. Though he knew it wasn't true.

"I just found out something highly interesting." Ciel smirked at his butler, who was yet again in a clean uniform.

"What is it young master?" he sighed in distaste. All he wanted to do was crawl into his bed and wait for the morning.

"Is it true your Samantha's godfather?" his grin grew.

"Apparently so." he replied as he placed the cup of hot tea before his master.

"I wonder how that would look on your record." he started to giggle. "Do you want to know how that came about?"

"Young master i'm very much aware of how becoming a child's godfather works."

"No." his smirk seemed to grow. "I mean do you want to know why it was decided that YOU would be her godfather." he clarified.

"Alright, how was it decided that I would be her godfather, even though the Marchioness told me Mrs. Clare decided it on her own."

"Apparently it was aunt Frances who suggested it. She thought a wonderful way to pay you back when you helped with the birth was to give you the honor of being her godfather." he sipped his tea. Watching as the demon was now flabbergasted, and looking like a fish out of water. "Don't forget to give me a point for that one. Though it wasn't a prank." he added. Listening to the demon let out a stream of profanity as if he were a sailor, and in apparently five different languages.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Six o'clock had not come soon enough, as the Marchioness and Mrs. Clare had come up the steps, smiling all the while. While Sebastian looked as though he'd gone through a hurricane several times over. "Sebastian...you like a fright." Clare was shocked when she noticed him.

"Let's just say it's been a very...VERY...long day." he stated as he handed her, her baby.

"I can see that." Frances looked amused. "But you can think of this as extra baby training."

"Oh yes, certainly if the woman who deemed I should be the child's godfather, then it must be so." he glared at her.

That made her realize, he knew she was the one who stated he should be the one for the role. "Don't look at me like that, it's a great honor. After all you did safely bring her into this world...mostly." she side glanced as she remembered when he kept poking at the baby during and even after she was born.

"I hope she wasn't too much trouble." Clare smiled at him.

"No more than the other servants." he smiled at her.

"Excuse me?" she raised a brow.

"Nevermind, please do take care." he waved her off. Wanting nothing more than the baby to be away from him as soon as possible.

Samantha then started to fuss, whimpering, and squirming in her mothers arms. "Oh what's wrong sweetie?" she asked the child as she tried to keep her hold on her. Samantha was reaching out to Sebastian.

"De...de..de..mon.." she got out. "Coaow dah mon..." she kept reaching for him. Making everyone either surprised, or raise a brow in confusion.

"Did she just call him a demon?" Clare looked confused.

Frances laughed. "Yes, yes Sebastian is indeed a demon." she stated in amusement. Not realizing the truth of what she said. "She probably thinks he's a crow because he's all in black."

Sebastian on the other hand couldn't hide his surprise at the child. Throughout the whole day he'd thought she was nothing more than an annoying pest who'd messed quite a few of his clothes. But with this he couldn't help but think how clever the child was.

"Goah deh men." Samantha cooed. Petting Sebastian when her mother lifted her up for a moment.

"Now, now Samantha, he's your godfather. Can you say godfather?" Clare asked.

"Gah vater deh men." Samantha giggled.

"I'm sorry." she sweated. "I don't know why she's saying your a demon."

"It's quite alright." he smiled pleasantly. "I most certainly am not offended by it." he bowed.

"Your so kind." she smiled. "Well then we must be off. Daddy is waiting for his little girl to read her a story. Say bye bye Samantha."

"Ba bai." Samantha waved at him.

Ciel and Sebastian waving as they left. "Well young master...it seems there are those who are aware of what I am without me saying a thing."

"I very much doubt she knows your really a demon." he scoffed.

"You never know young master." he smirked. "Some are quite able to tell us from humans." they walked into the house. Thinking maybe perhaps being the godfather of a human wasn't so bad afterall.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I know...it probably wasn't all that great. But it's better than what I originally planned. xD_

_Ugghhh...Now I have to do some stuff to make a childrens book for my art class. Originally yesterday (on Tuesday), my teacher pretty much gave everyone zero's because she said she didn't see the assignment in our sketchbooks. The problem with that...She never told us when the rough drafts were due, nor did she tell us they had to be in our sketchbooks. So it ended up being a harsh dispute with her because she'd barely told use last week on tuesday to bring some childrens books in on thursday that week, which we did and she kinda just left it at that. She didn't tell us what we were supposed to be doing, how she wanted it or anything. Thus why no one did anything cause no one knew what to do in the first place. . So after our discussion on it yesterday, now everyone has to have roughdrafts and some sketches done...by tomorrow . GAAAAAHHHHHHH! *dies* Am I procrastinating? Not really, cause the person I was gonna interview. Her phone is dead. . So I think i'ma use my friend theamazingfetus...though i'll probably do roughdrafts of both and see what my teacher says._

_I also updated Hidden Secrets if anyone reads that. Reviews or comments would be appreciated. As you guys know i'm rather pathetic and use those to see if i'm doing good or if I need to fix some grammer or something. *gives you all a pathetic puppy dog face* please? I also did some G Gundam fics. . LOL. Yeah...I really need to stop adding to my list of in progress fics. xD_

_Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it._


	32. Just another slow day

Something New 32

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

He stretched after he'd taken the last bag out of the wagon. It'd been a long day of shopping for groceries. But worth the trip. He hated going to the market in the afternoons. It was always so crowded then. So he'd go in the morning when there was less humans to deal with. It was also the easiest to get the freshest or highest quality items they had to offer. But this came at a price. Since they lived so far from town. It also meant they had to get up quite early. Of course as a demon he had no such difficulty with this. It was the others that had this trouble. Every time he'd have to wake up the other servants so they could get ready while he went and woke up their master. Getting him ready at three in the morning could be quite the challenge. Once he'd just scooped him up, bedsheets and all, and stuck him in the wagon. That day had been hilarious. It was also the day he'd learned that humans did not like being out in public in their night clothes. Even if they did have their sheets to cover themselves with.

"Sebastian, the food is all put away now." Bard yawned tiredly.

"Thank you." he smiled. "Now go put the horses in the stable, and after you may get an hours nap before starting the days work."

"Yay..." he yawned again. "I hate grocery shopping day." he whined as he pulled the horses to the stables. Continuing in this fashion even after he was past the house.

Oh yes. For Sebastian it was a very good day. The kittens had gotten bigger. Much to his delight. Granny was taking her morning nap. His master was more than likely getting his own nap in his room. And in a very short time. The other servants would be joining them. He loved the slow days. They could be so peaceful and quiet. He loved quiet. Quiet meant nothing was damaged, and that the humans were all sleeping.

And then an explosion happened.

Slowly he hunched over, and sighed pathetically. So much for a peaceful day. He thought bitterly as he grabbed a broom on the way to where the explosion happened. "Damn humans." he grumbled. Wishing it was tomorrow already.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The next day, he sweeped the front of the house. The leaves were starting to turn into a variety of hues that consisted of oranges and reds. It made a lovely picture that one of his personality could appreciate. Even if the leaves were being a pain and collecting at the front door due to the breeze. Yes he could have Finny do the job. But he felt that he needed some air and decided to simply do it himself. The breeze was rather refreshing. It felt good against his skin.

"Hey now, don't do that. You'll ruin my work." he looked over at the kitten who were currently amusing themselves with the pile of leaves he'd just sweeped up. "I just cleaned those." he walked over to them. Earning a few looks even as they played with the fallen leaves. He couldn't help but sigh in delight at how adorable they were being.

And then he heard the familiar cry, followed by the sound of a streaming torrents of tears. Even the kittens looked up, as they too recognized that familiar sound.

"Damn it." he growled as he got up. Fairly certain that a trip to the plant nursery would be in order.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Dusting his hands, the garden was now filled with newly planted grass, rose bushes, and tulips. Nodding in satisfaction, stood up, and gave them a bit of water to help them grow. Though he knew either the kittens or Finny would mutilate them sooner or later. Though atleast with the kittens they stood a chance at seeing another day. "I see your enjoying yourself." he spoke to Fluffy, who was laying on his back in the warm sun. He could swear the feline had a grin on his face. Even as he stretched and curled his paws to his chest a moment after. "Why can't the other servants be like you Fluffy?...I mean in the sense of not destroying things." he rubbed at his belly. Earning a purr from the content feline. "Sometimes I just wanna hide under the covers of my bed, and not leave that spot for a whole day." he kept rubbing his tummy. "..Or perhaps transform into one of my forms. You know. Stretch my wings a bit." he saw the feline was stretching into his hand to be petted some more. "...Well...maybe not the wings parts." he laughed lightly. "My life used to be so much more simple you know." he sat beside Fluffy, who jumped into his lap and curled into a ball for a nap. "Though i'll admit it was also much more boring." he looked up at the sky. "But still. Sometimes I wish I could have a single day all to myself, with no worries as to who destroyed what. Or that the young master needs something. Just like that one day when they left me alone in the house." he looked down. "I guess you don't have that problem." he snickered.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Ciel had overheard the demon, when he was walking the gardens for some air. He pondered what was stated for a moment. As though he were trying to figure out if demons needed time off. After several minutes he shook it off. And a grin formed on his face. "Sebastian!" he called as he rounded the corner. Pretending he'd been looking for the demon in the first place.

"Yes young master?" he looked up at the approaching boy. Abit aggitated at having been disturbed while relaxing a little.

"I want a chocolate cake with thick heavy vanilla cream, mint, and strawberry frosting."

"Yes my lord. Is it for some special occastion?" he got up after putting Fluffy on the ground.

"You could say that." he turned his back on the demon so he could hide his smirk.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Once the cake had been made. He'd presented it to his master. And even added some flowers made of frosting to decorate it. "The cake you requested my lord."

"Good." he smirked. "Now I order you to eat it."

"What?" he raised a confused brow.

"Eat it. Every last bite. Don't leave a single crumb."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Blinking several times as he tried to comprehend the order, he looked between his young master and the cake. Since he'd made the confection, he knew exactly what was in it. But he couldn't help but wonder what his young master was scheming.

"Oh and you may only eat it with your mouth." he added a second later. "With your hands behind your back."

Still wary, he just couldn't comprehend what it was his master wanted. He blinked at him a few more times before putting his hands behind his back and lowering himself in preparation of eatting the freshly made cake. For a moment he tried to think on how he could eat it in this manner without getting dirty. And that was when it came. The attack he should of sensed coming. But didn't.

Within moments he'd found himself squeeling as his master had attacked his sides where his one and only tickle spots were. And having a face covered in chocolate cake a second after, as his master had shoved his face into it. He wasn't sure what he was more. Shocked that his master's ploy had worked. Or angry at himself for not seeing such a simple ploy sooner.

Even as his master laughed at seeing his face covered in cake. He could only think of one thing. This was war.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It took time, but he waited. Now he simply needed one thing. His master to request something. The only problem was. His master wasn't asking for a single thing. He wasn't even sure if that was a good thing. Or if it simply annoyed him. So instead he decided to take intiative. Poking his head into his masters office. "Busy at work young master?"

"Hmm." he groaned as he looked over his paperwork. The amusement from earlier gone from his expression.

Sebastian held the item behind his back, hoping his master wouldn't noticed. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No thank you." came the response.

"Are you suuuurree?" he tried. "Do you need sooooooooommething?"

"No. Thank you Sebastian." he kept looking over his works.

That made him frown. His ploy would not work if his master didn't ask him for something. He tried to think on how he could make his plan succeed without him being suspicious. Walking into the room, he went behind his master and peered over his shoulder.

Ciel, sensing he was behind him, looked at him. "Can I help you with something?"

"No, no. I'm fine bocchan." he pretended to be interested in the document in front of his master.

He tried to go back to reading his paperwork. But when a demon is over your shoulder. One always has to wonder what said demon is up to. "It's not my fault you were caught off guard earlier ya know."

"I know. I'm not even thinking about that." came the response.

"Your making it obvious."

"Making what obvious?"

"That your thinking about it."

"Thinking about what young master?"

"You can't lie to me."

"Young master I don't have the faintest idea as to what your speaking of."

"Don't try to be coy with me. I know your up to something."

"Am I?" he smiled.

"Indeed. And I insist..." he never got to finish.

"Well if you insist." he quickly slapped the item from behind his back into his master's face. "Oh my young master. Look. You've creamed yourself." he grinned evilly. The item in question had been a cream pie he'd made for revenge against his master for his earlier attack. Once he'd finished his statement, he left the room as though nothing had happened in the first place.

Ciel pulled the plate off his face. And licked at the remains of the cream pie on his face. "Hmm...Keylime pie." he remarked. "I should of seen that coming. Previous pranks nearly always end with Sebastian getting revenge." he wiped at his face. "So much for taking advantage of his want for a relaxing day."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sebastian licked the cream off his fingers as he walked down the hall. He'd wanted a relaxing day. He really did. But he had to admit. That was a strange change of pace. If one considered that the pranks had been mild and only made a small mess. Especially when one considerred their usual pranks.

"It seems even light pranks can be entertaining as well." he continued to walk. Feeling oddly refreshed by the small action. "I think we shall have meatloaf for supper tonight." he pulled on his gloves. A small smile donning his features.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Not great, not amazing. But entertaining to me just the same. I dunno, sometimes even doing a small thing can make someone feel better. At work lately i'd been feeling nothing but complete utter aggitation. I've been streaming many curses at work. And have been wishing for nothing more than for work to be slow because i'm rather sick of the people. Most of those people are workers building a house. Very soon they will be done with the house, and hopefully things will slow down. Since I started working at this jobsite. It has always been in the works of being built. At my job, logging in about 4 pages worth of people is about average. 1 page is slow. 2 to 3 is mildly busy, and anything beyond that is super busy. It may not seem like that to others. But you have to stop and think about how many people can be listed per page. Which is about 25 per page. So by page 4 it means i've seen about 100 people or more (depending on how many people are in the car). And some of them have probably aggrivated me in one way or another. I'm not a people person. ._

But then there are times on those days when someone does something that cheers me up, and makes me feel better. And then I feel refresh and can go home happy and in a good mood. Those are the days I rather enjoy (other than the super slow days, which are far more epic!). Though honestly i'd rather have more days where I didn't have to deal with so many people. . Just saying.

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Again I know it's not fabulous or anything, but the whole point of it was, sometimes when you want something, something else can happen and still cheer you up just the same. =3

Reviews and comments appreciated. Yes I am still working on updates to other fics. With school and work, it's just been harder for me to update as much. Plus i've been working on merchandise to sell. (Finally running out of yarn woo!) Later all!


	33. Wait what? My mind does not comprehend!

Something New 33

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Fall was here. And he was highly happy. For summer had been far too hot for his liking. And when one wore mostly black, that really didn't make summer anymore comfortable. Walking with Bard with a large box, they carried it to the inspection room. This months items to be inspected or tested within the large box. And they wanted to get it ready before the young master was finished with his work. Once it was there, they'd opened it, and set up the new stuff animals on a table. One was a stuff cat, that he eyed possessively. He would own that stuffed cat by the end of the day. And no one would stop him. He was highly tempted to even put his name on it so everyone would know it was to be his. Once the task was completed, he went about his other chores. Eatting a few of the candies granny had given him earlier that day as a reward for working so hard. When he finally stopped and took a moment to actually look in the bag. Something dawned on him. Something that realistically shouldn't of even bothered him. But it was. And it wouldn't stop.

"Now that. Is just so...I can't even wrap my head around it."

"Can't wrap your head around what?" Bard asked as he walked up behind him.

"This." he held up the bag.

"Okay, what about it?"

"This! I simply cannot fathom the lack of grape gummy bears!"

Bard blinked at him a few times, obviously thinking on it. "Ya know..." he scratched at his cheek. "...I never realized until you said it. But there are no grape gummy bears are there?"

"I know! And it's driving me crazy! I mean...every fruit confection in existence always has a grape flavor!" he spoke louder than necessary. "But yet, there is no such thing as a grape gummy bear!"

"Maybe they just wanted to test it out first?"

"But it's been years! YEARS! And there's still no grape gummy bear!"

Bard seemed as though he tried to comprehend the butler's plight. "Wait a minute. Don't you like. Hate artificial grape things? Why should you care if there's no grape gummy bear?"

"Because it's the fact that this is no grape gummy bear, that I simply cannot wrap my head about it and understand why there is simply no grape gummy bear! It doesn't matter that I probably would not of eatten it. It's the whole concept that of every fruit confection, gummy bears do not have grape!" he held the bag toward the man. "I mean look at this! Red isn't even cherry! It's raspberry! RASPBERRY! But there are cherry gummy bears! Green is strawberry! STRAWBERRY! My mind is being completely blown over this!"

"I can see that." Bard tried to keep himself from laughing. Never had he seen the demon so flummoxed before. And it was very hard not to laugh. Though he was sure if he did, he'd be punished for it.

Sebastian on the other hand looks as though he was in a strange form of panic, while having a smile on his face. Being a demon, he had seen many things. Known many things. But this was something he could not seem to comprehend, even as a demon. "Who in the world decided that there was never to be a grape gummy bear?!"

"Maybe there are grape gummy bears and that particular brand just doesn't make them?" he offered.

Sebastian just stared at him for several seconds, before taking his bag of gummies and leaving the room in a hurry.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" came the shout from the kitchen an hour later.

"What?" Bard kept his eyes on the potato he was peeling.

"Grape gummy bears do exist!"

"I told you."

"But they cost the same amount as like...a carton of your cigarette! For the same size as this bag!"

"Holy crap! Those must be some fancy gummy bears!" he was now shocked.

"I know!" Sebastian just seemed to be unable to lower his voice for the moment. "And now it's like...we know they exist. But they cost so much!"

"Costs as much as my cigarettes." he nodded.

Sebastian seemed to be doing some strange hand gestures, as though he were trying to accept the strange world of gummy bears. "Never will I ever be able to accept this. I will forever be confused!"

"You do that." he finished peeling the potato. Though he found great amusement over Sebastian's actions.

"Sebastian, why are you yelling?" Ciel asked in aggitation as he came into the kitchen. The demon had been yelling for over an hour. And it was making it hard for him to get any work done.

"The gummies...! The bears! No grape!" he pointed to his bag of gummy bears.

"What?" he looked at the demon in confusion.

"Sebastian is being overwhelmed by the fact that apparently the company that makes those gummy bears does not make a grape flavored gummy bear, even though every other fruit candy has a grape flavor, and grape gummy bears do exist, but apparently cost as much as a carton of my cigarettes."

"Exactly!" Sebastian shook his hands.

"Wait...there's no grape gummy bears?" Ciel seemed to try to comprehend this fact.

"There is. But they are expensive!" Sebastian ate one of his gummy bears. "And apparently red is raspberry and green is strawberry!" he held the bag at his master.

"So that's why I like the red ones of this particular brand." Ciel retorted as he snagged a red gummy bear. He rather liked raspberries. And the brand of gummy bears Sebastian was eatting was the only brand where he liked their red gummies.

"Now that I think about it. How come our company doesn't make gummy bears?" Bard ask, as it dawned on him that their own company didn't make that product.

"Because I try to stay away from making the same products as other companies." Ciel ate another red gummy bear.

"We could always bring back peace babies." Sebastian stated as he ate a few of his green gummy bears. Obviously finally calming down over the concept of grape gummy bears.

Ciel had a gummy bear nearly in his mouth when the demon said that. And obviously a light bulb went off above his head.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Our new line of gummy candy has been rather successful young master." Sebastian stated as he held a clipboard in his hand and was jotting down notes.

"Indeed. I didn't know it would do so well." Ciel nodded as he tested a few stuffed animals by hugging them. "We can deem them a new official product for the Funtom Company."

"Of course." he smiled as he wrote down a few things. "And i'm glad you took my advice young master."

"Hmmm.." he growled slightly. But pretended he was simply testing his products. "We shall have to have another factory done."

"Indeed, especially since our new product sells out faster than we can get it on the shelves." the demon agreed.

"Are you mocking me demon?" Ciel leered at him.

"Not at all young master. I was merely stating a fact." he smiled innocently.

Turning away, he finished examining the last of the products. Making notes on what needed to be fixed, and what was done just right. "I'm rather hungry."

"We have been working hard today." Sebastian put the notes in a file to be mailed later. "I shall get right on to making supper."

"Make it something quick. I'm hungry now." he sat in his seat.

"Well then young master." he held out a white bag that he'd taken from his pocket. "...would you like a jelly baby?" he offered.

Ciel did his best not to laugh. Even as he grabbed one from the pack. It was the demons idea to rename them from peace babies to jelly babies. "Hmm.."

Leaving the bag on the desk, Sebastian bowed. "I shall call you when dinner is ready my lord."

"Good." he finished, as he saw the demon leave. Grabbing another jelly baby, he saw that it was grape flavored. Just like the first one he'd eatten. Eatting it he pulled the bag closer, wanting a different flavor. Then his eyes slanted and he frowned. The whole bag consisted of nothing but pure grape flavored jelly babies. "That demon." he growled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_I could not help it. This had to be written. It really had. I was eatting some Haribo gummy bears. And as I was eatting them. It dawned on me that there was not a single grape gummy bear in the pack. At first I thought. Well maybe I just grabbed a pack that did not have any grape ones in it. But after thinking on it for a bit. I realized. I'd never had a grape gummy bear. So then I looked it up on wikipedia, and of course they are talking about who first made gummy bears, and how they originated in germany. And Haribo (who apparently first made the gummy bears) comes up and they talk about how the red gummy bear is raspberry and green is strawberry (no wonder I like the green ones especially. I love strawberry!), while the other ones are typical flavors, pineapple, orange, lemon... you get my point. And that there are other companies that do make grape gummy bears. But Haribo does not._

So I looked up grape gummy bears.

And holy crap! They cost about as much as a Monster High Doll! X.x

Now don't get me wrong here. I hate artificial grape things. So realistically this shouldn't have any baring on me what so ever. But my mind was completely blown, even though they've been around for years! Right now I still cannot even wrap my head around the fact that Haribo does not make grape gummy bears.

Isn't that crazy?! Every other fruit confection has grape! But not Haribo gummy bears?! X.x What is with the world!

_So in all of this, as you can see. I simply had to write a new Something New chapter about it, even though I just posted a chapter today maybe an hour or so ago, because my mind is simply blown, and frankly I thought it'd make a good chapter. xD I personally like this chapter more than the other one, but hey, both work and serve their purpose._

So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. And are happy for getting 2 chapters for Something New in the same day! Reviews and comments appreciated. And yes, Jelly Babies originate in the UK. And were originally called Peace Babies as they were made to celebrate the end of World War 1. xD They are also used in Doctor Who.


	34. Differences of Opinion

Something New 34

By Female Heero Yuy

_Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji this would be in the manga. XD_

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

They were in the city. Trying to get some much needed shopping done. Though he personally hated going on shopping trips. They typically took the whole day. How many times had he whined about this to his butler? He'd lost count. Though he supposed on the plus he wasn't wrapped in his sheets and in his nightgown. Sebastian had the tendency to just give up when attempting to wake him for shopping trips. Thus on numerous occastions the demon would have apparently scooped him up, sheets and all, and put him in the carriage to get the shopping done. And by the time he'd wake up they'd already be in town. Unfortunately. Today was one of those instances. "I hate you." he grumbled as the demon walked up with a rather large back of grain.

"My apologies young master, but I did state you should go to sleep early so you could wake up in time." he placed it beside his grumpy master.

"You should of tried harder to wake me."

"Young master, after an hour I gave up. Any longer and we would of been behind schedule."

"You mean any longer and your favorite fruit merchant would of been out of those cherries you wanted to get."

He smiled, "Precisely."

"We have cherries you know." he pulled his sheets closer to himself. It was cold in the morning. He didn't understand how it could be so cold. But usually he was asleep at this time, so perhaps he just never noticed.

"Indeed, but not royal anne cherries." he smiled. "I need them because of a dessert I wanted to try making. And the recipe specially calls for royal anne cherries."

"That better be a delicious dessert." he mumbled under his breath. If it was for something delicious, he could forgive the demon. Though he'd never tell him. As said demon stepped away to grab some more of his purchases. He looked about the streets. It was somewhat crowded, as he supposed it would be considering it was the morning market. Most people seemed to ignore him. Which he was thankful for. But nothing particularly interesting was catching his attention. Noticing two women hugging one another, he assumed them to be friends...until they started kissing. Then shock overwhelmed him.

"Is something the matter young master?" Sebastian looked at him confused.

All he could do was offer muttered sounds. He couldn't find the words to even indicate what he was looking at. His face was more than likely red with embarrassment. And suddenly, he was grateful for this thick sheets.

Sebastian however seemed to read his mind. As he looked over to where the two women were kissing, barely pulling away, and taking a moment to grasp one anothers rears. He looked back at his master in utter confusion. Not understanding the reaction he was giving. But after his shopping was done, and they were on the way home. That was when he decided to bring it up. "Did that bother you my lord?"

"I don't know what your talking about." Ciel snubbed, pretending he hadn't seen a thing.

"Oh? I thought perhaps you were bothered by the two ladies showing affection."

Damn that demon for being so in tune with his thoughts, was all he could think. He wanted to glare at the demon, but his thoughts were else where. Making questions form in his mind. "...Do demons do that?" he asked.

"Do what?" he looked at his master as he didn't understand. "You mean kiss?"

"Yeah."

"Of course they do..." he turned away to watch the road. "...demons afterall do understand romance. Possibly more than you humans."

"No I mean...do two demons of the same gender...kiss." he felt himself blushing.

"Of course. It's rather normal for me."

That made him raise a brow. "Does that mean there are no male-female demon relationships?" he looked at him curiously.

"What are you talking about? There are male-female relationships in my world."

"But you said there were same gender relationships in your world."

"There are." he stated bluntly. Making a stop at the front of the manor and ordering the other servants to deal with the shopping and carriage. Finally taking his young master to his room. Giving him a proper bath and dressing him for the day.

"It's wrong."

"What is?" he tied his masters neck ribbon into a perfect bow.

"Same gender relationships. It's just...so wrong."

"Why is it wrong?" he put a shoe on his master's foot. Tying the laces perfectly before doing the other foot.

"Because relationships should be between a male and female. Otherwise no child can come from it."

"Do you think everyone wants a child?" Sebastian looked up at him seriously.

He looked down at his butler for several moments before he could reply. "Why else would someone be in a relationship?"

"Because they love one another." he finished his master's shoe and stood up.

"And thus they make a child." he stood up.

"One does not have to have a child to be in love young master." he followed him to his office.

"So says you. Demons probably don't even know how to love properly." he sat in his seat to prepare for a long day of work.

"If anything demons now more about love than humans. It's more likely that we express true love. As opposed to your love that is false and only for the sake of breeding. But I suppose that is what humans are best at." he shrugged.

"How dare you!" he slammed his hands on his desk. Standing up instantly and ready to pummel the demon. "Whatever you think is irrelevant! Same gender relationships are wrong! Wrong! Wrong! WRONG! And does not show the true meaning of love! You..." he never got to finish. For it dawned on him that there was another person in the room.

"Oh don't mind me. Please do continue." The Marchioness stated as she crossed the room to stand beside the butler. "This discussion is rather interesting."

"I...well..." he tried to figure out what it was he was going to say. But his aunts presence that distracted him. 'Did she hear anything about the parts with the demons?!' he panicked. "I was explaining to Sebastian how same gendered relationships are wrong." he sat down and tried to regain his composure.

"Oh? And what is his opinion on the matter?" she seemed intrigued.

"He thinks it's okay."

"Does he now?" she gave a strange look to the dark haired demon. Sebastian promphtly felt as though he were in danger. While Ciel felt like he'd gained a victory. Surely his aunt would agree with him, her own nephew on the matter.

"Well. Sebastian, what are your exact thoughts on the subject?" she held her fan to her lips.

"Forgive me Marchioness, but I believe no matter what the relationship, it is not wrong. But I also believe same gender relationships is a true form of love as there are no hidden agendas behind it."

"Such as?"

"Baring children."

"So are you saying that male to female relationships aren't a true form of love?" she asked.

"Not at all. I am simply stating that the expression is different. That same gendered relationships tend to be more maintained because there is better understanding without the excuse that there is a need to breed."

"I see." she closed her fan and grasped it in her hands. "Well then...Ciel...what is your thoughts on the matter?"

"It's wrong. Same gendered relationships are wrong. Especially because no child can come of it."

"I see." she seeme to be thinking for a moment. "And what would you say if I told you your father was...different."

That made him blink several times as he at first didn't grasp the meaning. "Are you saying my father was into men?"

"In a manner of speaking." she averted her gaze. "Though he was into women as well...as you know."

"The former Earl was bi-sexual?!" Sebastian blurted out without intending to. But needless to say he was utterably shocked. To hear such a thing was not something he was expecting. Though he also supposed he shouldn't of been so shocked. He didn't know the former Earl to begin with.

Ciel on the other hand was just trying to grasp the term the demon just spouted. "What's bi-sexual?"

"It means a person who's into both genders." Francis clarified.

"No way...father couldn't have been..." Ciel seemed to be in denial.

"It is the truth. But be assured, he loved your mother very much. He always said she was the only woman he could ever love."

"And you were okay with this?!" he seemed to be in hysterics.

"Why not? I only wanted my brother to be happy. Who he bedded with didn't change him. And would also bring to point that love knows no bounds. I would also like to point out that there are various ways for same gendered couples to have children."

That made him fall into his seat. He could already see it in Sebastian's eyes. He'd lost. The demon had won. With everything he had to wrap his head about the new information. It was nothing short of driving him to near insanity.

"As a noble, one must be open to such things. Whether or not we approve." Frances added. Which strangle gave him little consolation.

"I must know one thing. Just one thing Aunt Frances."

"What is it?"

"What is your opinion of it? Honestly."

"Honestly. It doesn't bother me." she smirked slyly. "Whom one beds with doesn't do any harm to the rest of society. I rather like to imagine there's a little extra fun there."

Upon hearing those words Ciel could only think one thing. 'She's a demon.'

Sebastian was personally feeling like he'd earned a great victory. Not only did his point get across, but the one person he thought for sure would of told him such an opinion was indecent agreed with him. He felt like skipping along with glee. His young master should be aware that he was rather surrounded by various types of people. He briefly wondered if his master was aware, or just blinded by his own ideals. But at the moment that didn't matter. He'd won. He'd won and felt like making a victory dessert to show he'd won. He wanted to tell other demons that there were humans that actually understood the concept of love. And that who was with who in a relationship didn't matter. And suddenly, he didn't feel so alone. Sure as a demon he'd be an outcast. But this gave him a tiny bit of hope that he wasn't the only one in the house that was open minded.

"Shall I go and make some tea?" he offered. His mood completely elated.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_There have been tons and tons of posts on gay marriage, gay rights, etc, etc, etc. On my tumblr dash, or my FB. I'd even had many discussions about it with several people, and had different opinions of course come into the mix. Personally none of it bothers me. Though I am straight, to me it doesn't hurt me in anyway shape or form if gays are permitted to be married. And it doesn't hurt anyone else either. They are people and people have rights. Gays have been around for decades, and people need to learn it's not a phase. And it's not going to go away. Even if you don't approve, you don't need to bash people for who they are. Just silently complain about it to yourself and move on. Frankly some of my best friends are gay and they are some of the most awesome people I know. _

_So after a discussion with theamazingfetus, I decided I wanted to write a chapter for Something New on the subject. Because honestly. I think Vincent was bi-sexual. Sebastian being a demon wouldn't care, because like me, it doesn't affect him. Ciel would probably be closed minded about it, but would accept it none the less, and Frances though seemingly harsh, would probably not mind so much because nobles tended to do that sort of stuff anyway and she's old enough to know about it._

_I know I probably offended some people with this chapter. But I don't think it's wrong to treat someone as a person based on who they are, not what they are. Everyone deserves respect, and sexual orientation is not a reason for someone to lose another persons respect. Trust me. There's alot worse someone can do._

_Anyway to those who enjoyed this chapter, reviews and comments appreciated. Schools now over, so while I work on merchandise for AB at work. On my days off I will try to work on fics. I am hoping to update 5 fics before school starts up again in January. Which i'll be taking my final class and have an associates degree =3 Yay! Wish me luck!_


End file.
